There’s been so many essay-like posts around tumblr talking about when and where Natsu first realised he was in love with Lucy, but I’ve never actually seen any regarding when Lucy’s feelings started. So I thought I’d share my own opinionated theory!
I feel as though Lucy’s feelings for Natsu took a lot longer for her to realise than Natsu’s, so let’s start from the beginning:
At this point, the story as well as Natsu and Lucy’s relationship is very much in the starting stages; there simply isn’t a whole lot to it. Neither of them have even considered a relationship, especially not with each other. Lucy may have her “knight in shining armour” fantasies, (as we see in ending 1 of the anime), but that is the most we get.
Episode 50 is where things start to get more interesting.
After the hilarious scenario of Lucy believing Natsu has a crush on her because of Mira’s meddling, she has now become self aware of the fact people mistake her and Natsu as a couple. Because of this, she starts to picture it in her mind and perhaps imagine what it would be like if they were in a relationship.
Again, though, this is still very early stages in their development, so she will continue to deny any sort of feelings for Natsu.
The Tenrou Island arc in general was a huge step for NaLu’s relationship, especially on Natsu’s part as that was when (as many of us have speculated) he first realised he was in love with Lucy. Sadly, though, Lucy is nowhere near the love stage at this point.
During Acnologia’s attack in episode 122, Lucy is crying because she thinks it’s all over. Naturally Natsu overhears this, and of course the first thing he does is reassure her that it isn’t the end.
Now, I think the look Lucy gives Natsu after saying this is really significant:
This isn’t a look of love or anything, as I said earlier we’re still far from Lucy being in love with Natsu. Rather, this is her beginning to toy with the idea of liking Natsu. In this moment she cannot confidently say “I like Natsu”, but she is far more aware of it, and knows deep down that there is a slight possibility it could happen. However, at this stage she will still continue to deny any feelings for him.
Episode 123-End of Tartaros Arc
I know this is a really big time jump, but the end of Tartaros is where things start to pick up. Throughout this time, Natsu and Lucy’s characters and relationship develops immensely. I’m not going to dish out every example otherwise we’d be here for weeks, but it’s safe to say Lucy’s feelings have begun to develop, although she is still on the fence of “Do I like him” or “Is he just a friend”.
I’m going to skip the beginning of the Alvarez arc, because I know we’ve all heard the theories and opinions on Lucy’s angst a million times, and although their relationship does develop, it’s not enough for me to talk about. After all, a lot of those chapters illustrated Natsu’s feelings more than Lucy’s.
Chapter 468 is when Lucy’s feelings take a huge step forward. For those unaware, Natsu had gone off on his own, (with Happy), to try and defeat Zeref, and Lucy has basically spent most of her time worrying about him.
A few chapters later, (Chapter 468), Happy returns to the guild, but Natsu is unconscious, and Lucy’s face says it all:
Then she realises that Natsu’s heart isn’t beating:
And begs Brandish to save him:
Natsu being faced with death is the last thing Lucy would expect from a war. After all, he’s one of the strongest wizards she knows. So for him to be lying there in front of her, unconscious and his heart not beating, Lucy is absolutely terrified.
This, ladies and gentlemen, is the point where Lucy realises that she likes Natsu, because she cannot picture a world without him in it. After over a year of contemplation, she has finally reached the conclusion that she likes her best friend, meaning she would gladly consider a relationship with him, if it weren’t for the current circumstances, of course.
She isn’t in love with him yet, she simply wouldn’t mind the idea of a relationship. Of course she will still deny her feelings because she doesn’t want people to know, after all she’s only just figured it out herself, however you will notice she is definitely less upfront about it:
Of course she gets flustered and blushes over it, however she doesn’t explicitly deny it. Now, this could just be a translation error, I don’t have access to official translations, so please don’t quote me on it, but in this frame she’s simply saying that wasn’t what she meant, not that she isn’t, (as quoted by Ever), “head over heels for him”. See, she isn’t denying that she likes him, but she isn’t exactly singing on the rooftops that she has feelings for him. Remember, this is all still very new to her.
Now, throughout the rest of the Alvarez arc, you can see that Lucy is incredibly protective over Natsu:
This protectiveness is Lucy’s feelings developing more and more. She knows that she likes Natsu, and therefore will now be even more worried about the possibility of losing him, and wants to continuously protect him at all costs, as we can see from the screenshots.
Like I said at the beginning of this opinion/theory, Lucy takes a lot longer to comprehend her feelings for Natsu, which is why I believe that she only realises that she is in love with him in the final chapter.
I did a whole other opinion/theory explaining what each NaLu panel in the final chapter means, so I’m not gonna go into loads of detail here. (If you want to read that theory click here #shamelessselfpromo)
ANYWAY, I think the moment Lucy finally realises she loves Natsu is here:
Memories come flooding back to her old jobs with Natsu. All these memories cause this sudden realisation that her feelings for Natsu are far more than just “I like him”. She loves him. She’s spent such a long time toying with her feelings and throwing them back and forth, that shes finally figured out that she can’t keep throwing them around forever. She needs to come to that conclusion and she finally has.
Granted, she has only come to this realisation, so she’s not just going to burst out and say “I love you”, but she does do something equally as meaningful:
She hugs him. I touched on what this hug means in my other theory, so again I’m not going to go into heaps of detail, but I will say this. Lucy is new to romance. As is Natsu. Neither of them are just going to say “I love you” because it just isn’t like them to do something that stereotypical of two people in love. This hug is her way of expressing her love for Natsu.
