let's get insulting with the doctor!

Joker x deaf!Reader   Part 5

Y/N winced when the guards brought J to the room, although she couldn’t have looked much better herself. His eye was swollen and he had a busted lip. Her cheek was only slightly swollen from where the guard hit her, but despite the pain she forced a smile.

“Hey, Mr.J.” He glared at her, which caused her heart to fall. Please don’t blame me for any of this. As soon as the guards left she leaned in.

“I got your letter.” He continued to glare at her.

“The one with the money? The note?” His face broke out into a grin.

“Tell me how you got here, Y/N.”


“Aw c’mon. Do you really think they would let a deaf doctor treat The Joker? Me? This is insulting. Whose pants did you have to get into to get to be my shrink?” He snarled. Her hands were sweating as she gritted her teeth. She forced herself to look away and ignored him as he kicked the table. When she gained enough courage to look back at him, she noticed his eyes were dilated.

“Mr.J did they give you something?”

He blinked a couple of times before a dopey grin lit up his face.

“Wha?” She sighed in relief, but her heart still stung from his words.

“This isn’t right. You’re my patient. They should notify me before giving you anything.” She muttered to herself before looking back at J.

“I’m going to need to take your blood.” J’s grin faltered a bit.

“My blood? Like the blood in my body?” Y/N snorted.

She knocked on the door and informed the guards on what she wanted to do.

“Can I have a cookie?” J asked her, but her back was turned as she was communicating with the guards.

“Doc? Can I have a cookie?” Y/N saw the guards glare at J and she turned around.

“Do you need something, Mr. J?” He smiled at her like a little kid.

“I want a cookie. Dark chocolate.” Y/N smiled and turned to the guards.

“And get him a cookie. Dark chocolate.” She shut the door as they headed off to get the equipment.

“Ok, Mr.J. I’m going to take the straitjacket off so we can take your blood.” She leaned over him and started to undo the straps. Before she could pull away, he placed a kiss on her lips. She jumped back in surprise, knocking her spine against the table.

“Mr.J, you-you can’t do that. It’s unprofessional.” J smiled at her and laughed.

“Doc, don’t you feel the same way? C’mon.” He finished taking the straitjacket off of him and stayed sitting.

“Is it cold in here?”  Y/N didn’t answer, she was still reeling from the kiss.

“You can’t do that.” J only rolled his eyes.

“Mr. J, I’m serious. If you touch me again, I won’t come and see you anymore.”  J glared at her.

“Doc, I assure you, if you-” The door opened, and Y/N nearly jumped out of her skin. The guards walked in with the equipment, giving Y/N a weird look.

“Can she do it?” Y/N let out a shaky breath and grabbed the needle. She felt J’s eyes on her the whole time. Lining up the needle with his vein, she gently pushed it in. She glanced up to check if she was hurting him, and her face turned bright red when J moaned.

“Oh, doc, a little harder.” J laughed as a guard told him to shut up. Her fingers brushed against his arm as she gently held it down. He purred at her touch.

“Alright, now I need to prick your finger.” He lifted his pointer finger and poked her nose. She smiled at his childish antics, but covered it with the back of her hand.

“Don’t hide that smile, doc.” She ignored him.

“Alright, all done. Where’s his cookie?” Before she could wrap a band-aid around his finger, he made direct eye contact as he sucked the blood off. Jesus Christ. She blinked and grabbed his hand, pulling his finger from his mouth. Biting her lip in concentration, she focused on wrapping the Batman band-aid around his finger perfectly. He smiled when he noticed the theme, and her heart fluttered as he praised her.

“Nice choice, doc.” She poked his hand with the cookie but before he could take it the guard intervened.

“Ma’am he needs to go back in the jacket.” Y/N gave her best glare at the guard.

“He’s fine. I can handle him.” J let out a low growl as he stared at her and bit into his cookie, but of course she didn’t hear it. Or at least he thought she didn’t until her head snapped towards him. His eyes widened as he realized she had her hand on his chest, as if protecting him from the guards. He snorted. As if.

“Did you just growl? Never mind, I think you two can leave now so I can continue my session.” They continued to argue.

“I’ll do it myself, now leave.” J glared at the guards as they grumbled about her as they left. She gave him a sad smile when she looked at him.

“During our next sessions, you won’t have to wear it. But I need to put it back on, in case they come back.” He leaned towards her, and Y/N thought he was going to kiss her again until she realized he was handing her the jacket. She pushed the disappointment back and put it back on.

“Oh you didn’t finish your-” She stopped talking as he opened his mouth.

“Wait, what? If you think I’m feeding you-”

“Pretty, pretty, pretty, please?”  She blinked and grabbed the cookie. Angry at how he was making her feel, she unintentionally shoved the cookie in his mouth, almost making him gag.

