let's learn from past mistakes

You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don’t try to forget the mistakes, but you don’t dwell on it. You don’t let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.
—  Johnny Cash
The Prince of Annihilation [Ch.14]

Part 14 of The Prince of Ice series, a retelling of Heir of Fire from Rowan’s point of view.

Parts [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ] [ 11 ] [ 12 ] [ 13 ]


A/N: This one breaks my own heart, please know that I am sorry. I am so very sorry. I added a little more of Uncle Kitty Cat in hopes to lessen the blow, but I think I just made it more depressing.

Seeing Gavriel reminded him that he was not free. He would never be free. Whatever wave he had been on crashed against the reality that he called life. He knew the reason Gavriel was here, hell he had expected him weeks ago. He walked his friend to his room and began tattooing the names of Gavriel’s fallen while the tawny eyed male mourned another loss.

He knew who it was before she knocked on the door.


“I thought you might want some stew and—”

The last person he wanted to see was the girl, he snarled at her, “Get out.”

“Do you want the stew?”

He knew Gavriel would need food and it would save them a trip to the kitchen later, “Leave it.”

“Sorry to interrupt.”

Gavriel’s attention was now on Aelin, something flashed in his tawny eyes that unnerved him. The sorrow was different than it had been before. The girl was the cause of that new sorrow in his companion’s gaze.


Anger roiled off of him, he did not want anyone to take care of him, he did not want a friend, he did not want for anyone to use the girl against him. He belonged solely to Maeve until the day he faded. It was a fate he deserved for failing his mate. For losing his honor as a fae male.

He put down the needle and mallet on the workbench, he did not look at Gavriel before he stormed out of the room, but before he could say a word to the girl, “Do you do it for the money?”

He flashed his teeth, “One, it’s none of your business. And two, I would never stoop so low.”

“You know, it might be better if you just slapped me instead.”

“Instead of what?” His patience with the girl, with this day was waning.

“Instead of reminding me again and again how rutting worthless and awful and cowardly I am. Believe me, I can do the job well enough on my own. So just hit me, because I’m damned tired of trading insults. And you know what? You didn’t even bother to tell me you’d be unavailable. If you’d said something, I never would have come. I’m sorry I did. But you just left me down stairs.”

“You left me,” A chasm in his heart opened, not opened, erupted. She had ripped a wound open so large he wasn’t sure he could stop it. A wound that he had carefully stitched together over ten years, and an oath to Maeve.

He does not hear what the girl is saying, he does not see what she looks like. He is swallowed by memories of their last fight right before he left, right before he left her. It wasn’t even a fight, he hears her beg him to stay, to stay with her.

Please, my love, do not leave me. Do not leave me here alone.

He left her.  He left her.  He left her.

He left his beautiful, kind, loving mate. He left his child. He left her.

And with an icy anger he had not felt in years, not since he tore those fae males apart slowly, he looked at the girl, “There is nothing that I can give you. Nothing I want to give you. You are not owed an explanation for what I do outside of training. I don’t care what you have been through or what you want to do with your life. The sooner you can sort out your whining and self-pity, the sooner I can be rid of you. You are nothing to me, and I do not care.”

He watched her walk away. He watched as her shoulders sagged, he watched every single step she took down that gods forsaken hallway. He did not have it in him to run after her. He did not want to acknowledge what he had said to the girl. He did not want to yield to the knowledge that all the warmth he had been feeling over the past weeks had been extinguished.

He did not say a word to Gavriel, instead he walked towards his work table, picked up his tools and continued tattooing.

With every tap of the needle, his words to the girl echoed in his mind.

There is nothing that I can give you.

Nothing I want to give you.

You are nothing to me.

I do not care.

Lies. Such lies, because deep down he knew she was something to him and the feeling of regret was proof enough for his mind that his heart did care.

Gavriel broke the reigning silence during a small break over the stew, “Rowan, I have known you a long time and I have never known you to be purposefully cruel towards an innocent. That girl did not deserve to hear what you said to her. She is alone and scared.  I’m not certain who that girl is or what Maeve’s plans are with her, but I know that she is an Ashryver.”

Surprise lined his face, how had Gavriel known?

“I never told a soul, but when Maeve had me in Wendlyn, I fell in love with a girl. An Ashryver.  You tattooed her here, so trust me when I say that I would recognize those eyes anywhere.”

He remembered that tattoo. Over the centuries Gavriel had learned to keep his lover’s secret, every single time he had gotten close to one, gotten a taste of normalcy, Meave would order him to end the relationship. But over his heart he had tattooed not a name but a promise, a remembrance to love. It had been over twenty years ago, he remembered not because of what he tattooed, no it was how Gavriel had mourned that particular loss. It was how the lion had softened over the past two decades that told him more than Gavriel’s words ever could.

“It is ironic that a seventeen year old girl taught me how to love. She changed me, healed me and then let me go. She knew who I was and who I served. I initially thought that she had left me for another, but years later I learned that was not the case, she never married. I’ll never know why she suddenly pushed me away. And then she died. When she died all hope died with me, but her love remained.”

Rowan understood that loss, he had been surround by the frozen darkness of that loss for centuries. He wished he had comforting words for his friend, but after two centuries he had learned absolutely nothing.

