let me see if i can spell this right

witch tips!

🚬 if you smoke,drawing sigils on ciggarettes might be effective. think about it,it’s drawn on paper,it burns alongside tobacco (charging),it enters your lungs (could also mean charging),you release the smoke into the air (casting).
❗PLEASE DON’T DO THIS IF YOU DON’T ALREADY SMOKE. don’t start smoking because of a tumblr post 🚭
🔥 drawing sigils on plastic lighters or carving them into metal ones could also be a thing,you’d have to charge it yourself but it could be practical
🐚 i like picking rocks i feel drawn to,blessing them,and placing them in my turtle’s tank,i’m guessing blessed or charged water would do too
👑 also. you could like gather all your jewels in place and assign each one an element according to your intuition,and charge them accordingly. like keep earth jewels buried in your plants’ pots or (ONLY FOR METAL ONES) place them in/above a fire,take a bath with the water-y jewels & some sigils for charging,although i have yet to find a method to charge them with air energy.
💍 as for the above,you can totally charge items in moonwater (i’ve a dark purple-ish charm that i keep in moonwater hidden in the dark,and i feel both The Moon’s energy and also some dark energy in it,but that may be because i used said charm for some fucked up shit)
🌹 rose petals man. i felt guilty when my ex came over with roses & all i could think of was “man im so gonna use these” (but he turned out to be an asshole so now i dont feel guilty about using them) so like if you got roses from someone,you can use the petals to make a glamour especially to draw said person to you,or to solve some relationship problems,and if you don’t want none of that & you’re looking for revenge or smth you’d just have to wait until the roses die and you could add the petals in your craft,i found them to be especially strong in break up spells
📷 if you’re looking for revenge or you want someone to suffer for whatever reason,you could take a picture of them and use it. i started using this method before i ever got into withcraft and it’s proved to be extremely effective. it doesn’t even have to be like an album photo,heck you can print their profile pic from social media and fucking burn it. just do it. but it would have to be someone you really hate,yknow,intent matters a lot. bonus points for: burning with sigils,stabbing the picture (EXTRA bonus points if you have a knife you’re fond of and use it for stabbing!), having your blood on the pic before burning it (it was an accident but it worked out way better than i thought), placing a few rusty metal things like screws in the fire,placing something of theirs,blasting fitting music.
🚪 as a continuation for what i said above,i found it extremely helpful to like,gather the ashes of the picture & sigils (add in the metal things or the personal item) and like…drop that shit near the person’s house. just do it. once i gathered the ashes and like mixed them with water and put it in a bottle,got to said person’s block,and like…just..poured that nasty mixture there. (the bitch broke her jaw that night,she says she was “yawning” lol bitch nah. just to give you a glimpse of what this can do)
☕ ok but like enough of the negative shit. you need charging too. try charging your coffee/tea/energy drinks for fucks sake they all work. charge with intent,sigils,even place herbs or condiments (cinnamon in coffee doesn’t tase bad at all!)
🍃 if a leaf falls right in front of you,take it. add it to your altar. do it everytime a leaf falls in front of you. you’ll end up with a big pile of leaves but they do have a purpose
🎤 MUSIC. your voice is extremely powerful. singing while doing a spell is like a legit way to add more power to it. singing while making a glamour does wonders. singing while performing cleansing/warding rituals - singing while cursing - even just singing with intent - they all work. (for reference - you can change the lyrics as you wish. i like singing the “flower gleam and glow” song from tangled to my flowers,i also adapt it to the elements i work with , for example “darkness hear my call/let your powers show” idk i like keeping rhymes but i don’t think it’s necessary)
✒ not to mention how useful it would be to like..write your own stuff. like a poem for a creature/spirit/presence you want to summon or for a deity you worship.
✅ speaking of writing. i like to write a “wishlist” with a pencil (instead of a pen or marker) on paper + add a “my wishes are granted” sigil on it,and burn it and throw the ashes in the wind. the sigil is charged,cast and you stated your wishes. you can determine if it’s going to work or not by paying attention to the paper when it burns. did it have trouble lighting up? did certain words come out of the fire unharmed? probably not gonna work. also pay attention to the ashes like idk how to explain,but some days the ashes just go…down when i throw them in the wind,and other days they fly-almost float-in the wind,in a beautiful way,they almost look like gray butterflies.
⛔ however,you have to be like super explicit whenever you’re making a wish,just like when you ask for something in a spell or from a deity. be clear. not to mention to charge with intent. for example i’ve made wishes that x and y would break up,only to find that the two of them have only been arguing,or that they broke up but made up right back.
🌃 find energy wherever you are.take advantage. if you’re on a street with many running cars,feel the energy,draw it to you. same goes for when you’re out at night and see lights. (my ex used to take me to a bridge where there were train tracks still in use,and the ground would shake when a train was passing there. i could feel the energy when a train was passing right next to us. i collected rocks and herbs from there,and i let a charm hidden there overnight to charge)
🍺 do.not.mix.alcohol.and.withcraft. DO.NOT. like yes you can do whatever you wish to with YOUR craft,and some spells or rituals require adding alcohol,but please for the love of all that is holy please don’t attempt to do anything witchy while you’re drunk.

that’s all i have for now,most of these are pretty basic but i’m sure some of you will find this helpful. take care ✨

Prompts/Blurbs List

I put together a list of different prompts and blurbs about the Dolan Twins! Feel free to request which ever ones you want. Also, If you do happen to use any of these, please give credit! 


1. “I miss you.“ 

2. “Would you feel better if I let you hold my hand?”

 3. “Do you have any feelings whatsoever? Or are you always just a complete dick?" 

4. "I don’t love you anymore." 

5. "Hey babe, did you eat my sandwich?”

 6. “I thought you were different." 

7. "I’d rather be smothered with a pillow in the middle of the night then go on a date with you.”

 8. “Wait a minute..Are you jealous?" 

9. "Fuck off, she’s mine." 

10. "I’m glad you find my boyfriend attractive, now fuck off." 

11. "I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

12. “Do you love her?”

13. “Wait.. You’ve never had your first kiss?!”

14. “Oh, and that’s Dolan. He’s the perfect example as to why condoms are necessary.”

15. “Did you just smack my ass?”

16. “Are you kidding me? This shit was expensive you twat.”

17. “Stop being a tool and put your fucking shirt down. You’re taking a picture for Instagram, not sending ab pics.”

18. “You’re not welcome.”

19. “And you wonder why we broke up in the first place.”

20. “…My bad?”

21. “Do you not trust me?”

22. “Have you ever masturbated?”

23. “Can I play with your hair?”

24. “If you say like one more time, I’m gonna like totally choke you the fuck out!”

25. “By all means, go fuck yourself.”

26. “Can you shut the fuck up?”

27. “Wow nice job. 5 brownie points for you!”

28. “Fuck that was so hot.”

29. “DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A HICKEY?”

30. “You belong with me.”

31. “Hey, I’m right here. Shh you’re okay.”

32. “Do you seriously have a boner right now?”

33. “Were you staring at her tits?”

34. “This isn’t the first promise you’ve broken.”

35. “Don’t you ever fucking do that again, you hear me?”

36. “Yes, Daddy.”

37. “My ex was never like this.”

38. “Is that my football jersey?”

39. “Hey babe, do you have any tweezers?”

40. “Why are you crying?”

41. “You know I never meant to hurt you, right?”

42. “Y-You thought I was gonna hit you?..”

43. “Your boobs are comfy.”

44. “I swear to god if you make one more smart ass comment I’m gonna stomp your balls, you dickwad.”

45. “What did you just say?”

46. “Did you just call me (Your/Ex’s/Name?)

47. “Hey baby, I’m drunk as fuck and I miss you so much. Please come home.”

48. “I’ll give you a blowjob if you go and get me some skittles.”

49. “How did you manage to fuck this up?”

50. “Do you ever regret it?”

51. “Shut your mouth and kiss me, damnit.”

52. “What the hell is on your face?”

53. “OOOH KINKY”

54. “Can we just cuddle?”

55. “Baby, my tummy hurts.”

56. “You have such a nice butt.”

57. “Sorry, I-I can’t get comfortable.”

58. “I want kisses.”

59. “She came onto me, I swear!”

60. “Stop giving me the puppy eyes.. Ugh fine, fuck you.”

61. “Did you know sex is exercise?’

62. “You’re not going out like that.”

63. “You smell good.”

64. “You mean the world to me.”

65. “Promise me you’ll be here when I wake up.”

66. “I may be drunk but I know for a fact that I love you.”

67. “Uhm.. Your book is upside down.”

68. “That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.”

69. “Stop teasing me.”

70. “You’re gonna get it when we get home.”

71. “Pretty please?”

