let me stroke your beard

Made For: @emmiiclare21
Request: Hi, i’m a fan of your writing, its so well done that i get the feels so bad. Do you do death imagines? If so can you do an imagine where your Halfdan’s lover and your killed in battle? Please and thank you.
Note: I cried, like for real, I cried writing this, do you never ever do that to me again, this was so sad. Broke my heart.
Warnings: Fluff - Fighting - Angst - Death
Words: 3055

Tags: @burningsunshin3 @itharley @miss-brightly-red @inthenameofodin @raekenimages @float-autumn-leave @zombie-zayde @nothingbuthappydays @odins-missing-eye @decaffeinatedeaglefart @ruler-of-hel 


The horns of Rogaland filled the air with a recognizable blast. Maybe the sound you were waiting for days now because after weeks of missing him you would be glad to see him back. The dark horse walked carefully downwards to the harbor, your arm wrapped around your three year old daughter, she was excited, as excited as you were. ‘Will he bring me a present?’ She asked as you leaded the horse through the village, he was always careful with your daughter around, like he didn’t want to miss step. You looked down, smiling and placing a kiss on her blond curly hair.
‘Maybe.’ You smiled, seeing how driven she became when the harbor approached. The boats were already so close and way too much people gathered around so you stayed on your horse, giving the height you and your daughter had a good look. Your eyes scouted the first boats until you found him, pointing your finger out to Halfdan who jumped on the slippery wooden docks as soon as the boat kicked against it. But he was alone. While you tried to get your Eyia safe to the ground you looked to the other boats, where was King Harald? You jumped from the horse, helping your daughter out of the saddle, wrapping your fingers around her shoulder when she tried to run off.
‘Mother!’ She muttered angry. But you weren’t looking at her, your eyes were fixed on Halfdan who met your gaze as he walked through the mass. Eyia tried to get your hand away from her shoulder but you were so focused on looking at Halfdan, the way the understanding, the words, floated between the both of you. Harald died? It was until he shifted his look down to Eyia that you let her go. She ran off to her father, screaming out of joy when he caught her in the act over running and wrapped his arms around her. That sweet embrace, from a father and daughter almost killed you on the spot. That embrace hold for a strong ten seconds before he pulled his head back from her shoulder and looked at her. But he didn’t say a thing, placing her on the ground before walking over to you. This should have been a happy moment, all you did now was cupping half his face and placing a kiss against his cheek.
‘I’m sorry.’ You whispered. You felt his beard tickle against your neck when he placed his lips there. ‘Valhalla will feast.’ He pulled back, stroking his rough fingers over your cheek.
‘I have missed my wife.’ He followed, ignoring his grief by placing his lips on yours. Eyia wrapped an arm around your leg, letting you know that she was still around while all you did was taste the sweet sensation of your husband back around. ‘Let’s go home, I’m in need of rest.’
‘Are you wounded?’ You asked, looking over his clothes. He placed a finger under your chin and pushed your head back up.
‘Let’s go home.’ He repeated himself. You only nodded, seeing how much need he had of just that. You didn’t know how Harald died, or when but you know Halfdan would have a hard time dealing with it.

