let's lose virginity

You're a virgin (Luke)*

MASTERLIST

A/N:

Based on this request: Can u do an imagine where it’s bad boy luke who’s done countless things and ur the good girl and you’ve been with him for a while and you want him to b ur first time but he loves ur innocence and feels he’s not good eneough but you convince him he is”

Yes, thank you for requesting x hope you like this

You and Luke have been dating for almost half a year now, you’re in your last year of high school and Luke is a couple of years older than you. He works at a music store down town, he used to be in the drug dealing business but when he started seeing you, he quit. You know that Luke’s past isn’t pretty, you’d never tell your parents or your friends about it, especially since they’re already not that fond of your boyfriend. The don’t need to know everything, and you have a feeling that they’d prefer not to know. You want to believe that Luke has changed though, since he met you, you want to believe that you changed him for the better. You remember, years ago, seeing him and his mates walking down the corridors looking like they owned the place, he didn’t even know you existed back then. 

Luke is always very protective over you, which you think is extremely sweet but when the jealousy gets over hand his mood changes into the worse and whoever you were talking to, that he thought stood too close to you, would probably walk away with a bloody nose and a black eye. 

Luke is a very cuddly and loving person behind his whole “bad boy” image, that he so dearly tries to contain. When it’s just you and him, he ’s the sweetest boy you’ve ever met, taking care of you, holding your hand and randomly placing kisses all over your face at the most unexpected times.

You have just gotten home from school and it’s a Friday, which means that you are staying over at Luke’s apartment tonight. You are currently lying on his bed, you are lying on top of him, your chin on your hands that are placed on his chest. You are looking forward o spending some times with your boyfriend, since you’ve been so busy with school this last week and haven’t had any spare time to see each other. You are mindlessly running your fingers over his clothed chest when you see something white peeking out from under the v-neck of his shirt. 

“What happened?” You ask shocked when you move the shirt and see that it is a big white bandage that is situated right under his left collar bone. “Are you hurt?”

“Babe, calm down. It’s just a tattoo.” He chuckles, taking your hand in his.

“You got a new tattoo?” You ask, both surprised and relieved.

“Yeah, got it earlier today.” He says, looking proud. Most of his arms were already covered in tattoos, he also had a couple on his hips.

“Can I see?” You ask, biting your lip in anticipation. He looks at you before he nods, sitting up to remove his shirt and slowly starts peeling the bandage off of his still sore skin. You can see that it is some sort of text that is in printed on him, but you can’t quite read it yet. He takes the whole thing off and you can finally see what it says, “To the moon.” You whisper, lightly tracing the outlines of the new tattoo. 

“I don’t know, I guess I just thought it’d look good.” He shrugs. You are still sitting up, while he is lying back down again, looking up at you.

“It’s nice.” You say. You touch the ink out of curiosity of how it feels like, but quickly remove your hand when he winces slightly. “Sorry.”

“’s okay.” He smiles.

“How many do you have?” You ask, taking in his whole upper body, completely exposed to only your eyes. You start tracing the lines of all his other tattoos, gracing your fingers over them. You hope he doesn’t feel the burning sensations that run through your fingertips when you touch his skin, or the heavy blush that is creeping its way up your cheeks. 

“Dunno, a bit over thirty at least.” He shrugs, watching you as you run your hands over his toned chest and arms. You think that his body is beautiful, a master piece even, with all the different shapes and letters covering his skin. This situation, with you straddling him and him being shirtless with all of his tattoos exposed, is very intimate and you suddenly feel a strong urge to kiss him, so that is what you do. You bend down and place you lips on his, he’s a bit surprised at first but soon his lips start to move against yours, his hands finding their place on your hips. He pulls away for a brief second to read your face, but when he sees nothing but love and excitement, he quickly attaches your lips together again. You lightly lick his bottom lip to see how he’d react, a second later he opens his mouth too and touches your tongue with his. Adrenaline is pumping through your body, even though you’re only making out, but tonight you feel like something more might happen. This is usually where you stop, but you want to try something else. Feeling a little extra bold at the moment, you break apart from Luke and grab the hems of your shirt before you pull it over your head. 