72. “What the fuck are you giggling at? it’s 3am.”

73. “Can you just hold me?”

74. “Can I be the little spoon tonight?”

75. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, bitch.”

76. “Obviously I’m upset.”

77. “Fuck that feels good.”

78. “Stop being so horny.”

79. “Sure, go hangout with your ex. I mean, I might as well text mine, too.”

80. “You’re mine. You got that?”

81. “I know I’m your bestfriend but I want so much more.”

82. “I think I should call heaven because it looks like they’re missing an angel.”

83. “I think I just shit myself.”

84. “I have to let you go.”

85. “You broke my fucking heart.”

86. “You mean everything to me. And I’ll be damned if I were to let you walk out on me right now.”

87. “I swear to god I won’t have sex with you for a whole month if you don’t kill that eight legged motherfucker.”

88. “I want to come home.”

89. “You’re so cheesy.”

90. “You need to chill, babe.”

91. “How do you spell aluminum?”

92. “Do I look fat in this?”

93. “You can do so much better that me.”

94. “Wow you have nice abs.”

95. “You make fun of me for being short, but do you see me making fun of your small ass dick? No? Exactly. Shut your ass up.”

96. “Wow you’re really tall.”

97. “You were the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.”

98. “Can I kiss you?”

99. “I know, this was just an excuse to cuddle.”

100. “Maybe we should just order some pizza..”

Hell and Silence || Chapter Seven

MASTERLIST

Warnings: Smut, Swearing, Fighting

Word Count: 7,503

A/N: ChAPTER SEVEN! How are you guys liking Derek and Vanessa so far? I love them.

Chapter One     Chapter Two    Chapter Three    Chapter Four     Chapter Five     Chapter Six


CHAPTER SEVEN


VANESSA

“Isaac, please calm down, you’re going to wake up my dad.” I tried to coax him, but nothing was working. Isaac managed to keep his poise the entire ride back to the house, but as soon as Allison drove away, he lost it. He would have thrown me against the wall if I hadn’t ducked out of the way.

Keep reading

I'm comin' home (AJ Styles x Reader)

(First Fic on tumblr! I know I’m not the best writer in the world but I can’t get better if I don’t keep writing and practicing! I’ve read through it twice and didn’t see any grammar/spelling errors but if I notice one later I’ll fix it!)
Characters: AJ Styles, you, a little Dean Ambrose, mention of Nikki Bella
Warnings: Angst, possible cheating
Very loosely (like you can see it if you close your left eye and close your right eye) based on the song Hold On by the Scott Brothers And a special shoutout to one of my favorite blogs llowkeys (my mobile won’t let me tag) for being my go to AJ source for all things from sassy answer to anons to very sexy pictures of the one and only AJ. You helped inspire this so I hope you like it.
————————————————

It’s been four days. Four days since I’ve talked to AJ. Its not for lack of trying on my part either. I’ve tried calling, face-timing, and texting him and he never responds. He’s never done this before. Normally he calls me all the time when he’s on the road. During the day he’d send me pictures of him out and about with his coworkers/friends. And on nights when I really missed him I could convince him to FaceTime me so I could see his smiling face. But now I can’t get him to talk to me.
I tried to think back to the last time we talked. About 5 days ago he called me from a town in Ohio where Smackdown was being taped. He said he was getting ready for bed and wanted to say goodnight to me. We talked for an hour before hanging up. I don’t think any negative things were sad. He was pretty happy with how Smackdown turned out. I, of course, had watched and told him how proud I was of him. We talked about how he would be home in 5 days, which meant he would be home today. I couldn’t think of anything that would make him mad at me. Maybe I said something and he misunderstood me. I guess I’ll find out when he comes home and I’ll explain everything.
AJ would be home around 6 tonight. I had everything planned out on how to figure out why he stopped responding to me. I’d cook his favorite meal and we’d talk over dinner. Once noon rolled around I decided to head to the store and pick up the ingredients for dinner. I get dressed and head out. I walk around the grocery store grabbing anything I’ll need for tonight. I check over my shopping and see the next item on the list is seasonings. I push the cart to the aisle and look for the seasons I need. Then I hear someone talking. Normally I would never listen in on a strangers conversation but I could have sworn they said AJ’s name. We lived in a somewhat small town, as a way to distance ourselves from the spotlight AJ lives in when he’s on the road. It was normal for people to gossip especially about the town celebrity. I looked around and saw two woman I didn’t know at the other end of the aisle looking away from me. “I’m telling you Helen it’s true. My son Jimmy told me. He has one of those wrestling fan sites and someone posted a picture of AJ Styles with some girl in his lap at a bar. And it was for sure not his fiancée.” “I don’t know Nancy. I’ve run into him a few times. He seems like such a nice guy. And I’ve seen him and (Y/N), I think that’s his fiancées name, out on dates a few times when William and I go out. They seem pretty happy and pretty in love.” “Let’s see if I can find the site my son showed me.” The first woman, Nancy, said pulling our her phone. “Well it’s not the same website but there’s quite a few links on here. Poor (Y/N). I wonder if she knows yet.” Both women shrug and start up on a new topic while walking father from me and to a new aisle. I get my phone from my purse and google ‘AJ Styles cheating’. AJ and I wanted to keep our relationship semi private. I didn’t want to the spotlight but he felt like it was important that people know we were together. He figured it may help keep gold digger girls off him. But I guess that wasn’t working. Google finally pops up results and I don’t believe my eyes. At least seven websites are reporting on AJ with different woman. I open a few of the links and almost cry right there in the grocery store. Dozens of pictures of AJ are posted. Each one he has a beer in one hand and a different girl near him or on his lap. This must be some joke. I look through the other websites and it’s all the same. I close my phone and walk out of the store without the items I was shopping for. I was in no mood to cook for him tonight. Tonight would be him explaining to me what the hell is going on. Once I get home I start crying. Why would AJ cheat on me? Was he getting tired of me? Was this his way of calling off our wedding that was only 3 months away? After a few minutes of tears and questioning everything I decided to find out some truth. I had only been to live shows a few times but while I was there some of the super stars gave me their numbers in case of emergency and I couldn’t get a hold of AJ. I look through my contacts and just decide to try Dean Ambrose. He and AJ didn’t get along well but he was always nice to me and I imagine he was also at bars and would tell me the truth. He doesn’t seem like the kinda guy to sugar coat things. Right as I’m about to hit the call button a text from AJ finally appears. “Sorry babe can’t make it home this week. Something came up we all have to stay. Try to be home next week. - AJ” What? He wasn’t coming home at all? We haven’t seen each other in a month or talked in almost a week and the only thing he has to stay is Sorry. He didn’t say he missed me or that he loved me? Once I read the message again to make sure I’m reading it correctly I call Dean. It rings three times then he answers. “This is Dean.” “Hey Dean. This is (Y/N) (Y/L/N). AJ’s fiancée. Have you seen AJ lately? He hasn’t been answer my calls and I’m worried about him.” I decide not to jump straight to the is my fiancé cheating on me line. “I’ve seen him a few times since the show. Seems like he’s fine. Hasn’t been making that stupid face he makes when he’s pissed.” “Okay. Now, um, this is really awkward but to ask but I figured you out of all people would give me a straight answer. I’ve seen the pictures on social media of AJ at bars with other women. Are those real? Is that really happening?” There’s a silence on the other end of the line. That can’t be good. It means he is trying to find the right way to tell me AJ is cheating. “Yeah they are. I’m sorry (Y/N). After the first time it happened we figured he was drunk and not thinking straight. Nothing happened the girl just danced on him and sat with him. When it happened again the next time Nikki Bella asked him what he was doing since he has a fiancée and all. He just snapped at her and told her to mind her own damn business. She thought about telling you but then realized no one but AJ knew your number.” With every word he said my world came crashing down. AJ was cheating on me. “So he starting talking girls back to his room?” “He took them somewhere.” “Is it true that something came up and you all have to stay for another week? He just sent me a text saying that.” “Yes that one is true. They scheduled wrong and our week off is in a week not this week. Listen I’ve gotta go but I’ll talk to AJ for you. I won’t tell him you know about the girls but I’ll tell him to actually call you since you’re worried about him.” “Okay. Thanks Dean you’ve been very helpful.” “No problem (Y/N). I hope things work out.” And with that the phone call is ended. For the next few days AJ still doesn’t call. Dean has started texting me updates on him though. He told AJ to call me and AJ said he would at some point but that hasn’t happened. Dean did say he hasn’t been hanging around any girls at the bars so that’s good I guess. I can’t believe the only contact I’m having with my fiancé is through a guy he can barely stand. During the rare moments I’m not thinking about AJ I’m thinking about our wedding. The wedding that might be called off. I had already bought a dress but I could sell it only. Same with the rings. The stone in my engagement ring was my grandmothers so I’ll take the stone back and him the rose gold setting back. I’ll see if I can take his silver band back to the jeweler where I bought it. Food could easily be canceled. Same with venue and hotel rooms among other odds and ends. I’d have to tell my family. That would be a mess. I’d have to move out of the house since it was his before we got together. I’d probably have to move back to home with my parents and find a job to save up money to rent an apartment. And here I thought I was living in a perfect fantasy world. Guess not. Today is a week later which means AJ should be home today. I don’t know if I’m ready. I’ve trying to mentally prepare myself for the last couple of nights. My phone started ringing while I was making my self some lunch. I knew who it was before I even looked at the caller ID. AJ had set his intro music has his ringtone on my phone. Everyone else was stuck with the generic ringtones preset on the phone. I take a deep breath before answer. “Hello.” “Hey Darlin’ I’m packing up now and I’ll be at the airport soon. So I’ll be home in about 3 hours. Is my girl gonna be waiting on me?” That’s what I normally did. I would go to the airport and wait for him to land and once I saw him I would run into his arms. But how could he be acting so casual? After everything that has happened. I take another breath and decide to call him out on it. “You’ve been cheating on me. And don’t lie either. I’ve seen the pictures and I’ve talking with Dean Ambrose. You didn’t talk to me for days and I have to find out you’ve been hanging around other women at bars from two strangers in the grocery store. And even when Dean told you I was worried and you to call me you didn’t. So tell me what the hell is going on? Is this your way of saying you want to call off the wedding and break up? Should I start packing my bags now and book a plane ticket to my parents?” By the end of this I’m crying. “Darlin’. Please don’t cry. I-I… It’s a lot to explain. I promise I don’t want to call off the wedding. I love you. Once I get home I’ll explain everything to you. Okay?” He sounded sincere. Like he was sorry. “I’ll be at the airport. It’s raining here and you should walk in the rain.” “Thank you Darlin’. I have a surprise for you. You’re gonna love it. I’ll see you soon. I love you.” “I love you too.” It’s such a knee jerk reaction I don’t have time to stop myself from saying it. But then again I do still love him. I start getting ready to head to the airport. After a shower, where I think about everything AJ said, I get dressed and do hair and makeup. Then I get to the airport and want by the baggage claim for AJ. Twenty minutes and a lot of games of phone solitaire later I hear people walking towards the area where I’m standing. I put my phone in my purse and look up. He’s one of the last to get to the claim area. I walk over to him and don’t say anything. He smiled a somewhat sad smile at me and waits for his suitcase to arrive. Once it does he grabs it and we wordlessly walk to the parking lot. “Do you want me to drive?” This is the first thing he says to me. “No. I couldn’t find the keys to the truck so I had to bring my car and you don’t like driving my car.” I say as we reach my car. He puts his bag in the backseat and we both get in. The drive is silent. Which is so unusual for us. Normally he’s telling me about his trip and at some point his hand will makes its way to mine and doesn’t let go until we are home. We reach home and head inside. AJ sets his suitcase in our room and comes back out to the living where I’m sitting on the couch waiting on his explanation. He sits in the chair across from me and sighs dragging his hand down his face. Something he does when he’s nervous or doesn’t want to talk about something. “I promise nothing happened with those girls. I didn’t sleep with any of them. I didn’t kiss them. Nothing happened. I only brought one back to my room and as soon I opened the door I thought of you and sent her away. I don’t know what got into me Darlin’. I guess I’m just worried about the wedding. I’m getting nervous. I don’t want what happened last time to happen again.” This would be AJ’s second marriage. The first ended in divorce. “But it won’t. I love you and would never cheat on you like she did. You are the only guy in the world for me. I care about you more then I care about myself.” I try my best to hold back the tears in my eyes but they slip anyway. AJ leans closer to me and wipes them away before sitting back straight. “I know that. And I was being stupid. And I am so sorry Darlin’. I promise it won’t happen again. These last two weeks I’ve been an idiot and I can’t believe I hurt my favorite girl for such a stupid reason. Can you forgive me?” “Hey can I be so sure it won’t happen again? There’s just a few months until the wedding and even after that things could happen.” “Come on the road with me. You’ve always said you want to travel and see new places. We would have to be more public with our relationship but you know I love you and you love me why not let people how much we love each other.” He moves from the chair to the couch and takes my hand in his. “Please forgive me Darlin’. I’ll do anything to prove how sorry I am.” I look down at our hands together. My tiny fingers laced with his bigger ones. Light reflecting off the stone in my ring. I look up to his face and I can see the sadness in his blue eyes. I take free hand and brush an out of place from his forehead and smile. “Okay. I’ll forgive you. And I’ll come on the road with you too.” His face breaks out into one of the biggest smiles I’ve ever seen and he kisses me for the first time in over a month. It’s simple, soft, and full of love. We pull apart and I lean into his chest and he wraps his arms around me. “Where’s my present? You said you bought me something?” He looks at me for a spilt second and laughs. “We just had a very touching heart-to-heart talk and now all you can think about is your present?” “Well if it’s from you then it’s bound to be an awesome present.” “It’s in my suitcase. I’ll go get it.” I lean up so he can get off the couch. He disappears to our bedroom and soon returns with a plain blue gift bag. He sits back down and pulls me on to his lap. “Here you go Darlin’.” He hands me the bag and I immediately reach my hand in. What I pull out is a t-shirt. One of his WWE merch t-shirts. A shirt that I probably have at least 3 more of in my dresser. I look at AJ for a moment confused and he takes the shirt and turns it around. On the back it says ‘AJ’s wife & Number 1 Fangirl’. I smile and giggle a little before setting the shirt aside. “I love it. I’ll wear it to every show. Make sure everyone knows who my man is.” “Damn right you’ll show them. If you start hanging around backstage I don’t want those idiots to think you’re free game. You’re mine.” “Yes I’m yours. Very happily yours.” I smile and kiss him again before he starts telling me all about his month on the road.

