let's steal everything

What your Neverwinter Nights romance option says about you:

Valen Shadowbreath: You probably had an emo phase at one point. Recalling his romance you’ll listen to “Monster” by Skillet, or “Animal I Have Become” by Three Days Grace. You also can’t stop making ‘horny’ jokes. Valen Shadowbreath was the one who spurred you into your 3edgy5me “demons are misunderstood” phase.

Nathyrra: You’re probably hardcore into BDSM and would thank her for stepping on your neck with golf cleats. You were probably scratching your head and wondering why she was the straight romance option. Seriously, did none of the creators read their own subtext?

Aarin Gend: You’re the only one who remembers he exists. You scream in agony forever. Literally he and Aribeth are the only things that make the Original Campaign of NWN1 worthy of playing. And nobody fucking remembers him.

Aribeth de Tylmerande: You got into this at first for the Boob Window. Now there’s a goddamn war and she’s lost her mind. Shit, she’s dead now. You’re romancing a corpse. Where does it get worse from here. You don’t know but somehow necrophilia doesn’t seem so bad…

Casavir: You were probably attracted to Goose God or Freaky Fred at one point. How do we go back from this. Tell me how we can take this back and forget it all.

Gann: You’re probably a big fan of musicals. You’re also probably a big fan of Howl’s moving castle. You’re cultured and witty and intelligent and have good taste. But hush, enough about you. It’s all about Gann now. For ever. And Ever

Safiya: You probably have a teacher/student kink. If you didn’t already, you’ve probably thought about it since. Don’t tell me you haven’t, you grody napkin.

Elanee: What this romance option says about you is that you’re a lying liar. You’ve never intentionally romanced her, ever, and enjoyed it. Literally, who thought this was a good idea?!

Bishop: He’s part of the reason why you hate men, but yet you find yourself going back to him time and again anyways. We understand. We’re in hell too. We’re here for you.

Neeshka: You’re convinced she’s your manic pixie dream girl. You would let her steal everything you own - your shirt, your pants, your will to live– and then you find out she’s unromanceable. And you’re out about 50,000 gold pieces. She’s already on her way to Waterdeep by now. Fuck.

Sand: There is no Sand romance option. You are in denial anyhow, and with each playthrough you’re at it again, kissing his ass and kidding yourself. Today will be the day I choose Bishop or Casav– Bitch, please, it’s all over once he comes in with that “Ah, it seems I have arrived just in time to deflect the usual barrage of slander from the local innkeeper” line.

The day I leave the Astro fandom is when Moonbin stops trying to eat everyone’s food, which is never.
—  Me after watching MJ rage about Binnie eating up the leftovers he hid away during that one Astro Play episode. 

Friends are cool but friends all in black are cooler

in which i attempt skyrim and it contains significantly more anime than I was led to expect

I have never previously played Skyrim, so, for my first attempt, my brother thoroughly modded up the game for me so that I could get the fullest and most vivid possible experience out of my limited game time. I thought I would document the experience.

I assume this is exactly how Skyrim normally goes.

