let's hope i get better

brain: don’t get your hopes up about nominations tuesday
me: if bandstand doesn’t at least get choreo, best actress, lighting design, and orchestration nominations i’ll burn the american theatre wing down

I’m okay with never being fully over you. I like the way your voice sounds in my head. I kind of like when my skin gets hot when you look at me. I love when I look at you and think about all of the memories you gave to me. I like the sparks of hope that burn holes in my heart that one day you’ll dry all of these tears you’ve made me cry. And if you don’t, well then that’s okay too… That’s okay too.
—  I have faith
6

cloti moments i’m excited to see in the remake 2/?

Sam Heughan & Caitriona Balfe attend the 41st Annual People’s Choice Awards at Nokia Theatre L.A. on January 7, 2015.

Hi, I would like to make everyone aware of my situation, as I know I’ve been posting some very worrying, suicidal things lately.  Tomorrow, I will be starting around a week of partial hospitalization therapy, which will be replacing school from around 7-10 days.  I’m not sure if I’ll be allowed to have my phone while I’m there, so I might be offline for extended periods of time.

I’m sorry it had to come to this.

anonymous asked:

HII how do you think JB will be like in a relationship? I constantly think that he wants control and yet lowkey wants to be destroyed lol.

Heeey! Well, anon, I think you’re quite right. lol 

I think he can be very controlling when in a relationship, yes. He has too much Capricorn in his chart not to be. Capricorn talks about fidelity but also being harsh, so he’d be perfect at meeting your needs but would expect the absolute same in return. Can have a hard time discussing the relationship, even when having as many feelings as he does. Will have a lot of trouble communicating properly but his actions would compensate it. He’s the kind that loves to know he’s the one deciding stuff but deep down would want the partner to decide and control other things too. He’s very demanding but would also work his hardest to be the perfect boyfriend. A very observant and caring guy, will take care of everything for his partner. Jaebum definitely needs someone that has a strong personality to deal with his, but someone that’s not as stubborn or else they’d just fight all the time. 

As much as he says he doesn’t like doing it, a lot of unexpected Aegyo would be involved. Especially if caught being inconsistant (like expecting a lot of his partner but being stubborn about his ways).

Originally posted by jaebumiie

(a charming little shit. the kind to start hugging you and saying he loves you when realizing he’s losing an argument)

He can get quite needy, this guy is really intense (Moon conjunct Jupiter in Scorpio). Jealous, possessive. I don’t know how bad it can get ‘cause I don’t have his birth time, but I also think his ego is huge because of the amount of Capricorn ruling his life so he might get really jealous but will try not to show. And then be indirect and dramatic about it until the partner asked what the fuck was going on. lol Capricorn can have a real hard time opening up, but when in a relationship with someone he trusts it’s likely Jaebum will end up ranting a lot about his feelings. Or at least feel a lot more comfortable doing so than with his friends and family. Scorpio also stands for doing absolutely everything for who they love, so after deciding that he truly loves his partner (which can take some time ‘cause Capricorn is very choosy) he’d just constantly be eager to make the person happy, no matter what. In a sacrificing way, even. So he can exaggerate sometimes, which can lead to bad relationships if the person takes advantage of him. But when with someone that is emotionally healthy, Jaebum will honestly be a really good partner to have (the problem is him actually being able to choose wisely lol).

Another thing is that Jaebum is probably someone that goes for the long run - meaning that when he chooses a partner he’ll take it very seriously. Normally people with strong Capricorn placements mate for life. lol So. Definitely the kind to go big or go home, there’s no doubt about it.

The I-Thought-You-Were-Asleep Whump Prompts

“You know, even though your hair is plastered to your forehead and you’re a snotty mess, you’ve never looked lovelier.”

“I love you, and even at your worst, I can’t help but still love you.”

“You could never be a burden, [name], when all I’ve wanted to do is care for you.”

“I wonder why you never look so peaceful when you’re awake. Worry lines have never suited you.”

“When you get better, I hope you’ll let me be a part of it.”

“I don’t get it. You’re cute even when you’re sick. Adorable even.”

“Even now, I want to kiss you.”

“Please get better soon. I can’t stand to see you this way.”

AKUSAIMONTH: DAYTIME MOON
Day 3: Let me clean your wounds.