Obsessive (Compulsive)

I don’t let many people hug me.
I wash my hands with scalding water after a cashier hands me my change, after, of course, checking and rechecking the item’s expiration dates.
I have sexual feelings that I do not want.
And when my boyfriend doesn’t respond right away as he gets home and doesn’t let me know that he is safe inside, I get flashes in my mind of headlines and his address. ‘Man, young, murdered, shot, stabbed, hit, killed etcetera…dead.’ I see too many flashes to count.
And I’m so tired. It drains me. And it haunts me. What pains me is this is growing still.

Tears in my eyes, hoping I will see again, his New York window sill.
But not on the cover of a newspaper.
Not with the tiny dots of black ink that spell out “killed”.

I can hug him longer than anyone else.
And I don’t want to scrub myself with boiling water after it.
It makes me feel clean.

Talk to Me (Snowbaz)

Eight year AU

In which Simon is trying to come up with a new spell but he ends up speaking only German

This is for @mitsouparker because she deserves to smile :)


SIMON

I’m alone in the room. I think Baz is in the library. He always goes there after classes to do his homework. I prefer doing it in our room. Or not doing it at all.

We have to come up with a new spell for Magic Words class, so I try transfiguring a book into food. That would be a huge improvement to the World of Mages. At least for me.

I take out my wand and point at the book. Then, I say with magic, “Like a Bratwurst!

I wait for thirty seconds, but the book remains the same.

Scheiße,” I say, but I don’t understand myself. I wanted to say Shit.

Scheiße,” I try again. Fuck, I think I’ve spelled myself instead. “Fantastisch.”

I’d better go find Penny.

“Penny!” I shout when I find her at last, “Hilf mir!”

“Simon?”

“Penny, ich brauche deine hilfe, ich hab’s verbockt,” I continue.

“What in Morgana’s name are you saying, Simon?”

Right. She doesn’t speak German. Because I’m speaking German, no? Agh, I don’t even know.

I try to explain her the situation through mime and stupid drawings.

After half an hour of me making idiotic gestures—Baz would love to make fun of me right now if he were here—Penelope finally understands.

“So you can only speak German?” she asks.

Ja.”

“But you’ve never learnt it.”

Merlin, ich weiß, Penny!” I protest.

“Okay, calm down,” she says. “Let me think this through and see if I can come up with a reversing spell. Go to your room and don’t do anything. Just… rest. I’ll come later, okay?”

Okay.”

When I arrive to our room, Baz is in there, too. In the shower. Great. He’ll tease the hell out of me.

I lie down on my bed and decide not to think about it—about anything—when Baz steps out of the bathroom.

Merlin, du siehst klasse aus!” I say. Fuck, where did that come from?

Baz looks at me nonplussed, almost dropping the towel he’s holding. He’s only wearing pants. “What the fuck, Snow?”