“Sorry.” She muttered, not sure if she meant it.

“Jeez, doc, you play rough.” He sputtered for a second before taking a seductive bite from the cookie. He made a show of making suggestive faces, rolling his eyes back in bliss and then licking the cookie before taking a bite.

“I’ve ate them before, they’re not that good.” She smiled at the way his shoulders shook when he chuckled.

“You should only eat food made for a queen.” He muttered, knowing she wouldn’t catch it. Her forehead creased in confusion.


“Nothing.” She was holding the last piece of the cookie and he made sure to lick her fingers as he took it from her. He noticed the sad look on her face and went to lick the crumbs off of her fingers. She giggled and shoved him away.

“Why so sad, doc?” He gauged her reaction, testing her to see how she reacted to his earlier accusations.

“Did you mean what you said earlier?” Bingo. She glanced at him nervously. He felt a strange pull in his chest and had to stop himself from reassuring her.

“That was just a test, and I’m very pleased to say, you passed.” You proved my suspicion, you’re as gullible as you look. Her eyebrows furrowed but she didn’t question it, something he liked.

“Well, doc? I don’t get a kiss back?” She blushed.

“I really shouldn’t, I mean you’re still-”

“How about you come by and see me tonight? You wanna help get me away from these people who want to hurt your Mr. J?” She shivered. Her Mr.J.

“Come here, doll. Come sit on my lap.” Her eyes widened and she glanced to the door.

“No one’s coming in, they know better. C’mere, doll. Listen to daddy.” Y/N was confused. Why was he suddenly acting like she was his puppet?

“Look Mr.J, we’re still-” She yelped as his hands pulled her to him. The straitjacket was off but she was sure she had it tight enough. When the guards didn’t come after hearing her scream, she started shaking. This man had power and he could have killed her at any time. Just how many people at Arkham worked for him? He forced her knees apart so that she was straddling him, and she felt incredibly awkward in her skirt. His hand cupped the back of her head and he wrapped his fingers in her hair.

“Shh, doll, shh. You’ll come see me, right?” He gave her his shark-like grin. She shakily nodded, her breath coming in little pants.

“Good. You know I live for these moments with you.” The only warning she had was him glancing at her lips before pulling her in for a hungry kiss. The grip in her hair tightened while the one on her lower back pressed her against him. It rested dangerously close to her skirt and she found herself kissing him back despite how bad she was shaking. He pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers. After he let her catch her breath, he pulled her away from him and smirked as her eyes went to his lips.

“Will you do that for me, my sweet doctor? Will you make sure no one will hurt your J?” She nodded and he knew he had her wrapped around his thumb.

“Yes.”  He patted her butt, indicating she get off of him. When the guards came to get him, they didn’t comment on her disheveled state, and she instantly noticed they were different guards with the same name tags. J winked and left, and as soon as she was alone she started to cry.


Y/N’s nerves were shot as she walked towards elevator. It was night and she, besides the security, were the only ones at Arkham. She felt goosebumps on her arms as she noticed some of the guards were different, but she hoped it was just the ones with the nighttime shift. She mentally went through her plan in her head.

Ok, you’re going to tell him no. You’re going to tell him you are switching patients, and if he ever tries to contact you, you will make sure he will be sent to prison. Don’t feel bad, he’s manipulative. He thinks he can bat his eyes and do that weird growly thing that he’s so good at and you’ll do anything he wants. Tell him that’s not how it works. Even punch him if it makes you feel better. Don’t fall for it. Don’t fall for it. Don’t fall for it.

Her hands shook as she swiped her key card through the slot. She saw his ghost white arms crossed over his chest. His shirt was off, showing his glorious tattoos. His door opened and he pushed himself from his position where he was leaning against the wall.  He smirked as she marched over, grabbed his face in her hands, and slammed her lips against his.

She was a goner ever since she walked in.

You’re getting a heart transplant. The doctor comes in. A nurse asks the doctor important questions about the operation. He doesn’t know any of the answers, and then he insults the nurse for questioning him. The nurse asks him what his plan of action is during the surgery.

“I’m going to be great at it,” he answers. “I’m going to be so good at this surgery, you wouldn’t believe it.” It’s not a real plan. He then goes on to insult all the other doctors who perform heart transplants. Especially female doctors. “Would you let a doctor with that face operate on you?” he asks. Then he tells a nurse she would look good on her knees. There’s a group of people in the OR cheering for him.

The nurse asks him if he’s ever performed a heart transplant before. He says no, but that he’ll have a great advisor there to tell him what to do. You may or may not know the advisor’s credentials. Would you still let this doctor operate on you?

If you said no, don’t vote for Donald Trump. 
If you said yes, tell whatever deity or void you believe in hi for me after you die on the operating table.