The blinding light that had surrounded Cas moments ago slowly dimmed down to a level that wouldn’t burn their damn eyes out, before disappearing as quickly as it had appeared, leaving a confused, but blessedly healed, Angel of the Lord sitting on the ratty ass couch. Cas turned to Dean, looking as shocked as he had felt, before turning to stare at something behind the hunter. That something turned out to be Crowley, as he was holding the Lance, or the top part of it anyway, running his fingers over the now relatively harmless spear head. Apparently he had broken the Lance while they had their backs turned when Cas started spazzing out, black goo that looked eerily similar to the crap that came out of him during the Leviathan fiasco, effectively breaking whatever spell that was killing Cas and allowed him to finally be able to heal himself.
They all turned to him, bewildered, but Crowley just looked at us, a look of indifference on his face. “You’re welcome” was all the King of Hell said before he dropped the spear head and left, ever the drama queen. He looked around and saw that mom and Sam looked just as confused and relieved as he did, though Sam was looking rather proud and mom looked like she was wondering how in the hell (no pun intended) a demon could do something so selfless, so human, and so out of character like saving an angel’s life.
But none of that mattered, not when Cas was safe, healed, alive. Sure his clothes were still bloody, they’ll get him some clean ones as soon as they get to the bunker and burn the bloodied ones because he did NOT want to see the evidence of Cas’ closest and almost final brush with death for a second longer than necessary, and still weak from the amount of grace that had to have been used to heal himself, but he was alive. That didn’t stop the worry and fear that had taken hold of Dean when Crowley said that there was no cure for this one, Billie’s warning of ‘consequences of the cosmic scale’ still ringing in his ears and hammering about in his skull as he and Sammy reach out to haul Cas up to his feet. And if he held on a little longer to Cas’ hand and squeezed a little tighter than necessary, then who could blame him? He almost lost his best friend, he had a right to indulge in his need to be clingy, even if it was for like a second.
But that fear and worry had abated, for just a moment, when Cas turned to him, blue eyes slightly widened in shock, but with an underlying sense of apprehension. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights and for a moment Dean couldn’t understand why, before what would have been his last words to them came crashing through like a frieght train
“I love you… I love all of you”
Cas might have tried to save himself by attempting to clarify that his love was equal for us all, but even Dean, the most emotionally constipated human ever, could tell that that first ‘I love you’ was directed at him. Cas loved him.
Cas loved him?
Why would he love him? Why would he, an Angel of the freakin LORD love him, a hairless ape that has caused him nothing but grief since the moment they met. The mud monkey that had gotten him killed Chuck knew how many times, had cost him his family upstairs, his wings, his grace, everything? It just didn’t make any sense. Cas should love someone who could take care of him, and he wasn’t exactly boyfriend material, people didn’t look at guys like him and think ‘that’s them, that’s the person i want to spend the rest of my life with. That’s the one.’ He never had had a good track record with long term relationships, Lisa had been his longest and even then it was rocky and wasn’t long before it all went to hell in a hand basket. He didn’t think he could be the kind of boyfriend Cas deserved, the kind he wanted to be for him, but if tonight, of all the other times they had lost or almost lost each other, had finally taught him anything, it was that life was too short for doubts and hesitation and you never knew when your time would come (for good). He was done burying his feelings.
He turned to Sammy, giving him a look that he hoped his brother understood, before addressing him and mom, “You two go on ahead in mom’s car, me and Cas will take Baby after we clean up here, don’t want the LEO’s to find the Lance, depowered or not.”
Thankfully his giant moose of a brother understood, grabbing ahold of mom while heading to the door, giving her a toned down Bitch Face #14 when she went to protest and pull away, “Sure man, you guys be careful though. I’ll get something for all of us to eat on the way to the bunker. And Cas, I’m glad you’re ok man.” Was all he said before he dragged mom out of there and to the car, not before discreetly throwing a eyebrow wiggle his older brothers way, the bitch.
Dean breathed out a sigh of relief as the door closed, he waited till he heard mom’s car start and leave before turning to look at the angel beside him. Cas looked confused, if a bit pleased. It was then that Dean realised that his hand had migrated to the angels back during his epiphany earlier, but he couldn’t bring himself to care all that much. It felt nice, the warmth of Cas’ back seeping into his hand, the surprising softness of that damn trench coat he always insisted on wearing. He was closer than Dean remember him being a few moment ago, staring at him with wonder, with no little bit of hope just shining through those beautiful blue eyes of his.
