let's make it 7

Why are You like this?

Hi friends! 

Plot: Y/N feels overwhelmed and doesn’t know how to let her Harry know.

I combined my own idea with a request about H hearing Y/N admit something over the phone. 

Hint before reading: Take a moment and think of that one thing that’s overwhelming you right in this moment, the one thing that makes your stomach feel sick and the one thing that keeps you up at night. Okay now you can read it.

Pic isn’t mine but I like to think that it is.

“Are you sure everything’s alright?” 

My throat dried when I allowed my eyes to meet with his sparkling green orbs and the pure worry in them made it difficult not to tear up. With a deep breath I forced myself to smile. 

“Everything is fine, Harry,” I promised him, my tone just sweet enough for it to cover up the lie, “It was a long day.”

“Again?” Harry inquired quietly. 

“Again.” I tried to laugh but got up to walk to the kitchen when I failed.

Ever since the beginning of this week there had been a heavy and uncomfortable feeling settled at the bottom of my stomach making me feel so sick at times I believed I would vomit. 
But I couldn’t let it show. 

“Do you want some tea?” I called towards him.

“Sure, yeah. Thanks, beautiful.”

With trembling fingers I reached for the kettle and I closed my eyes in hopes of calming down enough to keep my distraught emotions a secret. And what better than a hot cup of tea?
There was nothing I loved more than spending time with Harry and if I could I would have him near me at all times. I felt myself long for him when he was gone, fantasized about being in his presence when I wasn’t and when I had him I felt at peace. Momentarily. Harry made me feel warm and without knowing it he’d become the only person who managed to decorate my face with an honest smile. We hadn’t been dating for long, only a couple of months, and it was true that we were happy. Never before had I felt this close to another person, never before did I trust somebody with my whole heart and no one had ever understood me the way that Harry did.
Harry was my everything. 
And still I couldn’t find it in me to trust him with my worried mind. 

It wasn’t that I thought Harry wouldn’t be kind. I knew if I were to tell him that I couldn’t find any peace and that not even the nights provided me with rest, he would try all he could to be supportive. 
What held me back from confiding in him was how utterly ridiculous I felt. Harry had so much going on in his life, he was under constant pressure and given even more from all sides and all at once and still he never uttered as much as one word in complaint. 
Me? I felt like crying when dealing with what was so minor compared to other people’s problems. 
How could I possibly admit this without making a fool of myself?

“Y/N?” I heard Harry’s voice call for me. 

My breath hitched and I quickly finished both of our teas. “Coming!”

Hearing my friend’s voice over the speaker of my phone relaxed me. At least a little. Kat hadn’t had the time to talk properly in a while due to her job taking up a lot of space in her life and selfishly it felt good to hear that I wasn’t the only person who wasn’t having the best week. 

“So anyway,” Kat spoke, “Things took a turn to the better when the guy I told you about showed up again. I think he recovered form the flu or something.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

She chuckled. “I bet your day gets better the moment you have Harry around to comfort you.” 

“Well,” I sighed, “Having him around does bring me joy.” 

When my voice quivered I knew I messed up.

Kat cleared her throat. “What’s the matter? Does he not understand or what?”

“I’m sure he would,” I muttered. 

“Meaning?”

I didn’t reply. Kat laughed breathlessly. 

“You seriously didn’t tell him? Y/N, he’s your boyfriend! And if I receive text after text about how shitty everything is going for you then something really must be up.”

A lump formed in my throat and I let out a small whine. “I don’t know how to talk to him about this thought.”

“Why not?”

I shrugged even though she couldn’t see. “Harry has so much going on in his life. Never does he get a break not even on his days off. How could I burden him with my stupid and silly problems when his mind is full of much more important things?”

“Because he’s your boyfriend!” Kat repeated. 

“Is that your answer to everything?”

“In a relationship it’s about being there for each other,” Kat lectured, ignoring my words, “You support him constantly. It’s time you let him do the same for you.”

My head snapped up at the noise of my front door opening and then falling shut. 

“Y/N? You home, baby?” My heart fluttered at his voice.

“That’s Harry,” I quickly informed Kat, “I got to go.”

With fast steps I walked further into the bedroom and away from where I could hear Harry moving closer towards me.

“Of course,” Kat said and I could hear the smile in her voice, “Just remember. You have to be honest with Harry and tell him how you feel. Otherwise you’re being unfair to him.”

