I’m late, again, but this one took a long time to create. I’ve struggled with Byakkomaru, I really did, for I never even tried to draw a tiger before. All this fur and the stripes aren’t really something I’m familiar with at all and there’s no way I’m attempting him anytime soon again. I love the white tiger demon, I really do, but he’s just way too difficult for me.
Enough of that, happy belated birthday, Bread Boy! May you be blessed with lots of love and free toast!
Eventually, you stop crying yourself to sleep and the self-blame will dim. The questions as to why you weren’t good enough along with all that lost time spent in the shower retracing your last conversation will also stop too.
However, it will not be easy.
You are still going to wake up with them in your mind for weeks to come and similarly, they will be all you can think about before you sleep. Heartbreak is a bit like love in that respect, you think about them constantly except the thoughts are painful this time around.
Indeed, there are moments where you find shelter from these thoughts, a hot chocolate with a friend or an essay that requires your full attention. Your favourite song will come on but then that shuffled sad song will follow and trigger the thoughts all over again. This is inevitable so when it catches you off guard, let it all out. Do all you must to wash away the sadness. Call a friend, bake some cookies, go and lie on the floor with your dog and tell him you’re glad he wouldn’t ever hurt you like this.
Your heart will miss them so much it will use any excuse to search for them. The same model car they have will drive by while you are laughing away with your friends and suddenly you cannot breathe.
You might see someone with the same curly hair or the way the person sitting in front of you on the bus drums their fingers to a song will remind you of them. This too, is inevitable. Try to appreciate these small quirks because regardless of where you have ended up, these were once pieces of a puzzle that led to you falling in love and that is a beautiful thing.
Most importantly of all, you are going to want to run to them. You are going to want to share your day- whether it be good or bad- purely out of habit. You will miss the way they told you terrible jokes or sent you pictures of your favourite breed dog just to bring a smile to your face for the first time that day. You will miss how excited they got when you were excited- how happy they got when you were happy. Allow yourself to grieve this absence but remind yourself that they aren’t the only person who would be willing to devote so much effort to cheering you up. Let your loved ones know you’re sad and soak in the warmth of their kind words.
And then, suddenly, a few weeks have passed and you think of them for the first time in three days and you realise that you are healing. You start to fill your time with people and things that make you happy. You suddenly crave adventure and new experiences and anything that makes you feel alive again. You stop beating yourself up and start to defend your corner like you are your own best friend. You put your hands up and admit your contribution to the downfall of it all but the difference is, you refuse to defend them any longer. You validate your pain and tell yourself that it is okay to hurt and that you just need time- the art of healing requires the same patience as a few broken bones.
The bond with your friends will strengthen if you let them in- please let them in. Spend time with them and regularly express how much you appreciate them. Feel good about telling loved ones that you love them. Do not shy away from this term because your heart is broken. Please remind yourself that this is not the end for you. Do not console yourself with the whole there are other fish in the sea rubbish because I know that despite how much pain they have caused, you still want them and you will continue to want them for a very long time. Instead, console yourself with the thought that your heart may be in two right now but bones do that sometimes and with a little support, healing is inevitable.
My darling, to break may not be beautiful while you’re going through it but it is, don’t you see? Even a glow stick has to crack to shine; think of how proud you will be when one day you can smile at yourself in the mirror and mean it again.
Give me a story where one of Bruce’s children has a kid (it doesn’t matter who, but Jason would be so sweet as a father) and Bruce is blown away by the fact that he is a grandfather. Where he’s standing there holding this tiny baby in his arms and he’s completely lost for words. He’s never been good with words, but now he can’t even begin to form them.
Because this is something he never expected. Not in a million years did he imagine himself as a grandfather. He had seen his life going down a very specific path when he was young. A very specific, very lonely path. Long term attachments had been outlawed to him by his choice of lifestyle, and children were even more out of the question.
He’d always known what the cape and cowl meant: an end to the Wayne family line. He had no siblings, and no close relatives. No one to continue the historical name, and he’d been ok with it. Or at least he thought he had. So when Dick, then Jason, Cass, Tim, and Damian had come they’d each been a surprise. A happy surprise, a surprise that was to Bruce always fleeting. Especially when he lost them, especially when he got them back.
So no, he hadn’t expected a grandchild. Not when everyone of his own kids had followed his footsteps. They’d all done it in their own unique way, but Bruce still saw what they did as a road with one outcome. That outcome was never settling down, never finding ‘the one’, and never starting their own family.
Yet. Here he stood, holding, not just the next generation, but the third generation of the Wayne name after his parents. Bright and bubbly, in his arms there was life, and with life hope for the future. Not just the future of his family, but the future in general. Because if a man like him could be so lucky to have made it to becoming a grandfather, then the world was better than he’d thought it was.
#kdramawomensweek: day 8 // age of youth love-fest | happy international women’s day!
