If she chooses you please, I beg of you, hold her hand when she’s nervous and when she isn’t, Never stop responding to her when you’re angry, talk it out because she will lose sleep wondering if things will be the same come morning and if they can be fixed, Over time she will blame herself for the flaws in the relationship, Remind her you’re equally at fault but there will always be things that are out of your control, you’re stronger together.
If she chooses you, please listen to her talk about soccer and the gym, She’s addicted to the competitiveness of games and to the rolling wave of a high she gets when she pushes her body, Take her to see her favorite team and cheer her on as much as she cheers the team on.
If she chooses you, I ask that you show her every ounce of respect you have, She may come with a bite but she is gentle, She teases and taunts, but if you look at her eyes right before she looks away you’ll see she is afraid of losing something important, She takes herself more seriously than she lets anyone know, So be gentle with her.
If she chooses you, wash her hair for her when she bathes and let her squeeze you firmly when she gets into bed next to you, she’ll loosen up when she realizes you aren’t going anywhere.
If she chooses you, please pay attention to the little things, Like the way she pouts and curls in on herself getting silent, You don’t have to talk to her in those moments, just be there with her, She’ll love you for it.
If she chooses you, plan adventures with her, Go hiking even if it’s too hot or too cold, and make sure you bring an extra jacket in case she gets cold, a blanket too, Take her to see the things you see beauty in, including herself in the mirror each morning.
If she chooses you, fight for her when she’s stubborn and always wait for her with an open place next to you in your bed, Don’t let somebody else lay in her spot, She belongs there.
If she chooses you, cook for her on the days she spends resting, She exhilarates herself so much that she often forgets to take a break, Feed her and keep her company, Be there when she wakes.
If she chooses you, understand how damn lucky you are, There is no competition greater than the one of capturing more than her heart, If she gives it all to you, please take care of it, Take care of her.
this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion. i’ve divided it up into two categories ( light & dark ) based on the themes. some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions. please be cautious before continuing on!!
L I G H T
‘ at night i dream of you. ’ ‘ don’t give up yet. you still have time to fix things. ’ ‘ falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack. ’ ‘ i am still so weak when it comes to you. ’ ‘ i can’t believe i let myself let you down. ’ ‘ i don’t care where we go when we die, as long as i’m with you. ’ ‘ i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late. ’ ‘ i feel so warm & safe when you talk to me. maybe i could love you if you’d let me. ’ ‘ i finally let the right people in & i have never felt so loved. ’ ‘ i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone. ’ ‘ i lived in your permafrost for twenty years & then you looked at me & i felt the warmth of spring. ’ ‘ i once wished you’d leave me alone, but i take it back. ’ ‘ i want to be able to love someone else, but you stretch your arms & spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else. ’ ‘ i want to believe that we got it right this time. ’ ‘ i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely. ’ ‘ i would travel across the world to be by your side, because as long as you are with me, anywhere is a perfect place to me. ’ ‘ it took me awhile to realize it myself, but you are not what other people say you are. ’ ‘ it’s not that i really need you, but life would be pretty boring without you around. there’s no one i would rather be with. ’ ‘ i’d like to stay like this for awhile. ’ ‘ life & death don’t have to be so boring, let’s make both an adventure. ’ ‘ life imitates art, they say. i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke. ’ ‘ live your life so that when you die, souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales. ’ ‘ make your exes jealous & your past self proud. ’ ‘ maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on. ’ ‘ never get caught falling harder. they’ll never let you back up. ’ ‘ please don’t go. ’ ‘ some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it & succumb. ’ ‘ sometimes, you’ll find it hard to keep going, but you always will. ’ ‘ the desire i feel for you is that same itching, insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction. ’ ‘ the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad. ’ ‘ there is absolutely nothing & no one who can stop me. ’ ‘ there is no route of losing you that is without pain. ’ ‘ there’s still room for adventure & there is no one i’d rather have by my side. ’ ‘ things didn’t turn out the way i planned, but i’m alright with that. ’ ‘ we could