Ich meine… uhm… deine Bauchmuskeln…” I don’t know what I’m saying, I just can’t stop looking at his abs. “Ich mag sie.”

He must notice me staring because he puts a shirt on and looks away.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asks.

Ich denke, ich mag dich… das ist das Problem.

Baz looks intensely at me for a moment. He hesitates for a second, as if deciding something, before walking the two steps that separate us and stopping right beside my bed.

I sit up. We are so close now.

Ich liebe dich,” he says. And what a beautiful sound that is.

I place a hand on his nape and pull him towards me. I just want to taste his words with my lips. So I kiss him. And he kisses me back. We kiss for a long while before the two of us are panting.

“So, you speak German? Since when?” I ask him.

“Yes, I learned it last summer,” he says, his fingers playing with my curls.

“So you understood everything?”

“Yeah, Snow, everything.” He looks at me with lustful eyes. Merlin, he’s made of trouble. He takes my hand and places it on his stomach. “I didn’t know you liked my abs, you should’ve told me before.”

“I… uhm… I didn’t know either.”

“Wait, Snow,” he looks surprised. “You’re speaking English again.”

“Oh,” I say. “That’s right. I guess a true love’s kiss broke the spell?”

“Don’t be stupid, Snow. This isn’t a fairtale.”

“It feels like one, right now,” I say, looking into his eyes.

“Oh, shut up,” he replies, trying to hide a smile.

“Make me.”

“Merlin and Morgana guys, hang a sign on the door!”

“Uhm, sorry, Penny.” I blush. This is so awkward.

“It’s okay, it actually makes a lot of sense. But please, don’t let me run into you two like this ever again.”

“Okay,” I smile sheepishly.

“I see  you broke the spell,” she adds after a while.

“Yeah… true love’s kiss?”

She bursts out laughing. “Fairy tales aren’t real, Simon,” she says. “I guess Baz spoke to you in German, right?”

I nod.

“I’ll leave you two alone, then. And remember, door sign,” she says before leaving the room.

“What was that?” I ask Baz after a while.

“What?”

“What you said… what does it mean?”

“Oh. Nothing.”

“Baz, what does it mean?”

He mumbles something I don’t understand.

“Just say it,” I tell him.

“I love you,” he says. And I kiss his lips before he finishes.

“I love how that tastes. Say it again.”

“I love…”

“I love you too,” I say, lips clashing against his.

Ich liebe dich.


-ENDE-

Translation of phrases:

Hilf mir! = Help me!

ich brauche deine hilfe, ich hab’s verbockt = I need your help, I’ve fucked up

ich weiß = I know

du siehst klasse aus! = you look good!

Ich meine… deine Bauchmuskeln… Ich mag sie = I mean… your abs… I like them

Ich denke, ich mag dich… das ist das Problem = I think I like you, that’s the problem

Ich liebe dich = I love you

Ari: Hey, I hope you liked this silly mini-ficlet or at least that it made you smile :)

Sorry for my crappy German D:

araglas1989  asked:

uui awesome! how about Hawke gets transformed into a child when a curse goes sideways and Fenris needs to babysit him, while Anders and Merril need to work out how to transform him back? When he is back himself he still remembers everything about his time as child by Fenris side. Extra points for hyperactive Hawke getting all quite and in awe when Fenris reads to him. (maybe friends to lovers?)

Source: I was often left in charge of my two younger siblings, and I used to babysit a lot as a teenager. Now I help my mother watch my niece (5) and nephew (2). What I’m saying is, in my experience with kids, when things go wrong, they really go wrong.

“Leopold Eugene Hawke, if you don’t stop climbing those shelves this instant, I swear I will spank you!”

Little Leo glanced over his shoulder, found Aveline in all of her red-faced threatening fury, and made a face. He began to climb again. “You can’t,” he stated, matter-of-fact, snotty. “You’re not my momma.”

“We’ll see about that!” she said, and stalked forward, made a grab for him. Little Leo screamed as if she had cut him with her sword.

“You’re hurting me!”

“I am not!”

“Let go! You’re hurting me!”

“Get down before you break your neck!”

Another ear-piercing scream. Varric pulled his hand slowly down his face. “Maker’s ass,” the dwarf said. He could feel a headache coming on. “Can we get some progress on that spell? This shit stopped being funny two hours ago.”

“Oh, right, we’ll get right on that.” Anders’s voice was thick with sarcasm. The ball of magic between him and Merrill wobbled dangerously, and Merrill made an irritated noise.

“You have to calm down or this will never work,” she said.

“Forgive me if I’m having a little trouble concentrating!” he bit out.

“I told you not to feed it so much sugar!”

Little Hawke screamed again.

The group of apostate blood mages they’d encountered had been holed up in the bowels of Darktown for far too long, and didn’t take kindly to being found. Their spell had been meant to un-make Hawke, aging him down rapidly to nothing – and had only been interrupted by the deaths of every desperate caster. Hawke froze around the age of four or five.

“You aren’t my momma!” Hawke screamed at Aveline. He threw a book, and when Aveline dodged it, it hit Isabela. “Where’s mama? Where’s da?”

“They’re all dead, you little brat!” Isabela snarled, and threw herself at the book case. She got a hand around his ankle, even as he kicked. “You get down here right now!”

Little Leo began to scream again.

It was amid this that Fenris entered the room. He had gone to report the fate of the apostates to the templars while the rest of them tried to smuggle Hawke home without being seen – Kirkwall, after all, couldn’t see their Champion reduced to such a state. Hawke had been much better behaved, then, before Anders fed him all those cookies.

Fenris paused in the threshold of Hawke’s library, taking it all in: Isabela, shaking the bookshelves as she screamed at Hawke. Aveline, screaming over Isabela. Anders, screaming at them all to shut up. Hawke, just screaming.

Varric, seated in an armchair, rubbed his temples. “Good luck,” he muttered, as the elf strode forward. Little Leo did not take too kindly to strangers.

Fenris urged Aveline to take three steps back. He pulled Isabela, bodily, from the bookshelf. Hawke fell silent when he levelled his glare on him. The young mage’s face was red and tear-streaked.

He climbed down meekly when Fenris extended his arms to him.

Starset : Vessels (2017)  Sentence Starters

Satellite

  • If you lead, I will follow
  • I will be your Apollo
  • I’ll feel your gravity
  • I’ll stay and never leave
  • I’m here tonight
  • Shine your light and set me free
  • Take the darkness out of me
  • Shine on me
  • You are my fate
  • Give me warning
  • I seek the stars above the world to be the guide
  • They are pale against the light in your eyes
  • Send your signal out and bring me back to you

Frequency 

  • Something blocking your reception 
  • It’s distorting our connection
  • Now the silence screams that you are gone
  • You’ve tuned me out
  • There’s something here that’s broken
  • There’s something here with no end
  • Cause I can feel your soul fade
  • I can feel your heart change
  • I bared my soul for you
  • My heart was bulletproof till you took off the jacket
  • I was doing this all for you
  • I tried to save you now I’m swallowed
  • You wanted war

Die For You

  • I will run alone tonight 
  • I know your eyes
  • I saw the truth inside the real you
  • I know you’re lost when you run away
  • When are you coming home?
  • There’s no pain that I won’t go through even if I have to die for you
  • The only hell I know is without you
  • Until I bring you home
  • I’ll bring you home

Ricochet 

  • We should have been afraid of heights
  • I was trying just to get you
  • I’m dying to forget you  
  • I fell behind
  • We were one in the same
  • You left me with a bittersweet taste
  • I’ve been dying just to see your face
  • All I wanted was to say “goodbye”
  • They don’t know my heart

Starlight

  • The void is calling 
  • Don’t fear
  • It’s ok I promise
  • I don’t know what to say
  • I’m going to want you till the stars evaporate
  • A thousand armies won’t stop me
  • Just tell me to stay
  • Your beauty conquers the darkness
  • I’ll fall in love with you again
  • Don’t leave me lost here forever
  • Bring me back to you

Into The Unknown

  • It’s calling me 
  • Are you out there waiting?
  • It takes more than eyes to see
  • Take the path less traveled
  • Is this real or in my mind?

