let's focus once again on the fact that matt was sleeping

[Chlonette Week]: If I Could Tell Her

yo if you’ve ever successfully completed all days of a fandom week on time, hit me up i need to pick your brain 

(for @chlonetteweek​ )


[Prev: What Is This Feeling?]

Link to Archive Of Our Own: [AO3]


Title: If I Could Tell Her
Prompt: a day dedicated to some pining! What are some things they wish they could say to each other but don’t have the courage to?
Summary: A day in the life of a lovesick Chloé Bourgeois


Day 3: If I Could Tell Her 


Chloé was sitting in the living room waiting for her driver to bring the car around when she finally checked all of Marinette’s 4am snapchats.

At a certain point, she had to appreciate the artistic appeal of watching Marinette’s sanity slowly slip away the further Chloé tapped through her story. By three in the morning, Marinette had her history textbook draped over her face while she blasted a Stromae album, rapped along horribly to the lyrics, and added the caption ‘ I’m dropping out of school and becoming an overnight musical sensation.’ It was amazing how something could be tragic, beautiful, and hilarious all at the same time but she supposed if anyone was capable of pulling it off, it was a sleep deprived Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Honestly, Chloé still hadn’t figured out what on Earth kept Marinette so busy that she was consistently staying up until sunrise to finish her assignments. Procrastination and Marinette didn’t go well together which meant she had to have been living some kind of double life as a model. Or an actress. Or something. Whatever. Chloé would look into it. Must be pretty important to be worth showing up to school late so many days in a row.

Speaking of which…

Chloé made a quick phone call while she waved her butler over and quietly asked, “Could you put some coffee in a thermos for me? I don’t want to feel sluggish during class.”

She was sent to voicemail three times before a confused, groggy voice finally answered the phone. “ I didn’t fall asleep! I was just resting…”

Chloé let herself smile now that no one was looking. “You do realize it’s eight o’clock, right?”

Chloé?” Marinette mumbled. “ What the fu — how did you get my number…wait, what time is it?”

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She’s No Angel (Part 19)

Originally posted by trashwilldo

A/N: Happy Thanksgiving!! Let’s be thankful and blessed for the great things that have been brought into our lives over the years. Let’s also never forget the innocent lives of the natives whose blood was shed and covered with a trash ass story. I’m super thankful for all of you!!!

She’s No Angel Masterlist


Thankful


You stirred a little bit, feeling the rough sheets brush against your skin. With blurred vision, you opened your eyes as you tried to make out the figure in front of you. “Are you fully awake?” The voice sounded deep and muffled. A soft groan emitted from you as you popped the joints in your shoulder. Your fingers rubbed gently at your eyes as you finally adjusted to see Kylo Ren sitting in front of you. “Sir?” You squinted your eyes pushing yourself up to lean against the headboard. “Kylo.” His baritone voice bounced off the wooden walls. “Kylo?” You let out in a huff. “You made me breakfast?” You tilted your head so that you got a better view at the plate.

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anonymous asked:

thank you so much for all the amazing writing!! if you're not too overwhelmed with prompts, could you write something with andreil + protectiveness??

Reading this back, I’m not sure this is quite the protectiveness you were looking for, but hopefully you still enjoy? Like wow did I diverge. Please message if you want a take 2. Also, fun fact: this is based off a true story in that I too thought Ratatouille was a safe and good movie to watch with my four year old nephew. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t and he cried.

Being a witness in the FBI’s trial takes more out of Neil than he anticipated. Hearing every detail and seeing the photos presented to the court leaves his stomach rolling. It leaves fear and dread crawling through his veins and gnawing at his bones. It leaves the itch to run sparking with each beat of his heart. Andrew is always there, though, to quiet the urge. With a look. With a touch. With simple but strong words. 

But when they finally make it back to PSU, Neil still feels off, like he hasn’t quite got his feet righted against the ground. The Foxes are both suffocating and overly cautious at the same time. They don’t leave him alone, and yet they tip-toe around him, talking in hushed tones they don’t think he hears and watching him with concerned eyes they don’t think he sees. Even if it does start to get under his skin after a few days, they’re his family, and really, Neil does appreciate the gesture. So when Dan suggests a movie night, Neil can’t find it in his heart to decline. 

