let's go with not

10

sara [lighting carter and ray on fire]: it’s called being SUBTLE about your FEELINGS and I happen to be an EXPERT

My body won’t let me got to sleep until i sketched this out. 

For @saltandlimes damn straight that stuff got crying! Just a lil doodle for her kalluzeb fic ;v;…ohh the feeling and Zeb is so caring ;A;! (That line… that LINEEEEE)

Go read her latest fic: (here)

Very shortly we will be seeing Let’s Go Crazy for the last time.  What a great season it’s been, and especially special to me because it’s the first one in which I’ve been a fan of Yuzu!  Some people say that this fandom is a toxic one, but I extremely disagree.  The Yuzuru Hanyu fandom and the figure skating fandom is general are full of amazing, talented, dedicated, friendly people, and it’s such a special experience to be able to part of it all!

No matter what results he gets in this competition, I hope he enjoys it and that all of us do, too.  Ganbatte, Yuzu, and let’s go crazy!

Keith + the prospect of being the leader.

/  i just want to talk about keith + leadership in terms of his own perception and how he may progress in s3. this is a passing discussion, there’s a whole lot i want to go more extensively into at some point. let me just preface by saying this is a discussion focusing mostly on keith’s own mindset, and i am assessing things as critically and objectively as i can here from the information we’ve been presented with and what we know about this guy so far. 

okAY let’s go!! the thing is that arguably and from what we’ve seen thus far and how keith behaves the only person keith will listen to about shiro is shiro himself. that has a lot of implications for the future. but anyway yea. throughout s2e1 especially we can see just how much keith respects shiro. it’s not putting shiro on a pedestal or idolising him. he cares deeply for this person, will follow them anywhere, do whatever it takes for this person. which also coincidentally does include piloting the black lion, admission he’s not shiro - keith is his own person and that’s okay - but when it comes down to Crunch Time there’s no messing about this is it and there’s no space to hesitate. 

keith sees shiro as a person that he admires and respects, a person who has been this unsuspecting anchor in his life. someone who has literally changed his life. shiro has so much gravity, is integral to his focus and a balancing out the chaotic turbulence in many senses. i mean tbh for me one of the most important canon lines keith ever says - honestly it’s right up there - is THIS.

firstly you can see the unguarded smile and appreciation for this. but also something else important is happening, keith is indulging the conditional + the past simultaneously - something he doesn’t often tend to do tbh. and he’s doing that willingly and so openly with a smile (if it wasn’t for you). he’s allowing himself to think about what’s come and what may be coming. in this moment keith is talking about something extremely personal, alongside showing his gratitude. i’m pretty sure the sheer significance of what keith is saying, how monumental a statement like that is doesn’t go amiss to shiro, which may be why it’s brushed over a little in favour of an easier conversation.

in general, like i’ve said before in many places, keith is a creature of the present and endurance - survival. shiro has helped him reach just a little further for horizons that were never even really seen before. not worth chasing, there’s no big aspirations or dreams. 

shiro offers him the opportunity to be a person and take a path he hadn’t even considered could even be there. to start something with new foundations. not to dream, or hope. to be

not to mention, the second time shiro brings up the subject of keith and leadership in s2e8, once shiro makes it clear if keith is to grow into this role he needs to focus and demonstrate his capabilities. keith backs down.

he doesn’t fight the words or dispute it. that’s what he has to do. there’s just too much to say to go into keith + the blade at this stage so i’m just going to forgo it. i do have a keith + BOM meta coming up. i’ll make sure i do a preface to it on this and a few other scenes i’ve been thinking about. 

back to the actual point: when it comes to taking on leading the team, there is absolutely no way keith is going to let it go and not step up to that task. i mean, we’re talking about someone who literally gets back up pretty much instantly whenever he’s knocked down [s1e10, s2e3, s2e8], someone who doesn’t quit. and it’s not bc he’s being selfish or wants the limelight of being the leader. it’s not anything like that. in his eyes, surrendering the position of leader would be an act of ultimate disrespect to shiro entirely. and to his own self - the person he is CAPABLE of being, that SHIRO thinks he is capable of being.  

that doesn’t mean he won’t have doubts. it doesn’t mean he won’t be feeling overwhelmed at times and lost in some respects. i mean he’s lost the most important person in his life, again. but he endures, he survives. and he endured. he survived out there in the desert. he knows he can work his way through it - given the situation and the fact shiro is gone he doesn’t have much of a choice. people are counting on him, they’re counting on each other. the longer he spends accepting that, the more time they waste, the more they stand to lose. including shiro. 