“Dean?” He asked, as if he was afraid that this was all a dream. And quite honestly Dean was having a hard time not thinking like that too.
Dean smiled slightly, eyes raking over his entire form, making sure that he was completely healed, reassuring himself that he was really alright, before moving his other hand to cup his angels cheek. Cas turned slightly into the touch, a soft smile blooming across his face.
It was then that Dean’s eyes started to burn slightly, the full gravity of what almost happened tonight, what he almost lost, finally register with him. He pulled Cas towards himself till he was flush against his body, holding him tightly. Cas looked at Dean, worried and but happy, before he brought his arms up, his left going around his waist and his right buried in the hair on the back of his head. Dean cleared his throat before looking him in the eye, thumb brushing away the stray tear that had escaped the angel’s eyes.
“Cas… I love you too.” Was all he got out as the rest of what he was going to say got stuck in his throat, but that didn’t matter, because Cas knew, he understood all that he was trying to convey, if the blinding, watery smile was anything to go by. And beside, words were no longer need, not as he finally pulled him even closer, closing the rest of the distance between them, pressing his lips to the angel’s surprisingly soft ones in a gentle, chaste kiss. It was the first of many, if he had anything to say about it, because now there was no way he was going to ever let this go, ever let Cas go.
The first thing Yuuri registered when he woke up was the soft pitter-patter of rain outside.
He smiled. Rain meant he could stay in bed just a little longer, since Victor liked to drag him out for a morning run. He liked running, but he also liked the feeling of just waking up, when your bed’s still warm and it’s the most comfortable place on Earth.
Yuuri pulled the sheets up to his neck and burrowed into his bed. He felt so nice, so warm and boneless. He could almost fall asleep again…
An ice cold hand traced over his side.
Yuuri shrieked and tried to wiggle away from the intrusion. An arm wrapped around his middle and pulled him back against a hard chest.
Yuuri turned over and saw a slightly blurred Victor. He smiled down at Yuuri and bent forward to kiss his forehead. Yuuri smiled and pushed his face into Victor’s neck. The hickey he left there last night stood out on his pale skin.
Words: 14k Genre: Slice of Life–mentions of depression, suicide, mental illness (warnings: profanity because yoongi) Pairing: Yoongi | Reader Notes: It’s been a while since I’ve written anything, and I wanted to make it worthwhile if I did. It’s an accumulation of many feelings I’ve had, many of the things I’ve experienced but still haven’t fixed. But I guess that’s just life. Please give me feedback or comments! I dedicate this to @itsrainingmin for being a phenomenal writer, and also rooting me on throughout this whole thing! Thank you for being you, always. **gif found through weheartit with no name. Let me know so i can credit.
People tried to convince you that you were good.
Good at speaking. Good at writing. Good at art. Good at socializing. Good at
caring. Good at smiling. You weren’t quite sure how to feel about those words.
They often floated in your murky cloud of thoughts as if to give you some kind
of consolation. That you may possibly amount to something in your life. Yet, on
long midnight walks where there was only the scent of vulnerability and the
chill of air, did you really feel it all meant nothing. Words were words.
Unless you really felt them did they really mean anything.
Warnings: ANGST. Depression, Violence, Smut, Mutant Reader
(ALWAYS) powers include immortality, healing and telekinesis. Currently can’t
think of anything else.
Summary: 5 years after the events of CACW, you are the live-in
therapist for the newly reconciled Avengers, Steve’s Fiancé. The first words
your soulmate speaks appears on your body, but only after your first
conversation has taken place, making it impossible to know who your soulmate
is, what will happen when Steve brings Bucky too live at the compound?
Song: Blink 182 Obvious
I saw you again
I think you used me again
Should we try this before we give up and move on
And pretend to restore what we have and hold on
At times like these
The fights been raging for what feels like hours, remnants of a
vase lay shattered on the floor from your aimed throw at Steve’s head, There’s
a hole in the wall where Steve put his fist through it, you’re hurling insults
at him, He’s steadily getting redder with every word out of your mouth “you
haven’t touched me in a week Steve! Am I that fucking repulsive? Do you hate me
that much?” your breaking down in front of him, tears are streaming down your
face “you cant even look me in the eye! You’re a fucking coward!” you
spit he takes two long steps forward, grabbing you by the arms and
shaking you slightly “Don say things ya cant take back doll, I don’ even know who ya are anymore!” he hisses “I’m getting sick of playin second fiddle to Bucky,
you better make a decision” you’re eyes narrow “Fuckin typical of you Steven!