So I pretty much put together some of my favorite scenes from Age of Youth. They’re all scenes that really hit me hard emotionally or just personally resonated with me. When Jin Myung, whose feelings have slowly been bubbling underneath the surface, finally overflows with emotion, full of rage and agony. She finally demands the apology she’s been silently asking for. When she fell to the floor in sobs, I cried with her. I felt that grief. When Yi Na realizes she’s been holding herself back and finally lets herself go. Dammit, that scene just hit me. When Eun Jae blows up and just begs for the housemates to be nice to her I could personally relate to her pain and just how nervous she must have felt to finally let that out and tell these almost strangers how alienated they made her feel and how much it had hurt her. That’s not easy.
As you can see, most of my favorite scenes include the girls all together. The relationship that developed between these girls, different in pretty much every way, from being strangers just living in a house together to sisters that loved and protected each other in any way they could was really the main strength of the show. Even that hilarious scene when the girls beat up Eun Jae’s boyfriend because they think he’s some stranger out to hurt her shows just how willing they are to protect each other. I mean, they burst out of the house the second they heard Eun Jae scream. The girls immediately went to comfort Ye Eun when she finally broke up with a boyfriend she loved so much. And when Eun Jae finally comes home after being out all night, the girls just hug her, saying that everything is okay because she’s here and she’s safe. I’m tearing up just thinking of the scene. That love for each other that made them one of the best friendships of 2016 and just in general.
What I love about the girls individual stories is the journey they went through during the drama and where they ended up. They don’t end the drama suddenly complete and whole, but you know they’ve set themselves on that track. They learn to start forgiving and loving themselves. The ghosts they’ve lived with are never completely gone but they’re not held back and tortured by them anymore.
Anyway, what I really want to say is that I love these girls so so so so so much. There’s really nothing I can say that can convey the amount of love I have for this drama and the Belle Epoque girls. It warms my heart when I think of them and I’m just so happy there’s going to be a season 2.
hear me out: donut actually sitting down and learning more spanish?
1, it would break up his haha oblivious gay stereotype, n 2 he could communicate w lopez (the person he striaght up confessed his love to) better!! what’s not to love?
building off of that: he can still make funny mistakes (he’s only human), and he can still translate lopez wrong, even on purpose! lopez likes his ability to secretly shit talk, so donut can make something up, and everyone would still take donuts word for granted.
nothing really changes, but donut grows as a character and he and lopez bond, it’s a win-win
Peter wouldn’t feel comfortable around others. He would always be so shy and quiet and that used to irritate him so hard that the boy always felt like he wasn’t enough. Even though, he never made such a big deal about that.
Until he did, and it was when he met you.
You had transferred from another school from another state, but you were a smarty pants and could keep up just fine. He met you in chemistry and he invited you to pair up because he could see you were looking like a lost puppy — the most beautiful one.
So Peter felt like he had to forget the shy and quiet side about him and grow some courage to talk to you.
After that, you joined him for lunch and met Ned. Then he invited you to watch movies at his and the friendship started to grow larger. And guess what? You two became the best of friends! The kind of friends that would hug each other and blush; the kind of friends that would cuddle up when watching a Star Wars marathon; the kind of friends that would always hear about “how cute they would look like together”.
And as your mom — and everyone else — could say, he had a huge crush on you.
Your mom started to notice after the day when he went to your small apartment to do homework. She invited him for dinner and he stayed, and that night, boy, she could see those sparkling eyes directed to you and only you. It was a shame that her daughter never noticed them, because even after the dinner she could tell that he always looked so focused on her daughters features.
And you… that wasn’t an easy case to solve. What the boy didn’t know was that from the moment where you met him in chemistry to now on you had a crush on him. But he was so oblivious to the world around him that he couldn’t see the most obvious thing.
It was until the day when you went to his to study. You saluted May and she gave you a warm hug before letting you enter the apartment. You and Peter got to his room and he fell to the bed, spreading his arms and sticking his tongue out. You rolled your eyes playfully and crawled up his body, resting your head on the crook of his shoulder and rubbing your nose on the skin of his neck.
You didn’t know that he was trying to hide the way that those chills were sliding down his spine, almost like a race. His arms went around you, hugging your small frame and pulling you as close as he could and he buried his cheek on your hair, taking in the scent of your shampoo.
“You are so comfy” your voice sounded muffled against his body and you let out a little laugh.
“I must be, since you already claimed me as your snuggle pillow” he said against your head, his breath so hot as his arms that were burning on your back.
You smiled to yourself and you both remained in silence for a little bit. When you yawned, he moved until he could see your face.
“Are you tired?”
You nodded slowly and yawned again “I can’t be. We have to study.”
“I can make you coffee” he said and you looked up again.
The idea was great, but you didn’t want him to leave you. The position that you were in was so comfortable and it almost never happened before.
“No, it’s okay, Pete” you smiled and almost didn’t notice that his fingers were tracing patterns on your cheek.
“I’ll make some” he moved a little just to free himself from your grip and stood up. “I’ll be right back”
When he left the room you felt lonely. You could feel his body heat still on the bed covers and his scent in your nose. Biting your lip, you sat up and crossed your legs, letting out a puff of air from your mouth. Suddenly, his phone started to vibrate on the surface of his nightstand and you leaned in to grab it.
It was late when you picked the phone up and you snorted. You turned it on just to see who it was and you let out a surprised gasp, letting it fall from your hands onto the covers. Quickly, you grabbed it back and looked at the screen for a good moment.