He continued to silently tattoo the names of the fallen. 

He listened as Gavriel mourned the loss of his soldiers.  He had been right, the girl did not deserve the way he treated her. Even if it was the truth, even if he had no male honor because e failed to protect his mate and child, she did not deserve those words. It was his fault that he chose glory over their lives. It was not her fault that she could not see that he did not deserve to be anything to anyone.

He finished the tattoo in the wake of the morning light. He wished this would be the last, but he knew it would not be. He walked with Gavriel to the border of the fortress.

His companion gave him a look he had rarely seen, a look normally reserved for Fenrys and he knew that the male before him was going to give his lost soul guidance like a father would to his son. A son that none of them would ever have.

“Rowan, let go. What is between you and the girl, don’t try to control it. Don’t try to define it, just let it be. She’s the first person to reach you, let her.

Gavriel paused, “If I could go back, I would have just lived with the time the gods had given me. I would not have worried about the future. I would not have regretted the past. I would have had no expectations, no titles, no assumptions. I would have just live in every moment I had been blessed with her. Learn from my mistake, learn from your past mistakes.”

“How did you not let it ruin you?”

The tawny eyed male knew what he meant, he may not have lost a mate, but loss is loss.

“I can’t go back, I can’t change it, it was a gift to have known her, to have been loved by her, if I sit in the darkness of my loss, I discredit her memory, I reject the love she gave me. Even when I feel that I did not deserve that love.”

Gavriel paused. He saw the flicker of regret before he said, “Just live, let her teach you how how to live with what time the gods grant you.”

And with that Gavriel left him to his thoughts of a girl who sparked an ember of light into his darkness.

Parts [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ] [ 7 ] [ 8 ] [ 9 ] [ 10 ] [ 11 ] [ 12 ] [ 13 ]


I’m so very sorry. Please don’t stop loving me. 

i was given the go-ahead to post my piece for the Jojo Tarot Project ( @jojotarotproject ) since all decks are being shipped out! i was assigned Abbacchio and the 5 of Cups. 

The Five of Cups represents a lack of fulfilment or non-attainment of expected results. You are feeling disappointed that a situation has not turned out as you had hoped, and instead of moving on to greener pastures, you are wallowing in self-pity and regret about what has been lost. The water spilled from the cups shows that the cause for regret is more emotional than financial. You are quickly becoming disillusioned with life and increasingly pessimistic about your future.
The Five of Cups suggests that you are having trouble letting go of the past and learning from your mistakes. This card can often reflect a person who is caught up in the past and unable to move on, missing out on new opportunities. Bitter memories from the past continue to bother you, and often a great deal of the blame for past actions is placed on yourself and your inadequacies. To some it would seem that there is no way out of this situation but the Tarot always shows problems on one hand and solutions on the other

The 5 of Cups was a super good choice for Abbacchio, both in relation to his story as well as his past and how it affects his decisions throughout Vento Aureo. Abbacchio is a character that really resonates with me for a myriad of reasons, so i was really excited to not only get into this project, but also be able to choose him as my art piece! thanks so much to the organizers of this project, i am super amped to get the card deck in my hands and see everyone’s great work!

To my fellow Germans.

Leute geht heute wählen! Make the right decision today. Lets learn from the mistakes other countries have made in the recent past. Go Vote! Don’t let racists take over our country. Don’t let them destroy our freedom. We don’t need discrimination against minorities. We are the german people. We are Europeans. We are humans. We are Earthlings. No matter what skin color, gender, religion or sexual orientation we have. “Die Würde des Menschen ist unantastbar.” Human dignity shall be inviolable. Protect these first words of our constitution. Today you have the chance to do that. Everyone who stays at home today and doesn’t vote is just as responsible as the people trying to destroy our democratic values. 🇩🇪🇪🇺🏳️‍🌈🌍

Thoughts on Akira and Seidou

Whole lot of rambling and thoughts ahead!

Basically, I notice random has a tendency to over-simplify the relationship between them into one being right and the other being a bad person.

Either Akira is a bully and Seidou is an innocent kid, or Akira is a perfect Queen and Seidou is a whiny brat. Both are equally wrong.

Keep reading

Pokemon: New Year’s Fireworks

Hey guys! I hope you are all having a Happy New Year! I just wanted to drop something off for you guys to enjoy this year, so I hope  ou guys  like my new haudion fic! Please enjoy, and I guess I will see you all next year! <3

In all honestly, Gladion just wanted to sleep the night away. Even though it was New Years Eve, and most people celebrated and partied most of the night away, all the blond wanted to do was just lay in the dark like he always was. But now that he had met Hau and the others, Gladion knew that this peaceful silence wasn’t going to last very long. Letting out a small sigh, the blond closed his eyes, and went to snuggle his head in Hau’s pillow that he borrowed, but when a loud bang and crackle was heard, the boy let out a small yelp, and flung straight up in the bed. Getting out of the bed so fast that his feet almost got caught in the sheets, Gladion flung open the door, and looked around the room. Hau was nowhere to be seen, and more loud booms where echoing around the house, and the blond could literally feel the floors vibrating under his bare feet from the intensity of it. Opening the door to the huge home, the blond glanced out into the darkening outside, and came face to face with Hau setting up yet another firework.

