let the pigeons loose

anonymous asked:

I sometimes have to do the night-shift at the 24/7 shop I work at. Which is fine. Unless it's the weekend. The shop is, unfortunately, surrounded by pubs and nightclubs and I've dealt with all sorts of creeps and weirdos. Once a weird, old homeless guy bought in some pigeon he caught and let it loose in the store. Then last night some pervy fucker came just to grope the female staff. Big Sam (the intimidating, but lovely security guard), caught him and he was arrested a while later.

YOU ARTISTS THERE WHO HAVE SUCH FLAIR, COME SEE A THING I’D LIKE TO SHARE!

WHEN UNINVITED CRITICS FLY, AND RUDELY THEY COME DROPPING BY, DO YOU DETEST THOSE NESTING PESTS? DOES FOWL GRAFFITI SPOIL YOUR REST?

COME SPARE A GAZE AND I’LL AMAZE WITH SUCH A SIGHT THAT WILL DELIGHT!

A SCARECROW POLISHED WITH A GLEAM, A HELPER FROM YOUR FONDEST DREAM!

WATCH IT SPRAY AWAY YOUR BLUES WITH HUES! YOU’LL HAVE NO WORDS NOR PESKY BIRDS! WITH WHITES SO BRIGHT AND GREENS SO CLEAN, THIS ONE MACHINE WILL CHANGE YOUR SCENE!

OH CROW WILL KNOW TO FLY AWAY WHEN IT SEES ITS RAINBOW SPRAY! LET LOOSE ON GOOSE AND PIGEON BLUDGEON, EACH THING ON WINGS SHALL FEAR ITS GEARS. EVEN THE TURTLE DOVE DOVE FOR COVER (LEST IT BE BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER)

THE PAINTER’S WORK NEED NEVER CEASE, THIS SERVANT GIVES ITS MASTER PEACE!!

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ReyFearsPsychosis’ Video Tribute Parody to Velvet Sky allows us to Let The Pigeons Loose one last time.