“I know,” I agreed lowly, “I know you’re right.”

Harry’s knuckles lightly knocked onto the wooden door and I turned around to look at him with a smile growing on my face. He looked insanely good. His hair was tousled from the clod wind I knew was tormenting outside, his upper body adorned a thick jumper and his legs were forced into much too tight jeans which to my benefit left little to the imagination. 

“Hey,” I breathed.

“Hi.” His voice was quiet and I shuddered when the smile on his face didn’t reach his beautiful eyes. 

I walked over to him and reached for his arm. “I’m just going to finish this call really quickly, okay? Then I’m all yours.”

“S’okay,” Harry said and shrugged off my touch, “I just came over to return the shirt you left at my place the other day. M’actually bit busy so I’m just going to head out again.”

My heart sank. “I thought you would stay tonight?” 

Harry nodded towards the phone in my palm. “You should’t let your friend wait, Y/N. Wouldn’t want you to be unfair to anybody, right?” 

And with that he turned around, out of my reach and towards the exit. The shirt he’d brought me was carelessly thrown onto the mattress and I watched him leave with tears already burning my eyes. What the hell had just happened?

“Y/N? You still there?” 

Kat’s voice ripped me back from my thoughts and I quickly told her that I was fine and needed to go. Then I hung up. 
Great. Now not even my relationship was something I could find comfort in. There was no point in running after him as I new Harry moved fast and since he’d arrived by car I was sure he must be long gone. With my palms ice cold, my legs weak and my stomach in knots I sat down on the bed I’d thought I would be spending the night with Harry on, feeling the most uncomfortable and unhappy and in in general at a low I hadn’t reached before.
There was no way I could hold back the tears from burning my cheeks and soon I was a sobbing mess, laying alone on the cold fabric of my bed.

From Harry, 7:20pm.
I’m sorry I left like that, love. How about I come back over and we spend the night together like we planned? x

From Harry, 7:22pm. 
Don’t ignore me now. I know I was being harsh. A bit of a dick actually and I wanna make up for that. Please let me, baby. xx

From Harry, 7:23pm. 
I heard your conversation with Kat. 

With puffy eyes I stared at the three messages. I breathed in shakily and shook my head before picking up the device to reply. There was no way I could face him when I was like this. I felt ashamed enough as it is and couldn’t bear the thought of letting my boyfriend see me in this weakened state.

From Y/N, 7:30pm.
It’s okay, Harry, no worries. I’m a bit tired though. Don’t think that hanging out tonight is a good idea. I’m sorry. x

From Y/N, 7:33pm.
If you want we could meet up tomorrow?

Teardrops smeared the screen and I brushed them off quickly in order to read Harry’s reply. My heart sank even further upon reading it.

From Harry, 7:34pm.
If that’s what you want.

It was what I’d wanted. Still, my chest crumbled and the room filled once more with desperate and loud cries as I let it sink in that I’d successfully driven Harry away. A shaking palm clasped over my mouth as I attempted to somehow quieten the noises of my breakdown as I didn’t want to alarm my neighbours. 
What was I supposed to do? What was I to tell him tomorrow? That was if he even wanted to see me.
My eyes were sore, my throat dry and slowly but surely everything began to hurt. Really ache. 

My entire body froze and I forced myself to calm down long enough to make sure I hadn’t heard wrong. No. There was once again the distinct sound of somebody knocking on my front door. Oh god please no. I scrambled to my feet with hurried movements and came to a tumbling stand. With harsh movements I brushed the tears from my smeared cheeks. 

“Y/N.” It was quiet but I heard and my heart began to pound heavily in my chest. What was he doing here?

“Harry?” I asked, my voice small and trembling weakly. 

I sniffled noisily and tried to steady my breath. 

“Course it’s me, love,” Harry hummed, his voice gentle, “Mind opening the door for me? Letting me in, sweetheart?”

“Harry, I really don’t think-”

“I hear it, baby,” he spoke softly, “You’re crying.” His voice sounded so sad, so empty of the anger it held earlier. 