                       “Hau?! What are you doing?!” Gladion yelled, and watched as the bottle rocket flew and lit up the sky with reddish orange sparks. Hau watched in amazement, before turning around to look at the blond with a huge smile. Gladion blushed slightly as the lasting firework lit up Hau’s sparkling grey eyes that shone with excitement and wonder. Running over to the taller blond, the brunet jumped up, and wrapped his arms around the boy’s neck, nuzzling into his chest. Gladion was glad it was dark so that the other couldn’t see how much his face was lighting up in embarrassment. “You know I was trying to sleep, right?”

                       “Oh, I forgot! But why are you sleeping? It’s New Years Eve! You should be celebrating with me! How about it?” Hau snickered out, letting go of the flustered blond as he ran back towards the box full of fireworks. Gladion cleared his throat, and slowly followed the excited brunet over towards the box. Kneeling down, the blond looked through the box, and saw all kinds of things. Hala must’ve gotten them for the boy. Glancing at Hau, Gladion couldn’t help the smile that rose on his face as he noticed the other bouncing with glee. Feeling eyes on him, Hau looked into the curious green eyes, and handed him a firework. “Here! I’ll have Flareon light it for you!”

Gladion watched as Hau summoned the pokemon from the pokeball, and smiled when the fox pokemon shook it’s fur out, and peeped happily. It reminded him of Hau in a way. Shaking out of his daze, the blond reached in his pajama bottom’s pocket, and pulled out Silvally’s pokeball. Letting it out, the teen patted the white mane, and chuckled when the beast’s tongue lapped at his rosy cheek. Hau giggled along with him, before throwing out the rest of his pokemon, they should be able to have fun too. Doing the same, trainers watched as the pokemon all cheered, and ran around to play. Glancing back at Flareon, the blond bent down, and showed the wick of the firework to the pokemon. Watching it nod, the blond watched as the red fox lit the string carefully, before he placed it on the ground, and both trainers and pokemon ran away from it. Seeing the thing light, and burst, Gladion glanced at the sky, and watched as blue and green sparks and lit up the sky.

                               “Wow! That one was so pretty! Look at it Gladion!” the cheerful brunet cheered, running around the sparks with a huge smile. The blond nodded, and watched as the blue and green sparks began to fade away, before Hau reached in the box, and grabbed out a handful of fireworks. Gladion felt his green eyes widen as the brunet told Flareon to light them all at once. When it happened, the blond cursed, and ran towards the eagerly bouncing trainer. Wrapping his arms around the other’s waist, Gladion pulled them away just as the fireworks went off with a boom, and the whole ground vibrated from the force of it. Feeling his breath leave him as Hau landed on top of him as they fell, Gladion stared up at the dark sky to see a rainbow of colors, before the brunet’s face came into his view, blocking the terrifying yet beautiful sight. “Gladion! I’m sorry! I wasn’t thinking. Are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you?”

                       “N-no…I think I’m okay,” Gladion groaned, sitting up slightly. Rubbing the back of his head, the blond glanced around, and noticed the pokemon scattered, but they were looking at him in concern. Smiling softly at them, Gladion turned his attention to Hau, who was still sitting in between the blond’s legs, looking him up and down, most likely checking for any injuries. Sighing, the blond patted the worried brunet’s head, and cupped his cheek. Seeing the pout still evident on Hau’s face, Gladion rolled his eyes, and brought the other closer to him by his sides. Feeling the blond’s hands on his sides, Hau yelped and squirmed, making Gladion smirk and dig his fingers softly in the little bit of pudge the brunet had there. “Do I have to make that pout disappear?”

           Shaking his head, Hau brought his hands up, and covered the shaky smile that was beginning to wobble onto his blushing face. Shaking his head, Gladion gave the boy a mischievous smirk, and quickly squeezed his fingers up the wiggling boy’s sides up to his armpits. Feeling this, Hau gasped through his hands, and squeezed his arms to his sides as bubbly giggles began to feel from his mouth as he squirmed. The blond’s smirk faded into a grin as he brought Hau into his lap, and continued his ticklish touches. Hau squirmed and squeaked as Gladion’s hands wiggled out of his armpits and down his ribs, making their way down to his tummy with gently pokes. Shoving his face into the blond’s neck, Hau pleaded through his shaky laughter. Gently digging his fingers into the brunet’s trembling belly, Gladion watched as Hau shrieked silently and shook in his hold.

                       “Okay! O-okahahahahahahay! I promise nohohohoho more pouting!” Hau screeched in the blond’s neck, pulling away to looking into Gladion’s smug face. Seeing the tears making their way down the brunet’s cheeks, the blond put on a thinking face as he fluttered his fingers down to Hau’s hips, making the boy arch up, and beg even more. Seeing how wrecked he made the trainer, Gladion slowed his tickling to a stop, and pressed their foreheads together. Hau whined through his pants, as he glared lightly at the blond, but after a while, he just sighed, and nuzzled the other’s face. Gladion hummed in response, and brought the other closer until their chests were pressed together, and he was able to rest his chin on Hau’s head as they cuddled. Listening to their pokemon still running around and playing now that the big firework scare was over, the blond glanced back at the box, and rubbed Hau’s back. “Gladion, can we finish the fireworks? Something tells me that it’s close to midnight.”