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Hey Bartender Chapter 2: A Guy Walks Into a Bar
Pairing: Bartender!Reader x Rock God!Rob

Chapter Summary: A few of the same guys show up a couple of weeks later. Rob turns his attention to the Reader; and while she may be feeling a bit interested, she’s not giving in that easily.

Word Count: 2893

Warnings: swearing maybe?, drinking, gratuitous flirting, suggestive language?

Catch Up: Chapter 1

A couple of weeks later, you were back to work with Briana at your side. Briana was your favorite co-worker, mostly because she was also your best friend and the two of you made a pretty good team behind the bar. Kim, the owner, often told you that the two of you were her favorites. You both worked well together and got shit done whereas most of the other bartenders were slow and incompetent. You and Bri also brought in the most customers. You had your usuals of course; the same men every week who would come in to drink and engage in small talk. You knew that they probably also liked to look at the two of you, which came along with the job. Most of the guys knew what the boundaries were though. They knew you’d flirt, wear revealing clothing, and talk to them just to get a nice tip out of them. You also knew that all of that worked well.

On this particular night, the bar began to pick up later on, customers trickling in and filling up the seats. You and Briana kept busy preparing drinks, talking, and laughing with each other. You glanced up at one point, watching the door as more customers entered the bar when you noticed a few of the guys from two weeks ago that had been in that band that played. You took a second look, trying to decide of you really did recognize them. Sure enough, you remembered seeing their faces before. Your eyes fell on the shorter man out of the three. You’d recall that smile anywhere. Too bad you had forgotten their names, you were sure you’d make some money off of them if you had remembered.

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Interpersonal Mathematics

Read On AO3 Here

“Really?” She looks to him in askance, the odd edges of nerves leaving her expecting more. “That’s it?” He shrugs, looking bemused, and she snorts. “…Did you seriously have no idea that entire time?”

Lance throws up his hands, waving them about in a dramatic fashion. “I mean I knew something was up with you, but I didn’t necessarily think it was a gender thing! A person can have like…multiple things going on at once. And I was right! There was something—I just didn’t expect it to be as big as your family being kidnapped by aliens and you faking your entire identity, y’know?”

Pidge rolls her eyes, ignoring the panging clangs that never quite go away of your family, your family, where is your family, Katie? “Yeah, alright. Fair enough.”

(Or, in which Pidge is trans, damn well knows she’s trans, Lance has no idea what he is, and they both learn to handle the complexities of gender identity, friendship, and each other, in that order.)

Fandom: Voltron: Legendary Defender

Relationships: platonic Pidge & Lance

Characters: Pidge, Lance

Written for the @voltrans-zine, with permission given to post the full piece now that preorders have closed. 

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[붐붐SERIES] Hacker!Jihoon (G)

Prompt: Jihoon has to work his way through the nation’s most secured system.
Word Count: 928  
Genre: Action, thriller
Warnings: None

A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for not being active for so long! So Seventeen’s mv just dropped  (my heart literally went boom boom when I watched it HAHA) anyways, here’s a super short Woozi drabble I wrote during class based on the mv! Hope you guys like it ^_^

-jihooned


See the rest of the 붐붐 (BOOM BOOM) SERIES here:

Biker!Seungcheol | Collector!Jeonghan | UndercoverAgent!Junhui | FieldAgent!Wonwoo | Hacker!Jihoon | RoboticsGenius!Minghao

Originally posted by wonnhao


It was 20 minutes past one in the morning, and Jihoon sat hunched against his black swivel chair. A series of new codes flashed across the screen as he let out a deep sigh. He may be a professional hacker, but his opponent today was the nation’s most complicated system. It was a level of difficulty he had never faced before and currently, he was struggling with even the basic steps.

“Hyung, I’m at the door to the control room, what do I do now?”

Mingyu’s voice from the walkie talkie alerted him. He had to act fast, any delay and their mission could be aborted.

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You’re a Pipe Dream, Part 15

*A Smoke Shop/Hippie AU

TW for discussion of abuse, not explicit

The team had an away game on Friday and Andrew stressed every single minute that they were out of state. He was grateful for Wymack’s policy about away games, where they didn’t stay the night but drove home immediately after the game. He sprawled out on the backseat during the ride back, cell phone clutched in one hand while he mindlessly ate his way through a family size bag of Skittles.