What happens next is controversial. Every single person has a different opinion on it but I’m just going to say it how I believe it.
Natsu was going to kiss Lucy. You may be asking “well if Lucy loves Natsu why did she stutter and say wait?”. You have to remember and keep in mind that Lucy has only just realised that she is in love with him. Her feelings are all over the place and it is all so new to her. It’s all a big shock and a lot to take in, so of course she’s going to stutter and be all nervous; this is her first time feeling this way about anyone. However, because she is aware that she is in love with him, she doesn’t push him away, she doesn’t try to get out of his grip. Instead, she closes her eyes and opens her mouth. She wants Natsu to kiss her.
Of course we know that there was no kiss, but I think the most important thing here is that she would have gladly accepted the kiss and would not have regretted it, because she is in love with Natsu.
So that’s it! It’s annoying to think that Lucy took painfully longer to realise her feelings than Natsu did, but I truly believe that this was the moment she knew that she was in love with him.
As I said before I’ve never really seen any posts regarding Lucy’s feelings towards Natsu, or if I have they haven’t been in immense detail, so this was really fun to write and figure out!
SU Theory: The Use Of Feeling Blue? - Their Use *IS*Feeling Blue!!
I’m going to start off by saying this is going to sound absolutely insane, but please please hear me out until the end.
That Will Be All starts things off by revealing Blue Diamond, immediately shown crying over the loss of Pink Diamond.
Now that is one stark contrast from what we originally saw of her back in The Answer.
She was hardened then, willing to shatter a gem, even if that gem saved the life of a valued member of her court. Imagine disregarding a selfless act like that? That is ice cold.
But now, she’s broken. Thousands of years later, we learn, after having a taste of her own medicine, that all she does is spend time going back and forth between the Earth and the Zoo.
She abandons her post so much that Yellow had to come check on the zoo to catch her there again, and starts to sing a song to try to make her feel better.
It’s pretty clear that Blue is content mourning Pink forever, even willing to abandon her position as leader to do it. That’s some serious regret.
And when Yellow suggests forgetting about Pink?
Nah. That’s not happening. It’s pretty clear Blue is having serious trouble letting go of the past. She seems to desperately want a do-over.
We’ve seen this character dynamic before.
I suspect the color parallels between Greg/Pearl and Yellow/Blue Diamond in Mr. Greg and this episode are foreshadowing.
Greg is Yellow, and Pearl is Blue. Pearl was unable to let go of the past, unable to get over losing Rose. Blue Diamond can’t accept having lost Pink. Even the names of their lost loved ones is the same name in different languages, it can’t get much more in your face than that really. They even fucking color coded it for us.
Greg helped Pearl move on after having been considered an enemy by Pearl for ages. Yellow Diamond is shown consistently trying to help Blue, doing anything in her power to do so, despite Blue’s clear disdain of Yellow’s efforts.
But that’s where the similarities end, after that we end up with some interesting contrasts:
In Mr Greg, Steven was singing them a song that reminded them they’re all family, and how they needed someone who knew what they’re going through.
But in That Will Be All?
There’s empathy in the song, sure, Yellow understands Blue’s pain, but
She’s lying to herself.
She hasn’t moved on at all. Her repeating of the question ”What’s the use of feeling?” at the end implies she curses her own emotions for being so hard to repress. That’s why she wants to destroy the planet and forget about Pink altogether. They’re not talking anything out, Yellow is trying to push Blue along. Push herself along. She grasps the railing turning away from Blue Diamond as though in shame, here she was claiming to be above it all yet the moment she lets herself remember just a bit, she deteriorates. As though it’s the first time she’s allowing herself to feel anything about Pink’s death in thousands of years.
So the difference is, Steven’s song was about getting closure, while Yellow’s is more about repressing and damning the emotions that she can’t resolve. She was just projecting onto Blue.
That’s not all though.
Greg was able to heal part of the pain of losing Rose by raising Steven, by telling him about his mom, by re-living his memories of his dead wifu with his son. What i mean is, having his son there to share in the pain of missing Rose helped a lot. Helps both of them a lot.
And as for Pearl, whenever she needed to, she could bring up a hologram of Rose and literally re-live her PTSD memories ad nauseum to get them all out of her system. In a way, she did get her do-over. She, at the very least, got to work out how to say goodbye, so that by the time she and Greg squashed the beef, she was ready and could finally move on to Mystery Girl.
But with the Diamonds? it’s a much more tragic picture. Yellow is in denial and wants to rush through/repress her pain and destroy the things that remind her of her loss. She refuses to face it. Blue on the other hand just can’t stop facing it. Not until she gets some sort of closure like Pearl. But that’s impossible, right?
I thought so too, until I heard this line;
Hold the fuck up. Employ????? Blue wants to employ the Rose Quartz line?
ALL OF THEM!??
Why?!? Welp, hold on to your butts;
Yellow Diamond sings two pertinent verses:
“Why would you want to employ her Subjects that destroyed her? Why keep up her silly Zoo? Oh, tell me What’s the use of feeling, Blue?“
“An army has a use They can go and fight a war A Sapphire has a use She can tell you what it’s for An Agate terrifies A Lapis terraforms“
Yellow is juxtaposing the use of the Rose Quartz gems, as well as other gems in their society, with the use of emotions. What has Steven Universe been teaching us this whole time about emotions? What can they help you do?
What else have we seen that heals things?
Blue claims she wants to go to Earth to preserve specimens.