The pet names spoken with so much affection, the gentleness in his words and tone… I couldn’t fight any longer. 
With uncertain fingers I unlocked my front door and before I could turn the handle I had Harry’s arms wrapped around my waist as he forced his way into my apartment. 
Breathing in his scent as I nestled my face into the warm space between his shoulder and his neck, one of my hands wound itself into his short curls while the other clasped the back of his neck. Harry’s arms tightened around my body, bringing me impossibly close to his chest as he pushed the both of us further inside. I didn’t see but I heard him shut the door with his foot. 

“Harry,” I whimpered, trying desperately to step away from him, worried that the endless stream of tears would mess up his jumper. 

“No.” Harry’s embrace was tight. He ignored my protest and instead hoisted me up higher so that he could carry me to the couch in my small living room. 

I was full on sobbing by this point, my desperation only increasing when he let go of me after making me sit on the couch. My arms were taken into his hands and I turned my head away when he crouched down. 

“Y/N, look at me.”

I shook my head, a whimper escaping my parted lips. Harry’s hands moved gently, his fingers drew circles onto my skin. Normally the gesture was enough to calm me down but not today. I felt utterly embarrassed and I knew that Harry slowly began to realize too that this wasn’t just a small and simple break down. 
This was me, crumbling after having suffered under too much pressure for too long. This was me truly breaking down and falling apart right in front of his eyes.
I gasped upon feeling him press his face into my open palms. 

“My sweet girl,” Harry breathed into my hands, “Tell me if there is something that I can do for you, you hear?”

“There- there’s no-nothing, Harry.” I swallowed shakily and stared at the back of his head. 

Slowly he looked up at me, green eyes wide, kind and patient. His warm hands clasped mine and my breath hitched when his heart shaped lips pressed a loving kiss to them. 

“That’s okay, too,” he reassured, “In that case I will just do what I think you need right now, yeah? And if you want something different you tell me.” 

He waited for me to nod, a small smile gracing his lips. Harry got to his feet quickly and immediately I was scooped back into his arms and brought to his chest. I hiccuped and Harry chuckled. 
His body settled onto the couch and I gasped when he placed my own body right on top of his, my back pressed to his chest. His face settled into my neck and I shuddered upon feeling his warm breath. One of Harry’s arms wrapped around my middle while he gently touched my forehead with his other hand, making me rest my head on his shoulder. 
I sighed and turned so I could nudge his neck with my nose. Next a blanket was pulled over my form, making sure that I was warm. 

“Harry,” I whispered into his skin. 

He intertwined our legs together before kissing my cheek. 

“No more crying,” he said lowly, chest rumbling against my back, “It breaks my heart to see you like this. Which doesn’t mean that I want you to ever keep it from me again when you feel this way.”

The terrible knot at the bottom of my stomach loosened and the longer I breathed him in the more I could feel my heart relax. My breathing slowed, the tears slowly ceased from falling. My own arms wrapped around his and our hands found each other. 

“I’m sorry,” I apologized against his skin.

He shook his head and squeezed me. “No, no, my love. S’not what I want. You don’t have to apologize for anything. All I want is that you trust me. That you know that I’m here. Always.”

“I want to see you.” 

Careful not to hurt him I turned to lay on my stomach, my body pressed tightly against his chest and I leaned up to press a kiss to his soft skin of his chin. 
Harry groaned lowly at the sensation. 

“You’re my girlfriend,” Harry murmured, his hands rubbing up and down my back, “You can lean on me. Confide in me. Don’t want hear that you’re unwell and hiding it.”

I hummed.

“Are you comfortable?” I wondered quietly, referring to his position.

“Very,” he assured me with a nod, cheekily grabbing my bum and giving it a squeeze. 

I swatted his chest with a laugh and he removed his hands and settled them onto my hips instead. I found it hard to believe that having my body sprawled out on top of his was in any way comfortable but in this moment I knew there was nothing other than being in his arms that would heal my tormented mind.

“S’embarrassing though,” I admitted quietly, my unsure eyes finding his. 

“S’not,” he argued, “S’part of being in a relationship. I’m yours, you’re mine and we’re both there for each other.”

I liked how natural his words sounded. How much sense they made.

“But,” I began, “what I’m dealing with is so stupid and you-”

“And I’m never too busy to take care of you just like I trust in you always being there when I really need you. And nothing that makes you cry is stupid to me.”