When Peter got back and saw your widened eyes, he arched his eyebrows, holding two mugs as he walked slowly in your direction.
“Is everything okay?” He asked, putting the two mugs on the nightstand.
“I’m your lock screen?!” You showed him the picture that you saw just seconds before.
Peter felt his heart skipping a beat when he got closer to the screen and saw what you were talking about. The picture was one of those he used to take when you were distracted. That day, when you two were studying in the library, he saw you with different eyes — not those “I have a crush on you” eyes, but the “I’m falling for you so hard that I can’t even breathe” eyes.
You were just so calm and focused on that book page that he had to capture the moment; to capture that strand of hair that just couldn’t stay away from your face; to capture your head resting without effort on your hand; to capture the way you were biting your lip in the slightest way as possible; to capture it all. And he chose that as his lock screen picture to never forget about that moment.
“You weren’t supposed to see that!” He said in his defense, not making the situation any better. “Oh my god, (Y/N), I’m so sorry. I’ll-”
“Don’t change” you let out quickly and locked your sweet eyes with his.
“I-I liked it” you told him, trying to smile, but feeling too many emotions to think properly. “And I… I like you”
Peter suddenly forgot how to speak. His eyes were wide open, feeling his heart racing as fast as a Ferrari and his legs trembling.
“… You do?”
You nodded and smiled again. Peter took that as an excuse to get closer to your small frame and sat by your side slowly. You took his hand in yours and interlaced your fingers together, guiding them to your mouth, kissing every one of his knuckles with such delicate lips that he almost didn’t notice.
“I like you too” he smiled, his heart going even wilder. “A lot.”
You moved closer to him and kissed his cheek, your lips lingering a little longer there while feeling the heat growing and smiled to yourself. I caused this.
“You know,” he started, biting his lip lightly “y-you can kiss me on the lips.”
Now it was you the one that was blushing. You got closer again, your lips ghosting over his while both hearts were trying to jump off your chests to dance together, as only one. Peter closed his eyes and so did you, closing the little space that stood between you, sealing both delicate lips.
Hi Ann, look at what you’ve done. Thank you for the pain.
1. “I used Corruption because I trusted you”. All this scene is sort of heartbreaking. Chuuya trusts Dazai so much it physically pains me. He hasn’t used Corruption in FOUR YEARS, and then Dazai comes and says “let’s do it like the old times” / “yes, why not, I’ll just put my life in your hands like I did countless of times despite the fact that you betrayed me and I haven’t heard from you in FOUR FRIGGING YEARS and I could literally die in front of your eyes”. WHO DOES THAT????????? Chuuya Nakahara, apparently. That being said, I can’t believe my favorite skk moment is also the moment that makes me raging THE MOST. Of course I’m still outrageously bitter because Dazai literally called him partner, folded his clothes (yes, I’m bringing back the vintage receipts here), washed his face from the blood and then…left him there??? WHAT THE FUCK DAZAI???
2. When they pull the power couple aesthetic. When they actually work together as a team, they are mesmerizing to watch. You can see that the roots of their partnership are still there, that they know each other so much that sometimes they don’t even need words to communicate. They are not Soukoku for nothing, after all.
3. When Chuuya fake killed Dazai (aka, Soukoku in a nutshell). Ah this is such a powerful moment, the cherry on top of a scene where Dazai did everything he could to push Chuuya on the verge of murder, just to see him almost doing it. I can’t help but think how liberating this gesture must have been for Chuuya, he finally let out a little bit of his frustration (that’s why he was there in the first place. After four years he’s still bugged by him, he still wants some sort of revenge, he still needs a closure Dazai is not willing to give him). But that’s it. You can say you’ll kill him all you want, my little Chuuya, but will you really? I don’t think so, because you care and love him so much it’s almost painful to watch. And if you, Dazai, could stop toying with him every chance you get, I’d really appreciate it. Thank you very much.
4. Every time Dazai reminds Chuuya that he knows everything about him. Tell us more about those moves and those thrusts Dazai, we’re all ears.
5. DORKS. First of all, I want Dazai saying “CHUUUYAAAAAA” as the sound people hear passing next to my grave. Second. I feel so robbed because in the manga Dazai actually laugh his ass off at Chuuya’s “little rich girl” impression.
- bonus: all the official art involving them is a blessing sent from the gods, I think that Bones ships them as much as we do if not more (remember the park date one? HONESTLY). But there’s one that has has a special place in my heart:
LISTEN. L I S T E N. I could talk about this art literally for two days straight because ??? You can try to convince me all you want, but this is made to be somehow romantic. Look at the way Dazai is tilting his chin up, it looks like he’s waiting for a kiss. And Chuuya is looking in our direction but if he was to look down he’ll be right above Dazai’s lips and ???? WHAT THE FUCK??? Not to mention what’s probably the most fucked up thing here that is THE FLOWERS. It’s a Camellia Japonica, or Japanese Quince, and they are the symbol of love, temptation, passion and deep desire. That’s it y’all. I’m out. I don’t even know what to say anymore. Soukoku might not be canon, but sure as hell they are baiting it…a lot.