But what if she’s looking for her do-over instead? What if her regret and depression are so deep, they’ve driven her to want to go down to Earth to find Pink’s shards and have the Rose Quartz line, the entire line, cry on them?
Whatever happens, the Rose Quartz line’s healing tears can be used to fix other huge, previously unsolvable problems:
Summary: After months of being ignored, (Y/N) broke under the pressure when Natasha informs her of Buckys secret. Their relationship crumbles but for reasons neither of them know of.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Word count: 2k
Warning:ANGST ANGST ANGST
A/N: Requests are open and I absolutely am open to anything! I love speaking to you guys and receiving any type of feed back so please don’t hesitate to send an ask or message (: TWO IN ONE NIGHT SORRY I MEANT TO POST THIS YESTERDAY
when water is smothered by the flames; langst (klance)
WARNING: implied character death!!!!
Lance loved the sea. Every time the distinct scent of salt drifted through the air, he would search for the familiar sight of rolling ocean waves - the sound of turbulent waves crashing against the shore, or of gentle, rolling, waves softly reaching for the sandy shore and then retreating, ebbing and flowing with the cool nudges of the breeze; the white foam that sealed off the blue sea; the brilliant teal blue that faded into a serene royal blue at the horizon where it met the endless sky. The way the water felt as he propelled himself through it, as if he were suddenly airborne and free, and how the cool, misty, spray felt on his fingers. How he could submerge himself completely and let himself be enveloped by the tremendous weight of the ocean, suspended there while the world around him was silenced, as if in a trance, as if the world had stopped spinning for just a moment. The breathtakingly-beautiful sight of a sunset, the golden sphere bobbing on the ocean, and the clouded sky giving way to twinkling silver stars.
Lance loved the rain. The sound it made as it quietly hit the dry, thirsty sidewalks and made rippling puddles that ran down the sides of the street like a tiny creek. The soothing, steady rhythm tapped out by the pitter-patter on the roof that lulled him to sleep when insomnia wouldn’t rest. The way it slowly dripped down car windows like tears sliding down someone’s cheek. The way it dribbled down umbrellas and slipped into cracks, the weird way it smelled after it rained, and the droplets of dew that clung to grass and spider webs like strings of shiny pearls. The way the stormy gray sky cleared and left a dazzling array of rainbow hues instead. The shallow puddles left behind, reflecting the sky like a million mirrors embedded in the concrete. The splashes that flicked water droplets everywhere as a five-year-old-Lance’s rain boots made contact with the puddles.
And… Lance loved Keith, too.
Keith was like fire. He was too hot to touch, sizzling with intensity and passion. He was quick and confident and fiery, scorching anything that stood in his way. He followed his instincts, and his fists, not his brain. He didn’t think before setting enemies aflame. And he was unpredictable, too.
Yet… there was another side to him that Lance loved the most. The soft, warm, glowing side to Keith. The spark of happiness hidden behind the burning flames that had Lance staring in awe - the way Keith’s laugh lit up his entire face and how his eyes shined with a blinding light that rivaled the sun. He seemed so tender and fragile, and Lance never wanted to put out that light.
But what if Lance did?
Lance was like water. And Lance didn’t know what to do when he encountered fire- it was so different from water, but both were beautiful in their own ways. It was no secret how Lance and Keith clashed. And water never mixes well with fire. It smothers the flame until the only thing left is smoke and ash, and with its last dying breath the fire ignites the brightest before disappearing completely, only a whisper in the wind that is carried away and forgotten.
Lance didn’t want to smother the flame. He didn’t want this to end like all the other relationships where he pushed too far, where he wasn’t gentle enough.
So he pushed Keith out of the way and dove into the fire, pretending he was back in the sea. He remembered how he had never felt more right there in the ocean, so carefree and weightless. He pretended he wasn’t terrified, that he was brave.
And as he swept the trembling little girl off her feet and threw her to Keith, over the burning debris, Lance met Keith’s gaze. He couldn’t hear anything except for the pounding of his heart in his ears, but Lance saw that Keith was yelling, tears spilling from his eyes. Lance barely registered the droplets running down his own cheeks.
He was so incredibly stupid. But Lance couldn’t let Keith die.
So he smiled like always and yelled at Keith to run. And he let the surrounding flames licking at his feet climb higher until he was entirely consumed by the hungry fire that was so similar yet so unlike Keith. Lance was engulfed by regret and heat before it went black.
In the face of a raging fire, Lance was only a single drop of water.
But Lance forgot one thing: Keith was human, too. And humans need water to survive.
Critical Analysis of Why the “Bitch’s Prince” Line was Kinda Hot A brief essay that I’m definitely going to regret posting
Let’s be honest: there are those among us who, though sobbing helplessly since last Thursday, are still thinking sometimes about how, in the fight the week before, Vecna called Vax “bitch’s prince.” (If you didn’t, this probably isn’t the meta for you. Move along. You don’t need to be nosy about other people’s kinks, as analyzed through unnecessarily close reading of an improvised D&D game.)
So, why did half a dozen people double-take in the middle of the liveblogging/chat to feel their cheeks flushing, their minds spiraling? Was it just a particularly well-spat phrase, in a villain’s voice that Matt kept trying and trying and failing to not make sexy? Not quite. The answer, as with many matter of sex, boils down to one thing: power.