Harry smiled kindly and I could feel myself doing the same. Gently I reached up to cup his cheek and a tiny gasp escaped my mouth before his lips found mine in a loving kiss. Instantly I melted into him. 
His hands held me close, my own scratched his cheek while the other held onto his hair and for the first time all week I felt like I could truly breath. Harry’s presence took over all of my senses as I cuddled myself even more into his embrace. We continued to kiss until my lungs burned and this time when I teared up it was because my heart couldn’t hold the amount of happiness. 

“Why are you like this?” I whispered, staring at my handsome boyfriend with wonder in my eyes. 

He smiled and pressed another kiss to my temple. “Because you’re important to me. I need you to know that, love.”

“I do. Thank you so much, Harry. And I care about you, too. So much.”

Another kiss followed to my lips before Harry drew back to rub his nose against mine in a heartbreakingly sweet gesture. 

Hope you liked this! Wrote it in one go so apologizes for any mistakes. Also, if any of you are dealing with something shitty at the moment I have my fingers crossed for you and know you’ll be alright. x

The rest of my writing: 
Masterlist

A+ healers 10/10 would recommend 

10

“In every exchange, Obi-Wan gave ground. It was his way. And he knew that to strike Anakin down would burn his own heart to ash. [..] This was not Sith against Jedi. This was not light against dark or good against evil; it had nothing to do with duty or philosophy, religion or morals. It was Anakin against Obi-Wan. Personally. Just the two of them, and the damage they had done to each other  […] The man he faced was everything Obi-Wan had devoted his life to destroying: Murderer. Traitor. Fallen Jedi. Lord of the Sith. And here, and now, despite it all… Obi-Wan still loved him.  [..] There was one thing he still could do for Anakin. He still could do honor to the memory of the man he had loved, and to the vanished Order they both had served.” (Revenge of the Sith novelization)

10

└ Caster’s dorkiness + DoS’ adoring glances

Cr: JAL CM Making of 13.05.2017

honestly the one thing you can always count on for teen wolf is the lack is continuity bc liam & etc were freshmen when ot3/4 were juniors so how tf are they gonna be seniors when scott hasn’t even started college yet ??!!! also i’m all for stiles being at the FBI but you gotta be at least 23 and have a college degree so ?? also i still love this show but if it could sense for one fuckin minute that would be great

Nct 127's reaction to their s/o being upset because they don't kiss her

Request: NCT dream or 127 reaction to their girlfriend getting pouty and whiny when they don’t kiss her

A/N: my heart is weak for this, it’s so cute aw- and i decided to do 127 unit, i hope you don’t mind!

——

Taeil:

Would apologise right away and feel bad but at the same time, find it cute that you wanted his kisses so badly. You’d catch him smiling slightly to him when you pout, but he does it so lowkey you hardly ever notice. But he finds it super cute that you get clingy like these at times and becomes 10× more affectionate to you, often showering you with hugs after you start whining or pouting.

“aw someone’s whiny today”

“i havent seen you in a week, i miss you and your kisses :-(”

“come here, i’d give you all the kisses you want”

Originally posted by taeiloves

Johnny:

Adores it A LOT, and likes to tease you about it. Ends up giggling and smiling to himself because he finds it cute how you get upset over these small little things, and he feels loved and appreciated because he knows you love his kisses. His teasing could go on forever but he eventually always gives in because he’s soft for your pouting.

“ooo someone’s upset she can’t kiss me”

“shut up johnny”

“well if you want kissed you must be able to reach me first”

“you’re so mean-”

“/leans down quickly to peck your lips/”

Originally posted by nakamotens

Taeyong:

Becomes a shy ball and would be a little flustered at first, but internally he’d also find it funny as he’s the pouty and whiney one most of the time. Softens right away and like Taeil, would become even more affectionate than before. Although he doesn’t show it, he loves it when you act like that because it shows how much you love him.

“aw babe don’t pout”

“but you ignored my kiss just now”

“come here, let me make it up to you”

Originally posted by nakamotens

Yuta:

Teasing you 24/7 about it. He isn’t afraid to show that he loves it and he’d purposely avoid kisses so as to see that side of you. And would attack you with kisses at the most random times because he loves seeing your expressions. This guy seriously Smiles non stop and would get all fuzzy and happy because he feels loved by you, which at the same time, makes him more cuddly than he already is.