Gravity of You

  • I feel it pulling me 
  • I feel the past that’s died there
  • I feel you pull me through 
  • It’s boring holes in me
  • I feel you here with me
  • I will risk it all to own it

Back To Earth

  • Set me free 
  • I succumb to the weight of the world
  • I fall from the sky

Last To Fall

  • The world is cold but it’s beautiful 
  • I wish you were here now
  • I miss your soul
  • You lost your light When the darkness called
  • My soul is burning
  • I’m still the same
  • And will you be bold
  • Will you lose control?
  • I could never let go

Bringing It Down

  • I saw the creature deep inside 
  • I’m falling apart
  • There’s something inside you that isn’t right
  • There’s something that haunts your dreams at night
  • You’re bringing it down
  • Silly me
  • I came so close this time
  • I still thought I could make it mine

Unbecoming

  • I lost myself into the night 
  • I clipped my wings and fell from flight
  • There’s no dreams in the lakes only monsters
  • And the monsters are my only friends
  • You always knew me
  • There’s no angel in you in the end
  • All that is left is the change
  • I think you made me this

Monster

  • You filled me up with hate 
  • You thought I’d forget
  • You’re the war that I wage
  • Can you change me?
  • This is the world you’ve created
  • Seems the monster always wins
  • Who knew the emptiness could be so cold?
  • I am the darkness
  • I’m a monster

Telepathic 

  • If I had my way I would run to the rescue
  • It never works that way
  • But I’m not giving up
  • I don’t wanna let you go but I can’t stand to watch this
  • You had me under spell right from the start
  • You’d know what I want before I tell you
  • You are the sun, I am the full moon
  • I can be what you want
  • I will wait in the dark for you
  • I’m in the dark ‘till you light the way

Everglow

  • You come in waves 
  • Then you fade away into nothing
  • You leave me froze in time
  • You’ll never know the beauty I see when you open your shadows
  • They’ll never know the worlds that I see in the darkness you don’t show 

Imagine being an alpha who was more powerful than Deucalion and helping Scott and Derek out when they meet the other alpha pack members

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by rollingmaloski

You were with Cora and Derek watching them talk when abruptly, you three heard a noise. That noise was the alert that there were others. You knew it was Deucalion and two of his members. You were standing back and watching the altercation betwixt Kali and Derek when she stuck the pole through him. You grimaced at the sight a bit and turned your attention to Deucalion.


“Well, well, well, To what do I owe the pleasure miss Y/N? Were you really thinking that you were going to help this alpha and his pack out? And yet you couldn’t even help out your own alpha, nor your own pack, and nor your own-”


“ENOUGH! I am here because he wanted, maybe even needed me here. Might leave later on. Might not. But you don’t have any right to talk about my past.” You say and cut him off.


“Wow. Not even going to face your own demons? That’s not the person I thought nor remember you to be dear Y/N.” he says while grinning maliciously.


You had heard enough. Derek was trying to tell you to not do anything stupid, but you were stronger than any of them thought. you rushed forward and knocked Kali to the ground. You began to pull the pipe out of Derek and had it out of him when you swung it at her, knocking her flat on her face and you put your foot on her neck and tossed the pipe away. Derek had collapsed onto the floor and was slowly starting to heal.


“Stay down bitch.” you say as you lean and put ore pressure on her neck as she began to writhe. You looked up to find him staring at you and he had begun to talk to Derek. You had drowned him out until he stood up. You glared at him and he motioned for you to move.


“Gotta say the magic words sweetie.” You say, while giving him a sickly sweet smile.


“Please get your foot off of her. Now.” He says, whilst looking annoyed.


“Fine. But let’s make sure you don’t pull this crap again, alright?” you ask.


“Alright.” Kali replies after receiving a look from Deucalion.


They left and you knew you should go and watch over Scott and Isaac.


Later on….


Originally posted by sterek-hale-obrosey


You saw Ethan and Aiden standing there across the hall from Scott and Isaac when they shifted and ran over and picked them both up. You had started to walk over there and growled, making your fangs show and your eyes were glowing a brilliant red. They turned to look a you and dropped them. You let out a small, but still kind of loud growling roar.


“You should watch who you go after, boys.” you murmur. “And know who else is around before you start attacking them.”


They had begun to shift back out of their combined form when you heard Deucalion coming up behind you.


“My dear, you would be a wonderful addition to my pack. I would be absolutely delighted to have you with us. After all, hardly anyone can get them to shift back. You’d be a valued pack member. Would you consider joining us? Even after the, previous altercation.” He asked, hoping you’d accept. But like every time before, you rejected him.


“No. Your ‘pack’ is pointless. It is ludicrous to even consider joining that I would have to be dead before I’d ever think about it. You know, same old, same old. And it will always be the same answer. No.” You reply.


“Damn. Alrighty. Good-bye. And, see you soon.” he says and walks off, with Ethan and Aiden following after him like the obedient little pups they are.
You snort at the sight and both Scott and Isaac jump up and demand to know who you are.


“I’m Y/N. That’s all you need to know right now. Now, go back and continue living your life as semi-normal teenagers. See ya both later. If you have any questions, go to Derek. Bye.” You say all of that swiftly and then walk off and wave behind you.


Hope you all like it. Sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes. Let me know what you think!! And you can send in any requests you want an there is a drabble list that I have shared and have been using.


Tagging: @malachai-winchester 

plzdontbeadicktoyourfans  asked:

uuh is there an actual reason for you to be an absolute dick to every ask you get? i mean what's the point of allowing people to ask stuff to you if you're just going to act like a complete douche? and yeah i'm probably going to be answered with a sarcastic response because apparently you can't spent 2 seconds without being an asswipe, fuck the hell off and stop

Let’s see…

I am a moody teenager who makes an Undertale AU comic called Unexpecterchanged in his spare time to entertain people.

The first problem is that no one can ever spell the name right. And I mean no one. That’s just one thing that gets me a bit cranky sometimes… I get it, Unexpecterchanged is a bit of a long name, but it’s all over the blog. Come on.

And imagine making a comic, and then most of the asks you get seem like the person who sent it hasn’t read anything of your comic. That will piss you off.

And sometimes there are people who try to argue with you about what’s canon in your own creation. “Is Chara Toriel?” someone asks. I respond, “No, Chara is Napstablook.” Their response, “Well I think Chara is Toriel because X.” No. Stop right there. I just said Chara isn’t Toriel. There’s no because. Quiet. It’s my AU, not yours.

When I get an ask that says something like, “Is Flowey Sans?” I just can’t help but be a douche in response. I make it as obvious as possible that Flowey is Sans and people still need to ask me. Come on, guys. “Asriel is Chara, right?” Aside from the fact that I’ve said Asriel replaces Chara directly several times, there’s also the green text and the context clues in Chara’s battle that hint towards it. 

Oh and don’t even get me started on “This works for X AU” comments, or Unex songs being reuploaded for other AUs, that just pisses me off with the amount of disrespect those show. Don’t ever do that. No one enjoys it.

Also, I am not a dick to every ask, contrary to what you think. I love fanart, and music, and speculation that has an actual basis. But because all of those are so rare, and asks that can be answered in two seconds from just reading the actual source material are so common, you get to see pissed off me more than actual me. I don’t like being a dick. I’ve had anger issues since I was a small child. I can’t help but get pissed off when people ask me things that I spelled out for them several times. Just read the comic. I already had to disable anon asks because they were even worse.

Edit:

Oh yeah I forgot one thing: Spoiler asks. People who ask me things about things in the story that are obviously spoilers. I’m not obligated to tell you, I don’t need to tell you. Wait for the comic to cover it. I tell people not to do this, and they still do it. “Who’s mettaton?” “Does Flowey have a photoshop form?” “What does Hyperdeath Sans look like?” “Who’s the genocide fight?” I’m not telling you. Be patient. Thanks.

It just feels that sometimes, no one actually cares about your AU. It feels like no one actually reads it. But you still get people asking you things, like they’re pretending to care. You get people trying to shove your AU’s content onto other AUs because yours isn’t good enough. You get people insulting your work for no reason. And you can’t help but be mad.

It’s been a long time coming, and it’s about time someone called me out on my shit. I’m trying to be a dick less, but it’s hard when it feels like no one actually cares. But that’s probably just me. Whatever. I don’t know anymore.

I apologize for my rudeness, and I apologize for the long wait for the next part of Unex. I’ve been having very big issues on the storyline and it’s been a huge roadblock for me. I’m just at a loss for what to do.

-Pat

Originally posted by sweetly87

Requested by anon <3
Prompt:  could you do a newt x reader that is full of fluff, but the reader is quite rebellious and adventurous and raises dragons? Like Newt could be looking for one back in London and he runs into her

MASTERLIST. KO-FI.

Enthusiastic knocking on your door made you sigh heavily and throw away the dirty rag you were cleaning with. Stumbling to the door you peaked through the oculus – an unfamiliar man with a wandering gaze and fiery hair stood by your doorstep, idling with his fingers as a distraction before he knocked again, only this time a bit harder. In one swift moved you yanked the door open, surprising him and leaving his hand floating midair. The young man gulped, offering an awkward smile as he directed his gaze somewhere behind you. You waited for him to speak and seeing as he was catching his breath and arranging his words you broke the silence first, “Can I…help you?”

