let me cry for my dedication

anonymous asked:

Prompt:: arin confesses and Dan rejects him, but slowly realizes that warm butterfly feeling inside of him whenever he was with arin wasn't just a coincidence and theres a good ol gay happy ending :)

ahahahaha. so this turned out to be an angst fest, but i refuse to apologize.

is there a happy ending? i guess you’ll have to figure it out for yourself.

let me go get some tissues

also holy crap this is long it’s over 3000 words

dedicated to @rubberbangin bc i teased a few spoilers

warning: sexuality crisis and small panic attack!


There was a happy sound ringing throughout the Gru//mp room.

One of Danny’s favorite sounds was Arin’s laugh. He wasn’t completely sure why, but he figured it had something to do with the fact that Arin’s laugh was extremely infectious and made a warm, bubbly feeling rise in Danny’s chest.

He always felt comfortable when he heard Arin’s laugh. It felt like an old friend greeting you with a genuine hug.

Not that he’d thought about it, of course.

In fact, lately Danny had been doing his utmost to not think about his best friend and fellow Gru//mp. He didn’t like some of the thoughts that had been running through his mind recently, so he did what he always did: he stamped it out.

But tonight wasn’t about whispered self-doubts and inner struggles; it was about Arin sitting beside him laughing while Mario jumped yet again and sank helplessly in the water level they were stuck on.

“Dude, the fuckin’ fish is giving me the side-eye,” Arin howled, clapping his knee with mirth. “D’you see that shit? I love Mario!”

Danny’s face hurt from laughing so much. “I know, man.” He adopted a high-pitched, gurgly voice for the fish: “Dammit, Arin, you fucked it up!”

Arin laughed as Mario died and the game over screen flashed at them. “Priceless. Alright. I think it’s about time for next time on Game Gru//mps.” He yawned.

“Yeah, we’re both sleepy. Take care, all you beautiful people,” Danny chirped into the mic.

 As he reached forward to start putting stuff away, Arin mumbled sleepily, “You’re a beautiful person.”

Danny smiled and “aw”-ed, switching off the recording as Arin jotted down the time. His heart had perked up at Arin’s compliment, but Arin always said things like that. Arin had a heart of gold and would take every opportunity to praise him.

“I mean it. Like, you’re gorgeous,” Arin rambled, rubbing his eyes as he gazed at the screen blearily. “Fuckin’…like…I love the way you look. I love your smile, and…your sense of humor, and, like…your fuckin’ eyes…”

Danny was fighting to control his panicking brain, reminding himself Arin was sleepy and confused. “C’mon, dude, you don’t have to flatter me to get in my pants,” he teased, hoping the banter would liven Arin again.

But to his confusion, Arin just turned and gazed at him. “But you are pretty, Danny,” he murmured. “It’s one of the reasons I love you so much.”

Danny’s chest dropped, and an unfamiliar feeling filled the room. Danny felt his fingers squeeze the side of the couch, and he forced a laugh. “Knock it off, Ar. Let’s go, it’s late.”

Arin frowned. “You’re not listening to me.”

Danny stood. “You’re windin’ me up. I’m going home.”


Danny found himself standing against the wall, Arin standing in front of him. Arin no longer looked sleepy or confused. His eyes, those familiar brown eyes that often twinkled when he laughed, were serious and looking directly at him. He looked somber, but his eyes still held warmth. He stood a couple feet away.

“I need to talk to you, Dan.”

Danny straightened, telling himself to stop freaking out and listen. Arin might need help, he scolded himself. You’re his best friend. Listen to him.

“Yeah, Arin? What’s up?”

“I need to tell you something important.” Arin’s gaze shifted slightly, and he rubbed the back of his neck—a nervous habit, Danny knew. “Um. I’ve been meaning to tell you for some time, but…it’s kinda hard.”

Danny waited.

“I…fuck, man, I’m in love with you.”

Silence stretched between them, and Arin took a few beats before speaking again, his words coming out jumbled and rushed:

“I know it’s weird, of course I know that, but I can’t help it. I understand if it’s strange, but I felt like you had a right to know, and—”

Danny cut him off. “Stop it.”

Arin paused, a confused look passing across his face. “Huh?”

“Stop teasing me, dude.” Danny’s face looked dark as he turned away. “It isn’t funny. Stop it.”

Arin’s face crumpled. “Dan, you think…you think I’m joking?”

It’s Arin’s ruined expression that really sent the message home, and Danny wasn’t quite sure what he felt. Emotions churned within him, demanding to be released, but he pushed them down again.

He didn’t want Arin to see his face. He turned away.