See, we’ve heard the Raven Queen called “bitch” before, and would again ere the end. But when Vax did it so pivotally in the tomb in ep45, or when Vex and Keyleth and Percy agree on it later, after his ultimate departure, it is almost respectful in its rudeness and crudity. It is spitting defiance in the face of the literal inevitable, “Take me instead, you raven bitch” - “I acknowledge your divinity but I don’t CARE, I will FIGHT YOU ANYWAY for the one I love.” When Vecna says “bitch”, however, there is no implication of respect, but rather an acid bath of resentment. This is the equivalent of an upper management man sniping about a woman who is more powerful than he, a woman who has worked and fought and coldly taken her way to that power. He says it behind he back, too, rather than to her face as Vax once challenged her - a challenge which is implicitly echoed by VM whenever they subsequently use the appellation, even if they aren’t doing so to her face. And to us, the viewers, used to seeing the Raven Queen as this divine force of death and fate - I mean, that can be hot, too, but so is the connotation of a high-powered executive businesswoman in a black pantsuit and nice blouse, high heels and perfect makeup, who gets called a “bitch” by her wannabe-colleagues because she’s professional and takes no shit, you know? That’s definitely hot. As this analogy indicates, the epithet does succeed in bringing the Matron of Ravens slightly down to earth, not the untouchable goddess but (as we had already begun to see her) a more approachable figure. Ultimately, however, tone and context paint her as a reversal of conventional femininity, and emphasizes the power she wields over others (specifically Vecna), enough to fuel such resentment.
The status of the “bitch” is, of course, reflected in her “prince.” A mere “bitch”, as Vecna attempts to dismiss the Matron of Ravens, wouldn’t be respectable enough to have a “prince.” So, if you accept the truth of "bitch”, “prince” becomes a mocking title, a parody of the power such a title should imply. Vax, thus, is favored, but as nothing more than a prize, a treasure, of the Matron of Ravens. Her favorite pretty piece to show off. To continue the business office analogy: a kept man. (Hot.) And hotter still: simultaneously to appreciating the mockery and implied humiliation/objectification/pride (whatever exactly gets your rocks off about Vax being the Raven Queen’s favorite lovely thing), we appreciate the previously detailed acknowledgement-via-resentment of a “bitch”’s power, and that the “prince” thus does have true power and authority, as her lieutenant. Indeed, in traditional monarchical titling, a Prince would be second only to a ruling Queen, and due to inherit… The inquantifiable “hotness” of the epithet, “prince” specifically, derives from the balance between Vax as the powerless, pretty plaything and Vax as the powerful, trusted second-in-command - a tension strengthened, with the total “bitch’s prince”, by the reference to the power structure the Matron of Ravens upends (bringing Vax with her), and the impotence of Vecna’s slur to really do a damn thing about it.
…Lemme put it a different way: Idk about y'all but the image the phrase conjures in MY head is Vax lounging on a throne in a hall of black marble, a throne beside and half the size of a much larger, more ornate seat, decorated with flashing obsidian, all drawn in the way people used to draw the homestuck kids in AUs where Derse and Prospit were to some degree real kingdoms which they ruled. But that great throne is empty and this smaller one contains a half-elf in some combination of silk and leather that’s, like, formal, but also Sex. A silver circlet on his brow, a cloak of black feathers bound with a raven-head pin at his neck. His eyes rake over the petitioners before him and he drawls, “My Queen did not care enough to see you today, so I speak in her place. So? What do you want?”
Melizbeauty. In every post that’s mainly to her, people call her “she” as if she’s Voldemort like “oh she who must not be nammmed” or they just don’t directly address her at all and I’m gonna address something reaalll fast. (Maybe not fast) Also, do not go to her inbox and start sending insults and death threats, guys..C’mon, as..hopefully good humans, we’re better than that, aren’t we..? Whether you agree with her or not, going to her messages, inbox, etc. and sending horrible and nasty things is..really unnecessary so please don’t.
Edit: I now feel the need to say that you need to read this carefully and understand the points I’m making. This post’s focus is not V and Rika’s relationship. Read everything instead of reading just a small bit and being rude about what I’ve said. I’m trying to be level headed instead of just going off the chain and being a complete douche, so please, understand that before you comment or reblog this.
Summary: You and Sebastian Stan became best friends years ago, on the set of the first Captain America movie, and you couldn’t be happier that you had found someone just as witty and caring as you - but will feelings wiggle their way in and get in between your friendship and happiness?
Word Count: 789
Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader
Warnings: (Throughout) Language
Characters (in order of appearance): Reader, Sebastian Stan
A/N: I started writing this in 2015, and it was v popular on wattpad so I thought, why not make it accessible to my pals on tumblr? pls bare with me as I post the next 12 chapters, and please, as always, let me know what you think!! I love hearing from y’all :)
Anonymous : Jung Kook, Taehyung, Jimin and Suga reaction to you coming home after getting involved in a fight with saesangs after your relationship with them went public? You’re not too badly hurt (just a few scrathes and bruises that’ll heal with time) but you’re quite shaken?
Jungkook : Okay but even if you’re not badly hurt, you’re still hurt and he will not accept it. He’d be so mad omg he would show a whole new side of him. He would directly go to see his managers and all, and make sure that this do not happen ever again. He will apologize at least a hundred of times and would be way more protective from now on.
V/Taehyung : Would stay with you for a very long time, he would take care of your bruises, and let you talk about what happened. He’d be the angry type of guy who would be like “tell me what these freaking persons looked like we’re going to sue them and make them regret laying their dirty hands on you!” He would keep an eye on you from now on, and if the whole sasaeng stuff doesn’t calm down, he’d hire you a bodyguard just to be sure you’ll be okay.