be really incredible together, you know? ’ ‘ you are beautiful & vibrant & confident. you are light & laughter incarnate & every fiber of your being screams freedom & joy. when i am with you, i am truly happy. ’ ‘ you are starlight incarnate, from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think. blessed are any to be loved by you. ’ ‘ you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you. ’ ‘ you call me yours & i have no idea what that even means to you. ’ ‘ you remind me of bubblegum & sweets; soft & pink & warm. you are strong in the gentlest way. you are so stubbornly kind. i wish i could be like that. ’ ‘ you still visit me while i sleep sometimes. your fingers trace my spine & i listen to you breathe. please stop haunting me. ’ ‘ ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you. ’
D A R K
‘ a thousand empty bottles & fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day. ’ ‘ everyone else has moved on, but i am still here. ’ ‘ everything about you screams danger. ’ ‘ everything is worthless to you & you, in turn, became worthless. ’ ‘ for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress. ’ ‘ freedom is really hard to get used to. ’ ‘ how could you do this to me? how fucking could you? ’ ‘ i am becoming everything we always dreamed of & i am leaving you behind. ’ ‘ i buried you so well that you might as well have died. ’ ‘ i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead & not the monster you became. ’ ‘ i can’t look at you. not now, not ever. ’ ‘ i don’t ask how you’ve been. what’s the point? you’d lie anyways. ’ ‘ i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest. ’ ‘ i haunted this house first. there is no room for you here. ’ ‘ i have a right to be upset. i loved them too, you know. ’ ‘ i just want it to end. i want it to all go away. i want to go away. ’ ‘ i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous. ’ ‘ i saw your face today & didn’t feel anything. i am free. ’ ‘ i tried to save you, but you didn’t want to be saved. you just wanted someone to suffer with you. ’ ‘ it’s almost as if you were never here. ’ ‘ it’s unhealthy to do these things, you tell me. you say it’s time to stop smoking, time to stop gambling, & dammit, i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you. i sure hope you’re right, darling. ’ ‘ i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind ’ ‘ i’m not really scared to die. i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone. ’ ‘ i’m not the person you left behind anymore. there’s no one here to miss. ’ ‘ i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive. ’ ‘ i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals & ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you. ’ ‘ i’ve never been completely satisfied. i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death. ’ ‘ no motive other than pleasure, my dear. ’ ‘ one day i’ll go or you will. either way, it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself. ’ ‘ our dreams & promises decay along with you. ’ ‘ the leaves change, but nothing else does. ’ ‘ the only difference between avoiding & leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you. ’ ‘ there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you. ’ ‘ there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage. ’ ‘ things aren’t going as i hoped. maybe if i die, i can start over again? better luck next time. ’ ‘ this is not something to be proud of. this is a tragedy. ’ ‘ trying to get rid of me? oh honey, you’ll have to try much harder than that. ’ ‘ trying to get under my skin? you’re nothing more than a pesky itch. ’ ‘ unlike you, i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger. ’ ‘ weeping is for gods & martyrs, we cannot afford such luxuries. ’ ‘ would you even miss me? ’ ‘ you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart. ’ ‘ you complain nonstop about being unloved & alone, i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true. ’ ‘ you don’t know what it’s like. ’ ‘ you made this so fucking easy for me. ’ ‘ you should see me as a threat. i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you. i am a walking threat. ’ ‘ you think i’m already gone, but i’m still fighting. ’ ‘ you think i’m dead, but i’m just dying. ’ ‘ you were never an addiction, you were a fucking disease. ’ ‘ you wouldn’t dare cross me. i am god & you are the soil beneath my feet. ’ ‘ your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity. ’ ‘ your fingers are so cold & bruised, but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference. ’ ‘ your hair is tied in a noose & your fingernails are razor blades, your lips are poison & i will gratefully kiss them. ’ ‘ your hatred has a body count & we will not forget. ’ ‘ your loss, not mine. ’ ‘ you’re a sick fuck. you know that? ’ ‘ you’re not gentle with me & i would never ask you to be. ’ ‘ you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore, it’s a pit. ’
Another Wednesday, another Hiveswap development team interview!