The team was pretty amped up from their win and Kevin and Dan were shouting back and forth about what tactics had worked best, what plays needed some adjusting. Seth and Allison were locked at the lips. Aaron was texting Katelyn. Matt and Renee and Nicky were swapping ideas for what to do for the rest of the weekend. Andrew felt even more disconnected from his teammates—they were all celebrating and enjoying life and he… he was wound tight, plotting murder and disappearances and fuck all. After seeing Rain on Wednesday his anxiety had been through the roof and it was taking all of his tremendous willpower not to snap at everyone.

The only plus side to Andrew’s situation, at least from Kevin’s point of view, was that Andrew was playing with laser sharp focus. He kept the goal locked down the entire game, taking out his mounting frustrations by playing more aggressively. Wymack had noticed but, unlike Kevin, he found Andrew’s focus to be more alarming than positive.

“Do you need to call Bee?” he asked quietly while the other Foxes were changing and horsing around in the locker room.

“No.” Andrew replied and brushed past Wymack so he could go smoke a few cigarettes before the ride back. He had stared up at the moon and let the nicotine settle his nerves. If all went well he would see Rain at Eden’s and they could… well, they probably wouldn’t be able to talk. But he could see him and keep him safe, even if it was just for a few hours.

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TVD 1x10 Review

Hi all! Welcome to the tenth review of TVD season 1. Considering that I haven’t like sat down to watch a full episode of the past seasons of TVD in a few years and my memory might not be the greatest I think I will start with my usual disclaimer: I will write my thoughts in real time so if I make a mistake at the beginning of this post, it will be corrected by the end. There will be anti-Damon and anti-Delena sentiments (I’m only mentioning these two because it’s the beginning of the series), and I feel the need to say that there may be some anti-Jenna sentiments too. I will probably bring up other shows and call attention to misogynoir, racism, anti-blackness etc. Ready? Let’s go. 

You know, I never get the sense that MF is affected by the vampirism, like we see that Damon has killed Tanner and Vicki’s friends and, well, everyone and while there are reports of animal attacks, it doesn’t feel like the residents care or even know. With True Blood, everyone was on fucking edge because people kept dying, with Sunnydale people aren’t exactly on edge but they know their town is weird with the constant mysterious deaths and because the stakes themselves are actually like End of the World big, we already get the hysteria of something terrible is about to happen so we need to stop it. Even in Teen Wolf, Beacon Hills is under curfew. Everyone is chillin’ in MF. Oh I bring this up because Logan Fell killed that random jogger because he’s a newbie vampire.

“But we’re a team, we can travel the world together!” When have you two ever actually been a team, though? Like in the past. Even when they liked each other as humans, Damon was never on Stefan’s team. He was Team Katherine.

“Kids are too young to be brought into this.” This is what Liz says about Stefan to Damon regarding the Council. “Kids are too young to be brought into this”. This is what Liz says about the boy who is going to school with her daughter to the man she saw her daughter dating. Like SERIOUSLY TVD.

Matt and Caroline legit look cute and them talking about TV is adorbz. Yes, Zal ships this POS with Queen Caroline, anons.

I like how moody Elena gets when Bonnie is like, what kind of future could you have with Stefan even if he stayed? She just gets grouchy, lmao.

I like how Damon says that he wouldn’t have been so obvious about how he killed people if he’d been the one who killed the jogger as if his messy ass killing people isn’t what alerted the Council about vampires coming back to MF in the first place.

“Until you become ‘we’ people … we can’t make it to the party, we can’t make it to the game, we don’t like the colour red” lol.

Logan’s transition still doesn’t make sense to me. Damon said that he killed him but didn’t turn him, another vampire found him and give him their blood — Anna, but like, Logan was DEAD when Damon attacked him so like when the hell did Anna give him her blood?

“For once, Mayor, we actually know where our kids are.” WHERE COULD THEY BE IN A SMALL TOWN LIKE MF?

Poor Matt. “It’s not a big deal…” looking at Elena with those hopeful eyes and she’s legit just ribbing on him like a friend.

“Well you probably love her” there’s absolutely nothing to suggest that Logan loved Jenna.