Jimin : He would literally look at you like this when you’d tell him what happened, he wouldn’t talk much after that, he would just hug the shit out of you, and kiss your forehead in a protective manner before telling you that he’ll take care of this. And girl I would feel sad for those sasaeng because they’ll regret their action soon enough, because no one can hurt his girlfriend, no one.
Suga/Yoongi : Yoongi would get really angry that you got hurt because of him, he may let an angry tear fall down, and will take care of the problems himself. First of all he’d apologize to you, asking if you were really okay, if you needed anything. Then he would make a huge ass post talking about the problem and how it’s unacceptable, how those type of persons aren’t considered as fans and that he hate them, and post it everywhere, facebook, fancafe, twitter, so everyone can see it.
Requested : Hi! Could you please write something with “Tell me what they did to you, please.” and Veronica? Maybe with a bullied reader but it’s up to you. Oh and could we use other prompts, too?
[A/N] : hey there! thanks for the ask anon! well not so anonymous hehe.. don’t worry i won’t tell anyone your identity and i won’t post the ask. I’m sorry i made cheryl an asshole, but i couldn’t find anyone else… oh, and yes, you can request anything but im not very comfortable in doing smut, thanks!
Anonymous asked: Hi I love late nights BTW. Can you write a bts scenario (can be with any member) where he’s popular and you’re an outcast yet you guys are best friends anyways. You have a crush on him and you confess to him hut he rejects you, revealing that he has a girlfriend. His girlfriend starts bullying you because she hates you and she lies to her bf about it. Soon he starts distancing himself from you and you feel lonely. You can figure how the ending goes. :)))
Title: Mistakes & Regrets (V/Taehyung) Genre: Angst, fluff (?) Words:1776 Warning: Slight depiction of parasuicide and violence A/N: I’m sorry this took long, lovelies. It was hard to think of a scenario but I got a brain fart recently so here goes! Anyway, it’s not that the same but I hope you’ll still like it. Enjoy!
You were harshly pushed against the locker. The pain stung on your back and you grimace.
“Worse things happen to people like you, you know,” Mina snickers and throws a punch at your stomach. For a pretty girl, this was unexpected but you knew better. You were her best friend, three months ago. You were always behind her, watching other kids beg for mercy.
Now you weren’t in the background. You were the puppet. You didn’t even dare to beg for mercy, you knew what you did. You goddamned confessed.
“Mina…” you groan once she stops the punches.
“Aww, is our little whore apologising?” she gives a bitter laugh as she slams a hand beside you, making your ears feel weird.
“I’m not…” you start to defend yourself but give up.
“You are.” she says, glaring daggers at you.
You weakly look at her.
“You…you tried to steal my boyfriend. Now, look what you made me do (Taylor Swift!), Y/N.“ she backs away, raising her arms. You wince not because of the pain but because of the memory of it all.
“My own best friend,” she growls. “After all these years, it comes down just because of a boy.”
“I’m sure you never expected him to tell me,” she laughs and bends down to pick your scattered papers. Mina starts tearing it one by one. You didn’t care already. “Because let’s face the facts, I’m not under the shadows like you. I’m not some submissive shit like you.”
That’s the last you hear before she slams your head hard on the locker. You crumple down the floor and your former best friend walks away. Your consciousness drifts away. You wished it would be like this forever.
You lost a lot these past three months. You lost two friends because you made a confession. What did you really expect? Him to leave her for you?
“Ready?” your mom looks at you from the driver’s seat. You look uninterested and fumble with your fingers. You hated talking to your shrink. He kept pestering you to take your meds and stop with the homeschooling.
“Y/N, ready?” your mom repeats and her worried tone pull you back. You hated making her worry. You hated the memory of her tear-stained face when you opened your eyes. You hated that you survived from your attempted suicide. You tried to kill yourself by overdosing. It didn’t work, you remember. Someone entered your house in time to rush you to the hospital. You didn’t remember who, though.
After the thirty-minute session with your shrink, you decided to wander around the hospital. You aimlessly walk around, until you see a figure walking towards you. Out of all the figures you have encountered, something about him made you look up and stare at him a bit longer.
Then, you recognise the perfectly chiselled face, the pink lips, the eyes. Taehyung.
You were too late. Taehyung ran in front of you. What was he doing here? Everything around you radiated anger. You were pissed off at him. You hated that he had to break your friendship with Mina. You hated that he had to make you an outcast after rejecting you. Taehyung was pain itself.
You bowed your head and started to run off but he grabs your shoulder. You stiffen at this but your heart rebelliously beats hard. Why did you still like him after everything?
“Y/N…” he says, you slowly turn around and his arm falls beside him. Touching your shoulder left a cold feeling in Taehyung’s hand.
What was he going to do now?
“Yes,” you say, forcing a smile. I’m fine, you mentally tell yourself.
Taehyung was taken aback by this. He suddenly realised how much he missed your smile. How much he missed the sound of your laughter echoing around the halls whenever he told you the cheesiest joke.
“Are you just wasting my time?” you say, your anger was showing. You didn’t care anymore. You were tired of caring anymore.
“N-no. What are you doing here?” he says, suddenly becoming curious. Sometimes, Taehyung felt like he had ADHD.
“You?” you say, also curious. Surely, Taehyung didn’t need help. He couldn’t be like you.
“My grandmother…” he scratches the back of his head.