Heaping the blame straight onto my shoulders! Get your self -righteous head outta
your ass and open your eyes!” “The hell do ya mean? I gave you space! I see the
way you’re eyein him when you think I aint lookin! I won’t be surprised if its
gon’ further than that!” Crack, you’re panting, the red imprint of your hand marking his
flawless porcelain skin, his mouth is opening and closing, searching for
something, anything to say that will fix the cluster fuck
that you both seem to have created, clenching his jaw he takes a deep breath
and says “I love you, but we aint happy, we gotta either fix this mess or give
up on it, I hate the thought of you with him, but if that’s what it takes then
I won’t stand in your way, if you wanna be with me then be with me, you can’t
have it both ways doll” he steps away from you, “Let me know what ya decide,
ill take one of the open rooms in the compound till ya can tell me what ya
want” he adds, he moves to kiss your forehead, but you shove him away from you “you don’t get to do that Steve! you aren’t even going to try and fight for us? MAKE UP YOUR MIND!”
“this is not my decision (y/n), it’s yours” he somberly replies
“so you’re just gonna walk out on me? This isn’t fair Steve, we’re supposed to be partners, We’re supposed to mean something!” you sob
“Guess it didn’t mean as much as we thought it did” he replies as he leaves.
I saw you again
I know you fucked him again
Can you comfort yourself with a sense of revenge
Are you leaving me here with the taste of the end
Bucky had heard the screams emitting from your bedroom and cautiously made his way toward the noise, scanning the corridors for a threat, he ducks into a corner as he sees Steve exiting the bedroom, he knows that look, that’s the look he gets whenever he wakes screaming from a nightmare, drenched in sweat ans shivering with the horror, making his way to the open door, he spies broken glass and plaster scattered around the floor, you’re a mess, face blotchy and red from crying Fuck Steve He think as he watches you sink to the floor, letting out a wail that has
tears coming to his eyes, he rushes forward gathering you in his arms he rocks
you backward and forwards, making vague shushing noises, hoping you get some sort
of comfort from his presence, your shaking in his arms, tears soaking through
his shirt, he absently strokes your hair “I’m here Printsessa” he soothes “let
At times like these
At times like these
This is his fault, he should
never have come here, he should have gone back to Bucharest when he had the
chance, in the space of a few weeks he’s managed to fall in love with his best
friends girl, and what seems to him, break them up, he takes in your sobbing
form sprouting out incoherent sentences, all he can make out is “Bucky”,
“Please” and “Make it stop it” and he breaks, the fuck is wrong with him? What
has he done? Your sobbing is calming down some when he hears you whisper
“Please don’t leave me too James” he gives you a watery smile “I ain goin
I saw you
again and again and again
There’s some room to move on, to move on, to move on
And I saw you again and again and again
How do we fix this if we never have vision
Bucky picks you up bridal style and lays you down on the bed, placing a lingering kiss on your wet cheek, your insides ache, Steve just walked out, a 5 year relationship down the drain, and you couldn’t wrap your head around it, you wouldn’t believe it, couldn’t believe it. you are handling everything wrong, you’re destroying more than just your own relationship, you’re dragging down a friendship that spans a century, you need to stop this now, before you do irreparable harm to them both, you cant be with Steve without hurting Bucky, And you cant be with Bucky without hurting Steve, you can be without them both and hurt only yourself though. With that final heart wrenching thought you utter the words that you know will haunt you for the rest of your long life:
Shock doesn’t even begin to cover his expression “ Wha’ (y/n) No, we-”
“Get. Out. Find Steve. Fix this”
“Don’ do this” He begs
“Leave, right now. I don’t want you here” you lie
The pure gut wrenching sorrow on Bucky’s face almost has you taking back every horrible thing you’ve said, but then Bucky’s face hardens, winter Soldier replacing the warm caring man you have come to know. the look he gives you is so full of venom you physically recoil from it, “Tha’s right doll, let’s ignore each other, Try to pretend the other person doesn’t exist, but deep down we both know it wasn’t supposed to end like this” and with that he turns to leave slamming the door on his way out.