I love Dobsley standing next to each other, they’re such an attractive pairing.

I really like when Elena says “I appreciate you looking out for me but please if you’re going t leave then just go” and her voice quavers as she says it because him being around but not being with her is painful.

And their intense stare before Jenna comes and asks Elena to hide her from her ex-boyfriend.

OMG I JUST BOOKED THAT WHEN LOGAN COMES UP TO ELENA AND STEFAN, STEFAN TAKES HER BY THE HAND. SO CUTE.

LOL Stefan staring Logan down being like “Don’t ever. Threaten me. Again.” And then walking away, Logan has no idea what to do with himself. With Damon he was snarky and actually pretty confident, with Stefan he’s like … … …

“Bonnie, where are you I’m ready to go” OK Caroline but maybe Bonnie isn’t? LIKE? And even HERE, we don’t see what Bonnie wants to be when she grows up. Tyler draws, Caroline wants to be a broadcast journalist, Matt used to want to be an astronaut, Stefan wanted to be a doctor, we find out later Elena wanted to be a writer and Bonnie what, doesn’t need to have any background because she’s a witch?

“Alpha male douchebag” oooooooooooh werewolf reference.

“Yeah I’m starting to see a lot of things, Stefan” like the fact that he is a good man who will protect her and her friends and therefore a person she’s in love with.
Moon over Tyler, lmao, I booked that in season 1 too.

Awww, the teary gazes between Stefan and Elena.

And the SE love scene! I’ve written so many posts on it I’m just going to link them here:
http://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/145263622105/can-you-compare-and-contrast-stelenas-first-love

http://zalrb.tumblr.com/post/150643738095/whats-your-interpretation-about-cut-plumb-line

Needless to say it’s such a transcendental scene.

And I love that Elena gasps right before Stefan kisses her.

Also, I like that “Cut” is an accompaniment to the scene, it doesn’t overpower it. With DE scenes, what you remember is the song, you remember Never Let Me Go and I Was Wrong because it’s blaring and overpowers what’s actually happening. With the SE scene, they are the main event and the song doesn’t blare until after they’ve given themselves over to each other in the living room.

I have it paused because my mother won’t leave me alone but it’s paused at when Stefan turns away from Elena and the expression on Paul’s face is full of such vulnerability and fear at Elena discovering the part of himself he hates the most.

And when he says “Elena I can’t” it legit looks like it tears him up inside.

I’m just realizing I usually focus on Elena when I watch the “don’t hide from me” scene but I’m looking at Stefan and when she puts her hand on his face, the way his mouth parts, like being touched on his face affects him so deeply and thoroughly.

Nina’s shining fucking eyes man.

Still love that she takes him by the hand and guides him to his own room in his own his house

They want to talk about how the necklace is a DE symbol even though they focus on it during the SE love scene.

Seriously, Elena’s face when Stefan’s kissing her neck.

OK so it turns out I did have a few things to say about the love scene.

“LOOK, I like Caroline, she has this thing, this way about her and I like her!” SO high school. Yeah Matt, stand up to Tyler!

I also like that Matt looks at Tyler like wtf is up with you when he just accepts that he likes Caroline and isn’t being a raging douche bag.

Also it still bothers me that they’re friends considering how FOUL Tyler treated Vicki.

Still totally love that Elena is in Stefan’s shirt, cuddling with Stefan after sleeping with Stefan, like you just want to be wrapped up in him, girl.

Stefan being all considerate and asking if she needs a drink of water.

And the way Elena is so giddy and cuddles his pillow.

TOPLESS STEFAN.

Here is the thing that bothers me. OK Elena is upset that Stefan didn’t tell her she resembled Katherine, like fine, I get that, but why the fuck would she leave the vervain necklace, like that DOESN’T make sense. “But maybe it’s a token of their relationship” yeah it’s also what keeps her from being compelled. LIKE. IT IS AN ILLOGICAL AND STUPID MOVE.

I also want to know how the car works. Like, Bonnie consistently drives Elena to school but Elena’s driving the jeep or SUV or whatever from Stefan’s place and it’s not the weekend so like, why does she get it tonight? Are she and Jenna sharing the car?

Thanks for reading!