“Yes, yes you can, actually.” He replied bluntly. The corners of his mouth creased and he smiled, “I was-“ he cut himself off when you caught his gaze – in an instant he looked away, “I was wondering where you got the Common Welsh and if you have any more.” You froze, your grip on the handle tightening. With his head he motioned to his suitcase, “I have—“

“I-I have no idea what you’re talking about—“ You blurred, pulling the door close, “Good day.” You mumbled, almost shutting the door in his face but he managed to sneak his foot in and stop you. You frowned, “I said good day.” You repeated, irritated.

“Pardon, perhaps I was too…forward.” He said, “If you’re not selling then may I suggest fixing your cloaking spell?” You blinked, “It seems to be malfunctioning—“ at the mention of magic you quickly stepped onto your porch and shut the door behind you. The man took a big step back, the tips of his ears turning red as he tried to avoid your hard gaze. You crossed your arms over your chest.

“You’re a wizard?” You asked, despite already knowing the answer. He nodded.

“Newt Scamander.”

“(Name) (Lastname).”

“Where did you get the dragon?”

“Look, does it matter?” You asked, tiredly, “I just-I-Well, sheep started disappearing and I figured—you know it’s harmless! Really! I was planning to send it back to freedom, honest! Just, you know” you leaned in, biting down a smile, “he’s so cute. A marvelous creature—but I will bring it back! I will! You have my word, sir, oh—oh are you from the Ministry? Oh…Oh Merlin, you aren’t from the Ministry are you? He’s still a teenager, that’s why so many sheep have–…you know! Teenager! You remember being a teenager right?! With the emotions…and the emotions-look, it doesn’t matter where I got it from, right? Please don’t arrest me.”

Newt stared at you exasperated, finding it both amusing and worrying how fast you were talking. Once you finished you stared at him with doe eyes and he gulped. Idly, he fixed his bowtie, “I-I’m not from the ministry. And I’m not going to arrest you just—you really must fix that cloaking spell, Miss (Name).” As if only now realizing it, you snapped.

“Oh-Oh Merlin’s Beard! Can my neighbors SEE MY DRAGON FROM THEIR WINDOWS?!”

//

You let him in and offered him some tea as he kindly helped you fix that pesky spell and hide away the sleeping dragon that made your windows rattle from its snoring and heavy breathing. You sat down next to him, grinning from ear to ear as you shoved an album into his lap and made him look through it. Pointing a finger at the black and white picture of you and a Hungarian Horntail, you started, “That’s me after Hogwarts, on my first trip abroad. Ran into a bloke carrying dragon eggs. He was going to sell them to some gangster so I swooped in and saved the day. Leia is three months old here.”

“You stole the eggs?” Newt raised a brow, genuinely curious and even impressed. You nodded proudly.

“Sadly, could only snatch one.” You told, turning a page, “It was my first dragon….And I still have burns. Not even magic could heal those. Loved her to death, though.”

“Loved?”

“I had to let her go.” You admitted with a solemn tone, “She’s a dragon. She needs space and freedom…Before long I’ll have to let Billy go as well.” As if on cue, Newt glanced at the rattling window that gave in and cracked, then turning to you with a visible question, “Yes, that’s Billy. Such a sweetheart. Only eats when I’m not looking. And cleans up too!”

“…You’re an expert on dragons, aren’t you?” It was more than a statement, rather than a question, and you couldn’t help but grin, “How long have you been doing this?”

“…A while.” You took a sip of your tea, cursing quietly when it burned your tongue, “I whas-was training them before releasing into the wild…” you put the cup down on the saucer and set it on the table, “Which remind me…” You looked at him with a mischievous glint in your eyes, “Newt Scamander.” The man blinked nervously, “Have you ever rode a dragon before?”

“Have you?” He shot back. You giggled.

“I take that as a ‘no’… Would you like to?”

“…yes.”

“You’re cloaking Billy. I’ll go get the saddle.”

Requests are opened!

anonymous asked:

Mama Bree, do you know of any spells for growing to be or being perceived as beautiful? Or even for looking a specific way? I just really wanna be pretty. >.<

Sweetheart, let me just tell you one thing right here and now.

You are already GORGEOUS, inside and out. If other people have trouble seeing it, that’s their problem, not yours, okay?

Since we’re coming into spring, there is a glamour spell you can do to correct that.

Gather the blossoms of the magnolia tree. These huge white and pink-tinged blossoms are generally easy to find, even in some suburban areas. If you live in an area where orange or myrtle trees are common, these blossoms may be collected also. Lay the blossoms out to dry until they are completely stiff and crunchy; a shallow cardboard box or tray works very well for this.

Put the petals into a cloth bag. Hang the bag over the first mirror you see each morning. Generally, this is going to be something in your bedroom or bathroom. Every day when you wake up, take a moment to touch the bag, look into the mirror, and smile at yourself.

While you’re going through your morning routine before the mirror (brushing your teeth, shaving, applying makeup, etc.), choose one thing to love about yourself that day, no matter how small it is. Add new things to love every day until you realize that you are, in fact, gorgeous from head to toe, inside and out.

“Circe’s Power” – Louise Glück

I never turned anyone into a pig.
Some people are pigs; I make them
Look like pigs.

I’m sick of your world
That lets the outside disguise the inside. Your men weren’t bad men;
Undisciplined life
Did that to them. As pigs,

Under the care of
Me and my ladies, they
Sweetened right up.

Then I reversed the spell, showing you my goodness
As well as my power. I saw

We could be happy here,
As men and women are
When their needs are simple. In the same breath,

I foresaw your departure,
Your men with my help braving
The crying and pounding sea. You think

A few tears upset me? My friend,
Every sorceress is
A pragmatist at heart; nobody sees essence who can’t
Face limitation. If I wanted only to hold you

I could hold you prisoner. 

A Rainy Day in Dor-lómin

“-six, seven, eight, and I’m building a fortress in Himlad.”

“You can’t. You could only build a fortress if you owned all of the Marches, and I hold Estolad.”

“This game is stupid. When the weather clears I’m going to build a fortress there for real and there won’t be a damn thing you can do to stop me.”


“Right hand green.”

“Er.”


“Where’s the Doriathrim army?”

“They were the…yellow pieces, yes? I only see two. I think Huan might have eaten the rest.”

“Oh well! We can play without them.”


Hmph.”

“I don’t care how much you sulk, I’m not letting you spell ‘sewing’ like that. I don’t know where you even got a ‘Þ’ tile.”


“Túrin Turambar in Taur-nu-Fuin with Anglachel.”

“But was it Túrin that killed him or was it Morgoth’s curse acting through-”

“Just open the damn envelope.”

Making Chicken Shawarma

“GIIIIIRL, this vegan ice cream is great and I hate to bother but it’s been like a year since i asked LOL, but WHERE MY SHAWARMA *snaps fingers*????”

— lovetomasticate Can we just take a moment? Because I don’t think I’ve ever had someone rub their thumb against the middle finger so hard it makes a sound, at me. There just simply was a lack of ghettoliciousness where I went to school. So before I break out into the cup song by way of reply, let me say that YES, I’m sorry it took so long to write a shawarma post because you see, it’s very difficult to get shawarma (I downright refuse to spell it out as "shwarma") right in home kitchens.

When done right, a chicken shawarma consists of succulent, tangy chicken pieces shaved off a mothership stack of flattened chicken breasts that’s been marinated overnight in a carefully concocted mixture of tenderizing yogurt and spices, which is then roasted in a vertical spit that turns against a soft grilling fire. This fire is so, so soft that it merely kisses the meat. KISSES it. For HOURS. When done right, you’ll find pieces of grilled tomatoes that’s been cooked on the wide skillet that lies under the twirling mothership stack, Catching and tumbling in the rendered juices and fat. When done right, there is always a squirt of creamy toum; a pungent garlicky sauce that some might mistake as garlic mayonnaise. Never make that mistake. Like, ever. When done right, there’s pieces of Lebanese pickles punctuating every bite; not too overpowering, but enough kick to show its presence. This is all completely wrapped (i.e. none of that incompletely-wrapped-because-there’s-too-much-filling or stuffed inside a split pita nonsense) inside the day’s pillowy khubz for easy handling, which as you can see I completely ignored because an all-wrapped up shawarma unfortunately isn’t very photogenic. Apologies. It’s all in the name of aesthetics, so make sure you wrap yours all snug and tight. PS: To other foodwishers: You know the deal guys! Foodwishes here have no expiration date so I’ll get to them eventually. And for the anon who made a foodwish for Salbutes (new food!yay!), I’ll make ‘em once I locate a bag of masa harina. Peace out!LEBANESE GARLIC SAUCE/DIP (serves 4-6) [ 4-5 cloves of garlic, peeled + ¼ cup vegetable oil + juice of ½ a lemon + a generous pinch of salt, about ¼ teaspoon ]

Make sure that all the ingredients are at room temperature. Using a food processor or a pestle and mortar, mash the garlic and salt until it turns to a paste. Stop the processor and scrape garlic down the sides before running again, and repeat this process.