Initial Impressions

  • ….all the prisoners in this cart are wearing hot pink tunics declaring their eternal devotion to Justin Bieber.
  • oh my god the cart is being pulled by a giant Fluttershy. is that— is she saying yay. oh my god this whole town is full of giant Fluttershies. they are magnificent.
  • SKYRIM, y’all.
  • i’m going to be a lizard.
  • apparently it is unusual that the town is full of gigantic jungle trees.  apparently skyrim is set somewhere cold.  that is dumb.  why would there be parrots flying around somewhere cold?
  • it’s really hard to take this execution seriously when half the people are in Bieber shirts.
  • THE DRAGON IS COMING. IT IS THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE. IT COULD ONLY EVER HAVE BEEN THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE.
  • running around the flaming jungle town. wow, thomas is actually kind of disconcerting when he suddenly looms through a window-wall at you. and when he belches streams of fire.
  • why do i keep hearing that noise? like voices saying ‘pew, pew.’
  • what. what do you mean the arrows now say ‘pew’ when shot. that is beautiful. wait oh my god are people shooting at me??
  • i have found a cool chest is completely full of awesome armor. and now i can no longer walk. this chest has more armor than i can walk with. why would you require me to make decisions about which shiny things to discard. :-(
  • ALL OF THIS ARMOR DRESSES ME UP AS HATSUNE MIKU. oh god i am so anime. …still have my rad lizard tail though.
  • what do you mean i should have carried more of that armor and not keep picking up this book and this kettle and this rock. why would they let me pick things up if i wasn’t meant to carry them away with me?
  • oh god my weapon is a giant leek how did this happen. how did i come to be bludgeon-slicing strangers to death with a giant leek.
  • this is the coolest i have ever been.
  • was i even supposed to kill that guy, i don’t know.
  • …..whilst exploring these caves i have been set upon by a group of terrifying mutant spidermen. no really. they are wearing the red and blue costume and everything. this is the most horrifying thing that has ever happened to me and i am frantically leek-bludgeoning everything in sight because oh god, what if they touched me???
  • Now there is a polar bear. I like it much better than the spidermen.
  • It—um. It appears to be singing at me. It is standing up and singing at me in autotune. I… I can’t even tell if this is meant to be threatening. It’s kind of beautiful? Oh, okay, now it’s charging me. Still singing, though.
  • Aw, I had to murder the singing bear. :(
  • I’mma take its skin.
  • okay wow these trees make it REALLY hard to keep track of the guy i am following. where is even the path. i am literally lost in a JUNGLE. i am going to lose all of skyrim by dying of jungle in the first half hour.
  • SUDDENLY RAPTORS. JUNGLE RAPTORS. I’M LOST IN THE JUNGLE AND THE RAPTORS ARE GOING TO EAT ME i totally saw this movie.
  • update: i flailed wildly at the raptors with my giant leek until i finally realized that they were dead, they had just glitched into midair motionlessness instead of, say, falling over.
  • i raid the corpse statues for raptor hides.
  • and now i’m in a waterfall for some reason god i am bad at this
  • THANK GOD, FINALLY, A TOWN.
  • hey these people’s houses are all full of leeks and, like, jelly donuts. what mod even turns all the food fluorescent and sugary. why is that a mod. and why does skyrim let you steal everything.
  • i don’t know why my first reaction to a chicken was to shoot it with an arrow, but I probably deserved that chicken exploding. 
  • oh, now a man is yelling at me for exploding the chickens. guy, i am as surprised as you.
  • leaving town with a bounty on my head.  this is exactly like a wild west movie.
  • note to self: do not initiate cutscene conversations while bandits are shooting at you.
  • ow. ow. ow. ow.
  • dramatic upskirt death shot.  
  • good thing i wasn’t expecting to die with dignity or anything.
  • take two, run faster.
  • oh god.  this guy sells horses and i need to buy a fluttershy you don’t even understand how important this is to me. why the hell did i dump all that expensive armor and why did i steal all these pots and pans. pots and pans are not going to buy me a pony.
  • no i’m sorry i can’t take your quest i am a lizard in an anime outfit and i am trying to find money for a pony.
  • …i feel a sudden need to re-examine my life choices.
  • shit i just got arrested.  D:
  • my dark, chicken-exploding past has finally caught up to me.
  • you know, i expected the grody prison cell, but the half-naked, unconscious cellmate in pink underwear was a surprise.
  • my time sleeping on a prison cot was extremely underwhelming.
  • i guess i’m in town now?
  • dude. dude. a creepy stranger in a my little pony fursuit just trotted up to me and gave me a bunch of MLP armor. i absolutely refuse to run around this game dressed as a my little pony. i am already a lizard in an anime outfit.
  • okay fine maybe just the hoof-hands.
  • town life is strange.
  • um. did that guard just get struck by lightning. 
  • why.
  • oh god if they say the “arrow to the knee” line they get struck down by lightning. all the other guards are running around trying to figure out who did this. it was judgment from the sky. i’m sorry. i’m so sorry. what have i wrought?
  • hey, i wonder if i can get this guard struck by lightning while indoors?
  • huh, 37 random conversations later and he is NOT going to say the line.
  • this NPC wants to live. i think i’ll leave him al— “—then I took an arrow to the knee!” NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
  • ….the lightning works indoors. Oh god, I feel especially bad about this one.