You nod knowingly, “Okay. Bye.” You turn around and start for the exit. You had to get out. Fast.
“Wait, Y/N!” he runs reaching for your hand but once he got close enough, you pull it and face him again. He abruptly stops.
“Just leave, okay. You’ve done so much damage in my life, I need you to leave.” you firmly say, holding back tears. You leave Taehyung’s crestfallen face and you turn around and walk as fast as you can. You hated that your mom wasn’t there to fetch you. You walk a few miles away from the hospital when you hear a familiar female voice shout your name.
“Y/N!” Mina says as you turn to see the owner of the voice. “Is that you?”
You froze. Everything inside you said ‘Run’ but your body wasn’t following.
“My…you’ve grown,” she snickers. There were boys and girls behind her and they looked dangerous. You stiffen. Why was everyone walking into you?
“Huh? No greetings? No hellos? No ‘How are you’s?” she gives a sarcastic face.
You only give a whimper.
“Idiot. Stupid. Whore.” Before you knew it she was punching you in the face, repeating those three words. Her companions were cheering. You remember when you used to be one of them but you didn’t cheer or anything. You just watched.
You fell on the ground and you use your palm to hold your weight. You could feel blood trickling from your nose. Another mess, you had to clean before your mom comes home. Another lie to make.
Mina walks near you to throw a punch again but a hand stops her. You look up to see Mina with a horrified expression. She was looking at Taehyung who had a hard expression. You’ve never seen him this angry before, it was a bit unnerving.
“We’re over. Leave,” he says, letting go of Mina.
Mina trembles and reach for him but he backs away, “Taehyung, please. Let me explain.”
“So…it was you all along,” he bitterly laughs. “It was you who always left her on the halls. It was you who posted all those threats on her locker. You promised, Mina. You promised.”
“Tae…jagi,” she whimpers, her mistake suddenly getting heavier and heavier. Regret rushes through her.
“Mina, you promised you’d change. You promised that if I leave Y/N. If I gave her the cold shoulder…If I reject her…” he says. Regret fills him too. How could he be so blind? How could he have traded his feelings for you for some…promise?
“Leave. LEAVE.” Taehyung angrily says making Mina run away with her companion. Taehyung sighs at them and bends to help you stand up. He sits you on a bench nearby and cautiously sits beside you.
Both of you stare in front of you. You let the earlier conversation sink into you. You couldn’t believe it. Your feelings were mixed and you didn’t know what to do next.
“Thanks,” you softly say as to you really not knowing what to do or say.
“Oh…uh, welcome,” Taehyung becomes an awkward mess too. He looks at you and his eyes widen, “You’re nose is bleeding!”
His expression makes you giggle, “I know, I know. I’m fine.”
“No, you aren’t,” Taehyung scoops you over and carries you. You giggle and blush at this. Everything felt silly. Taehyung saving you from Mina brought back the feeling of comfort and safety inside you. Warmth bubbled inside you.
You let Taehyung carry you over to a startled nurse and he explains the situation. The nurse gestures the two of you over at an empty room that looked like a clinic. She attends to you and cleans off your nose and your bruises before leaving the two of you alone.
“I’m…sorry, Y/N,” Taehyung carefully says. He really was sorry. He regretted everything. He hated it.
You give a faint smile, “It’s okay. Not really…but I feel okay right now. Thanks.”
Silence falls between the two of you.
“I see a shrink, that’s why I was at that hall.” you break the silence. “I overdosed…you know. I just couldn’t take the guilt of taking you away from Mina. I couldn’t take the guilt of betraying her.”
“I know,” Taehyung lowers his head and you look at him.
“I know you overdosed,” he says. Your eyes widen and everything around you freezes. Was he…? Was he the one who brought you to the hospital? “I was there. I’m sorry I didn’t step up to see that as a sign of your suffering. I’m so so so sorry, Y/N.”
“You saved me twice, Tae,” you whisper. Louder, “But you left me a lot of times. I don’t know what to do.”
“Do you know how it felt to be alone? How it felt to lose your friends because of something you couldn’t prevent? Do you know how it felt to want to end your life? How it felt to be so cold from the loneliness?” you say, tearing up. The weight of everything was suddenly loosening. “I was so alone, Tae. I needed someone but everyone ran away from me. Everything felt so heavy, Tae. It hurt me so much. It was even more painful than overdosing myself or cutting myself. Everything hurts…”
You break down and Taehyung stands up to gather you in his arms and rub your back. He hums softly and lets you cry on his shoulder. You were happy that someone was finally offering a shoulder. That someone actually cared for you. You couldn’t actually comprehend the fact that someone was hugging you.
“If I had known…Y/N. If I had known…I wouldn’t have made those mistakes. I’m sorry,” he says and you bury your head in his shoulder. Taehyung felt terrible. If he had liked you back, why didn’t he reject Mina’s offer? Why didn’t he think of that?
“Y/N…you could always lean on me. You can tell me everything. I’ll be here for you,” he says when you break the hug and look at him. You smile through your tears and nod at this, “Me too, Tae. Me too. I’ll be here for you.”
If he could turn back time–if he had made a different choice–he would have been the best guy for you.
He smiles back at you and wipes your tears with the cuff of his sleeve and hugged you tightly again, silently vowing to never let you go again.
EXO’s Reaction to someone walking in on you and them ;)
GIFS: Credits go to the GIF creators and owners. I do
not own the GIFS (unless stated), just the ideas.