one thing keith does know better than anything is who he is, and what he’s about. confidence in his actions and self often can be misinterpreted, and his ability to be objective can be seen as detached and cold. both are far from the case. the way keith is perceived by others, set against how he can perceive people [1, 2] is so damn interesting and honestly i think i might save that for a whole new discussion. 

anyway, again: we’ve seen how keith operates in high pressure situations, and we see what he is prepared to do for the mission and shiro AND the team in general time and time again. he says it himself, and this is another line of keith’s i think is just so encompassing and important:

keith is all in. 

we know this, we’ve seen this. as aforementioned we see time and time again just how far keith is compelled to go for a cause. this is one hell of a cause. the universe and shiro. more than this, shiro’s words. and we also see how keith holds onto the words shiro gives him. he’s shown in s2e1 to be repeating shiro’s words to himself, and again in s2e1.

also. i am 100% convinced that in the pinnacle moment when shiro is getting the team back on track in s2e13 keith is thinking patience yields focus and eternalising it. because each time he says this phrase out loud it is preceded by a deep sigh or exhaling of breath, his eyes closing for a moment as he grounds himself and focuses himself on the very words. there’s a very specific way he delivers and is seen to be dealing with this line. (that’s just really exciting to think about ahHHH look below)

so honeSTLY, like hell is he going to do an injustice to shiro and his words and turn his back on them. like hell is he going to back down and throw in the towel for the sake of his own self. 

keith will want to prove that he can be the leader. his entire life has probably been set against a backdrop of people thinking he won’t amount to much, laden will all kinds of assumptions that bleed constantly into how his actions and words are misinterpreted. there’s no goal and focus - the garrison gives him a chance to explore something he is inherently good at, but keith isn’t the same breed as many cadets in the sense that they may have dreamed of being a pilot for a long time. keith flies. he also damn good at it. that’s pretty much the extent of it. 

voltron and shiro combined, the team, all of this comes into play in shaping something even more unwavering inside him. keith has always been resolved at seeing things get done and finishing a task. in a situation like this, it’s tenfold. 

and even more: he wants to become the person shiro sees in him, he wants to earn that unyielding belief and prove he can do this. he has done it before, perhaps not to the magnitude this asks of him, but he has been able to in the height of a pressing moment give out a command to the team, alongside steer them in the right direction effectively. something not worth overlooking with keith is the fact he doesn’t falter in his actions [1, 2]. keith is able to make quick decisions in tough situations. because every word and action has purpose he commits wholeheartedly to. he’s all in, again. that’s it that’s the mantra that is just so so keith and integral to him. 

here’s a few quick examples of that put into practice: 

also he knows he’s not shiro. keith is pretty self-aware [see links above that talk is somewhere up there lol]. like i said, he knows what he’s about. he’s not going to try and step into shadows that aren’t his own and fill boots that don’t belong to him. that’s not right to shiro, and it wouldn’t make sense to do that from where he’s standing. he doesn’t want to try and be shiro. he wants to be a person shiro and the team the universe can count and depend on. trying to be shiro or become shiro is off the cards. it’s not taking shiro’s place or being a replacement. it’s assuming command on his own terms in the way shiro believes he can. 

he’ll carve his own path just as he has done in the past, apply what shiro has shown him and become his own person and in turn his own leader.

TLDR: 

keith will endeavour to become the person that would make shiro proud. the person that will do as shiro asked of him, doing what shiro believed he was capable of doing. lead the team forwards in adversity and keep going. 

he wants to honour those words, he’ll cherish them. hold them close and pour every fibre of his being into living by them no matter what. 

“In Blackwater Woods”, Mary Oliver

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars

of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders

of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is

nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it
go,
to let it go.

Fantasy Suite for Saxophone Quartet

Here’s my comp! (A minature suite for saxophone quartet). There are probably mistakes and such everywhere so please feel free to point them out.

(Please note some of the dyanmic effects, trills [made tremolo just so sibelius will play] and articulation details aren’t quite accurate for sib. sounds).

Here’s a link to the score (plus it has the movement names/inspirations) if that helps! https://drive.google.com/open?id=0Bwfmde_57MkMbnJTXzRSZWJyVnNFVXM5T0lhQXpiVmpnX2Y4

Any comments (compliment or criticism) from anyone are welcome, thank you!