You cry yourself to sleep.
At times like these
At times like these
Tags: Thank you guys for reading. Some of these tags refuse to work!
Because Castypha is my artist name, I opted to use my main blog’s url for my art blog. I made an attempt to separate blogs before, but I didn’t do it the right way, so I decided to give it another shot now that I have a shiny new degree and a whole adult life ahead of me!
All finished artworks will now be posted to castypha and reblogged here.
This blog will stay as my main blog, so not much is really changing besides the source blog of my posts! I’m just keeping my business/art things separate to make everything cleaner and easier for everyone :^)
**Castypha-art, my old and now-defunct art blog, redirects to castypha.**
This change applies to my twitter as well - I am now @castybird on there too!! (likewise, my art twitter is castypha!)
imagine: Can you make an imagine where Hayes and the reader gets into a fight about girls flirting with him, but he dose nothing about it but flirt back and the reader feels left out like she’s not enough for him and the next day at school she found him having a make out session with a girl in the girls bathroom and she got upset and ran away crying and went to her secret hide out and the rest is up to you. If you need more details let me know. Thank you Request from: Anon Warings: Not that i know of… ? except maybe a few curse words.. like two A/N: So the way i ended it was you kinda got with Nash but not really… Hope you enjoy! :)
You were causally leaning up against the locker besides Hayes while he chatted with some more girls. Or should you say while he flirted with them. “OH WOW you do have some pretty big muscels” One stated, but his reply didn’t help the situation as you watched him lift his shirt up. “I got some pretty decent abs too” He gave them a wink before the slantered off giggling, content they got to feel Hayes up. You on the other hand were not content. You wanted to get home and you have to wait on Hayes everyday after school with some new girls or girl. “Do you not like me or something?” You asked while opening your car door as Hayes got in on the passenger side. “Of course! Why wouldn’t i???” He seemed a bit annoyed, but you did ask quite a bit recently. “So you would consider us together, right?” the car roared to light and you swiftly pulled out of your high schools parking lot. “Yes ?!” “Well doesn’t seem like it since you’re always flirting with every other breathing being except your own girlfriend” “Are you kidding me right now?? They flirt with ME” His lips formed a thin line the signal that you probably should drop it but enough is enough and you couldn’t stand his treatment towards you. He always got so defensive when you mention it. “UH im hayes look at my muscles arnt they big, here let me lift my shirt so you can feel them while my girlfriend is right beside me” You snapped in a terrible imitation of his voice.He was quiet for a moment. “So you’re jealouis, typical, drop me off at home.” He growled. “Gladly” a bitterly response came from your mouth, you probably looked pissed and in complete control but on the inside you were slowly breaking down. You always felt like you weren’t good enough and every smile that sends to another girls just seems to make it worse. When you started pulling up the driveway to his house he got out before the car even stopped and slammed the front door behind him. You let out a sigh and turned your car off, maybe you should just go home, cry, call your best friend an eat some ice cream. Instead you get out and walk inside. You were greeted with the warm smell of cookies and Nash and Skye standing over the oven. “(Y/N)!” Skye screamed happily as she saw you walk in the kitchen, Nash sent you a small smile probably already knowing you got in a fight with Hayes. Skye ran up to you and hugged your legs tightlg. “Hi princess” you smiled sweetly while giving her a hug in return. “Want a cookie ? we`re about to watch a movie for kids if you want to join to” Nash said holding the magical gooiness of a chocolate chip cookie. “NASH it IS not for little kids!” Skye sassily replied to hi and put her hands on her hips. “My bad a super duper adult movie” He replied cheekily to her and she giggled while running off to start it. “Yeah i’ll join, thanks” You aceppted the cookie, he gave you a look but didn’t press anymore and you both wondered to the living room. Once all settled in on the couch with the biggest blankets you could find skye pressed play. * * * Half way through the movie Hayes decided to grace you all with his presence. “Wow so since i can’t give you the right treatment you run to my brother, smart” He glowered at you. “Hayes shush you’re just mad because Nash treats her better than you” Skye was quick to respond, a shock look spread over his face and he mumbled a whatever before returning back to his room. Skye turned her attention back to the movie. “Thanks Skye” You sent a small smile her way before finnishing the movie with them, when it finally finished you gave them both a quick goodbye and went on your way to your car. you didn’t even say goodbye o hayes, he didn’t deserve it. * * * The next morning you went to get Hayes only to be greeted by Nash saying he already left, he