“Wh-What are you doing Y/N?” Luke stammers, swallowing hard as he’s looking directly at your chest, eyes wide. 

“I want you.” You say, blushing deeply. You’ve always been that innocent good girl with top grades, always doing what your parents told you to do, and losing your virginity have been kind of a big step for you, but you feel extremely comfortable with Luke and you know that he’s never do anything to hurt or embarrass you.

“What do you mean?” He asks, sounding unsure.

“I. Want. You.

“Bu-”

You lean down again and start kissing him, caressing his chest as your hands make their way downwards toward his jeans.

“Y/N, wait-” Luke says, grabbing your hands. 

“You don’t have to ask me Luke, I’m sure about this.” You assure him as you slip your hands out of his grip, quickly unbuttoning his pants.

“No, you need to stop.” He says frustrated, this time pushing you off of him so you land on the bed beside him. He quickly buttons his jeans and stands up, looking at you angrily before he storms out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

You have no idea of what just happened, he just got angry without even giving you an explanation. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to be with you, and then you just threw yourself all over him. You feel the tears begin to prickle in the corners of your eyes, feeling extremely embarrassed, completely humiliated as you sit there in just your bra. Luke doesn’t want me. He thinks that I’m a loser and he deserves so much better than me, you think. The tears are full on streaming down your face by now, you quickly grab your shirt and pull it over your head again, but it doesn’t do any good. You just lost every chance you ever had with Luke, and now you feel like absolute shit, you need to get out of here. 

You open the bedroom door, seeing Luke sitting in the small living room on the couch with his head buried in his hands. He looks up when he hears your bedroom door open but you decide to ignore him, right now, you just want to go home.

“Baby..” He breathes when he sees your tear stained face. He stands up and make his way to you.

“Don’t.” You warn. “I’m leaving. I shouldn’t have done that, I shouldn’t even had come here, I’m sorry.” You say as you open the door that will get you out of the apartment.

“No, babe, please let me explain!” Luke says frantically, grabbing your hand and keeping you from leaving.

“There is nothing to explain. I know that you are disgusted by me and think that I’m too inexperienced, so you don’t want to have sex with me. I get it.” You say, feeling another tear slip out. 

“No, that’s not the truth, I think you are the most beautiful girl on the planet.” Luke says. You search his eyes for the dishonesty that you know must be there somewhere, but you can’t find it.

“Then why won’t you have sex with me?” You ask confused, wiping your eyes. 

“Please don’t leave? Let me explain, okay? Just stay.” He pleads and you nod, wanting to hear what he has to say. He breathes out a sigh of relief before he pulls you with him to the couch, sitting down. 

“I really like you Y/N, fuck, I even love you.” He starts. “And you know I’d do anything for you, you deserve more than the best, and that is why I can’t let you lose your virginity to a loser like me. You’re so innocent and pure, and I have no fucking idea why you’re still with me, because I’m an asshole that doesn’t deserve to at all. That is why I can’t have sex with you, no matter how much I fucking want to, you deserve a clean, smart lawyer or a fucking fire fighter, I don’t know, but someone who’s better than me.” He says, leaving you completely speechless. So that is what all of this was about.

“Luke..” You say, taking his hand.

“You know it’s true, don’t even try to deny it, your dad sai it himself. I’m nothing but a failure, and I won’t take your virginity.” He exclaims, looking into your eyes.

“Listen to me,” You start, placing a hand on his cheek. “I love you. You. You are more than good enough, There is no other guy in the world that I’d rather lose my virginity to, and I don’t give a single shit about what my father says! I’m the one who’s opinion matters, not his. So please believe me when I say this, I want you to take my virginity.” You say.