Hey there folks, we’re back to our new normal: it’s Ash here once again! I’ve returned from my brief outing to E3 last week and – don’t you worry – I’ve got a brand-new Hiveswap development team interview lined up for you today, just as scheduled!
But before we get to that, I’d like to toss a great, big “Thanks, man!” Cohen’s way for posting last week’s interview in my stead and, in fact, interviewing me so I didn’t have to very awkwardly interview myself. I may not be a super-cool artist or animator, but hopefully you all found what I had to say to be sufficiently interesting nonetheless!
But speaking of our illustrious creative types, today I’ve got an interview lined up with James Roach, Hiveswap’s sound designer and lead composer! These weekly interviews have been focusing mostly on the game’s visual elements and aspects up to now, but why should eyes get all the love? Not that eyes aren’t awesome and all, but I have it on good authority that ears everywhere are alsolooking forward to Hiveswap. Fortunately, James has very graciously prepared a smattering of Hiveswap sound samples for you to listen to as you read through the interview, so be sure to get equipped with some headphones before you begin!
Take it away, James!
Introduce yourself to the fans! What is your specific role on the Hiveswap team?
I’m James Roach, and I’m the Sound Designer for Hiveswap! I teamed up with [Undertale creator and composer] Toby Fox to compose the soundtrack for the game. I’m also responsible for most of the game’s sound effects and ambient sound alongside Marcy Nabors!
When and how did you get your start on the Hiveswap project?
When I saw the opportunity I reached out to What Pumpkin and sent along my portfolio. I was never part of the “Homestuck music team” in any official capacity, but I was pretty active in the community, so they knew of my work. I was as surprised as any of you when they offered me a job! They paired me up with Toby, who at that point was already a Homestuck music veteran. We’ve both been on the project ever since then.
Tell us a little bit about your career background! How did you get your start in music and sound design? Do you have any advice for others looking to enter this field?
I have been playing piano since I was about four years old. My family and culture have a strong musical tradition, and my mom thought playing music would keep me out of trouble. I got my start scoring web cartoons and doing freelance work. I only started doing sound design in the last few years out of necessity. A friend needed sound work done for their thesis film and had nobody else to do it, and I can’t leave a friend hanging! As far as advice goes, I recommend having your work accessible and easy to find. Make connections and be easy to work with. Being reliable, consistent, and professional will go a lot further than solely being good at something.
We’re making a video game, so of course the question must be asked: what’s your favorite game of all time, and what games are you playing currently?
The first game I remember having a big impact on me was The Legend of Zelda on the NES. My favorite game of all time is probably Bastion, but I don’t play a ton of video games anymore. I play a lot of Dungeons & Dragons. It’s all I ever talk about. My friends are so tired of me. Anyway, did you know a group of Myconids is called a “Circle?” Myconids are like cool mushroom guys that live underground. A lot of people think they might have a hive mind, but did you know they communicate using spores? Another cool thing about Myconids is–
Are there any games that you currently use or have used as inspiration for your own music and sound work here on Hiveswap, or just in general?
Obvious notes are stuff like Transistor, Luigi’s Mansion, Monkey Island, and so on and so forth. A lot of the inspiration for Hiveswap’s soundtrack comes less from games and more from my own musical and cultural background. There’s also a third-wave ska song. I have a really complicated relationship with ska.
As someone who writes music for video games, surely you must have a favorite video game composer or two (or three)! Who are they and what games have they scored?
You can’t talk about video game music without mentioning Nobuo Uematsu (the Final Fantasy series’ original composer) in some capacity, and his work has always been an inspiration to me. I think there’s an obvious Darren Korb (Supergiant Games) influence on my work as well. I’m really looking forward to hearing more of the Pyre soundtrack. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that Toby has greatly influenced my work, since I worked with him specifically on this, but he absolutely has. The way he writes counter-melodies is phenomenal.
What’s your workstation like? Do you listen to any particular kinds of music while you work? If so, tell us about it!
Because I’ve been doing a lot of Foley work, I have this bizarre assortment of things lying around everywhere in my apartment for the weird, specific sounds they make. I’ve had this bundle of straws (which I flick rapidly to make monster footstep sounds) on my desk for weeks. There’s a broken umbrella (perfect for a monster’s wing flapping) hanging on the door, and a big pot with a fork and a broken slinky in it (scraped and slapped together to make creepy, echoey laser sounds) just lying around too. It’s a disaster to live in.
