God and the GOP
So now we know. God was responsible for getting Donald Trump elected. Sarah Palin just told us, so it must be true. In a recent interview she confirmed that “Divine providence played a huge role in this election. I will boldly proclaim that. I saw it first-hand. I was there on the campaign trail.” As William Cowper memorably wrote, “God moves in a mysterious ways; His wonders to perform.”
Wonders aside, when you look at the evidence it’s hard to avoid thinking that God is a bit of a troll. A mischief-maker. Maybe he just gets bored up there in heaven and messes with the Republican Party to relieve the monotony of all those endless perfect days in paradise. It’s got to be something like that because how else can we explain him sending signs and messages to several GOP candidates at the same time, encouraging each of them to run for President, without letting on to them he was doing exactly the same to other candidates as well ?
He did, you know. In the early stages of the GOP’s impressively awful presidential campaign. Republicans Ted Cruz, Scott Walker, Rick Perry, Ben Carson, John Kasich, Mike Huckabee, and Rick Santorum to name but a few all claimed to have been encouraged by the almighty to run for the same job. Scott Walker, for example, told everyone who would listen that his candidacy was ‘Gods Plan’, before deciding after some rather dismal poll results that perhaps it wasn’t.
Which is rather puzzling for anyone trying to understand what goes on between God and the GOP. If, as he said, Scott Walker running for President was God’s plan then did God change his mind at some point and tell Scott the deal was off ? Or, if not, did Scott decide himself that he knew better than God so he would just ignore God’s plan ? Hopefully it was Mr Walker who was confused rather than God. Certainly everyone else struggled to make any sense of it.
Remember also the sainted Rick Perry ? He had no such confusion when he told a radio host he decided to run after a message from God. Unfortunately he didn’t say what form the message came in. Perhaps it was voices in his head telling him to run for President. Voices in the head telling you to do things is always a reassuring sign in a candidate for a post that involves having your finger on the nuclear trigger, isn’t it ? Or maybe it was a celestial text, like .. ‘Hey Rick .. you should totes run for Prez .. LOL .. xx God’. It’s a shame we never found out.
When you think about it, God does have quite a cheeky history of meddling in American politics. There was exactly the same kind of divine interference in past elections if you believe previous GOP candidates. That’s not all he gets up to either. It’s not that long since Illinois Republican Susanne Atanus was telling us confidently that God had been peppering the USA with tornadoes, autism, and dementia as punishment for gay rights and legalized abortions. AIDS too apparently. And of course God allegedly approved of George W Bush invading Iraq and slaughtering hundreds of thousands of innocent people. You’d think that, being omniscient, God would have known there were no WMD’s.
What Ms Palin and others in the GOP seem to want us to believe is that God has been working overtime in recent years sending hurricanes, floods, disease, natural and financial catastrophes, and various other vile and vicious torments to punish America for gayness, abortion, random ‘liberal’ ideas, molly-coddling the undeserving poor, and daring to elect a non-white person as President. Any spare moments were spent feverishly messaging multiple Republicans and trying to persuade them all to run for the President’s job. And when he became bored with stirring up mischief like this himself God got Donald Trump elected to serve as his troll-in-chief in the Whitehouse.
Against this background it’s hard to avoid one of two conclusions. Either there is a God (he, she, or it) who is deeply invested in American right-wing politics and is a mean-spirited, misogynistic bigot who doesn’t give a flying fuck about love, peace, or kindness but is perfectly cool with dishing out misery, disease, and death to anyone who offends his 1950’s-era sensibilities OR every Republican politician who drags God into the conversation is totally full of bullshit.
Those are the only two options. I shall leave it to you to decide which you think is most likely.