“I- I can’t- I’m sorry but I can’t Y/N.” He sighs. “I want to, but I can’t.”

“Stop thinking so low of yourself and believe me when I say that you are amazing, I want you and I love you.” You try to convince him.

“Fuck, how did I ever get this lucky?” Luke whispers, looking into your eyes with a sad smile on his lips. “I don’t deserve you. Not at all.”

“Just shut up and kiss me.” You smile. He smiles back before he do just that, kisses you, with all his love.  

Luke then carries you with him into your bedroom once again. All of your clothes are slowly being removed, admiring every new part of body that is exposed until you’re both completely naked. Luke is already rock hard and you can feel a throbbing in your now wet core. Luke lays you down on your back, pressing a kiss you your lips once before his eyes meets yours.

“Are you okay?” He asks, gently removing a strand of hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear. You nod and smile back him, and in this moment you both realize how utterly, foolishly and completely in love you are with each other, and that this moment couldn’t get any better.

Luke puts on a condom that he kept in a drawer in his bedside table, putting it on himself.

“Are you ready baby? It’s gonna hurt a bit, but I’ll be gentle. I promise.” He assures, lacing his fingers with yours.

“Yes.” You answer, bracing yourself for whatever the feeling might be like. Luke kisses you forehead once before you can feel him and your entrance, slowly starting to push in. Even though you have a little to zero experience with the male genitals, you are sure that Luke is definitely not one of the smaller ones, your theory is proven when you feel your walls being stretched out by his large size.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He hisses into you neck, before placing light kisses at the spot.

You squeeze you eyes shut, hugging Luke’s hand as you try to be quiet, even though it really hurts, assuming that the pain must come to an end soon.

“Are you alright, love?" 

You nod in response, concentrating on Luke’s voice. He starts to move a little more, faster, and the pain is soon starting to wear off and instead of strangled whimpers escaping your mouth, quiet moans are instead. 

"Luke..” You breathe, bringing his face to yours so you can kiss him.

“Feels good?” He asks, increasing the speed.

Yesss…” You moan. Embarrassed by the unfamiliar sound, you put your hand over your mouth, but it is soon being removed.

“Want to- Wanna hear you baby, so hot.” Luke groans, and there is really nothing stopping you anymore, your moans are flooding freely through your mouth, turning Luke on even more.

After some more rubbing, a few hard thrust and a line of curse words that would give your mother a stroke, you are both coming. The high is amazing, and nothing like you’ve ever experienced before. Luke is holding your body tightly pressed against his, feeling both of your hearts beating like crazy for one another.

“I love you so fucking much.” Luke pants.

“I love you too, to the moon and back.

A/N: ok I have no idea if that was what you wanted, I guess I got kinda carried away. I’m sorry for any misspellings or other mistakes, it’s like in the middle of the night rn, sorry. please like if you like it x

After three years of living with a secret I’ve had haunting me since it happened, I have finally decided to brave up and reveal my experience with Sam Pepper after seeing more people open up about it. Many of my friends already know what we had going on, but not many knew much about it in detail, only some did, just many knew that I have hated him with a passion ever since. However, I must say I will be remaining anonymous, I am not as brave as Dottie or other girls, call me weak or pathetic, I don’t care, I partly agree, but I do want the story out there and it’s terrifying as it is having to write up my experience up even anonymously. I just really do not want to have to deal with hate and fan girls indenial, this also means that I will not have my ask or submission box open.