                       “Sure…Come on. After this is done, we can rest, if that’s okay.” Seeing Hau nod hard, the blond smiled, and brushed the boy’s bangs back lovingly. Hau grinned, before standing up, holding his hand out for Gladion to take. Taking it, the blond stood up, and watched as the excited brunet called back his Flareon, and took more fireworks out of the box. Luckily, he seemed to learn from the past mistake, because he let the pokemon light them one at a time instead of all at once. Seeing more rainbow sparks fly and pop in the air, Gladion sat back and watched as the cheerful trainer laughed and danced around shimmering lights. Feeling something butt his back, the blond turned to see Silvally looking at him with a knowing look. Blushing slightly, Gladion just sighed, and rubbed the pokemon’s head. “Yeah, I know. Come on, let’s have some fun for one…I guess.”

Walking over to the cheering boy, Gladion took a firework from the other, and let Hau’s Flareon light it. Seeing the bottle rocket shoot in the air, the blond glanced at the happy brunet, and flushed when the boy took their hands together. Hau was warm, unlike Gladion, who was starting to get a little cold. Smiling softly at the brunet, the blond gently pulled them closer until their sides were pressed together, and Gladion could feel the warmth radiating off the other. Hau giggled at this, and snuggled into the other’s arms, letting his fire pokemon light the rest of the smaller fireworks. Watching them light and then fly, Gladion looked down at the shorter boy, and smiled. If it wasn’t for Hau, he wouldn’t be able to celebrate a holiday like this. Hau turned to meet the blond’s gaze, and watched as something shined in his eyes. And as the last firework whistled through the air, and the clock struck midnight, Gladion pressed a soft kiss to Hau’s lips.

anonymous asked:

Sorry if I'm late but I just needed to rant a little. I'm kind of sad that Holly's gone 😭 idk rly know what has conspired over the week but why can't we just enjoy the game and not be so antagonistic about each other's opinion. please say you and dopecatcollins will stay!!

Well anon, I think a lot of people are sad about Holly leaving and about what happened in general. I feel you but it was ultimately her very own decision and we have to respect that.
Let‘s learn from the mistakes of the past. I‘m sure together we can make this fandom a better and more enjoyable place for everyone.

@dopecatcollins and I are going to stay around just to annoy the hell outta y‘all with our cheesiness 😋

“I can’t believe Bryana and Ashton-”

The Mistake of Repeating History

Selaedin is a current senior at NYU pursuing a double majoring in Religious Studies, and Middle Eastern & Islamic Studies. Along with being a co-president for MuCh (Muslim-Christian Dialogue at NYU) he is also the Director of Membership for TMN (The Muslim Network of NJ). He is also an active and participating member of the Islamic Center at NYU. As an open minded and driven student, Selaedin very much enjoys interfaith dialogue, and exploring the history and theology of the many faiths and traditions of the world.

At least eight million men, women and children emigrated from Ireland between 1801 and 1921. The peak of Irish immigration came about during the Irish Potato Famine. The Great Famine (1845-1852) was a period of mass starvation and disease. It is estimated that nearly one million people died, and a million more emigrated from Ireland during the famine, most of whom were Catholic. Ireland lost between 20% and 25% of its population.

Waves of Irish Catholics tried to escape certain death in Ireland by setting sail for the Americas. Enduring dreadful conditions on vessels that became known as “coffin ships,” many voyagers didn’t survive the trip. In 1847, the first big year of Famine emigration, New York City was swamped with 37,000 Irish Catholics. The numbers continued to grow in cities like New England, Philadelphia, and Kansas City.

 Ill will towards Irish Catholic immigrants quickly escalated. Their poor living conditions and their willingness to work for low wages fueled the fire of hatred against them. Religious conflict soon took center stage. Tensions between Protestants and Catholics skyrocketed in the United States. Verbal attacks on Catholics often led to mob violence. In 1831, St. Mary’s Catholic Church in New York City was burned down, while in 1844, riots in Philadelphia left thirteen dead. Similar incidents occurred in Boston, such as Protestants burning down Catholic convents and homes.

Stereotypes meant to dehumanize the Irish began to spread. Irish Catholic men were depicted in political cartoons as drunkards and criminals, who were lazy and eternally fighting. Irish women were sometimes stereotyped as “reckless breeders” because some American Protestants feared that high Catholic birth rates would lead to a Protestant minority. Many Irish children complained that their Catholic tradition was routinely mocked in the classroom. The anti-Irish and anti-Catholic sentiment led to “No Irish Need Apply” signs being posted across American cities.

 Many Americans believed that the increase in Catholics would give way to Papal influence in America. This simplistic view held Catholics as anti-democracy. Their assumed “allegiance” to the Pope was thought to be a barrier that prevented Catholics from accepting American democracy. This prevalent belief that Catholics could never assimilate and become “good” Americans became normalized. Fear of the Papacy thus became fear of the Irish, and resulted in outright violence.

Groups from the militant right sprang up to combat immigration. Political parties, such as the “Know-Nothings,” sought to curtail Irish immigration and keep immigrants from becoming naturalized Americans so as to prevent them from ever gaining political power.