Favorite Homestuck character?
Favorite Homestuck ship?
I used to be all about Intermission shipping, but it’s a little complicated to get into.
Favorite Homestuck flash?
I think like most people who started reading as a carryover from Problem Sleuth, “WV: Ascend” was the big “Whoa!” moment for me, so it’s always had a special place in my heart.
Do you have a personal message you’d like to relay to all the Homestuck and Hiveswap fans out there?
Where can people find more of your work? Link us to your own little corner(s) of the Internet!
Whenever you close your eyes and open your heart… I will be there. No, I’m kidding – please follow me. You can find me on Twitter and SoundCloud!
“Can’t hoooold on much longer… But I will neeee-ver let go!…” –oh, wait, I’m back on? Sorry about that, James’ last answer there brought out my inner Crush 40 fanboy. (Sonic Adventure had a killer soundtrack though, didn’t it?) Thank you again for letting us pick your brain for a while, James – and for those lovely sound samples, of course!
so like. a taz coffeeshop au. but it’s just john being there on open mic night and playing acoustic guitar really badly and reading bad hipster indie boy poetry.
and everyone can’t stand him but it’s open mic night and if they heckle him he’ll call the health & safety inspectors (john works for the city and keeps razing historical buildings) and they’ve been trying to find something to with which to shut down merle’s coffeshop with since he said some weird stuff about those potted plants on the counter during the first inspection. they have a grudge, merle says, and john is a petty itchy-trigger-finger morrissey bastard.
so they let john be up on the stage, for twenty minutes straight, talking about how he’s figured out the limitations that bind humans and that he’s the only one that has it all figured out, yeah yeah yeah, we get it, you listen to the smiths a lot, this is all a metaphor for your ex, please let angus go up there with his flute he’s been learning how to play the harry potter theme and he’s so excited to perform for everyone, we get it john, oh my god
A.N: i’m not christian so i’m sorry if any of what i say is offensive,, im trying not to mention as much religion…
His hands started to give out from holding his weight up for so long, so he hovered above on his elbows for support. That deepened the kiss. Tongue was everywhere, you wouldn’t even know what the goal was with this tongue. His crotch brushed against hers, a slight tough but enough to make him moan her name ever so loudly into her neck.
“Oh, Y/N,” he sighed into her neck. He placed small kisses on her neck and on her shoulder, moving back up to her neck. He was having the time of his life. As for her, she stared up at the ceiling. In lust? In desperation? Was she grabbing onto his shirt, desperate for a deeper touch? No. She stared at the ceiling, her eyes filled with boredom, her breathing stable, her body stiff as wood. The routine was simple and the same. Her five year long boyfriend would come over for steak and mashed potatoes for dinner with her parents, sometimes it was with mac and cheese when her mom felt adventurous! Then they’d go up to her room for their 7-8 study session, only to turn into an intense make out session. Or an intense make out session for him. But it never ended with sex. The Lord would not approve of premarital sex. Please do not break the routine.
He let out a grunt and placed one last kiss to her collarbone, letting out a deep sigh. He lifted his head above hers and touched their noses, rubbing his tip against hers. “God, I want to marry you,” he sighed. His eyes were still closed in lust as he savored her smell, the taste of her. Her eyes were wide open, her lips forming a fake smile to show him she was just as enthusiastic as he was. His eyes opened to meet hers and he returned a bigger smile to her. He kissed the tip of her nose and slowly made his way off of her, letting out a loud groan as he made his way up. He sat back on the bed and watched as she made her way up as well, her hair just slightly messed up from the slight head movements on the pillow, her lips glistening from spit and chap stick. Their eyes met and his smile turned into a smirk, proud of his work of art. She placed her hands in her lap and returned a small smile. He furrowed his eyebrows and reached up to move a strand of hair away from her face.
Tove Jansson wrote the above when she was very young, as an almost defiant statement. It is very clear that her whole life was defined by this very thought. She spent her entire life trying to define freedom, searching for freedom and making sacrifices to keep her freedom. This also shows in her writing. If one was forced to choose the most important theme in Moomin books, it would be freedom.