Salvation

Anonymous: Hello! I’m so in love with the blog!! Can I request one where reader is an assassin, known as Black Death and is hired by Fisk to kill daredevil. A cool fight scene or something. She’s dating Matt and finds out its him. Very angsty when Matt finds out she’s Black Death when he over hears her talking with Fisk on the phone. In the end they forgive and makeup and go after Fisk together? I do t know, I had this dream last night and thought it’d be cool, if you don’t want to that’s totally fine! xxx

I’M JEALOUS THIS IS THE BEST DREAM EVER *ahem* okay, I hope I could bring it to life for you ;) Thanks for sharing this with me. This was super fun to write. Um.. yeah. Come tell me what you think, maybe?

3516 words. It’s really long, wow. Enjoy xx (not my pic)

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Famous Last Words

Summary: In a world where the last words your soulmate will say to you are written on your wrist, fearful and introverted Phil works in a bookstore. His greatest fear? The words counting down the seconds until he meet his soulmate, someone called ‘Dan.’ But it isn’t until he befriends a university student that he nicknames ‘Bear’ that Phil realizes that surviving through fear isn’t the same as living.

A/N: Only one more chapter to go… (Also I broke 500 a few days ago–thank you so much I’m just a smol meme <33)

                                               Masterpost



Chapter Nineteen

     Phil stood in the empty living room, leaning against the doorframe beside Liam and watching as Daisy gave the mirror one final, slight turn to the left. Daisy’s flat had always been neatly organized with everything in its rightful place. In contrast Liam’s flat had always been messy, shoes littering the floor and the rest of his things scattered everywhere.

     The majority of Liam’s possessions had been moved back to his parent’s home, and for the time being Daisy’s flat was relatively unchanged with the remainder of Liam’s belongings distributed amongst Daisy’s. At least for the moment everything looked fairly orderly, although Phil wasn’t sure how much longer that was going to last.

     “Have you found the perfect angle for that mirror yet?” Phil asked, hiding his smile.

     “It’s all about the symmetry,” Daisy said, completely stone faced as she stepped away from the mirror to admire her work. Apparently satisfied, she settled into the sofa cushions and crossed her legs.

      “Have to represent the aesthetic,” Liam nodded, smirking lightly. “At least one of us has a sense of style.”

     “Thank you,” Phil said mockingly with a deep bow. “At least someone has appreciation for my talents.”

      “Piss off,” Liam rolled his eyes. “Anyway, what’s this I hear about a Muse concert?” He crossed the living room to sit beside Daisy, Phil sitting on his other side.

     He flushed. “What concert?” Liam’s raised eyebrow was enough to make him abandon any attempts at playing dumb. “It’s the night before Bear’s wedding.”

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Matt + Foggy - Relationship

- Foggy buying a ring, and all Matt can tell for ages is that he’s worried about something. *

- Matt leaving handwritten notes for Foggy that are practically indecipherable to anyone but him.

- Matt and Foggy spending the first night after they get Matt moved into his assortmentsitting outside on the steps, listening to the city.

- Foggy taking Matt to the boardwalk, and Matt managing to destroy the carnival games. **

- Matt and Foggy taking a ton of selfies together, at mostly Foggy’s insistence.

- Matt very ironically starting an instagram account with mostly selfies, few of which manage to include more than half of his face in them.


- Foggy taking Matt out for a boy’s night, and the two of them getting drunk together for the first time since the fight. ***


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"Look After You" -- Matt Espinosa Imagine

a/n: i am sad goodbye

__________

You’re sitting in your bedroom. The rain is pitter-pattering against the glass on your windows and there is an occasional flash of lightning that illuminates the darkness, but it’s only for a second.

Exhausted, you wipe your eyes free of the tears that had been falling for hours. It wasn’t like it mattered anyways because you knew they would return, regardless of how hard you tried to hold them back.

Crying that way has become a nightly routine. You’re so tired and stressed from school— all of the homework and tests on topics you just don’t understand. It was unusual for you to just not get something and you haven’t been taking it lightly. It doesn’t help that you have an anxiety disorder on top of it.

You felt like you had lost control.

Three knocks on your bedroom door cause you to swing your head up towards the noise. You don’t know who it could be because your parents are usually asleep by that point.

Hurriedly, you erase the wetness beneath your eyes with your sleeve, trying to conceal your sadness to the best of your ability.