 If we substitute the words “Catholic” with “Muslim” and “Irish” with “Syrian,” we see a stark resemblance to the immigration dilemma of the 21st century. For the past two years, Syrian refugees have been pouring out of the Middle East through Turkey and the Mediterranean Sea and into Europe in search of a new home. While the Irish were escaping famine and starvation, the Syrians are fleeing from a civil war that has devastated the country they once called home.

Not only is starvation the reality of the Syrian people, but their cities and villages are also no longer inhabitable due to daily bombardment. The streets are stained with blood; rubble is all that remains of the once beautiful city skylines; the wind carries with it the smell of gunpowder, expositions and death; classrooms have been emptied; supermarkets and farmlands left barren, and the cries of children are heard near and far. While the Assad regime continues to level entire cities with carpet-bombs, groups like Daesh (ISIS) terrorize the people with their backward ideology and unspeakable acts. Not only does Daesh impose their rule through mindless violence, but they also indoctrinate and spread a twisted ideology that is foreign, unwelcomed, and detested by the Syrian people. Life in Syria has become a living hell.  Thousands of innocent people are seeking a better future.

Many of the surrounding countries (Turkey, Lebanon, Jordan, and Egypt) have taken the brunt of the mass emigration from Syria. Other Western nations are being called to do their part in bringing relief to the humanitarian crisis. Germany and other European nations have opened their doors to thousands. Refugee camps line the borders of many Balkan countries providing safe havens for refugees as they pass through on their journey to Central and Western Europe. The world is now asking America to step up and do the same. The problem is, not all Americans are enthusiastic about the proposal.          

Xenophobic and Islamophobic rhetoric has dominated American conversations on the Syrian refugee crisis. Much of the same fear that was once directed towards the Irish Catholics has been rekindled. The fear of the unknown, Islam, a religion shrouded in mystery, instills hatred for Syrian Muslims in the hearts of many Americans. Stereotypes and sheer racism have dominated immigration discourse once again. Some Americans are quick to draw a line between the violence in the Middle East and terrorism abroad with something “inherently” evil in Islam. Sweeping claims that label Muslims as terrorists, violent, radical, backward, and alien have become normalized.

Furthermore, demonization of Sharia law (abstract Islamic law) draws a stark resemblance to the demonization of Catholicism. Similar to what happened with the Irish, allegations of Sharia law as anti-democracy portray Syrian Muslims as incapable of becoming “loyal,” “trustworthy,” “good-willed” Americans. Fear that Syrians will not give up their assumed loyalty and “allegiance” to “Sharia law” and turn their devotion to America is poisonous thinking. Syrian Muslims are then perceived as a threat to “American” values and ideals as they will never be able to “assimilate” due to their “oppressive” religion. It is now Islam that is seen as an obstacle to becoming an American.

Much of this ignorance and hate is translated into violence against Muslims across America. “Muslim-free zones,” few in number, have popped up in parts of America. The rise in hate crimes against Muslims has skyrocketed. Mosques too often are vandalized with hateful speech. Hate speech such as “Sand N****rs,” “Go back home,” “F*** Islam,” and “Muslims are terrorist” is all too familiar to the Muslim communities in America. Many Muslims have expressed fear and distrust in their own government officials, as spying on Muslim communities has become the norm.

Irish, Jewish, Chinese, and other immigrant communities have experienced first-hand the realities of xenophobia and racism. Their religions were routinely demonized. They suffered mental and physical pains because of who they were and what they wanted – all of this to become American citizens and find a better life for their families.

As an American Muslim and grandson of Turkish immigrants, I ask my fellow Americans to stand with me in the face of xenophobia and Islamophobia. Let us stop history from repeating itself. Let us not make the same mistakes. Let us learn from our past. Let us realize the humanity in Syrian refugees, and all immigrants, Hispanic, African, and so on. Let us embrace them with open arms, welcome them into our great nation, and help them in their time of need, so they may bear witness to the loving character of America.

Drunk in Love (Harry Styles)

Sorry guys, this one is a long one. Been sick today, had a day off and decided to write something for you pretty faces. Love - G

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4

You two spend the rest of the day in your room cuddling in bed. You couldn’t let each other go even for a second. You both knew that this moment will end eventually and you’ll have to separate for who knows how long. Just having each other there was all you could ask. You took your laptop and put a movie on. As you were watching Harry kept on kissing you from time to time. Your forehead… lips…neck… shoulders… hand.. your chest. It felt like gentle fire against your skin. Shivers went down your body when his lips collided with your skin and you couldn’t control it. 

“Are you even watching this? It’s a really good movie Harry” - you said to him when you felt his green eyes on you. He didn’t care about the movie at all, you could feel him looking at you most of the time. You felt a bit scared that the longer he stares at you, more flaws he will find in you and leave. It took all the courage in you to let him in your life in the first place. You’ve always been the person that gets attached to people quickly. You learned from your past not to let too many people come close to you. Less people know you, less chance they will end up using you and hurting. And all of a sudden you let a completely unknown person to you take over your whole world. You knew deep inside that you will fall in love with him sooner than expected. Just look at him. How can you not fall in love with Harry? He is the most beautiful person in the world, inside and out. He takes care of you, respects you and wants you…At least that’s what you thought. 

