let-the-dogs-out

Norwegians: “Hey, check it out, I met Tarjei on the street today!”

 “Look, Henrik made my coffee!” 

“David’s so nice! Great meeting him!”

“Omg, Ulrikke is just as pretty in perseon!”

Literally anyone who watches Skam but does not live in Norway: 

[stares into the middle distance] 

I have made a huge mistake.

[Tim is sitting on the floor, in the dark, surrounded by paper and what looks like the contents of an entire coffeehouse. Harper enters and turns on the light]

Harper(Looking around and trying to understand what she’s seeing): …Um? Tim?

Tim(Staring unblinking into The Void): Harper, how old do you think I am?

Harper(Hazarding a guess more to humor him than anything else): Fifteen? Dude, these all nighters have to stop, it’s like, 3 A.M-

Tim(Turning to her with what looks like great difficulty): I’m sixteen. And do you know how long I’ve been sixteen for?

Harper: I… I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand what you’re-

Tim: No, you wouldn’t, would you? You haven’t been here long enough to notice. Time stands still here. Oh, something passes, but it’s not real time. They can’t create real time.

Harper(Nodding slowly and choosing not to ask who ‘they’ are): Uh huh. Hey, uh, just out of curiosity, nothing at all to do with you sounding like even more of a conspiracy freak than usual, did you drink ALL of these? Because I’m pretty sure that amount of caffeine is fatal for anything smaller than a water buffalo and-

Tim(Making an effort to smile): I’ve been sixteen since 2003.

Harper: …Oh?

Tim(Giving up on smiling to lie face down on the floor): It was bad enough the first year. 

What is it with toddlers and personal space? If this little bald asshole touches my knee one more time, I’m launching him across the parking lot.
—  Akutagawa Ryunosuke

My nighttime habit may have saved my life

This is a creepy experience by reddit user CarveAPumpkin

This happened two nights ago, so I’m still replaying it over and over in my head. I thought this would be a good place to share.  I’m a pretty predictable person, with a predictable schedule, so I’m not sure if this was a random occurrence or if someone knew my nightly routine.

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