Keep the processor running before adding the vegetable oil, a teaspoon at a time until the mixture has emulsified. Add the lemon juice last and give it a final 20-second whiz before storing until needed. You can make this up to a week ahead and refrigerate it. Just make sure to bring it to room temperature before serving.

LEBANESE QUICK PICKLES:2 garlic cloves, peeled + 1 cup vinegar + 1/2 cup water + 1/2 cup sugar + 1 tablespoons kosher salt + ½ tablespoon each of peppercorns, mustard seed, celery seed and coriander seed + vegetables like carrots, cucumbers, green beans, peppers and hot peppers, washed and trimmed ] In a small sauce pan, bring the vinegar, water, sugar, salt and spices to boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 10 minutes. Remove from heat; cool.

Cut the vegetables into bite size pieces. Pack a jar (or two) tightly with vegetables and garlic cloves. Ladle the vinegar solution into the jars to cover the vegetables. Screw the lids on and refrigerate for a whole day before serving. This can also be made a week ahead.

SHAWARMA CHICKEN (serves 4-6)

[ 4 boneless, skinless chicken breast + ¼ cup lemon juice + 1 tablespoon tomato puree + 2 tablespoons plain yogurt + 1 ½ tablespoon vinegar + 6 cloves of garlic, minced + ½ tablespoon cumin seeds + ½ tablespoon coriander seed + ½ tablespoon ground turmeric + ½ tablespoon black pepper + ½ teaspoon cayenne pepper + 1 teaspoon garlic powder + ½ teaspoon onion powder + 1 teaspoon salt + ½ teaspoon sugar or honey + ½ teaspoon dried thyme + 1 teaspoon paprika  + 1 tablespoon olive oil ] ADDITIONAL ingredient: 1 or 2 medium sized tomatoes, for serving.

Cut each chicken breast horizontally so that each piece is about ½ an inch thick. If you have small breasts (cue the giggles), give it a good whack with a rolling pin so they’re all the same thickness. Mix all the marinating ingredients in a blender. Transfer the chicken pieces into a shallow container and coat well with the marinade. Cover and marinate in the fridge overnight.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

Place a griddle pan or a skillet on high heat until very hot. Cook the chicken pieces for 2 minutes on each side until brown. Transfer chicken to an oven tray and finish off in the oven for 4–6 minutes, or until cooked through and no pink meat remains. Remove and allow to rest for a few minutes before cutting the chicken into 1cm-thick slices. Drizzle one or two tablespoons of remaining juices from the tray over the meat. Keep warm

Then, ideally, you should cut the tomatoes to “a little bigger than bite-sized” pieces, toss it with the remaining juices in the tray and blast on the broiler until the tomatoes are just roasted. 

To assemble, grab a pillowy pita and form a line of chicken pieces. Spread a thin layer of garlicky toum, line up some grilled tomatoes and pickled vegetables. You can add some shredded lettuce and sliced red onion if you please, but nothing more! Roll a good, tight one and eat. Immediately.

Enjoy!

012 Emerald

Notes: Here’s to 2299 words of the missus and Harry’s engagement. All of the series can be found in chronological order using the link in the sidebar. Enjoy x


“Have you got everything?” You asked Harry as you threw your bags in to the back of his car.

“I think so. Lemme check upstairs once more,” he called as you took your place in the front seat, hanging one foot out of the door while texting Louis a happy birthday.

It was 7am on Christmas Eve and after spending your Christmas together at your parents’ house last year, it was time for you to spend this Christmas with Harry’s family up in Cheshire. As it was Louis’ birthday, he was hosting a late lunch to which you’d all been invited before you’d head with Harry and Gemma to their dad’s house for dinner and return to Anne and Robin’s for drinks and bed.

Keep reading

AWWWWW COME HERE SWEETHEART! LEMME HUG THE SAD RIGHT OUT YOU!!!!!

And if my hug isn’t doing anything for you, HAVE THIS LIST OF FLUFF!

“My daddy can beat up your daddy…why are our daddies kissing?” by bleep0bleep

809  I  Kid Fic, Humor

General Audiences

Derek and Stiles are both single parents, and their rival children attempt to make them fight.

Excuse Me While I Spell My Name by TheAlderKing

1,351  I  Stilinski Family Feels, Future Fic

“You’ve got white-out on your diploma. You actually defaced your diploma to keep people from seeing your name?”

“Mmm, couldn’t let the secret out after so many years of keeping it.”

How Stiles got his names.

Misunderstainding by hazelNuts

1,528  I  Misunderstandings

Teen and Up

anonymous asked, “‘i’m in my underpants in a laundromat waiting for my clothes to get washed and your clothes are in the machine next to mine and i noticed that when you put your clothes in they were all covered in blood what the fuck’ au”

Stiles’ evening had been going pretty well. And when a hot guy walks into the laundromat, he thinks it might become great. Until the guy takes off his coat and Stiles sees the state of his clothes.

Crazy Scary Beautiful by Elpie (Horribibble)

1,644  I  Artist Stiles, Misunderstandings

Teen and Up

The guy just came in with a duffle bag full of knives and plopped them down on the counter, easy as you please. He’s standing there with a perfectly cheerful look on his face, bouncing a little on the balls of his feet.

-

In which Stiles Stilinski is probably a serial killer, but Derek falls in love anyway.

Fight Me, Helen by thedevilyousay

1,654  I  Kid Fic, Domestic Fluff

Teen and Up

Important OTP question: Which one aggressively argues with the suburban soccer moms at the PTA meeting and flips Helen’s 9x12 pan of betty crocker brownies?

The Proposal(s) by theroguesgambit

1,677  I  Misunderstandings, Wedding Proposal

Teen and Up

At the honeymoon resort, someone makes the mistake of asking for the proposal story. It’s meant innocently enough, the type of thing most couples are more than happy to gush about.

Stiles snorts into his glass and Derek’s eyes narrow. He makes a pointed noise that’s probably meant as warning, but Stiles just puts down the glass and leans across the table, smirking.

“Which one would you like? We’ve got two hundred and fourteen of them.”

Eyebrows and the Scientific Method by DiscontentedWinter

1,762  I  Derek’s Eyebrows 

Teen and Up

A series of vignettes (and helpful lists and terrible illustrations) about Derek’s eyebrows, and Stiles’s attempts to communicate with them.

Welcome to Rosie’s Diner can I interest you in an eye-opener? by crossroadswrite

1,999  I  Future Fic, Oblivious Idiots in Love

Teen and Up

When the unfairly attractive couple walks in, at their usual hour, Kat starts humming the wedding march.

Jason elbows her sharply in the ribs, trying to hide his snicker even as he waves nicely at them.

“Fuck they’re so pretty,” he sighs mournfully, “why did they have to be a couple, that’s just unfair.”

“I know,” she commiserates.

(Or: The one where Stiles and Derek are regulars at Rosie’s diner and exactly zero of the employees believe they’re not actually a couple, I mean come on look at them.)

We Could Be Happy by alphagottadonk

2,676  I  Scenting, Pack Dynamics

Not Rated

Prompt: Derek starts scenting Stiles who thinks its a pack thing until he sees Scott doing it to Kira.

Snuggle Puppy by medrengirl

2,715  I  Full Shift Werewolves

Teen and Up

Derek likes the soothing voices of NPR. He listens to a story about the 1920s, when “snuggle puppies” engaged in “petting parties.” The reporter on the radio says that these parties allowed teens and college students to engage in “erotic exploration” without devolving into orgies.

Stiles, on the other hand, thinks “snuggle puppy” is a stuffed animal line for pets with separation anxiety, or maybe the title of a kids’ book, and he thinks “petting party” is a great way to describe what happens when Derek comes over to hang out in his full wolf shift.

It takes a bit of time for them to get on the same page.

Scream Like You Mean It by queenravenr

2,839  I  AU-Human, AU-College

Not Rated

prompt- Heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider. college au.

Baseball Pants by Thelionesskim

2,847  I  AU-Baseball

General Audiences

Scott shows Stiles a picture of the new pitcher for the Dodgers, and Stiles is suddenly an avid Dodgers fan.

Concerning Escaped Cats by Sams_Soliloquy

3,444  I  FBI Agent Derek, Star Trek Nerd Stiles

General Audiences

“It’s no surprise really that things hadn’t gone as planned when Stiles tried to shave his cat, Spock.”
A one shot AU involving, Trekkie Stiles, FBI Agent Derek Hale, and a half-shaved cat named Spock.