Normally when he came back from a raid you were all he wanted, your body, to hear you moan. But tonight he didn’t, he fell asleep way to fast without hardly saying a words. You had sit there more than an hour looking at him before sleep caught you to. It was somewhere before midnight you woke up from the sharp noise through the house. You squeezed your eyes together, sleepy, before turning around, facing an empty spot. You pulled the sheets away and got out of bed only to find him, half naked, sharpening his sword. Your eyes rested on his back, on the deep curve that was made in his flesh, a wound he hardly felt himself but probably would infect if it didn’t got treatment. You laid your hand from behind on his shoulder, stroking his neck while you walked around him. He laid his sword aside on the table, pulling you in a swift gesture down to his lap. You laid your fingertips against the shaved part of his head, your elbow resting on his shoulder. ‘Talk Halfdan, what happened?’ You asked him with the concern sincerely in your eyes. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. You rested your forehead against his before you lowered your lips, kissing him almost gently. He grabbed it, you felt his tongue swirl around yours in that slow sweet pace. You felt his fingers dig into your nightgown. And when he pulled back he kept his forehead against yours.
‘He was killed in battle, I don’t have the details, I only know that they will pay for what they did.’ He whispered. You turned your head, looking to the sword he was sharpening.
‘Don’t rush into it.’ You advised him, scared that his vengeance would be his own undoing.  
‘I won’t, I’m here with you and you are the part of me that considers all possibilities.’ He managed to get a weak smile on his lips. You knew him to be fearless, strong, possessive and nothing of that was radiating from him right now. You looked into his eyes before you signed and pulled your forehead away from his.
‘Did you spoke him, before he died?’ You asked carefully. It wasn’t that you were scared of his temper, but you were scared in how far it could push him, this grief, this loss. He just shook his hand, feeling your body underneath the light fabrics covering it.
‘My brother always believed in being the King of all Norway, I think that is what him killed, that and Ivar.’
‘You want to fight Ivar?’ You asked a little concerned. You knew only the stories, saw that boy once but the stories weren’t good.
‘Lagertha wants and I’m siding with her and Björn. He reached back to the sword but you stopped him, laying your hand over his. His look change, got something impatience, dominant.
‘Let me come with you.’ You suggested. You were a warrior once, not the best shield maiden but you did a raid of two before he caged you in his love. ‘Harald isn’t there to cover your side, please let me fight in Harald’s honor.’ You stroke your fingertips over his beard, holding on to it while you looked into his eyes.
‘Eyia?’
‘She can go to my brother, he has children to, one more of less won’t hurt him.’ You smiled in a reassuring way. He didn’t love to send Eyia away to others, he always wanted to take care of her within the family, just you and him. But it wasn’t a bad thing, to let her go to other places, at least she wouldn’t grow to much on you given Halfdan wasn’t much around when he was of raiding.
‘I can’t lose you to.’ He said, cupping you face in an almost desperate manor.
‘The gods wouldn’t be so cruel.’
‘They would, I deserve it, did plenty wrong.’
‘And you did plenty good to,’ you protested, placing your lips on his. He signed against it, opening his mouth to taste you whole. ‘Let me come One time.’ You whispered, twisting your neck when his lips started to kiss you behind your ear, your neck, your sensitive skin.
‘I will.’ He gave in. You smiled a little, happy with the fact he obliged to it.
‘Then come to bed, let me prepare you for battle, let me sharpen your sword, let me tend your wounds. You are tired husband, you are in grief. It’s my duty as a wife to make sure you feel ready again.’ You told him, your words more powerful than the feeling you felt inside. Your fingers roomed his bare chest but you couldn’t look away from him.
‘I didn’t deserve you, not after what I did.’
‘And yet here I am.’ You whispered, getting off his lap. He followed you all the way back to the bedroom. You untied your nightgown on the way, losing it on the ground so he had a look over your naked body from behind. A scar running over your back, remembering you every time again that the first time you met Halfdan The Black wasn’t the nicest meeting. He grabbed your from behind before you reached the bed. He placed his lips from behind you against your collarbone while his hands roamed your body. A slight moan left your lips when his fingers traveled between your tights. You turned around to him, kissing him passionate before he laid you down on the bed and forgot his grief for a while in your love.

It was a long time ago you braided your hair this tight and strong. That you even carried a shield around while you trained mostly with only a sword. It wasn’t a skill you forgot, fighting, it was something that stayed. You were looking to Lagertha from a far of distant, the way she talked with her son and Ubbe. In a way they would fight their own family, not Lagertha but the brothers. They probably did it for a reason, just as Halfdan did it for a reason. You didn’t felt him standing still beside you until he grabbed your chin and you followed his finger, looking right up in his eyes. ‘You don’t have to do this for me.’ He warned you, although it sounded a lot tenderer that he probably expected it to be.
‘I’m doing it for Harald, we are doing if for Harald.’ You pressured on the matter. In the time from then to now you restored him for a big part back to who Halfdan The Black presented, a fierce man. And you were proud to be his wife. He crashed his lips down on yours and you needed to hold on to his armor, wrapping your other arm around his neck while he kissed you this passionate for everybody to see. When he pulled back his forehead rested against yours, both out of breath by his act.
‘Be safe.’ He whispered.
‘Be fierce, I love you, with all my heart.’ You said back, smiling because of the tenderness that crawled over his expressions. You stroke your hand over his jawline and kissed him short, smiling up to him. Both your attention turned to Lagertha who moved her army forward. Björn walked over to the both of you and you let go of Halfdan, just nodding.
‘You brought your wife?’ He asked, surprised.
‘Certain woman are worth killing for.’ Halfdan answered, giving you one of his possessive looks. You just rolled your eyes to him.
‘Motivation enough to get us through this battle.’ Björn chuckled, the both of you looking at you like you were a rabbit to hunt after. A horn blew his sounds in the air and the three of you turned around, joining the army in the first ranks. You looked at that chariot, galloping before another group of Vikings before it turned your way and held still. You slowly looked aside to Halfdan who had all his attention fixed on killing more than one of his. You had a three year old waiting at home, if Halfdan wasn’t planning on making it you sure as hell needed to. But as soon as then started to charge you forget all of that, you forgot the speech Lagertha was yelling a little while before, you forgot Eyia who was waiting for you to get home, you even forgot Halfdan in the progress. You just laid focus on the first one charging at you. Your grip around your sword tightened, feet bringing you closer before your sword made a nice clean cut over his stomach, him dropping down on the ground in an instant. You looked at him, a slight smile spreading over your lips before turning around again, fully fighting those Vikings. They swung axes, smashed shields while you just fought lightly with a sword. Halfdan was not that much further, killing in all his rage for the loss over his brother. That was the reason you were here, to cover his back. He forgot it sometimes, in his drift to kill and you saved him two times in the first half hour of the battle. A large man came at you and somewhere in the back of your head you felt like running, thinking about Eyia who was home with your brother, waiting. But before you even had the change to back away out of this you had to defense yourself with your sword. He closed his fingers around the sharp edges and just pulled it out of your hands, leaving his hands with large cuts. Your eyes grew a little bigger, dogging his attacks before gripping the little blade on your back, pulling it out, slitting it over his arm, leaving a slight line of blood dripping down from it. He looked down to it before grasping for you again. You back away and when he grabbed for your one wrist you switched the blade to you other but as soon as you wanted to stab him he caught both your wrists, forcing that blade in your hand, turning it, pushing it towards your body. You tried to lose the grip around it, started to fight your way out of his grip, panic catching you in all the right places. He tackled you, following with that blade caught between your two hands. You gasped when you felt it pierce through your body, right somewhere underneath your heart. He left the knife in your chest and your hands started to shake as you tried to stop the bleeding around it. Stabbed by your own dagger, would death come sooner than you think?

