let that weight go

I am a child of God. I’m not going to let the weight of this world keep dragging me further and further from who I can be, glorifying God and furthering his kingdom. Absolutely not.

Fic Updates and what’s going on

Next new fic, The Weight of Living, I’m going to hold off on posting. Most of my focus will be on editing and rewriting RoM, when it’s farther along I’ll post TWoL then. Very likely I’ll wind up working on it on the side and may have more chapters done by the time it’s released. Ch 6 is almost done. 

Lucky Fox Paradox will probably still be a while to update with most of my focus on RoM. And this next update is planned to be at least roughly 15 pages long, and I’m only like, 5 pages in. If I can, I’ll update it soon. Just like TWoL, I’ll work on LFP on the side. 

And like LFP, Ruffled I’ll update when I can. May get sooner updates since usually I keep Ruffled chapters at least 2,000 words and when I get focused, doesn’t take too long, normally. Especially if I have an idea for the chapter. 

Rise of Mariposa is currently being edited and rewritten at this time. First two chapters will be the basic same with only slight changes in them. Ch 3 (which I’m on right now) is when things are going to change storywise, though it will still have the rough basic flow. Ch 3 of RoM will also wind up longer too.

Some point after Ch 3, I’ll start taking down chapters that are on RoM, specifically those that no longer match up and what’s edited is entirely different. Afterwards, RoM will wind up being updated with new chapters. 

Any fanart this fic received, most of it will be moved and posted up on Ch 4. Only exception are works that are plot involved and have major spoilers, those will be posted up in the later chapter in which those happen. If I wind up missing anyone’s art and you want it mentioned and shared in RoM, let me know and I’ll fix it. 

In general it will likely be a while before you see any updates from me as I work on RoM. If you have any questions, feel free to ask, I’ll answer as best I can. 

  • me: I want to join a next gen hp rp
  • me: *attempts to search tags*
  • y'all: *literally rps with urself as fcs*
  • y'all: "Lucky Blue Smith as Scorpius Malfoy"
  • y'all: "ethnicity doesn't have to match but poc preferred"
  • y'all: *has literal 25 y/o fc playing 15 y/o*
  • me:
  • me: nvm

bittersweethaven  asked:

❤ To Lila: If I we're dating you, I'd tell you to stop worrying about your body because you look completely normal and excuse me but I am jealous of your muscles and flat tummy. I would tell you to accept the fact that you are pretty or at least stop calling yourself ugly. And I would tell you how I appreciate you very very much and I cannot even begin to imagine a day when I am no longer close with you. Finally, I would tell you that I LUV YOU. Thank you for being an amazing human being. ❤

Broooo (in Moni to Ben voice) ;_______________; 


Lmao thank you so much though for this second Appreciation Day card >o< Let’s get married so we don’t have worry about our epic otherworldly looks anymore! We both better get into Auckland Uni so we can do the dance club together and stay together for ages more~ And consider this sweet heart message sent right back at you! 

so here she sits
not only fingering the hook, but sliding it, if oh-so carefully, back and forth between the curve, the eye, the barbed end. 

here is the self she is curious
about – curious about setting down

here is the self of weight she is interested in letting go of

here is the prospect of relationship
any and all intimate relationship

sooo provocative

she is interest and curious
she is also… suspicious; undeniably cautious 

cautious does give her

cautious is not letting go
question:  what kind of intimacy?
                 do you want?

maybe a tribe is not                         gah.
necessary?                                       gack.
desirable?                                           alas.
fated?                                                   alack !!!!

maybe you need a herd

1.) the urge to circumvent     } ~~~> the urge to
                    to disregard       } ~~~>        human
                                              } ~~~>   connection
is an urge
                                        I QUESTION !
{which one?}
                                                                 {both of them ! }

the truth - sensed intuited felt is ~~~~> that there are things I can only learn about “myself” via human connection >>>> which begs further exploration, in service of the utlimate…: “goal” ? “journey” ? “destination” ? ~~~> of abandoning / letting go of all self. altogether. 

tricky little trifecta

            //      *     \\
letting go  ==  intimacy

when self and environment UNITE this is the enlightenment released when we let go - it is the deepest intimacy - wholeness with the *world*. so it is. so via intimacy with others: herd or human, this interpersonal relationship, this is how we practice the intimacy that delivers us beyond self into wholeness with the world – with all of existence. 

FUNKTIONSLUST              samadhi
the pleasure of doing            absorbed selfless 
                                                absolute concentration

self-environment unite
attention-intention fuse
the noun of self becomes the verb                                    {to love}

squalling samadhi

a fistula
a fetus
a pregnancy
a knot
a not
a nod
a yes

a space
a void
a hole
a breath
an opening
the only place
love gets in

the story
about the miscarried
sibling and the wisdom
of the only child

a broad repertoire
imagination created
play space

in tuning the instrument we tune the spirit
in tuning the body we tune the instrument of spirit
the more senses we bring into play
during this tuning exercise
the more wholeness
we practice



brain (action below consciousness)

nerve pain
how is pain experience
different during

during… ~~~>


the fool speaks….
{i can’t believe all these notes came from before i even opened up the spell of the sensuous – i got so lucky pairing these two books} 


Day off today ! Then working Tue Wed and Thur, then its St Patricks day then Im off to London! 👌🏻

So I relaxed all day.. Watched Netflix all day long lol bar a 40 min workout and a 40 min walk with my Mum and sis!

I’d love any feedback ! .. Goal is lose weight and lose fat in stomach and legs and actually somehow get an ass? Mine is flatter than a crépe.

Food wise:

• Rice krispies with lactose free milk

• Cod with corn, carrots, beans and mash potato

• Tuna with light mayo, corn and 2 slices of wholemeal bread

• Banana x 2 !