“you want a kiss? no hehe”

“yuta you suck”

“oh… then all the more you don’t deserve a kiss /sticks tongue out/”

“so mean”

five minutes later and he attacks you with a big hug and pecks your face all over with that bright smile of his

Originally posted by y-ta

Doyoung:

Would act like he’s annoyed with you and probably whines back too but in fact he enjoys it and finds it cute and adorable. Would purposely frown and act like his mad, making you feel bad but then he flashes you his gummy smile and hugs you. Tries to act cool™ by always avoiding your kisses when in reality he’s weak for them and his heart is beating like crazy whenever you do it.

“you’re so annoying, why are you so whiney today omg”

“you know why doyoung”

“what? i don’t know”

and when you glare at him, he softens and leans in to give you a kiss

Originally posted by hey-uta

Jaehyun:

Brightest sunshine!! Giggles to himself a lot and won’t stop smiling at your actions, calling you cute and adorable. At times he likes teasing you and making you pout more but other times he gives in and ends up showering you with kisses, hugs and pecks on your face. Loves it most when you act like that because he knows you truly love him and his kisses, and he’d be more than willing to give you more.

“babe you’re so cute”

“yeah if i was maybe you shouldn’t have ignored my kiss”

“aw someone’s upset”

“come im sorry, let me give you all the kisses i can right now”

Originally posted by neotechs

WinWin:

Another shy ball and wouldn’t know what to do, other than just giggle and pinching your cheek as he finds it super cute. Only teases you occasionally but still manages to be the sweet person he is. Eventually kisses you and you’d notice how he’d blush and smile brightly to himself, as his eyes stare at you lovingly.

“it’s been two days since i saw you :-(”

“do you miss me that much?”

“of course, especially your kisses”

“hehe come here”

Originally posted by blackgirlslovebts

Mark:

This clueless bun actually thought you were genuinely upset with him, he’d apologise sincerely and it’s so adorable you end up laughing and giggling because how is he so pure??? But after time goes by he notices it a lot and finds it really cute, and as he’s shy, he doesn’t show it so he’d giggle to himself softly whenever he sees you pouting.

“goodness, im so sorry, i’ll kiss you now!!”

“really? aw”

“anything for my princess don’t be upset!!”

“im not upset omg you’re so cute-”

Originally posted by neotechs

Haechan:

Another one who would tease you for it and would also act like he’s mad but on the inside he’s all fuzzy and screaming because he loves it a lot. Would play hard to get like Yuta, but always end up failing because he gives in to your pouts- it’s one of his weaknesses. From time to time, he’d avoid your kisses so he can see you act like these, but most of the time he’s the clingy and affectionate one.

“someone’s being so clingy today”

“you’re like that too shut up”

“ooo there goes your kiss bye”

“i hate you”

“/giggles and pecks you on the cheek/ i lovd you too”

Originally posted by donghyukslee

pregnancy waddle is a cute thing ok..

2

So today is my birthday..! yaaay..~ and unfortunately, I have been awake since 3 this morning due to a crazy anxiety attack and food poisoning…. and let me tell you, wanting to run away and throwing up is not a pleasant birthday present… ^^; ..but I am okay for now, still sick but on my way home from vacation.. talk about ending with a bang…^^ …

Anyways.. I made this cute drawing (awkward anatomy and uncomplimentary colors and all~) all in one day!!…  I’m probably going to hate this a few days from now.. Cx …I may have drawn it for me but feel free to use the other blank one for your own use… ^^ as long as you credit me… I’m all okay with that…! Hope that you all like this.. ^^ .. I’m just so happy that I was able to finish it before my birthday starts.. even if I am a noob at coloring.. ^^; .. & digital art in general.. 

… ^__^

[REBLOG PLS] ahgases, please leave beautiful and supportive comments on jaebeom’s ig to drown the ugly ones and make his ig comeback a really happy one 🙏🏻🐥💚

정말 좋은 타이틀 곡을 만들어 주셔서 고마워요 = thank you for composing/making a really good title song
우리 최고의 리더 재범 난 네가 자랑스럽다 = our best leader jaebeom, i’m proud of you
“7 for 7” 대박나자! = “7 for 7” let’s make it a big hit/success!