“Yeah?” your tired voice croaks, inviting the person inside. And when the door softly opens, it’s your best friend who lived just down the road— Matt. You two had been close since elementary school and he often came over unannounced; and vise-versa.

“Hey,” he whispers softly closing the door behind him, then approaching the edge of your bed where you’re sitting.

“What are you doing here?” you push a laugh, truly curious as to why he decided to drop by at eleven o’clock on a Friday night without any heads up at all. For all he knew, you could have been sleeping.

He shrugs and pulled at the hem of his shirt with his index finger and thumb. “I had nothing to do,” he pouts.

Nodding, you begin studying him through the darkness. His pushed up dark blonde hair and angled jaw line are really all you can see due to the fact that there is no lighting and his eyes are on his lap.

“Did you think I was going to want to do anything this late?” you joke.

He chuckles and turns to you as a flash of lightning struck, sending light into my room and onto the both of us. His smile quickly fades to a straight line as his eyes wander over your face.

“Were you crying?” he murmurs, his tone sympathetic as ever.

Forcing a laugh, you raise your eyebrows. “No, of course not.”

He walks over to you. He doesn’t say a word and you know it’s because he doesn't buy your story. Not even the most gullible person in the world would have believed you. Then, slowly, he leans towards you and lifts his hand, resting it on the side of your face only to feel the tears on your skin.

“What happened? What’s wrong? Did somebody say something to you? Did somebody hurt you? I—” he begins restlessly. As he does this, his thumb brushes back and forth over the dampness on your cheeks.

You stop him, shaking your head. “No, no one did anything. I swear. It’s not a big deal.”

“If it’s not a big deal, then why can’t you tell me?” he questions, pulling his hand away from your face defensively.

“Because it’s not important,” you fire back sternly, becoming defensive as well.

His voice quiets down. “I don’t see what your problem is, I’m just trying to—”

“Help? Is that what you’re trying to do?” you assume, the level of your voice only gaining volume. “I don’t need your help. I can do this on my own.”

“Do what on your own?“

You draw in a breath to say something but you catch yourself. He almost tricked you into confessing. Instead, you look down and shake your head, lowering your voice as well. "Nothing. Just please don’t worry about it, okay? I promise, I’m fine.”

Again, he doesn’t say anything. You can feel him looking down at you, taking in your sadness. You know he wants to know what’s wrong so he can help you and as much as you appreciate that, you can’t tell him. You can’t tell anyone.

“Come here for a second,” he softly commands. You look up at him and tip your head to the side when you see him holding out his hand for you. “Come on,” he urges again in a serene tone that makes you feel nothing but warmth.

You do as he says and slip your hand inside of his, allowing him to pull you up to your feet. Immediately, he lets go and pulls you in by your waist. You look up at his eyes, finding yourself loving his much taller frame. It makes you feel safe.

He gently takes your forearms and brings them up around his shoulders, then returns his hands to the middle of your back where he moves them up and down to calm you to the best of his ability.

“I love you, you know that, right?” he asks. You nod, secretly loving the feeling of his body up against yours. You’re so close, you can nearly feel his heart beating through his shirt. “Nothing you say or do is going to change that. I swear.”

You’re practically numbed by the feeling of his cool breath on your lips. You know he would do anything for you and because of that, you’ve always loved him. Not just as a best friend, but more.

“You’re probably going to think this is stupid,” you begin, breaking your eyes away from his. He just pulls you closer. “I’m really stressed out and nervous and scared and I can’t handle all of this at once. There’s nothing I can do about all of it and I hate that I feel like I’m not in control anymore,” you admit all in one breath. You feel your heart racing and your skin crawling. You begin to feel hot and your head starts to spin. Your breath turns staggered. Your throat closes.

You’re having an anxiety attack.

“Hey,” Matt murmurs, bringing his hand to your face and pushing your hair behind your ear. Your eyes are stinging and you can’t get yourself to stop panicking. He knows you have anxiety and he knows what to do to fix it. He always does. But whenever this happens and he sees it, you hate what it does to him. He hates seeing you this way and you know it. “Hey, come on, look at me. Breathe. Just breathe.”

You try to listen to him but you find yourself struggling. That’s until he takes your face in both of his hands and brings your attention to him.