“Even if…even if you’re not kidding, you can’t expect…” he trailed off. A lump had lodged itself in his throat. He couldn’t even believe he was having this conversation. “You can’t expect me to feel the same way.”

After a small silence, Danny risked a look back at Arin. He wasn’t crying or looking angry or anything. In fact, he just looked blank.

“Right.” Danny hated the way Arin sounded more than anything in the world. “I—I know. I know you don’t feel the same, uh, I just thought you should know. Don’t worry, this won’t change anything.” It took him a moment, but Arin mustered up a genuine, if small, smile. “I’ll see you in a few days, okay?”

Danny felt like his heart was frozen as Arin walked out the door.


Danny was going crazy.

He paced his room, discarded half-assed lyrics scattered across the floor. He could still hear Arin’s voice echoing through his head:

I…fuck, man, I’m in love with you.

He flopped onto his bed, panic beginning to edge in. He was terrified and he wasn’t even sure why. Where had all that honesty come from? Where were all these feelings coming from? Why had Arin said that so suddenly?

And why had it…excited him?

Danny knew he needed to sort out his emotions, but that scared him even more than seeing Arin’s upset face. He felt like he wasn’t strong enough or ready to tackle all these weird and new feelings.

But then Arin had thrust him right in the middle of it, forcing him to come to terms with the storm in his heart.

Frustrated tears pricked his eyes. He needed to talk.

So, he rolled over and pressed the speed dial to someone who wouldn’t judge and would listen.


 Danny opened the door to welcome Brian. “Hey, man. Thanks for coming over.”

“Well, you did say it was an ‘emergency,’” Brian replied, stepping inside. “So, what’s going on? And why haven’t you texted me back in two days?”

Brian followed Danny to the living room. Danny was jittery. This was the first time he’d confront these emotions and let his secret slip to someone else. But it needed to be done. For Arin, he reminded himself.

Danny sat, motioning for Brian to do the same. “It’s…about Arin.”

Brian quirked an eyebrow. “What about him?”

Danny took a deep breath. “Something happened a couple days ago.”

After Danny had completed his story, Brian got up, walked over and stared Danny dead in the eyes. “Let me get this straight. Arin told you he was in love with you, and you told him to stop kidding around?”

Danny winced. “Well—”

“Dan.” Brian sounded exasperated. “I know I don’t have to tell you, but you’re a fucking idiot. He didn’t even get a full response!”

“I know!” Danny cut him off before he could get into a full-blown lecture. “I feel really shitty about it, okay? But I wasn’t sure what to do! I was too scared!”

Brian’s face melted into confusion as he sat back down. “Scared?”

Danny chewed on his lip. “Look, it’s just…lately, I’ve been feeling…different, and it scares me, okay? I’m not even sure who I am anymore.”

Brian softened. “What is it, Dan?”

“It’s my feelings!” Danny burst out. “I’ve never had feelings for a guy, Brian! We make jokes and rib each other, but none of us have…y’know…confessed! Or dated a dude! And then, of all people, I start…l-liking a guy? It fucking scared the shit out of me.” He went silent, staring at his shoes. “And then I think, is there something wrong with me? Why only this one guy? I’ve only ever liked girls before. And then the feelings are so fucking strong, and it makes me reevaluate everything I thought I knew about myself.” Tears leaked out, and Danny wiped his face. “It’s terrifying to not know who you are, Brian.”

“So, then you were forced to confront these new ideals when Arin confessed,” Brian said gently. “You were trying to repress them, weren’t you?”

“I know it wasn’t right, but I didn’t know what else to do,” Danny said quietly. “It freaked me out. The person I usually told about these sorts of things was the one person that couldn’t know, Brian.”

There was a short silence, and something clicked for Brian. “Wait. You love him?”

Danny jerkily moved. “I don’t know. I don’t fucking know.”

Brian leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. “Dan. Listen to me. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s perfectly normal to suddenly get feelings you don’t expect. And yeah, it’s terrifying to have to figure yourself out all over again when you’re almost forty. But we as humans are always changing, Dan. It’s a part of life. And as far as labeling yourself or deciding the type of person you like…who cares? Just let yourself be you. I know all your friends would support you.” Brian smiled. “Arin would support you.”

Danny smiled, his eyes watery. “Yeah. He always does.”

Brian moved to sling an arm over Danny’s shoulders. “You okay, Danny? I know this must’ve been scary to think about.”

“It was only scary because it was all so new and I didn’t know who to talk to about it,” Danny said softly, reaching for a tissue. “I guess I panicked a little with Arin, huh?”

“You can take time to sort yourself out,” Brian suggested. “Take as long as you need to be comfortable and then talk about it with Arin and whoever else you want to tell.”