Chase your own by kellifer_fic

3,648  I  Derek has a Motherfucking Tail

General Audiences

Derek is cursed into having a feels!tail because Deaton and Scott live to mess with him. That’s what he assumes anyway.

Bee Yourself by Hatteress

3,780  I  Werebees, Established Relationship, Crack

Mature

Derek turns the full on Alpha glare on him. The one that says, in no uncertain terms, that the current situation is the furthermost thing from amusing on any planet in any galaxy ever. It’s sorta ruined by the antennae though. And the wings.

OR

The one where Stiles pisses off a bee goddess and Derek’s come tastes like honey.

Falling in Love at a Texas Roadhouse by PriPri

3,875  I  Kid Fic, Dad Derek, Server Stiles

General Audiences

Wherein Derek’s 6-year-old son pimps him out to their server Stiles.

Listen to the Beat by amazingpages

5,561  I  Masturbation, Neighbors

Mature

Of all the things Derek thought he’d have to deal with upon moving into his new apartment, a loudly masturbating neighbor wasn’t one of them.

Six Letter Word for Romance by TroubleIWant

6,322  I  Domestic Fluff (these two assholes are too fucking cute)

Mature

In which Stiles ships Derek/nice things almost as hard as I do

Or

Stiles definitely starts off thinking it’s fucking hilarious that Derek-sourwolf-Hale does crosswords and cares about scuffs on his furniture.

But at a certain point, and he can’t pinpoint exactly when, “fully functional adult couple” somehow becomes a massive fetish of his. Derek in sweats and bare feet, nudging his glasses up his nose while he does the Sunday crossword? Unff. Derek filling out forms to get some renovations on his property approved? Oh God, yes. Derek putting away groceries and bitching that the corner store was out of the right type of Greek yogurt? Take me now, Stiles thinks, worrying at his lower lip with his teeth.

This can’t be normal.

Here Comes Your Man by HaleHole (SweetFanfics)

6,821  I  3/3  I  AU-High School, Pining, Love Confessions

Teen and Up

“Batman? Really?” The familiar voice makes Derek pause, fingers pressing into the spine of his Physics book. He glances over to his left to look at the face that goes with the voice.

Stiles Stilinski is standing next to his locker and talking to him. Better check that actually.

Derek looks behind his open locker, making sure that there’s no one there or standing behind him before he turns back towards the jock. Who is more than amused at Derek’s antics. “I had you pegged for a Marvel fan.” The lacrosse star continues. “But that’s Dick’s run as Batman so maybe you’re just into Nightwing more than Batman.”

all human AU where Stiles and Derek go to BHHS and Kate who?

To Flush With Love and Hide in Flowers by demonicweirdo

7,067  I  AU-Greek Mythology, God Stiles

Teen and Up

“Uh, are you okay?” Derek asked him, his voice soft and calm and just what Stiles needed to hear this whole time.
Stiles groaned, rubbing his head. “No. There are limits to what gods can do. One of them is that using your powers for ten days straight drains you. Completely.” He was never talking to Lydia again. 

I’m Grumpy, He’s Derpy by Fanhag102

7,264  I  Cat Stiles, Cursed Stiles

Teen and Up

The cat jumps up onto the back of the couch and is carefully making it’s way towards Derek only to lose it’s footing halfway across and tumble with an undignified yowl back to the floor.

Oh god, Derek thinks. It’s one of those cats.

How Weetabix Got His Marshmallows Back by calrissian18

10,095  I  AU-Office, AU-Human

Explicit

“You know, in the movie version of this, I won’t have said ‘venereal disease’ and you would be reluctantly charmed.“

Putting the F-U-N in Funeral by apocryphal

10,811  I  AU-Human, Bakery, Snark

Teen and Up

"Hale & Daughters Funeral Home,” Derek says dully.

“Oh ho! And which daughter are you?

Derek casts his eyes up to the ceiling. It’s going to be one of those calls.

(In which Derek is a bored secretary, Stiles is a baker who may or may not have ulterior motives, and there are entirely too many macaroons.)

Snow Flirting by thepsychicclam

11,396  I  Kid Fic, Snowball Fight

Mature

As Beacon Hills get pounded with foot after foot of snow, single dad Stiles can’t quite keep up with his four year old, his job, and shoveling his driveway. Derek makes his teenage son shovel Stiles’ walk, and that just leads to Derek helping Stiles out with a whole bunch of other tasks. That’s okay with Derek, though, cause any chance to be with Stiles is okay with him.

Hot Mess by standinginanicedress

20,458  I  Human Derek, Car Sex

Explicit

“I really -” Stiles rips his hand free of Derek’s and clears his throat, taking stock of all the other things that were in his basket, how strewn all over the floor of the grocery store they are. “…I’m a normal, functioning human being, I swear I am.”

“Right,” Derek says, and his mouth starts quirking up even more. Like he’s amused, and like he absolutely positively does not believe for a second that Stiles is normal.

or the one where Stiles is a literal human disaster that ruins everything, and Derek finds it incredibly attractive.

And if you still need some cute as fuck motherfuckers in your life, I would totally suggest reading the webcomic Check Please and then turning into shipper trash (like me and Angsty) and reading THE FANFICTION FOR IT.

I hope you feel better!!!

Love and internet hugs,

Fluffy Wolf

anonymous asked:

Can you do a pairing, Scorpio x MC ( no name ) number 38 please?

The Pickup
Rating: G
MC x Scorpio (SCM)
Including: Teorus, Ichthys, Hiyori
Drabble Prompt #38: “You fainted… Straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”
Send Me a Pairing and a Number

I’d been working double shifts one and off for the last couple of weeks at the planetarium so I hadn’t been able to see Scorpio or the others. Hiyori was concerned I was coming down with something, but I told her it was just these long shifts and I’ll rest well once I didn’t have to work so much. We all had to take on more shifts due to some cutbacks. We did get extra pay, but it was starting to take it’s toll.

Today was manageable. Three tour groups and a few info sessions and then front counter duty. I was leaning on the counter, resting my head on my hand when someone came up to the counter.

“Hey.” That gruff voice belonged to Scorpio. No matter how many times I saw him in street clothes, it took my breathe away.

“H-hey! What are you doing here?” I was so shocked, I almost fell off the counter.

“You haven’t been to the mansion lately and…” Scorpio pointed his thumb behind him to show that he was not alone. “The Dynamic Duo wanted to see you, too.” Teorus and Ichthys waved in the distance as girls passed them by and tried to talk to them. “Apparently, I’m not the only one concerned. The others would have come, too, but they had work so these guys were my tag alongs.” Scorpio sighed and rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms in annoyance.

“You guys didn’t have to come” I said as I came around the counter.

“But, you haven’t paid us a visit in a while,” Teorus pouted.

“Yeah, we miss you, Goldie.” Ichthys grinned at me and I couldn’t help but feel relieved and giggle a little seeing these two stand in front of me like school boys.

“Hey, no giggling unless it’s for me.” Scorpio said as he stood in front of me. Teorus and Ichthys covered their mouths in mock gasps and that just made Scorpio growl at them.

“Come on now,” I said as I turned to go back to my station. “I have a half hour left to my shift and then I can go home and,…” The room suddenly spun and I felt myself falling. I close my eyes and braced for impact, only to land against a broad chest.

“Seriously, should I just lock you away for a week so you can not be so hard on yourself?” Scorpio held me close to him.

“You practically fainted into his arms!” Teorus stood by us with concern.

“Yeah, it was like watching Prince Charming catch his princess,” Ichthys said in awe.

“Hey, are you okay?” Hiyori came running up to us and looked like she ran into a wall. “Oh! You’re her boyfriend, right? Good, take her home. She’s been working overtime too long and I think she’s really sick.” My coworker and friend frowned as showed her concern.

“Really, I’m-” I try to stand and fall right back into his arms as another dizzy spell hits me. I raise a hand in defeat.

“Don’t worry,” Hioyri said. “I’ll let our supervisor know you’re super sick and see how much time you can take off. Just go home and rest, okay?”

“Yay! We’re going to take the princess home!” Teorus and Ichthys were too happy for this moment.

“I’m taking her home!” Scorpio bellowed as he took my things from Hiyori and helped me out of work. “You two knuckle heads head back. I’ll be there when I can.”

“But, don’t you-” I tried to protest but the words were lost to me.

“Listen, woman. Your friend just told me you at least have tomorrow off. So you are sleeping in and them I will get you whatever you need so you can rest, got it? If you have more time of, I’ll take care of you then, too.” When Scorpio got this way, there was no arguing with him. I simply nodded and allowed him to get me home. I was leaving my care in the hands of a god and I couldn’t be happier.