You looked at your blooded hands folded around the knife before you rested your head in the grass, gasping for air, gazing at the sky with the sounds of battle behind you. You saw Vikings running fort and back, begging for some attention. You weren’t leaving to Valhalla until you spoke Halfdan at least one last time. But it was Björn who found you first.
‘Y/n?’ He fell down on his knees, looking over your blood soaked armor before he looked up. ‘HALFDAN!’ He yelled fierce. It drew immediately all attention. You turned your head, looking over the dead bodies until you found him, running over. He throw his sword away as soon as he saw you lying there.
‘No, Y/n,’ He fell down on his knees, looking to the wound before looking up to you. ‘you are not dying.’ He warned you angry. But you could see the fear, the emotions setting around the corners of his eyes. He tore a piece of his tunic and pulled that blade out it one swift motion. You gasped, losing your consciousness in black spots before your eyes. He tied the fabrics around your chest, way to harsh but in a great need for you to not die here on the spot. He lifted you in his arms, a warm spill of blood came out of the wound and your head weakened against your chest, falling for it, falling for the darkness.

When you opened your eyes, which you hardly could, everything was blurry. It was like something covered your ears, hiding the sounds from outside. Your sight was shifty, not sharp and clear and your body felt cold and sweaty on the same time. Your head fell to the left, looking to Halfdan who tightened his grip around your hand as he saw you move. You wanted to cry, so badly hard but it didn’t come. Why did you do this? Why did you come with him? Why did you fought when you had a daughter sitting home? And it was like those questions reflexed in his eyes. He didn’t asked but you answered, slowly and hardly shaking your head. You weren’t gonna get better, this didn’t feel like that. He lifted your hand against his lips, kissing them before he laid his free hand on your forehead.
‘I’m sorry.’ You forced out.
‘Don’t talk.’ He commanded you, but he sounded as broken as you felt. You looked at him, until you saw him break, until you saw a tear running down his cheek. He never cried before, not when you were pregnant, not when you married, not when you gave birth and now he did. He lowered his head, resting it against your shoulder, hiding his face from you. You lifted your hand, embracing his neck from behind while the silent tears started to run over your cheeks.
‘Take care,’ you took a new hard breath. ‘of her, tell her about me, tell her about us.’ You hardly got it out for each word caused you pain.
‘I can’t lose you Y/n, I can’t lose the woman I love, the mother of my child.’
‘You have to Halfdan.’ You whispered. He looked at you, wild tears blurring his vision. ‘You are … the best that ever … happened to … me.’ You closed your eyes tired of fighting your own body. ‘I will join … Harald.’ You followed, stroking his hair with the left over from your energy. He bowed, placing his lips on yours, contacting his forehead with yours.
‘You are the best that happened to me and I will avenge this,’
‘Don’t …’ you sucked in a new breath. ‘think about Eyia.’
‘How do I need to tell her that,’
‘I will watch … over … to the both of you.’ You interrupted him. Your hand slipped away from his head and your breath became more shallow. ‘Always.’ You promised him, closing your eyes as you felt every bit of life slip out of your body. You heard him shout out, pressing his head against your shoulder while you walked over to the gates of Valhalla, looking up to their graciousness as they pushed open, inviting you to the feast. You turned around, not believing this was real.
‘It’s way too early for you to arrive here in Valhalla Y/n.’ You turned around, looking at the man standing there.
‘King Harald.’
‘Just Harald.’ He smiled before embracing you. This was the beginning of an end.