But Danny shook his head. “It’s not fair to Arin. He didn’t even get an actual response from me, Brian. Besides, I want him to help me sort this out. I don’t want to do this without him.”

Brian smiled. “Just don’t feel like you owe Arin anything. He would hate that. He’d much rather your reply be genuine and thought out than rash and just because you’re confused, you know.”

“Yeah. I know. But you know the funny thing, Brian? I did have a response for Arin. I think my answer is why I freaked out in the first place.”

Brian quirked an eyebrow. “Really?”

           Danny felt a blush creep over his cheeks, and he stared at his shoe. “So maybe my feelings for Arin haven’t been strictly platonic. And maybe that’s why I started having these new thoughts in the first place.”

Brian didn’t look surprised. “How long?”

“Just a few weeks.”

Brian sighed and leaned back on the couch. “When are you gonna tell him? Because I’m assuming you’re not just gonna never tell him.”

“I’m not! I’ll tell him after our next session. It’s not exactly easy to bring up, Brian.”

The two men looked at each other, and Brian flashed a mischievous grin. “Just don’t have sex on the couch, okay? I’d rather the Space remains clean.”

Danny turned red and shoved him. “Shut the fuck up!”


Danny tentatively entered the Space, but if he expected anything to be different, he was mistaken. Arin greeted him with his usual grin and big hug. And yeah, maybe Arin’s cheerful tone was carefully even, and maybe Danny’s heart beat a mile a minute when he saw him, but everything was normal.

Okay, so maybe not completely normal.

If Brian was expectant, he didn’t show it. He greeted Danny with a middle finger and a hello as Suzy and Ross ambled in to say hi. Danny chatted with Vernon for a few minutes, keeping an eye on Arin, who was laughing with Ross about something. Eventually Arin wandered into the office area to do something, and Danny was close on his heels.

He sat on a beanbag near Arin’s desk as Arin opened something on his computer. He watched him for a few moments before asking as normally as possible: “How was your and Suzy’s trip to Disney yesterday?”

Arin’s eyes lit up and a smile tugged on his mouth. Danny watched him with fascination as he told a story about how he’d nearly thrown up on Space Mountain and Suzy had almost demanded for the people to stop the ride.

Danny’s heart felt fuzzy and mushy. He wondered if everything would be okay. Would Arin even still want him? What would the others say? What about Suzy? What…what would dating Arin be like?

He mentally shook himself. Today wasn’t just about him. Arin and Suzy both had a part to play, too. He’d talk to Suzy later. Now, he needed to speak to Arin about all of this.

Opening his mouth, Danny was about to say something when Barry popped in, grinning. “Hey, Dan, didn’t see you come in. Arin, we need to talk about this next episode of Doodle Doods. Ryan’s editing it right now.”

“Sure,” Arin replied, looking away from the computer. “We don’t have to start recording for a little while. What’s up?”

Danny waited, somewhat impatiently, as Barry explained something about the style of the video and when it should be cut and so on. Arin thought for a moment before asking if he could see the video. To Danny’s disappointment, Arin followed Barry over to Matt and Ryan’s editing stations.

He supposed their talk would just have to wait.


Eight hours and three bags of Skittles later, Danny was sitting on the Gru//mp couch watching Arin finally complete a Mario level.

It was as if their awkward conversation a few days ago had never happened. Arin was as lively and goofy as ever, and Danny found it surprisingly easy to slip into his normal routine with Arin again. He kept having second doubts. Maybe he shouldn’t say anything. Maybe things were better like this. Maybe he shouldn’t risk their friendship for what they could be.

But he kept remembering Brian’s stern eyes and his own resolve to do this for Arin’s sake. It was that promise of what they could be that made him ready to talk.

And things weren’t totally normal. There was a conspicuous lack of playful flirting and sexual jokes. Dick jokes were abundant, but no flirty suggestions or kinky banter at all. Perhaps Arin thought Danny wouldn’t like it anymore.

It was the exact opposite. Danny missed it.

Finally, Arin’s hands dropped the controller as he said goodbye. “See you guys for…whatever the fuck we play next.”

Danny laughed and added his own farewells, reaching forward to flip off the recording. He took a deep, calming breath. He could do this.

He turned to look at Arin, who was scribbling on the paper in front of him. He was softly biting his lower lip, his eyes creased in concentration. Danny’s heart pounded in his chest.

Danny cleared his throat. “Um. Hey, Arin.”

Arin turned to him, expectant. “What’s up?”