To begin with I first met him in April 2011 at a fan meet up he organised so he could make a “rave” prank video for his YouTube Channel (I think the video may have been deleted now, but I don’t know), but honestly at the time, I didn’t really know who he properly was because it was my friends who wanted to go (they were fans because of his appearance on Big Brother) and they wanted me to come along anyway just so I can hang out with them. When I met him, he was incredibly rude to me, he called me a derogatory term he made up that was racist towards me and my appearance (which I’d rather not mention to protect my identity) then started making racist jokes towards that race when having a photo next to me. I was hurt due to the fact that I had spent the past few days “becoming a fan” of him and searching up videos of him so I could be at least a mild fan when I met him, so to have someone you liked make fun of you there in front of a ton of his fans wasn’t exactly the nicest experience, but whatever, that’s nothing to me now and it gets worse. There were a ton more rude things he did that day which I don’t think were that revelant, but in general he has a very harsh sense of humour (especially that day), most of you know that already if you are either a fan or just know who he is. So anyway, after most of my friends weren’t happy with what he had said towards me and towards others, we just left him early whilst all the other fans were still hanging out with him.

Later that night (especially after disliking Sam from just meeting him once), he tweets saying “who’s that girl I called <insert derogatory racist term that he had made up for me here>? I want the photo we had together!” then after getting enough notifications saying my twitter username, he deleted the tweet. I never actually saw the original tweet other than a print screen that my friend had sent me at the time, unfortunately I am unable to recover this as it has been over 3 years and was uploaded on yfrog, which is a site no longer in use (I think it was changed to imageshack? Regardless I tried searching for the print screen just to show proof and I can’t locate it at all) and then adds me on Facebook, through the link I had on my Twitter profile at the time, a few days after posting the tweet (not sure why he waited a few days, but he did). He messages me saying all this:


Now you may be thinking, “wow you are so stupid, you were far too nice to him, I thought you hated him from meeting him that one time?” Sure, I was hurt by the fact he made fun of me, but I am also an extremely forgiving person and like I said, I was somewhat a new fan who did have a liking to him. I was happy that he apologised so I was kind to him, but then again, I’m always fucking kind and I hate myself for it.

As you can tell, it wasn’t long before he decided to invite me over to his house. Now before I go on any further, I must say, I was a 16 year old little nerd. I knew NOTHING about boys or relationships or sex or anything. I was a virgin and I probably have all the personality qualities you would give the stereotypical “nerd”. I was pretty much *innocent*, before him I had only kissed one boy before in my whole life. I didn’t know anything about how guys could use you, manipulate you or abuse you, I had no clue. To me, this seemed like he had an interest in me and that he wanted to get to know me, like most normal people do before they become a couple, right? Wrong.


That is what happened next, yes you may tell me “you had it coming, he wanted you to show off your boobs and butt” or that I should’ve never gone and met him, but again, from my *innocent* perspective, he seemed understanding, that he understood that I wasn’t comfortable with sex because of how young and inexperienced I was, that I wouldn’t have sex with anyone I don’t know well enough, let alone lose my virginity to. And even though I went to his, he did tried to “get in my pants” to put it losely, but I simply refused and he didn’t do anything I was uncomfortable with (we kissed and stuff, but we didn’t have sex). I did not lose my virginity that first time and it’s all happy now, right? No.

I spent months chatting to him over Facebook, over casual things, but to me it seemed like we were becoming friends. That this was the step closer to becoming a couple, that he really liked me and thought I was cute and everything. We met up a couple of times and each time, he would want sex, but I would say no, and he would make me feel really shit about not giving it to him. Part of me wanted to have sex with him because he was not just really attractive at the time, but I really began to like him. He was extremely funny, he was ambitious and he is a computer nerd. In fact, I became SO infuated with him that I didn’t realise that he had been emotionally manipulating me for two months since that April. On June 26th, I finally decided to sleep over night at his place (not just the casual visit that I would usually do), but that night I had planned that this would be the night I finally agree to have sex with him because maybe then I’ll stop feeling so bad about not giving him what he wanted and maybe then we could maybe become a couple? HOW STUPID was I in the first place to even think that was a realistic idea? Why did I ever think that a puny little 16 year old would go out officially with super attractive and famous “Sam Pepper”? Now being a much more mature 20 year old in her final year of University, I know how stupid I was, I know that I should’ve avoided him from the moment he even dared mention my boobs and butt through message, but I didn’t because I was SO “in love” with him. I loved being with him and I got excited when he would message or call me. I had this unrealistic world he put my head in that I didn’t realise the reality of the situation and was fucked over by him and I think he knew exactly what he was doing. He knew that I was very young, very stupid (because of inexperience and whatever else), that I probably didn’t know much better and that he could easily manipulate me and that’s exactly what he did. After using me that night, he didn’t contact me for months. He didn’t message me again like he usually would after seeing me, he completely blanked me. I immaturely spammed him with messages calling him a “douche” because I was angry, but I did not receive a single reply.