At this point I was too guilt-stricken to continue and paused to collect myself and eat pizza.

Sometimes it’s good to post really bad, cringeworthy training moments right? Right. I think so.

youtube

World/Inferno Friendship Society - Let’s Steal Everything!

*Hello there if you don’t mind I’ll be reviewing it 

Heyo, was wondering if you want to review my OC. Don’t hold anything back!

Ursajell 

*A very interesting name!

*Is there any reason for it or did you just come up with it?

they/them/their

Non-binary

Monster type: ghost

Location: waterfall

Nicknames:

Jelly (given by themselves)

je11y (UnderNet screen name)

*Much cute!

Basic Info:

They are a vendor, and cannot be fought. Their hobby is making plush dolls, usually depicting bears. They also sell plushies depicting monster species, such as ghosts, fire elementals, skeletons, goats, etc. which can be seen behind them. They make a living by selling plush dolls, which can be bought at their home.

*I just have one question about this.

*Is it they literally can’t be fought in a way where you can not initiate a battle with them

*Or can you just not end one


Dolls can be equipped as a very weak weapon (0 ATK) but hold magical bonuses such as extra invincibility frames, extra HP from food items, or extra speed. They can also hold negative bonuses (slower speed, less invincibility frames, etc.) if made poorly, but Ursajell is aware of the bad plushies and decides not to sell them. However, they are forgetful and depending on your Fun values, they will mistakenly put a “Chubby skeleton” plush (with negative properties) up for sale. Plushies are useful for pacifist runs, since they give strong boosts with no attack. Items can only be bought from Ursajell if the player is on a pacifist or neutral playthrough.

*Sounds okay to me!

Personality + fun facts:

  • they stylise their appearance to look more like a teddy bear

  • they will lash out at people who insult their plushies

  • their favourite food is ghost jelly (*It looks like ME!!)

  • they love being clean and neat

  • they have a habit of mumbling to themself

  • their speech style uses many excessive exclamation/question marks, and often emphasizes words using caps, showing the PASSION behind their words. when talking to themself however, the text lacks punctuation and proper form.

  • they will defend their favourite things mercilessly, unless they are proven wrong (this is shown through interactions with them)

  • favourite things include: MTT, ghost jelly, their own plushies, bears, and hot dogs.

  • *smells like MTT Brand anime powder.

Relationships with canon characters:

Sans

buys hot dogs from his illegal hotdog stand in hotland on a regular basis

Undyne

lives nearby, has heard a lot about her, is too intimidated to talk to her

Napstablook

lives nearby. Ursajell gives them ghost jelly as a gift for special occasions. Ursajell likes to say that they’re friends.

Mettaton

watches him on TV, has a celebrity crush on him (emphasis on the celebrity part). Unaware that he used to live beside Napstablook

Woshua

appreciates it’s cleanliness. Good pals.


Chubby Skeleton - WEAPON AT 0 Looks oddly familiar. Half of the tag is smudged. It reads: “Decreases SPEED and INV. Do not sell.”

INTERACTIONS (pacifist/neutral)

*Welcome to Ursaplush??? We sell HIGH QUALITY plushies!!! (upon interacting)

Buy

*Pick whichever one you want… They’re made with LOVE!!! (while purchasing)

*YAY!!! Thanks, kid! Enjoy your new pal! (after buying an item)

*Oh…. Well… You’ll buy one soon, right?? (not buying an item)

16G - Polar bear Weapon: 0AT Extra HP from consumables

32G - Plush in the Shape of Mettaton’s Face Weapon: 0AT SPEED up in battle

64G - Furry Boss Monster Weapon: 0AT Invincible longer

128G - Chubby skeleton Weapon: 0AT ????!?!??!

^ That’s the bad one. Only appears with certain Fun values.

*Oh my, you have put alot of effort into this it’s refreshing to see

Sell

*Um? I really don’t want to buy anything from you??? But if you need some G, I could help you out…

*Ursajell gives you 15G.