thought he went with you but you assured him it defiantly wasn’t. So you headed to school alone, for the first time in a pretty long time. You probably looked like a mess so you went to girls bathroom to freshen up but the scene that unraveled before was something you never have been prepared for. Hayes was lipqocked with some girl right there. They wouldn’t even regard your presence as you let out a gasp and you hands flew to your mouth tears already threatening to spill like waterfalls. “Hayes” You voice broke only then did he even turn. Shock, confusion, anger all flashed in his face like a slideshow. He started to say something, probably an excuse but you wouldn’t hear it because you were already gone the tears that were threatening to spill falling freely. You were just through the motions it was time had stopped as you fled to your hide out. You couldn’t believe it, i meam sure yo guys had your moment but he would never CHEAT on you. But then again he just did. “omygosh how manyi times HAS he cheated on me?” you gasp to yourself, you barley could see where you were going now the raindrops in your eyes making you become blind. You stood in front of the huge tree, the leaves spilling out of the branches like mimi canopies. You crawl up to the little treehouse you built when you were probably about five. It was two story but just about one room and then anther staked on top. The droplets fell hard and you felt like you couldn’t breathe. Why did you ever fall for that smile of his? Why did it hurt so much when you knew this probably was going to happen? “(Y/N) ?” A small voice broke you out of your thoughts. You did realize how much time passsed by but the sun was starting to set over the horizon. Pease don’t be hayes you begged silently. Nash appeared before your blurry vision and you gave a small smile. Then a small laugh. Then before you knew it you were laughing, hard. You probably looked like a mess, you could feel the mascara streaks on you cheek ad your hair was everywhere from you constantly pushing your hands through it. “Um Hayes has been searching for you… Why, why are you laughing?” “I have no cue to be honest” he said in between gasps of air and giggles. A few moments passed and your laughter soon died down.You reached for your phone and to your surprise Nash was right you had 20 missed calls and even more messages. (Y/N) I’m sorry please reply i messed up well i messed up a lot I’m sorry you saw that it was her please reply it won’t happen again You loaned and pushed your free hand through your (Y/H/C) hair. You felt Nash breathing beside you. “Im sorry” he finally broke the still air. “You shouldn’t be the one apologizing” “How many times have you caught him” you heart stopped for a second, times. As in plural. “What do you mean times” you emphasized the s. “Shit” Nash cursed under his breath and now it was his turn to push his hands through his raven black hair. you glowered at him urging him to continue. “Well i might have caught him once..” You rose your eyebrows “…twice..” you just continued to stare ”..a lot, okay? Ive caught him a lot, and I’m sorry i should’ve told you but..” That was all you needed to here for the so though dried up well filled up again. Nash pulled you into him as you bawled your eye out drenching his shirt. He whispered comforting words as he realization that all those scenarios you thought off became real. Hayes cheated on you. Multiple times. After a good half hour you calmed down enough to talk again. “Do you want to talk about it?” you held up a finger for a one-moment thing. You had to dump his sorry ass first. You dialed the all too familiar number into your cell phone as it began to ring. Half of you felt strong and believed you could do it, the other half felt like you were crumbling apart. “omg (Y/n) ? Im so so sorry, just please…” you were quick to cut him off. “Cut the crap Hayes, how many times ?” “wh-what do you mean ?” he blubbered. “How many times did you heat on me” you emphasized each word as i you were talking to a child. The other line went silent. “How many ?” you repeated. “I’ve lost track..” he trailed off, you let out a scoff. “Alright cool, so heres whats going to happen, were over. Since you can’t seem to commit i won’t make you, have fun with people who won’t care about you. Also ill still be coming over because i love hanging out with Skye and Nash and when i am over you aren’t to speak at me. Have fun” you clicked the end call button before you could even protest. Nash had become quiet either with shock or because he was impressed. “Ready?” you asked already climbing down the stairs to the bottom of the tree. “For what?” “I wanna make cookies with Skye” “You know Skye was right” He let out a chuckle before following after you to your car. “About what?” you questioned, trying to fix yourself up as much as you could in the car mirror. The end result was about as close to as putting a bow on a trashcan. “I do and would treat you better than Hayes.” Nash replied as he climbed into the passenger seat, his blue eyes piercing your own. “I guess i should find out if thats true then huh?” you causally replied with a million dollar smile as you turned the ignition on and drove to his house for a date with Nash, Skye and chocolate chip goodness.