For a few months, I told a few people what happened and it turns out he’d been seeing other girls behind my back too, many people saw it as “cheating”, but because we were never official I never knew what to classify it as other than that I was beyond heartbroken. I also found out he’d ask a few of my friends for nude images and that he tried getting with some other friends who just weren’t into to him at all. It pushed my self esteem down to a rock bottom because I never felt so stupid and humiliated in my life, but there was nothing I could do about it. What had happened, had happened. That’s it.

But my “experience” didn’t end there, it had an ending. I wasn’t happy with it, but it happened. At Christmas Eve he messages me again (this time I am 17 years old and after months of ignoring me and not talking to me).


And what irritates me the most is that I was TOO nice to him. I not only complimented him by calling him “hot” (I was meant to say that he uses his looks and status to use girls, but I was so shocked at the time, I’m pretty sure I was shaking, when he had messaged me so it ended up being worded so terribly), but I continued talking to him like we were still friends, talking about my games console like he even cared. I was far too nice when I was far too heartbroken and upset over what he did. And the fact he even dared to ask me to meet him again after he did what he did to me. Emotionally manipulating me, pressuring me into finally having sex with him then ignoring me for months and having a ton of girls behind my back crushed me and I wasn’t going to risk my feelings going through that again by meeting up with him ever again. The “#SamPepperHatesMe” quote was due to the fact it was trending on Twitter at the time, maybe some long-term fans of him may remember that trend, I don’t know, but it’s true, Sam Pepper does hate me, and he hates you too, he hates everyone because all he wants is sex no matter how he gets it.

I know my story isn’t as bad as others, but it’s still something that affected me really badly and I think it’s just further proof that Sam is bullshitting everything and that he is a horrible person who manipulates everything, including people’s feelings towards him. I can’t visit places like East Croydon (where he used to live back in England) because it reminds me of him and what he did. I can’t enjoy Thor (The Avenger) because we watched Thor together. It’s stupid, small things like that which trigger awful feelings and memories. It’s horrible and I know I shouldn’t be so affected by him, even after three years since it happened, especially now that I’m in a good full-term relationship that has lasted almost two years now.

But congratulations Sam, if you do end up reading this, you are still continuing to manipulate the world with your lies and bullshit and a lot of people are still falling for it, like I did three years ago. I hope you tell the future girls you fuck around with that they are just a “social experiment” too.


- Some girl that Sam probably forgot about because he’s probably been with too many girls to remember


P.S. At the time I was seeing him, his YouTube videos were nothing like of that nature he has been posting the past year or so. When he first posted the kissing girls one, I was in tears thinking that it’s the kind of thing he had been doing behind my back in private. It makes me absolutely sick and I know a ton of his fans still will refuse to believe this, because whether or not they believe it, it’s still true and it still happened and it’s still something I have to live with in my memories for the rest of my life and that’s something their disbelief will never change (as much as I wish it didn’t happen either.)

P.P.S. I am not really sure why it says “Facebook User” on our messages together, I can still type “Sam” up in the Facebook message search and all our text logs will come up, but there’ll be no profile attached to it. I think whatever profile he was using back in 2011 has been deactivated, but he still mentions “Sam” in one of the messages so I guess that’s the best proof I have, but regardless of “proof”, it’s still a very much real thing that happened.

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