For Tove, being free often meant being able to pursue her dreams and goals as she chose for herself. This meant that she would be able to make art as she wanted. As a woman in the early 1900s, that was never easy. Women of the time were expected and encouraged to give up personal goals to support and nurture a family. Tove saw this first hand at her own home, where her mother dedicated everything she had to take care of her husband and children. Ham had very little free time and her career was mostly meant to support the family when her husband’s income as a sculptor was not enough. Ham took up tedious drawing assignments and would draw late into the night. Tove’s father Faffan was instead free to pursue his passion. Ham was emotionally available and always there for her children. It is clear she loved her role as a mother, but Tove was always worried her mother was giving too much of herself away.
It is understandable that Tove herself was very reluctant about marriage and family. Getting married would mean giving up her career and tying herself to the role of a mother. On the other hand, Tove was very emotional and yearned for romantic connection, so she often played with the thought. When Tove was in love, she had the habit of losing herself completely in it. Her mentor and lover Sam Vanni even warned her against this. He told Tove not to lose herself in anyone so she would no longer be able to create as herself. She played with the thought of marriage and becoming a “politicians little wife” when she fell in love with Atos Wirtanen and truly wanted to marry him. But as Atos was emotionally distant and valued people not getting too attached to each other or things, Tove was never able to commit the way she might have wanted to. Like Snufkin tells us: “You can never be free if you admire someone too much.”
Her yearning for freedom was also why Tove was very reluctant about motherhood. She saw having children as the biggest responsibility and commitment a person could ever do. Sometimes Tove yearned for children, sometimes she was terrified of the thought. Eventually she never had children of her own.
This is why her own atelier and home was so important to Tove. It was her own sanctuary where she was free to create, decorate and isolate herself when needed. No matter how deeply in love she fell, Tove was never ready to give up her home. When she was ready to marry Atos Wirtanen, she always pictured herself still keeping the apartment so she would have her own place. Having that option and autonomy was essential. When she fell in love with Tuulikki, they both still kept their separate apartments always. Their apartments were right next to each other though. Even today, Tove’s atelier is left untouched in Ullanlinna.
Tove would often share her thoughts and questions about freedom in an indirect way in her writing. Moomin books have characters who yearn for freedom, protect the freedom they have or are terrified of freedom. There are also many ways to be free and sometimes a character may not like the freedom they get. Almost completely restricted characters without freedom are often miserable. Characters like Fillyjonks and Hemulens lack freedom the most, often because of their own actions. Hemulens see freedom as a threat to the order they are trying to create. If people have freedom, they will stop doing things like Hemulens are telling them to! And if they do not do as Hemulens have told, they will do things all wrong. Fillyjonks also fear freedom, but not because of others; they fear what freedom will do to themselves. Fillyjonks want to organize everything neatly and live orderly, restricted lives. If life is resticted, it will not offer any scary surprises. In Moominvalley in November, both Hemulen and Fillyjonk need to let go of their restrictions to control others or themselves. When they let freedom in, they both become happier people.
On the other end, completely free characters without anything to bind them to anyone are not seen as truly happy or even that admirable. Hattifatteners represent pure freedom. They have no desires or regrets. They do not have families or enemies. When Moominpappa elopes with them in Secret of the Hattifatteners, he begins to doubt if Hattifatteners even have actual thoughts. They only live to pursue the endless horizon. They only form groups because it’s easier to sail away that way. Hattifatteners are so free that they do not even have a destination, only the journey. When Moominpappa realizes what kind of life this absolute freedom means, he immediately runs back home.
Moominpappa is actually a character who is torn between wanting freedom and wanting connections. His character is actually first introduced to us in The Moomins and the Great Flood as a father who has left his family to go adventuring. Despite yearning for freedom, Moominpappa does love his family and is actually very fond of his comfortable life. His anxiety about this is explored in that short story where he elopes with the Hattifatteners. He leaves without a warning because he simply wants to adventure and be free. But when he is faces with absolute freedom and all it means, he is simply terrified. In the end Moominpappa returns home to his porch, because that is the place where he can be just as free as a father needs to be.