“Look at me,” he whispers. “Just focus on me, okay?”

Your eyes hold onto his and within seconds, you feel yourself regaining your state of mind. Your breathing returns to normal along with your temperature. You’ve regained control because of Matt. But even though you’re no longer panicking, you can’t help but cry. You hate yourself for being the way you are but you can’t help it. You hate that you depend on him for help, but that’s just the way it goes. 

Without a word you loop your arms around his torso and cry into his chest, gripping onto his shirt tightly. He wraps his strong arms around you without a second thought, keeping you close to him as he rocks you back and forth gently.

“Shh, you’re okay,” he says quietly into your hair. “I’m here.”

His caring words bring you the comfort and security you’re lacking. And you know he’s telling the truth. He’s here and he always will be no matter what. 

It feels like he’s holding you that way for hours, but you don’t care. You know he will protect you and keep you from losing it again. He’s your anchor and you need him. You need him a lot more than you thought before.

You pull your head from his chest and look up at his tired eyes, having such appreciation for them. They help you through the situations you can’t handle on your own. And without them, you don’t know where you would be. For all you know, you could still be mentally off the wall. But you’re not. You’re not because you have him. And you appreciate him so much. It’s hard to say why you couldn’t figure it out sooner, but that doesn’t matter because you know now how much you rely on him. It’s scary, but that’s how it is. You can’t change it.

“Do you feel okay?” he asks, dropping his hands to your back and moving one of them in a big circle to comfort you.

You nod slowly. You’re so consumed in your thoughts and they’re causing you to see this boy, your best friend, in a whole new light.

Your hands maneuver themselves up to his chest, then slide to the sides of his neck and then to his face. He’s watching you, probably wondering what you’re doing. You don’t even know what you’re doing, but you’re doing it. And you can’t stop.

For a moment, you stand before him stroking his skin for the sake of your own assurance. You want to feel him there with you. You need that. But then you notice him moving closer to you. He gradually leans in and the next thing you know, his soft, warm lips are over yours. You kiss back, loving every moment of it.

Because he’s kissing you. The boy who keeps you grounded is kissing you.

anonymous asked:

do you mind me asking, what was so bad about it?

sure! i will make a short, bullet-pointed list of things that come to me off the top of my head

i watched it very late at night and then didn’t get very much sleep because i was so angry and then i did christmas so this is incomplete and poorly formed but i think i’m mostly clear?