“You are more interesting than the movie”- he giggled and you turned your head. Your eyes met, you couldn’t breath and it seemed like your heart stopped. “I love watching your reactions, it’s the most endearing and cutest thing in the world.” - he leaned in and kissed your lips. Oh…. It felt more than perfect. His soft lips pressed on yours. He gently put his hands on both sides of your face. You fit perfectly together as if created for each other. You parted your lips a little bit to let him inside you and he didn’t hesitate. He slipped his tongue inside. You both melted in one. You only pulled away the second you felt your lungs collapsing without air and he continued to press quick kisses all over your face. 

“Enough Mr. Styles, eyes on the screen!!” - you said putting your head on his shoulder. You were scared so scared to fall in love with this man. He treated you so right but you couldn’t let your guard down. Not this time. You have learned from your past mistakes and grown up with them. It took you years to believe in yourself after last time someone came this close to you. It hurt, your world fell apart, you felt unhappy, insecure and scared for years after somebody long ago broke your heart. You felt that Harry being Harry will find someone better soon and forget you like nothing has happened. You trusted him, you really did, but being far away from each other for so long… Anything can happen. 

“What’s wrong? You seem to be in a different universe” - Harry said with a worry in his eyes. 

“No, no. Everything is fine my mind is just constantly overloading that’s all” - you put the best smile you could. How can you tell Harry that you are quickly falling for him and are scared of him at the same time. With one smooth move he turned the movie off put your laptop away and sat in front of you, taking your hands in his and putting them on your lap.

“Everything is not fine, you don’t have to lie to me, Y/N. I can see it, I’m not that stupid. Please tell me what’s on your mind. I need to know what’s bothering you, it’s killing me. I want to fix it.”

“It’s nothing, don’t worry. Really.” - you said quickly brushing this conversation away. You planted your lips on his to take his mind away from this. But he knew what you were doing and gently pulled you away.

“I know what you’re doing and it’s not going to work. I’m not going to leave you until you tell me”  - Harry said and you could tell he was being very serious this time. But how? How can you tell him everything. He might think you are crazy and stupid and he will leave even sooner.

“Oh that’s good. I’ll just stay quiet and you’ll be with me forever” - you smiled. You could feel it seemed fake.

“Y/N please….”

“It’s nothing, Harry believe me. I know you’ll have to leave tomorrow and it’s fine. It’s the way it has to be. I’m just thinking how much I’ll miss you” - you didn’t even look at his face. You kept your eyes down and played with your hands. You weren’t the best liar in the world and you knew he would know the second he saw your eyes.

“I love you. Y/N, I love you. Even though we haven’t known each other for that long I can tell that it’s not it. But it’s fine. If you don’t want to talk about it I understand. Just know, that I’m always here for you. No matter how far away I am, what I am doing or what time of the day it is. I’m here for you. Call me anytime. Give me a word and I’ll fly back to you.”

“You have no idea what you are doing to me Harry. My heart is beating like crazy.” - you said and he laid down with his head on your chest to feel the heart.

“You’re body already knows you are falling in love with me, you just don’t know it yet” - you smiled like an idiot because you knew it’s true.
You both fell asleep hours later. Your naked bodies melted together. You drifted off first as he was playing with your hair. It was the best feeling in the world. How did he know your weakest spots, your reactions, everything so well. It’s a bit scary.

Next morning you woke up at 6 am, before Harry and went downstairs to make him breakfast before his flight. When you came back to your room you saw him still in bed. You put the plate on the table and sat down on bed next to him, massaging his head

“Harry, darling, wake up. I made you some breakfast and a coffee that will wake you up.” - he didn’t move or blink or speak.

“Harry, c'mon don’t be a baby!! The boys will kill you and me if you miss the show tonight. Get your ass out of the bed!!” - He quickly put his hands on your waist and flipped you over. You were now laying on your back with his legs on both sides of your hips, your hands above you held by him.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” - Harry said with the voice that made your body twist in knots.

“No, I’m trying to keep you in your job and both of us alive.” - he planted his lips on yours and you didn’t hesitate to kiss him back. But as soon as he started moving down your neck and hands brushing on your thighs, you pulled away.

“Harry!! Behave. We don’t have time for this.” - you slapped his hand away and started moving to somehow get up, while he is on top of you. Suddenly he let go of you and stood up. He started getting changed right in front of you. You couldn’t keep your eyes away from his body. Every inch of it was perfect. His strong chest, that holds you tight as if it could stop a bullet, his arms covered in tattoos that wrapped around your waist, his neck that was covered with your kisses last night, his chest that holds the biggest heart in the world. You didn’t even know how long you were staring at him.

“Feel free to take pictures if you want” - you suddenly realized you completely zoned out by the sight of him. You could feel blood rushing to your cheeks. His face was in full satisfaction, with a huge smile and a grin. 