20 signs of Typical kpop scenarios

1. We know each other since childhood.. And I love you more than a sibling.. But you already have a girlfriend who is dating you for fame and money.
2. Let’s break up. (After one week) in drunken state, 3 at night banging on you door. I want you back (y/n).. Let’s get back together..
3. You are hanging out with my band members. I am jealous now!!
4. You couldn’t believe you eyes. You own bf naked with another girl on your shared bed.. Cheating on you…
5. Grabbing you wrist* let me explain..(y/n)! There is nothing left to explain.. We are over!!
6. I have been out for one month on tours n stuff. I missed you and I know u are horny af too.. So let just have rough sex..
7. Making breakfast in his shirt and not wearing pants.. Him coming and hugging you from behind and kissing your neck…
8. Making a confession while drunk
9. Making a confession because of jealousy.
10. I am pregnant… Wow I can’t wait to be a dad I m so happy!!
11. Being insecure and him showing you how beautiful you are through soft and romantic love making….
12. Sex in shower
13. Sex on kitchen counter
14. Sex in a changing room. Moaning loudly and not getting caught….
15. Will your parents like me..? Don’t worry baby they will love you!!
16. They don’t like me wiping tears from the back of your hands*
17. You are so fucking busy!! You don’t spend time with me!!
18. Heated argument. One person leaving the house. Getting into a car accident. Apologies
19. I am so so sorry (y/n) I love you so much. I love you too.
20. Him seeing in your wedding dress. And regretting that he wished he shud have asked you out..

anonymous asked:

what are 17 things you learned before or as you turned 17

1. pinky promises are so fucking important dude, don’t u dare break them
2. just bc ur not happy right now doesn’t mean u never will be, life has a tendency of looking up just when u have had enough
3. not everyone is gonna love u and that’s ok, the people who don’t love u don’t belong in ur life anyway
4. don’t regret anything if it made u happy like seriously cherish the fact that it made u smile and laugh and don’t regret it even if it became shit in the end bc if that’s the case then it taught u something yknow but don’t regret anything ever it takes more energy to hate and regret than it does to forgive and let go
5. this goes w number 4 kinda but everything happens for a reason like legit maybe u will never know WHY but everything is leading to something bigger and better and in 30 yrs u will be like wow that’s why that happened and it’ll all make sense
6. ur not a problem that needs to be solved don’t u dare let people make u feel like ur a burden because ur fucking not
7. u will always always always have urself ur never alone u always have yourself
8. peanut butter tastes so good when u get it right out of the jar like that’s eating it right honestly
9. mental health days are ok yknow don’t feel bad for skipping school or work or whatever bc u couldn’t get out of bed like just bc your struggle is invisible to the outside world does not mean it doesn’t exist
10. love is NOT and i repeat NOT the only thing worth living for and you shouldn’t only strive to achieve romantic love like hello platonic love is great too like love is amazing but it’s not the most important thing and it is NOT THE ONLY THING WORTH LIVING FOR!!!
11. animals will always forgive you so even if you’re having a hard time forgiving yourself just know there’s a little kitty or puppy or any animal who would love to cuddle with you and give you so much love even if you can’t give it to yourself
12. no one gets to tell you that their actions didn’t hurt you like LOL they don’t live in your body they don’t feel your feelings so if anyone ever tries to downplay the way they made u feel or belittle how u feel then u cut them off right then and fucking THERE
13. just bc ur family is blood and like,, ur family doesn’t mean you have to love them honestly sometimes the people who will hurt you the most are the people you share blood with so just remember that blood does not make a family and you don’t have to love your family because they’re your family???
14. you’re trying your best even if you don’t feel like it or even if no one else sees it man you’re giving it your all so keep trying and go at your own pace and don’t let anyone tell you it’s not good enough
15. being a teenager is fucking hard don’t let adults belittle your struggles and don’t let them blame them all on hormones like maybe some of your issues stem from hormones but some kids actually have mental illnesses??? if you’re one of them don’t let adults call you lazy and get away with it you make damn sure you tell them you are trying your fucking best and doing what you can with what you have
16. loving yourself is such an amazing thing and it takes time bc trust me i’m not there yet either but i know it’s rewarding i just know it and it’ll be great when i get there and it’ll be great when you get there
17. you’re a fucking miracle man like what the fuck sometimes you go to bed hoping you don’t wake up the next morning and sometimes you do reckless things without thinking and sometimes you don’t know what you’re doing but you’re here and you’re breathing and you’re surviving which is fucking incredible and i am so proud of you and you should be too