Another character who is torn between freedom and his connections with others is actually Snufkin. At first it might appear that he is an independent person who has all the best things freedom can offer. In Finn Family Moomintroll, he simply jumps up one day and leaves just because being always in one valley with all these people around him is making him anxious. And just like that, he can also return whenever he feels like it. In Moominsummer Madness he is very late just because he had some business to take care of and in a short story, Spring Tune, he outright states that he does not have to return to Moominvalley at all. But despite his protests, Snufkin is not as free as he would like. He cannot make the spring tune because he keeps thinking about Moomintroll and how much Moomintroll must be missing him. Even his leaving each autumn eventually resembles a rebellion more than actual choice. Snufkin is essentially tied down by his pursue for freedom. In Moominvalley in November he finally realizes that he was free all the time even with the family there, because they always let him be free. That is when he lets go of his pursue and does not leave for that winter. He just does what he feels like, finally truly free.
Moomin family is all about letting others live as they please. Narrator even tells us that in Moomin family, everyone is free to do what they please because they have agreed not to worry about each other. Whenever someone wants to go on an adventure, they can go ahead and do just that. And trust that others will be there to welcome them back. Characters like Snufkin or Moominpappa just need to realize that freedom is not the same as leaving, it’s having the choice to leave or stay as you please. Once again, the character who seems to realize this the best is Little My. She is so independent that she can go by herself whenever she wants but also cares enough about others to happily stay. She never questions the grand philosophy behind freedom or actively pursues it until her shoes are filled with holes. She just does what she wants and that is her freedom.
“There are those who leave and those who stay, it has always been like that. Everyone can make the choice by themselves, but you have to choose in time, and never give up.”
Please God let Jackie be more than a plot device for Star and Marco drama in Season 3. Please let her show up in more than one episode and actually do things and develop as a character. Please let her stay friends with Star and the gang and go on adventures with them. Please don’t forget about her once Star and Marco resolve things. And for the love of god please don’t have Marco go “whoops I’m suddenly in love with Star now and all the time I spent pining for Jackie and eventually dating her meant nothing lol”.
There probably won’t be an Insomnia update tomorrow. I got pretty busy this weekend preparing for my trip to Europe, and tomorrow I’m gonna be busy too. Lines got done, and some pages got sketched, but thaaaaat’s kinda it > >
Additionally this is a reminder that I’m going to be out of the country for most of March (the 3rd to the 23) so you won’t see much of me here then D=
Thank you for being understanding <3
(Also imma be wandering around Florence, Zurich, Munich, Copenhagen and Oslo for most of the trip. If any of you have suggestions for things to see/do at these locations let me know please. I’m mostly winging all of this.)
please for the love of Thor let me just have a boring day, I don't want adventures, I just want to sleep in for once in my miserable life.
I haven't incited an incredibly dangerous situation in over 18 hours, this is ridiculous and I REFUSE to sit still, I am literally going to jump off of a cliff today, I will cause and solve so many problems for these dragons just you watch dad look i'm going to get struck by lightning it's gonna be GREAT
My book with an autistic character is nearly in the top 20 Amazon Steampunk chart!
Kay, so, it’s been on sale over the weekend and it’s literally sitting at #21 right now.
I was going to raise the price today, but I’m going to leave it at 99c until tomorrow to see if I can push it to the Top 20 because that would be amazing!
If you haven’t heard me go on about it before, The Lady Ruth Constance Chapelstonce Chronicles are about an autistic, ace/aro woman who builds herself a robot husband to avoid having to marry. There is lots of fun and adventuring and hijinks.
So, if you fancy reading, the entire series is just 99c today and if you get it today, it might just get pushed over onto the front page of steampunk, which would be AMAZING!
(I’ve had no one complain about the price and I’m only getting royalties as if it’s 99c, but it is showing up on my machine as the original price. If it’s not discounted for you, please let me know so that I can go and ask Amazon wtf they’re playing at.)
A/N: So I got distracted playing Mass Effect, so I’m sorry if this seems
Warnings: Idk last time this made people cry so grab tissues.