Sell (second time)

*I ALREADY GAVE SOME G TO YOU!!! So stop asking me to buy your stuff. I’m not a charity!!

Sell (third time)

*Ursajell pretends you didn’t say anything.

Sell (if you have a hot dog)

*WAIT. Is that a hot dog!!?I just ran out of those!!!

*…..AND!!!… *

….I really don’t wanna go to Hotland…

*…..

*……….. I shouldn’t be buying hot dogs from a kid.

*Hey… where were you keeping that anyway????

*(oh god)

*Ha Ha the interactions are amusing

Talk

*Hmmm? What’s up?? (while in talk)

Say hello

*Hey???!!! I’m Ursajell, but you can call me Jelly. Um… sorry, I can barely see you over the counter…  *(maybe i should put a stool outside idk lol)

About yourself

*OH! UH!? You want to know about… me??? *Well, um, how about this?! My favourite celebrity is MTT! Have you seen his AMAZING shows!?

*He’s so…

*…rectangular!!!!!

About plushies (haven’t bought an item)

*YOU SHOULD BUY ONE!!!

*They’re like… magic and stuff.

*They don’t do magic ATTACKS though…

*(i can’t tell them that my plushies gives stat boosts or else i would just be a dirty spoiler)

About plushies (bought an item)

*OH?? You want to know about [most recently bought plush]??? Well, I that one [gives you more HP when you eat food!! / makes you run super fast!!! / makes you, um, super INVINCIBLE!!]

*(jeez kid i even wrote it on the tag for you)

Criticize (haven’t bought anything)

*EXCUSE ME!!!??? How would YOU EVEN KNOW. You haven’t even bought one yet!!!

*(jeez what a rude kid lmao buy something already)

Criticize [NEW!] (already bought something)

*WHAT…?! UMMM?? There’s nothing wrong with my plushies!!! I bet you’re just saying that to get a refund!!! JEEZ.

*(what’s this kid’s problem)

Criticize [NEW! NEW!!!] (bought chubby skeleton)

*WHAT DO YOU– wait, umm….? Is that… oh jeez, I’m sorry!!! I-I must have, uh, sold you one of the baddies. Heheh… my bad… uhm… here…

*You hand over the Chubby Skeleton.

*Ursajell gives you 128G.

Exit

See you soon????!!!

INTERACTIONS (genocide)

*… Eugh… You’re getting dust on the counter… (upon interacting)

Buy

*WERE YOU ACTUALLY EXPECTING TO BUY SOMETHING?!!!

*I don’t sell my plushies to CREEPS.

*Besides, you’re gonna get your DISGUSTING DUST all over my plushies.

Buy (second time)

*Nope!!

Sell

*Ursujell is wiping the counter.

*They seem to be ignoring you.

Talk

Threaten

*….HAHAHA! *You think I’m scared of you???! There’s no way I’m gonna leave my shop and let you TAKE and STEAL everything you want!

*In your stupid face, PUNK.

Fight

*Are you for REAL?? I’m a ghost. GHOSTS CAN’T DIE.

Exit

*Have FUN. Why don’t you go wash the dust of off your hands??

ITEMS:

Polar Bear - WEAPON AT 0 The tag reads: “Can be used as a great conversation starter for when you need to break the ICE! Consumables heal 2 more HP.”

Plush in the Shape of Mettaton’s Face- WEAPON AT 0 A plush in the shape of Mettaton’s face. It’s covered in glitter and sequins.The tag reads: “UNOFFICIAL MERCH. MTT HASN’T YELLED AT ME YET. Increases SPEED in battle.”

Furry monster - WEAPON AT 0 The tag reads: “In honour of our hopeful ruler, King Fluffbutt. Increases invincibility by 7.”


[all other characters have no relation]

Thanks for taking a look at my OC!


*I wish I could write more hon!

*This oc is so well thought out there are not many queries I personally have!

Final Verdict

*This is indeed a very well thought out oc!

*Thank You and keep hold of the stars!

*Mod Velvet