  • “I’m OCD, what’s their excuse?” trivialization of mental illness for a joke, ableism, just generally pointless one-off joke line
  • the Doctor not wearing any clothes to greet Clara, despite having clearly proven to be aware of the societal necessity of being dressed when greeting young girls alone in a box
  • the Doctor not wearing clothes when greeting Clara’s family, despite clearly being aware that this is a dumb thing. if this portrayal isn’t offensive, it makes the doctor seem stupid and ignorant, and what the hell is up with holographic clothes
  • hurried wrap-up of the Papal Mainframe in a way that didn’t really make sense and still left a LOT of gaps and inconsistencies
  • why is a town called Christmas. why. why was this never explained. why did they shove the Christmas theme into the audience’s faces to hard when they could very easily have made it Christmas-y in the End of Time sort of way that lets you watch the episode when it’s, like, a different season
  • racial stereotyping of “he’s Swedish”
  • the Doctor effectively holographically declothing Clara without her permission or understanding
  • the fact that the only church/institution run by a woman requires its patrons to be naked??? this was totally unnecessary. we did not need matt smith fanservice. we can go watch christopher and his kind. 
  • making clara naked = making her feel weak, exposed, unsafe for no reason, esp. since she’s shown wearing clothes onstage
  • the way tasha lem’s power was instantly both destroyed and reliant on her ~~sexiness~~
  • nobody else can get in to trenzalore but the doctor’s cuuuute so she’ll let him down
  • her altar is literally a bad. that is not even trying
  • tasha lem: cardboard cutout of a sassy female character who has somehow managed to run a military church with, according to what we see with the doctor, literally no ability or power
  • tasha being strong must = tasha being psycho. ableism again!!! a+!!! wouldn’t be a moffat thing without it
  • “she’s my…. associate” good, because as far as we’ve seen, she isn’t your friend. we didn’t watch your relationship develop at all. but why can’t you just say companion, doctor. what is this. 
  • the way clara is totally tricked over by the doctor. twice. and doesn’t suspect anything
  • she relies on him to save her and send her away, and it’s totally okay that he lies to her (in the view of the audience) because he’s just trying to ~help her, and he knows best, he can determine when it’s time for her to leave
  • plus can we please talk about the selfishness of “i didn’t want to bury you so i sent you away to die somewhere else where i wouldn’t have to see it but would totally live the rest of your life hoping that someday i would come back” 
  • why were the weeping angels in there for like three seconds. that was unnecessary and felt totally forced given that we never saw them return at all
  • the sympathies of the audience turned more towards the disembodied cyberman head than towards the living character in the scene, otherwise known as “in which steven moffat is better at writing robot heads than writing women”
  • info dump at tasha tells the doctor who’s been there the whole time what’s been happening for the past three hundred years
  • clara’s travelled through space and time frozen to the edge of the tardis but she’s totally okay. she’s just stubborn. stupid clara. 
  • clara getting tricked the second time because she’s ~cooking
  • “that’s a WOMAN” yeah that’s your companion who’s been incapacitated and has bravely volunteered to die at the hands of the daleks in order to save the lives of the people below. her braveness and virtues are not as a result of her gender. they are because she is clara oswin oswald. maybe don’t write them off that way
  • the doctor making a value comparison between a twenty first century time-and-space adventurer and the head of a giant military church from the future just because they’re women. apples to oranges, doctor. apples with boobs to oranges with boobs. 
  • the doctor totally fucking yelling at tasha lem with the implication that he’s doing it to support her, because he knows that’s what she needs- watching that i couldn’t help but think how typical of abusive relationships the “i’m yelling at you/criticizing you/hurting you because it’ll make you a better person/because i know what’s best” line is
  • how weak tasha lem’s slap was, like a pat. you hurt me but i love you and i’m just a weak woman
  • the doctor just reaching out and kissing tasha without permission
  • “kiss me when i ask” “well you better ask nicely” hahaha. ha. haaa. haaaaa. not okay.
  • clara’s random admission that she’s in love with the doctor when the enter the truthfield. OF COURSE she’s in love with him. how could she not be?? this makes his nakedness at the start even more inappropriate. more about me disliking doctor/companion romance things here, with a focus on the “very old man picks up generally young girl in time machine. i will save you, he says. now you have an unspoken debt to me. and if you deny my advances, i can totally leave you stranded and alone on an alien world” squick
  • and “i only went with him because i fancy-” like the only reason for a woman to travel through time and space is because you’re attracted to some guy
  • what the fuck was the truthfield
  • what the fuck was the point of tHE QUESTIONN
  • what the fuck was this whole plot
  • the random plot mess that was the crack in time and space opening again and the time lords in the crack and the daleks in space and NOBODY SUCCEEDING IN BLOWING UP THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN LET THE TIME LORDS OUT why is he the only person who can let the time lords out how is this time stream working what happened to all the name of the doctor storyline bits where clara and the doctor go there and PARADOXES SO MANY PARADOXES
  • the whole plot was rushed and convoluted and difficult to connect to. too much focus on action and not enough on character relationships/connections/development
  • the time lords gave the doctor more regenerations becuase???? they love him??? and clara asked them to??? nicely???
  • guess who failed the bechdel test again? it’s steven moffat
  • regeneration occurring just for a “it’s magic time lord science thing so it happened” sort of bullshit reason
  • if the time lords can send out random regeneration energy into the doctor they can probably squeeze through the crack themselves
  • once again clara is sort of left behind as the doctor focuses on amy pond. even when she isn’t there. i’m getting quite a martha jones vibe there. 
  • clara once again being relegated to a “impossible girl” place, where she’s just a mystery to be solved and something obnoxious to get rid of and not a FRIEND 
  • plus like literally most of the premise of the stalemate was that nobody wanted to go first and that’s???? not a good reason to wait for several hundred years
  • making the doctor get super old felt really??? thanks for letting eleven die of old age /in the space of one episode/ 
  • basically the whole thing had all of my usual moffat criticisms which are summed up here. but it was exacerbated a thousand times