*Finds the closest thing to him (a half full water bottle) and flings it as hard as he can towards the entrance of his room*
“3 seconds. You have 3 seconds to leave before something else is thrown next. That water bottle may have skimmed your head, Baekhyun, but I promise you this lamp sure as hell won’t.”
*Not even facing the person, asks himself why he left the door unlocked*
“I thought I locked it…I’m sure I did…Did I?*
*Meanwhile, Jongdae slowly backed up, making sure to lock the door before going to stare at the wall*
*Smirks because he knows he made you scream loud enough to have someone hear but then considers how you might feel now that someone burst in. Covers your body in a blanket while he stares at the person*
“Yeah, you guys see me as a soft cutie…but..”
*Internally, he’s embarrassed but externally, his defense mechanism came forth*
“There are two doors that you can take. One is to leave my room, and the other is out of this dorm. I suggest the second one. Go that way.”
*Stops and starts to give a small lecture to the intruder*
“The polite thing to do when you need to tell someone something is to knock on the door. Barging in can lead you to be in a situation like this. It’s awkward for both parties, now go and study what you just learned.”
*Pauses what he’s doing and questions why the person decided to barge in*
“You heard someone screaming in here and thought they were in trouble? Someone is screaming, but not from pain, ;). Leave.”
*Decisions = Regretted*
“*Internally* Why why why why why why why why why why why…. *Externally* Get out. Get out now.”
*Will lose it for a second before making Chanyeol leave. Lets out the biggest yell when said person left the door wide open. He just stares at the door until Chanyeol came back to close it.*
*Blinks at he person standing at his door in silence*
“I’m sort of, kind of, extremely busy right now. You’ve seen enough, go.”
So! I changed my updating schedule, I’ll try to post every Wednesday and Saturday from now on. I know just Saturday is a long wait. Leave a request for something, I dunno.
Here it is. In response to this post I have searched deep through my Wattpad fanfictions to find the first one that I have ever made. I regret ever making that post as I cringe reading through this fanfic as I post it onto tumblr. So, in my exact words, here is my first fanfic:
This is an idea I came up with the other day. It’s fanfiction for the book, Carry On, when Simon and Baz were still at Watford. I have never written fanfiction before, so let me know what you think of it!
Characters belong to Rainbow Rowell. These are not my original characters.
“Truth or Dare?” I ask to Penelope. We are sitting on the grassy lawn of Watford School of Magicks, playing a friendly game of truth or dare. It’s just me and Penny. Agatha was here, but soon decided to leave after an embarrassing question came up. Penny is ruthless.
“I dare you to… skip all of your classes for a day,” I say. I know it’s a stupid dare, but Penny is really into her studies. For her, that’s like saying she can’t eat for a week. She lives and breathes everything school related.
“What!! NO!! MY MOM WOULD KILL ME!!”
“It’s just one day. It’s not like you would miss that much.”
“But, it’s a whole day!”
“Whatever. My turn.”
“Fine. Truth or Dare?”
“Dare!” I sit impatiently, waiting for her to bring her wrath down on me for the last dare.
“I dare you…”
“Spit it out, women.” She starts to giggle. It must be bad. Penny never giggles.
“I dare you to go into your room…”
“My god, you’re driving me crazy!”
“I dare you to go into your room and kiss Baz.”
“You heard me. Go into your room and kiss Basilton Grimm-Pitch.”
“You have got to be kidding me. No.”
“Then, I won’t do your dare.”
“I–but–um–fine! I’m going!” I say, storming off. Penelope smirks behind me. Ugh, this is going to be horrible. And interesting. I try to figure out how I’m going to do this. It’s not like I can barge in and just randomly kiss him out of the blue. I can’t believe I agreed to this. What will Baz think? I decide it’s better not to think about the after effects and focus on how I’m going to get there. By the time I get to the door, I have a vague idea, but not much I can move off of. Darn it Penny! Why do you have to come up with such good dares? I should have left with Agatha. Here goes nothing…
I walk in, trying to act as normal as possible. Baz is sitting at the desk, studying for our next exam. Typical. I close the door, but “accidentally” slam it. Baz jumps.
“Jesus Snow! Close the door like a normal person!”
“Sorry, I just–um…” WHAT DO I DO NOW!! Stupid Penny, this is more complicated than you think.
“Spit it out Snow!”
“I–well–um–” He stands up. His midnight black hair is perfectly smooth back and his school uniform is perfectly pressed and fits him in all the right ways. I collapsed onto my bed and he fixes his stormy grey eyes on me and his mouth twisting into a sneer.
“Use your words, Snow!” He is close enough that I can feel his hot breath on my face. This is going better than I could’ve hoped. I start to lean in. I see his eyes start to flutter closed. Wow, I am so close. Take that, Penny!
I was staring at words for hours. I didn’t know what else to do. There is literally nothing I could do other than study today. Then, Snow barges in our room like a crazy person, but I can tell it was with purpose. He’s planning something. What could he be planning. I can see uncertainty is is crystal clear blue eyes, but also something… I don’t know, a little mischievous. What is he planning? What is he going to do. I can tell it’s directed at me. There is no other explanation. Now I know what he feels all of the time. He’s plotting something, but what?