“Oh shut up” - you quickly looked away and started making the bed, just to hide the tint of your cheeks away from him. He was right, you’re body was completely in love with him, it’s just your heart that was fighting against it.
He quickly ate the breakfast you made saying how perfect you were. He packed all his stuff and minutes later a driver came to your house to steal him away from you. He planted one last kiss and left with words “I love you. I’ll see you soon”


A couple of weeks have passed since he walked out of your house. He called you and said he loves you every single day. You talked for hours and you still woke up every morning with a good morning text from Harry. You missed him, your body needed him more than you would have ever thought. But you both knew there is going to be difficult times. It’s the way it is with both of you very busy with your lives. You were on your final month of university and spend most of the time writing your final work. There was no way you could fly to him, or him flying back at this point. One month till you graduate and you can see him again. That’s the idea that kept both of you going through this period.

Even though you knew everything they were doing, as Harry liked to share everything with you. You read every article about them. “One Direction spotted going out clubbing in Spain”…. “Who’s the mysterious girl with Harry Styles”… “All four single boys of One Direction enter a restaurant in LA with unknown girls”…. You trusted him… Kind of…

There was always a thought on your mind that he will eventually find someone better you just didn’t know how soon. And all these articles made you feel even worse. You hid it from him. When any paparazzi pictures exploded, Harry always called you to reassure that nothing is going on there. You would just giggle and say it’s a part of his job and it’s fine. He believed you. You believed him. Harry wouldn’t hurt you on purpose, but what if one day when he is out with the boys he meets someone better, prettier smarted, more famous. It could happen without him even planning it. And that thought was killing you daily. You didn’t want to mention anything to Harry. It would only make you look pathetic and crazy. You kept everything to yourself.

Next couple of weeks have been an absolute disaster. Your graduation was around the corner and your hand in date for your final work in less than a week. You hardly slept, focusing completely on your project. Harry knew that and didn’t call you as much. Sometimes you would look at your phone with Harry’s name on it and wouldn’t even pick up. There were some scary articles about Harry floating around, he would call you. But you ignored. You knew how little it would take for you to break at this point. You had more than enough stress already. You would text him saying you are busy and he understood. You were both very quickly drifting apart.

You finally handed in your last project for the degree. It felt amazing. You put all of yourself in it and you were proud of the outcome. That’s it, there was no turning back. Now it’s just waiting for the results. After handing it in, all the students decided to go out and you were not going to miss this opportunity to finally relax.

You took a shower, put some music on and started getting ready. You can’t remember the last time you went out. After you were done you looked at the mirror and liked the outcome. Black high heels that made your legs look ten times longer, a short black dress, with see-through details that showed off all the right places of your body, dark lips with an eye-liner and curly long blond hair. You weren’t a model, not even near. But tonight you felt like one. Your friend texted saying he will pick you up in a couple of minutes and you decided to finally call Harry.

“Hey beautiful. Congratulation, I’m so proud of you. I love you and I miss your pretty face”

“I miss you too, sorry I’ve been distant lately, it’s just, all the stress was taking over. I really miss you Harry, it’s driving me crazy. Are you still coming to my graduation?”

“Y/N… I’m really sorry, I won’t be able to make it. I have a concert on that day and there is no way they can move. I’m really really sorry. But I’ll fly you out as soon as you finish. You can stay with us as long as you want” -thank god he couldn’t see your face. You were about to cry. You missed him, you needed him, especially on your special day.

“Oh it’s ok, don’t worry. I understand. I’ll definitely come visit you guys soon. Anyway, we are all going out tonight to celebrate and my friends are here. I have to go I’ll talk to you soon” - Oh you missed him. You quickly put your phone in your bag and left the house.

“Y/N you look stunning” - your friend Josh said as soon as you opened the door.

“Thank you. You don’t look bad yourself”

“C'mon guys let’s go!!!” - your friend who you work with shout out from the taxi. She was the only one that met Harry before. She was the only one that knew a little bit about what was going on.

“Relax Emily, the club is not going to run away” - you said and slowly walked to the taxi, trying not to fall over in your heels.

When you arrived at the club all your friends were already there. You walked in and were stunned by the amount of people. All of you went straight to the bar, you all needed and deserved a drink after all the work.

“Can we get three tequilas and three whiskey and cokes please” - you quickly said to the bartender

“Shots!!! I like this girl, she knows how to start a good night.” - Emily said. You paid for the round and handed the shots to your friends.

“To a good graduation. I love you all guys, Cheers!!” - you downed the shot and thought about Harry. You really wanted him to be here with you now and wake up with him tomorrow, and the day after and the day after….  

A couple of drinks and shots in your system, you relax and forgot about Harry. Your friends started taking pictures and posting them on instagram. You didn’t even see them but at this point you didn’t even care. You were getting quite drunk.

“C'mon guys let’s go dancing!!! I love this song” - you said grabbing your friends hands and dragging them to the dance floor.

You started dancing, You felt so alive, it might have been the alcohol in your system, or your favourite song playing, or the freedom you felt after finishing all your work, Or all in one. You felt amazing. The night was going great, all your friends were drunk and so were you. When you and Emily went to the bathroom you decided to call Harry. You looked through your bag and quickly found Harry’s number.

“Hey babbeeee, what are you doing?” - you said leaning against the wall as you couldn’t stand still anymore.

“Hey beautiful, how drunk are you?” - Harry said after you heard a giggle. There was a loud music blasting at the end of his side and you got worried. Is he out with someone? Is he with another girl?