Word Count: 1, 450
“Well I am, so please move…I’m sorry”
This was the
tenth time I replayed the past events in my head. I feel like I didn’t even take
time to think about how Dan felt with all of this? Overwhelmed? Guilty? All I
remember was leaving our home, my already red, puffy eyes flickering up to his
glossy ones. I didn’t know where to go. I was too impulsive…maybe I should have
just lied about what was wrong with me? No. Phil was right the best thing to do
is get it off my shoulders. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, I let out a
big sigh and checked what it was.
Dan: Y/N where are you?
Dan: Y/N I’m sorry. Are you okay?
Y/N: I’m fine Dan. Pls don’t tell me you’re out looking for me.
Dan: look you left, and we need to talk about this.
Y/N: Hard pass
Dan: you can’t just “hard pass” your way out of this.
Y/N: Just did.
I closed my
eyes, looking up at the beautiful London night sky. It was mostly just black,
but with some stars scattered in different places lighting up the sky. I
guess there’s something to calm me down. That thought quickly escaped my
mind when I felt my phone vibrate again.
Phil: Found you
Y/N: sounds like ur bout to murder me m8
Phil: Shut up, turn around.
I sat up on
the bench, and twisted around in my seat to see Phil standing a few feet away.
The moment I made eye contact with him all I could see was sympathy in his
eyes. I almost broke down crying again but I was already drained from the
previous crying. I got up from the bench and ran towards Phil, he caught me in
a warm embrace. After a few moments, we pulled away and I tried my best to give
him a small smile.
to talk to Dan.” Phil said in a very stern voice.
too.” I groaned, rolling my eyes.
your problems isn’t going to do anything to help."
don’t tell me you told Dan where I was.” The second after I said that, I
heard a relieved gasp from behind me. I turned around, but I was greeted with
someone throwing their arms around my waist. I almost instantly knew who it
was. Black coat, scruffy brown hair, and that distinct scent that emitted off
of his body. Dan. I felt my throat go dry, and my heart rate increased.
I started shaking my head, and pushed Dan off of me.
is done. See you guys back home.” Phil laughed. I stared at him with a
questioning look. Why was he LAUGHING at this?
told you not to-” I turned my attention back to Dan, but I was still
avoiding eye contact.
to interrupt you. Let me talk.” Dan put his finger up so I would stay
please. I know what you’re going to say and-” Before I could even say the
rest of my sentence, Dan grabbed my cheeks and pulled me in for a warm, soft
kiss. I wanted to reject it, because I knew he was taken. He was dating a
beautiful, adventurous girl that I could never be compared to. But I couldn’t
help myself. I melted under his touch and as cheesy, and cliché as it sounds,
the kiss felt magical. He pulled away and smiled at me.
talk now?” He smirked, still holding my cheeks. I felt my face heat up,
and I knew that my face was super red. I was still caught up in his kiss. I
still felt his lips lingering on mine even though they weren’t even there.
you do that, Dan? You’re dating Allison.” Reality hit me, and I took his
hands off my face. I stared at the ground after a realization that I’ll never
be able to kiss him again.
not.” Dan’s voice got softer, and my eyes flickered up to his. His eyes
looked at me with care, and love. I felt a spark go off in my stomach, has
he always looked at me like that?
do you mean?”
lying when I said we got in a fight. She actually broke up with me because she
knew I still loved you.”
you…what? Still?” My eyes lit up and I was staring into his wonderful
know where to start really. The moment we met I knew you were going to be this
amazing person, and I adored you almost instantly. I spent my time convincing
myself I wasn’t good enough for you and that you would never have feelings for
me back. So I moved on.” He shrugged his shoulders and now he was the one
avoiding eye contact.
I felt my
heart sink, and I tried searching in his eyes to see if I was able to tell if
he was lying or not.
met Allison. She’s an amazing girl don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t lying when I
said I thought I felt something strong with her. That’s only because I was
still in denial that I still had feelings for you. Then earlier today when she
broke up with me, it did hurt. I thought she was my only chance at having a
long lasting relationship because I thought there were unrequited feelings between
me and the person I really loved.” He grabbed my hand and stared at it for
a while. He started stroking the back of my hand with his thumb and continued
talking. “But I lied to you because…I don’t know actually. I felt
vulnerable and pathetic."