On Depression, PTSD, and why Yang needs more empathy from the fanbase
Hey there! Mod Diorite here. In the fandom, I often see a lot of posts that misunderstand what depression and PTSD are, mostly because they are written by people who do not suffer from these illnesses, or do not suffer on the same level as Yang did.
As much as I disliked some of Yang’s arc, and felt it went by too quickly with far too little development, I have to admit. Miles and Kerry did write Yang’s depression and PTSD very accurately for the first few episodes.
For reference, here are my experiences:
I am diagnosed with Chronic Depression and PTSD from trauma. My Chronic Depression comes and goes, and is usually triggered by outside events that I cannot control (Like a family member dying, or friend committing suicide). While I am very fortunate that my Chronic Depression does not make me want to kill myself, or harm myself, it still affects me in very physical ways, namely being:
-Oversleeping -Overeating -Lack of energy -Lack of interest in things I used to like -Inability to concentrate -No motivation -Inability to sleep/bad nightmares
And other physical symptoms. These are all symptoms that Yang also had in RWBY4. My PTSD is interlinked with my Chronic Depression. As my therapist likes to put it, my PTSD is often what triggers my Depression. An event that can trigger my PTSD will make me go into a depressive phase. Like this past month. In early April, I had a “trigger event”. This trigger event made it so that I:
-Gained weight -Stopped working out -Overslept -Went off my diet -Had horrific nightmares -Didn’t have the motivation to do anything, or energy -Couldn’t focus/concentrate as well -Lost interest in my hobbies.
About two weeks into my depressive phase, I realized what was going on, as my therapist, father and I worked on ways to recognize when I start to spiral into a depressive phase. But even with my fathers support, and therapist helping me, it has taken me a month to start to get even slightly on track. Last week I finally stopped oversleeping. This week I’m back on my diet. Next week I’m going to try to start working out. I’m working on ways to bring back my motivation and energy.
But it is still incredibly hard, and if I didn’t have a good support net helping me through it and encouraging me, I don’t know where I’d be. Because that is the thing with depression, it is an illness. It prevents you from acting like a “normal” human being and people do not seem to understand that. Hell, as someone who is physically disabled I’d even argue it is a disability. It’s horrible.
So, when I see people try to defend Tai’s “moping” comment, I get pissed off. When I see people say that Yang should know something is wrong and try to fix it and that it is her fault for letting it dictate who she is and doesn’t try to change it…. I get incredibly pissed off. People who make these comments have no idea what depression is, clearly.
Yang has probably never experienced depression and PTSD before. She probably has no idea what is going on, because when you go through a depressive spiral you do not automatically realize what is going on. It takes a while, and it is even harder to realize what is going on when you have parents who say you’re just “Moping around”.
Seeking out help for depression is difficult, it is challenging. You have no energy and motivation, and your mind is constantly telling you things that are not true. It took me years of suffering through my depression to finally get help, and it was only after I completely and totally broke that my father helped me get into therapy. I have a supportive dad who gets what I am going through, he helped me. Taiyang isn’t supportive. His moping about comment is damaging, not helpful.
Life with depression is insanely hard. It is difficult and challenging and if you don’t have a good support net you might never get help. That is not the fault of the person suffering depression. They have an illness that is making it hard for them to get help. We need to stop putting the blame onto the victim and instead start working to help them through what they’re going through.
tl;dr Stop blaming Yang for her depression. It isn’t her fault, and it is super hard and challenging to get help for. Read a book on depression before you judge.
dont reblog//the biggest problem with the haircut is that she…. cut it right down the middle….. so it looks really bad from anything but an angle, so ill have to see if i can fix it by myself. i’ll wash it to settle it, then ive gotta see if itll let me fix the part.
my mother, who knows im a man, on the phone: [visibly upset] its a little mannish, but at least she likes it i guess.