His eyes have me transfixed. They always have. Ever since I met him. I creep closer to him. I find his gaze fixing on my eyes as he tries to muster the words to create an actual sentence. His eyes drift to my lips. Oh, god. Please tell my fantasies aren’t becoming true? I feel like I’m blushing, yet I know that it’s probably very faint because of the whole vampire thing. But, I still start to feel self-conscious. He leans forward a little and I stay there uncertainly, my eyelids starting to droop as I give in. I feel a tug at my neck and notice that he is tugging on my green and purple school tie. Before I can even register anything, his lips are on mine and we are locked in a fierce kiss.
I’m kissing Simon Snow. Simon freakin’ Snow.
I can’t say how many times I’ve imagined this, but it’s even better than I could ever imagine. We click together like magnets and fit together smoothly. I passionately press against him and pull him towards me, not wanting this to end. I grip the back of his shirt tightly, wanting to make sure this is real. Wanting to make sure this is acutally happening. I’ve dreamed about this so long. How do I know it’s not a dream.
I’m kissing Simon Snow.
I don’t know how it happened, but soon we are both on my bed. Baz keeps going at me, pressing harder, kissing fiercer. He has a tight grip on the back of my shirt, as if he’s afraid to let go. I no longer seem to have control of the situation. It was just supposed to be a short, tiny kiss, but it seems it has turned into more that that, and I’m not sure what I feel. It’s nothing like when I kissed Agatha.
Of course it isn’t. Agatha is a girl. Your kissing a boy. And not just any boy.
I’m kissing Baz.
There’s so much passion in Baz, I’m afraid to break away and tell him it was just a dare. How could something so simple turn into something so… what’s the word… extraordinary. I feel a burning sensation starting at my lips and warming up my whole body. My magic even seems to be on edge and is tempted to leak out of me like a water fountain.
But, I’m kissing Baz? This isn’t Agatha. This feels…
I push him away. He stands there, looking bewildered. I’m scared for what’s going to happen next. Should I say it?
“You–” he says, breathing heavily. I worry that he’s going to yell at me, then I remember that it was supposed to be sort of a joke anyway. Just a joke. It’s not more than that… Is it?
“Don’t know how long–” he continues breathlessly, smiling stupidly, “I have been waiting to do that.” I feel my eyes start to widen. Oh, god! I really screwed up this time, didn’t I? Stupid Penelope! Now I have to tell him it was a dare and hurt his– or do I? I don’t know how to explain this, but that felt so right. But, it’s Baz. How can I–why?
“Um–well–I–um–it–” Come on, Simon. Say something. You can’t just leave him hanging there.
“I didn’t realize I wanted to too…” I say. It is, technically speaking, the truth.
“I–um– I should go,” I say, bursting out into the hallway. I start to breath heavily. I think I’m hyperventilating. Are those black dots starting to cloud my vision? What is happening to me? The world starts to melt to black. Before darkness consumes me, all I can think is, I kissed Baz… And I liked it.
What in freak just happened? Did I–did we just–? I can’t do this. This is all so confusing! I go back and sit on my bed, head in my hands. Was he just saying that? Surely not, surely he saw the fireworks they always talk about. But what if he didn’t. That’s my biggest fear. What if I made a fool out of myself? I don’t know what to do anymore. I stare at my hands when I hear a thump at the door. What could that be?
I open it to see an unconscious person on the floor with blonde hair that I definitely recognized. Snow. If what happened didn’t just happen, I’m pretty sure I would have laughed in his face. The Great Chosen One, fainting. But, I don’t think it will help the situation if I leave him there. I drag him onto his bed and leave him there because I have no idea what to do. What should I do?
When I wake up, I can immediately tell it’s morning. Baz has already left for breakfast. Was it all a dream? It doesn’t feel like it, but surely it was a dream, right? That can’t happen in real life.
Baz’s lips on mine. The absolute rightness of the situation.
It had to be a dream.
I walk to breakfast. I sit at my normal spot with Penelope and Agatha. I sneak a glance at Baz, but he seems to look anywhere but at me. It was a dream. It had to be. I turn my attention to my breakfast. As I dig into the school’s delicious scones, I hear Penelope whisper ever so softly into my ear.
“So… did you do it?” she asks. It was real. I did do it, but knowing Penny, she probably wants details. And I am not prepared to tell her that it was the greatest and most thrilling experience I have ever had.
“No,” I whisper back. It was real.
I kissed Baz, and I loved it.
Are y’all happy now? XD *crawls in a corner and cries*
marco please can you explain your opinion on "tug of war" by paul? It's mclennon af but I just wanted to know your opinions on it! btw ilu & your blog looks hella fancy !
This song is beautiful. And in my opinion it’s like Paul, after John’s death, is trying to look at their relationship from another point of view.
He’s not simply singing about his personal feelings towards John here, like he does in Here Today, he’s talking about what THEY both felt, and what they probably could have done together if John hadn’t died.
When he sings:
We expected more But with one thing and another We were trying to outdo each other In a tug of war
it makes me think of the 70s period, when with their little fights and angry songs written for each other, they were fighting a silly war and didn’t realise how stupid it was.
While in the second verse I feel that Paul dreams to sing and play with John when they’ll reunite in the afterlife:
In a time to come In a time to come we will be Dancing to the beat played On a different drum
Something that they surely planned to do but never had the chance to reunite. Then sings that he shouldn’t complain about it, even if he can’t let this feeling go. The feeling of regret, that he was unable to clarify with John and come back to him in time, before his death.
Though I know I mustn’t grumble It’s a tug of war But I can’t let go
And I love how he ends the song, saying that maybe one day people will discover what their relationship was really about.
In years to come they may discover What the air we breathe and the life we lead Are all about