I lifted my free hand to his cheek. He leaned into my touch instantly, closing
his eyes. I dropped my hand from his cheek and he looked into my eyes again.
you told me you loved me, and that me dating Allison hurt you a lot. I thought
‘damn, only I can fuck up this much.” He chuckled, trying to lighten the
mood. “I saw how hurt you were and I felt…well saying guilty is an
understatement. So I tried to explain myself, like I’m doing right now. But you
being the stubborn bugger you are, you didn’t give me a chance to speak.”
I didn’t know
what to say. I got lost in his eyes for a while. Trying to process everything
he said. He loved me? Wait not loved, he LOVES me. I felt so relieved
and happy, I burst into happy tears. A change from all the sad tears I spilt
god did I fuck up again? What did I say? Y/N are you okay?” Dan let go of
my hand and backed away from me, scared that he hurt me again. I shook my head,
laughing at his reaction.
okay Dan. I’m beyond okay.” I opened my arms, and wrapped them around his
neck. I held onto him tightly, scared that I would choke him, I loosened my
grip around his neck. I felt him wrap his arms around my waist, holding me
sorry for everything I put you through, Y/N. I never intended to hurt
you.” He nuzzled his face into my neck. The feeling of his hot breath
caused shivers to go down my spine.
you didn’t Dan. I love you.” I pulled away from him, though I left my arms
still wrapped around his neck.
you too, Y/N.” Dan smiled at me, his eyes flicking down to my lips then
back to my eyes.
thinking of that kiss from earlier too?” I chuckled, leaning my forehead
He looked into my eyes one more time before pulling me into another kiss. My
hands went up to his hair, and I felt his grip tighten on my waist.
should get out of the cold.” I pulled away to catch my breath.
might be a good idea.” He laughed, pulling away from me.
On the walk
back to our flat, we laughed, telling stories of random things that happened to
us over the past week. Our hands were intertwined the whole way. I knew this is
where I wanted to be, I didn’t have to decide where to go because I already
knew. With Dan, I was already home. I finally knew how it felt to be adored by
him, and I was never going to let what we have go.
[a/n: if you click on the lyrics, the song will play]
The credits rolled on the second Disney movie of the evening, signalling the bedtime of Baekhyun’s own little princess.
“I think that was my favourite,” Baekhyun exclaimed enthusiastically, stretching out his arms and legs before hugging his daughter against his side. In truth, all the princess films he had been made to watch since finding out he had a daughter were starting to blur together into handsome princes, catchy singing and good triumphing over evil. However, the Disney torture was bearable because of the smile it put on Zoe’s face.
Like the one she was beaming at him right now.
“Really Daddy?” she asked brightly, turning on the spot to face him properly and curl up like a little puppy.
Baekhyun ran his delicate fingers down her rosy cheek, smoothing her hair back off her face. “Definitely in the top ten,” he replied, beaming down at her with an ecstatic smile.
Zoe looked down at her hands, nibbling on her bottom lip like she was nervous about something. Like she had something to say.
Author’s Note: I saw a gif earlier of Stiles and had to write something on it. It’s crazy how long it can take me to write a semi-long fic and have it actually be good. As always, thanks to the amazing hoe that is @mf-despair-queen for proofreading this for me. She’s amazing and I love her!!
a well-meaning but misguided fool:
garfield the deals warlock has been serving his true master all along, Jon Hunger Arbuckle
my shit-ass brain:
garfield the deals warlock has clearly malicious purposes, but his purposes are not aligned with his one-time companion, Jon Hunger Arbuckle, and if his allegiance ever was with jon it has long since been betrayed. but make no mistake, the fact that he works against jon does not make the deals warlock a hero - he is no doubt another villain, perhaps even an even greater villain, and whatever garfield’s true intentions they are surely a cursed and unfathomable grab for power that will spare no one in its unholy path, including jon, maybe even Especially jon as garfield slurps up that vore plane like a bunch of lazagne in a horrible act of Vore Vore,