• 2 Litres of water 💦 • • If anyone has anything they think I should add please let me know ! 😊 IS THIS WORKOUT EVEN GOING TO HELP WEIGHT LOSS? (Sorry for shouting xo)

Even if no one actually reads this…hi, I’m Maddie. Recently I have found the strength to let go of all the weight from my past. I lost myself while trying to be perfect for someone else. It took some time, mistakes, and acceptance to finally return back to the happy girl I once left behind. I’ve learned so much, and I am so proud of the girl I have become. It takes a lot to let go of what once was and accept the fact that some things just aren’t meant to work out. Today, and everyday I will never forget to love myself first.

I’m sorry for the rain.
I’m sorry for the patches of dark
wet fabric on your shoulders –
one from the dripping eaves,
and the other from my cheek,
stained and streaked, pressed against you.
I’m sorry for the way my hands
grip your hips hard enough to bruise.
I’m sorry for the way I’m shaking.
I’m sorry I can’t let go.
—  It’s cold outside, is all, and you were wide open. – s.s.

continued from x with @oddbeautybelle

        “That, Sonnenschein, depends. Part of fighting is reading the situation. Your attacker’s height, weight, skill. All of that.”

        Helga let the hand go. “For example… that big guy I keep seeing give you problems. Any of what you just did would never work. Aim lower. I prefer the solar plexus. Winds them, gives you time to attack again or get out of there. Hard to get a good shot in with your fist, though. Elbow or knee are preferable, though both mean you have to be in a very specific position.

        “Now, if you need to just buy time, heel of your hand up into the other’s nose. Break sit, they tear up, they falter, you can run. But it has to be sharp, quick, and powerful.”

derrickhill  asked:

I could use some soft headcanons if you're doing them :) (I'm happy with any ship you choose)

have some Luz and Lip soft headcanons.

  • Luz who has to ask for Lip’s help to fetch him something from the upper cupboard and Luz who will kiss Lip’s cheek sweetly and saying “thanks, sweetheart” and swatting Lip’s ass as he walks away.
  • Lip who will let Luz massages his head after a long day of work, who will hum appreciatively when Luz works out the kink on his shoulders before turning around to kiss Luz.
  • Luz who smokes less because Lip is worried about his health.
  • Luz who teaches Lip how to win at poker (“that’s cheating, Georgie.” “Hey, ’s long as you wanna win, you gotta lose some intergrity”)
  • Lip who carries Luz to bed, because Luz is small and weight nothing; who doesn’t want to let go of Lip’s shirt so they end up cuddling in bed and falling asleep together.
  • Lip who will make sure Luz is comfortable when they are doing the deeds in bed; always asking him “is this okay?” and Luz, desperate with pleasure will whine, “yes fine, just get on with it, Lip.”

I turn 25 in 1 hour and 44 minutes.

Does anyone get this achy, nostalgic feeling on their birthday? Like you are about to let go of the weight of one year and undertake the weight of another? It’s not a bad feeling, it’s just overwhelming.

My mom just called and, like she has the past few years, told me my birth story. How she had beginning labor signs 3 weeks early. How she paced in a hallway for 5 hours, waiting for a room to be open. How she felt so ready to be a mom after experiencing such loss. How she made my dad sleep for a few hours because she wanted time alone to breathe. How she couldn’t get her epidural because they waited too long. How she changed the name she had planned on because she hated her doctor (who had that name).

I could weep hearing that story. It really makes me feel so many emotions. I’m so thankful for the strength of my mom and the pain she endured to get to be my mom. And I’m so glad to be reminded of that story.

I may be overwhelmed, but there are wonderful days ahead. 24 was a beautiful year, full of growth and trust. Here’s to 25; may it be a year of deepening my relationship with the Lord, and following Him all the days of this year.

1. Xiumin

“Do you really have to say this? Even though you know how hard I worked over the years?”

2. Luhan

“Makes me look more masculine, no?”

3. Kris

“Well, I feel so sorry for you, dating such a fatass like me…”

4. Suho

“Haha, really funny….did I really?”

5. Lay

“Ah? What? Me?…Really?”

6. Baekhyun

“Well, I still look better than you…”

7. Chen

“Who are you trying to tease?!”

8. Chanyeol

“I know what you’re trying to do…you just want me to make this stupid diet with you, right?”

9. D.O.

“Hm? What? Me?….Right, if you say so…”

10. Tao

“Stop being so mean…”

11. Kai

“Well, I think I know how I can burn it off….”

12. Sehun

“Well, we’re having a comeback soon so if I were you, I wouldn’t worry about that…”


I hope you liked this!

$7-8 on Amazon!

You’re welcome.

I told myself I was going to make weighted lap pads but let’s be honest, I’ll never get around to it and playing with the pillowcases is just as much fun.

Dear Moon

I spoke with her this morning before I tried to get more sleep,
I told her how the weight of this was taking me too deep,
She gazed at me a moment in silence as I held my breath,
And I heard her gently say, “Darling, you never were afraid of depth,
Never have you lacked the strength to learn as you fell,
And never did it occur to you to let yourself remain in hell,
You always find new ways to be, new ways to build and grow,
My darling dear, listen to me: that weight will not let go,
It is a part of you, a branch or two, roots you forgot were there,
But it is not all that you are, is it? Why now do you feel scared?
Doubt. It is a fungus, a parasite, and it picks and picks away
All the freshly laid out dreams and plans you warmed in light of day,
It is your duty, Love, to replenish them, to catch life giving rain,
And when you need more night time guidance, you know I’ll come again.”
There she fell silent, and the cold wind whispered around,
And my bare feet found feeling again, against the solid ground,
I turned with my head lowered in thought and in prayer,
I know I’ve a long way to go still, but with Her I know soon that I’ll be there.

~ Cherry