“Just a little bit…. or a lot. I don’t knooooooooow. Where are you?” - you said as you got a little bit mad and jealous for no reason.

“Oh… um… I’m just out with Niall for a couple of pints. How’s the night going? Do you miss me?”

“I miss you a loooot!!! Don’t leave me for another girl…. Harry I love you…. Emily whhhere are you running!!!!”- then you saw Emily running out of the bathroom back to the sea of people, you knew you would get lost alone so you ran after her, putting your phone back in your back.

“I just love this song!! Y/N dance with me!!”

“Of courseee my danncee partnerreee!!!” - you two danced in the middle of the dance floor, you were a bit too drunk to realize there were guys staring at you both as you twirled around on the dance floor. A couple of guys started walking your way, but you were too drunk to see them come close to you. 

“Hey girls, care if we join you?” - two tall guys said loudly right next to us but you still didn’t hear them as the music was blasting. Emily quickly started flirting with one of them and you knew you lost your dance partner for the night. 

“I think our friends are getting quite friendly there” - he leaned to your ear and said quite loudly so you could hear. 

“Yeah, I cannn see I lostt my parrtnerr in crimee!!” - you leaned against his ear and shouted. 

Suddenly you felt two hands placed on your waist from behind. You quickly slapped them off and turned around with anger in your eyes…

It was Harry holding you in his arms. You quickly put your hands around his neck and placed your lips on his. It wasn’t the soft gentle kiss as usual. It was the passionate sloppy one, but you couldn’t control yourself as you saw him right in front of you. He looked so hot in a shirt half way done with his chest on display, skinny black jeans and  a blazer.

“Is someone trying to steal this beautiful stunning girl that finally admitted she loves me?” - he said to your ear kissing your cheek. You were so happy to see him, you were exploding in happiness, but it might have been enhanced with the amount of alcohol in your system. 

“I LOVE YOU HARRY!!!”- you shouted out and that’s the last thing you remember from last night. Everything else got deleted from your mind by the amount of alcohol… 

Ah crap I draft one ask and another that is sort of related to it arrives right after, haha. Sorry for awkward posting, but I prefer answering somewhat related stuff at one go (even though it leads to long replies because I can’t shut up, apologies).

Ren pretty much fell for Hux the moment he started working at First Order. About here. He’s the one who has a hopeless crush throughout ALL the comics, Hux starts developing feelings only after the one where he kisses Ren and the pretty ugly aftermath of it.

The chronology gets a bit complicated since we’ve just drawn things we’ve felt like drawing despite where they might fall in the grander scheme of things (like plot lol), but here’s the approximately correct timeline:

- Almost right after Ren starts working at FOC
Probably what leads to Ren kissing Hux
- The kiss
- Reset!
- The three-part comic I just posted
- This
Maybe this

Now I’m not sure if the last one actually happens right after the one before it, or if Hux actually is enough of a decent person (who learned something from his past mistakes) to let Ren calm down and not take pretty gross advantage of his mental state. The Millicent one does sort of kickstart endgame, the kiss won’t happen long after, and it’s what leads to endgame when it happens (there’s a reason I didn’t draw the actual kiss and just wanted to show the intimacy and how Ren’s not sure if he can touch Hux).

And the comic with the kiss happens pretty early in the timeline. The two hardly even know each other in it yet. It’s part of why Ren gets even more emotional when he yells at Hux at the end of the latest comic and puts emphasis on “you hate me” and rags on him so much about not having feelings, etc. You don’t know yet what resets the situation back to the status quo and why the kiss is not endgame, but like I said in the latest comic’s tags, I’ll draw it at some point. It’s not going to be a very happy comic, though, and boils down to “Hux is an asshole who doesn’t realize how much rejection Ren has been through”, but I like to draw Ren upset and in tears so you know how this will go lol. It will teach Hux an important lesson anyway.

The comics I didn’t link can fit either before or after the kiss, but I like to think those with Hux acting at least somewhat nicer towards Ren are after (like the one in which Ren is sick), and the rest (most “pointless” comics) are before. Point is: Ren crushes on Hux pretty much instantly (but is in denial about it for a long time), Hux only starts feeling genuine attraction after the kiss (and realizing how he shouldn’t have done it), and then they’re both in denial about their feelings, fight a lot because they get under each other’s skins so easily and pine after each other in secret because that trope is where I draw my lifeforce.

Your past cannot be forgotten to move on, it must be accepted. Without that, you are bound to make the same mistakes over and over again. So when I hear people say “forget the past and move on,” I am not sure if they grasp the concept on what it entails. You cannot forget what a lesson taught you, so why forget the past that created it? You must accept the past, learn from your mistakes and let change have a positive impact, because without change; you cannot make a new future.

Think about what you have learned. Maybe you have to re-visit the past sometimes to remind yourself how far you have come or to remind yourself that you haven’t gotten very far at all. Maybe it’s there for a reason. So now it is up to you to accept the past and make that change so you can move forward.

So what are you going to do with your past now that you know what it entails? Are you still going to forget it or are you going to learn, accept and allow the possibility of change enter your life?

You have the choice - you can move on to bigger and better things in your life or allow the past to keep you grounded.

What do you choose?

—  Joanna Strafford