(can be seen as a continuation to this)

Everything was spinning, at least that’s what it felt like when he woke up. Lea just lay there, waiting for his world to calm down again. He made it, didn’t he? He had seen Isa’s heart … Isa.

Ignoring his dizziness, he opened his eyes and looked up. Isa lay barely an arm’s length away from him. Still … … unconscious. At least, that’s what he hoped it was.

In a sudden panic, he got to his knees and grabbed his shoulders. “Isa!”, he called out his name, shaking him at the same time.

It felt like an eternity before Isa opened his eyes. There was no trace of yellow left in them. Only the greenish blue he remembered from so long ago. Lea felt himself breaking into a smile. All the tension and anxiousness that had kept him on edge this whole time simply fell away from him.
He really made it.

His relief didn’t last long once Isa reached out to him and … shoved him away. His voice sounded hoarse and weak and he didn’t look him in the eye. “Don’t touch me,” he said. Lea felt his heart clench.

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so the thing is: feeling unappreciated and dismissed as a fan isn’t a good thing -even business-wise- because we’re the ones that give this damn band our money. not to even talk about all the time and extra dedication we give up to support nearly any project they do. tho i’m not complaining about that, because we’re here with our own free will. but at the course of the years this band and this fandom have become my safe haven, the place where i feel valued and needed and most importantly happy, because i’m doing something i love. call it a hobby, call it addiction, but this fandom /is/ part of my life.

the hiatus has changed the dynamic among this fandom too, and the upcoming solo projects will do it even more. one thing i can’t stand is the dismission of our importance. it’s been there for some time now, starting from the way they treat us like we’re all 12 years old and mindlessly following “these four hotties”, to the fact that they let media spin us endlessly, to the cold hard truth that they manipulate us. no, it’s not always pr or business, it’s sometimes simple mindfuck. and as (in my case) nearly adult woman, it just can’t go unnoticed anymore. i won’t stand being a secondary fan, someone who just /is/ there but is never as valuable than, let’s say, old dudes who “understand the real music”. i won’t stand it.

and important thing, i don’t blame this on any of the boys personally. the boys i know and have known for years are the ones that always underlined the importance of this fandom. they see and appreciate all the dedication and acceptance and generosity this fandom has and (even if this might sound selfish) they have every reason to do so. sure, their talent and kindness and creativity and determination made them the people they are today, but fandom? we took them /where/ they are today. and boys do know this. heck, even louis twitter bio says so. and yes, i do know some of this is also part of pr they do, but the difference is that this is /for/ the fandom, it works because we want it to work. maybe i’m naive but the reason i’m still here -through all this other bullshit going on while 1d is on undefined hiatus- is exactly that: i, the fan, feel appreciated as i am.

give me validation, and i’ll give you the best damn fan anyone in this industry could hope for.

skystar720  asked:

Hajimama, I'm falling into depression and I really don't want to but everything is piling up. I just want someone to listen, instead of trying to come up with solutions. It's just getting so tiring, keeping up this act that I'm happy and convincing people I'm okay when I'm not. And I wish I could be okay, but, once again, I am not. Sorry if this is annoying, someone showing up and taking about something so trivial. Hope you have a good day, mama.

No, no, don’t worry. You can always come to my inbox when it’s open and just let it out! I can totally understand that feeling though. I hope you get better soon! I love you! 

anonymous asked:

We all have those days. Cheer up, smile. Don't let those things get in your way. I hope it gets better. “A smile is nearly always inspired by another smile… here’s one for you" ⇒ ( ´∀`) (`▽´) (∩_∩) (⌒∇⌒) (☆▽☆) ( ̄∇ ̄) σ(^○^) (*^-^) (^▽^)/ (^ヮ^).. ou okay maybe more than one (: -🍃

thank you

anonymous asked:

its 5:19 am and im not sure if you're taking these anymore. but im scrolling through this blog to remind myself there are others who are suffering like me. im so desperate to let out my emotions and my mistakes but i cant. i feel like my trauma is so specific that it isnt even valid. i wish i was a better person, i wish i could reach out but its always my own hand to put me down. its all my fault, i want to cry so much but its all so numb. the trauma just dulled itself down and im left hollow.