He fidgeted. “Uh. I, um. About what happened the other day…”

A shutter closed over Arin’s eyes, his smile turning into a carefully neutral expression. “Dan, look, like I said, just forget—”

“I was wrong,” Danny blurted, cutting him off. He stumbled on. “I-I was wrong about…about what I said.” He ran his fingers through his hair, feeling the panic starting to swell in his chest. “I didn’t mean what I said. I mean, I meant it at the time because I was scared, but it isn’t like I hated what you were saying. I just panicked, because this was all so unexpected and…”

Danny couldn’t breathe. He felt like his throat was being constricted, and he gulped for air. His shoulders were shaking, and he tried desperately to suppress the panic rising in his voice.

Before he knew what was happening, Arin was beside him, placing a hand on his back and holding the other one. “Breathe. C’mon, Dan, deep breaths. Watch me, okay? Breathe with me. That’s great, you’re doing great.”

Danny focused on Arin’s eyes, glinting with compassion and concern. Slowly, his breathing returned to normal and he stopped shaking.

Arin was rubbing his back and squeezing his hand. “There you go. You okay, buddy?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.” Danny whispered, squeezing Arin’s hand back. As if just realizing they were holding hands, Arin quickly released Danny’s and looked at his lap.

“If it’s really that hard for you to talk about, why don’t you just forget it happened?” Arin asked in a tiny voice.

Danny steeled himself. “Because I don’t want to forget it happened, Arin. I mean, fuck…it was the best news I’ve gotten in a long time.”

Confusion marred Arin’s face as he looked back up. “What?”

Danny’s hands twisted in his lap. “I actually…I like you, Arin. It just took me awhile to realize it.”

Arin blinked at him slowly.

“I’ve been dealing with a lot of shit lately, and I’m sorry I took it out on you,” Danny continued, his voice soft. “I started having strange feelings about the same sex and it scared the hell out of me. I didn’t want to think about it.”

Arin’s face was a mask. “Dan.”

He looked at Arin’s face, expectant.

Arin softened slightly. “It’s not your fault. I should’ve realized.” He moved to pat Danny’s shoulder. “I’m here for you, okay, buddy? I know what it’s like to have to figure out your sexuality. It’s confusing.” Arin paused. “But you’re not alone. And hey, if you like dick, that just makes us more alike than we originally thought.”

Danny laughed, a little brokenly, not realizing how much he needed to hear those words from Arin until now.

“Let yourself figure it out.” Arin smiled. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Danny reached forward to close his fist around Arin’s sleeve. “I love you.”

It was a quiet but shattering phrase. Danny meant it with every ounce of his being. Whether it was meant romantically or platonically, he wasn’t completely sure yet. But he meant it.

And Arin knew he meant it.

Maybe they weren’t dating. Maybe they would never date. But there was something more there, something shimmering under the surface. Danny knew Arin loved him, and Arin knew Danny loved him.

Danny was confused and Arin knew that. There was a tangle of emotions between the two men. Love, hurt, confusion, affection, heartbreak, and more. It was left to stir with them. No one knew each other as well as they did. No matter what, they had each other. Their friendship was all they’d ever needed.

And maybe, Danny thought as Arin enveloped him in a hug, maybe that’s enough.

I think I’m strong and I think I’m compassionate and I think I can make a difference in the world if I decide to but I hate you because you made me doubt that. Because out of all the things in this world to cry over, I cried over you. And after all the things that I’ve gotten through, I let you take me down. And out of all the better, more important things that I could have dedicated my time to, I spent hours thinking about you, talking myself out of calling you, wondering why you did what you did and what I did wrong. And you didn’t deserve that. Out of all the things that deserved my time, tears, effort, and passion, you were never one.
boyfriend!mark lee

• adorable laugh
• you never get tired of hearing it !! bc !! it’s !! so !! cute !!
• really precious
• sort of intense
• but only because he really likes you and wants to be open with you
• and it’s his first relationship he doesn’t really know what he’s doing
• always paranoid he’s gonna scare you off
• but it’s ok you feel the same as him

Keep reading

When We Rise…I cried during the whole damn show and I’m still crying. It’s rare that the LGBTQ+ community gets to see representation on TV let alone a whole mini series dedicated to the fight for our rights. I had a bonding moment with my mom expressing to her how much something like this means to me as a young lesbian woman who’s still trying to feel comfortable as such in the society we live in. Incredible.

anonymous asked:

i just rewatched the new gaming vid while reading along with your review and it took me 80 minutes i love it so much i had to keep replaying parts and stopping to read what you had to say i love your reviews tysm for writing them

oh  my god this is the highest level of dedication i can’t even fathom!!!!! hahaah thats nearly as long as it took me to write that post im shook!!!! thank you so much for reading and letting me know you enjoyed it this is the actual nicest thing ever and im gonna cry :(((

I’m sorry ( Zen x Mc xYoosung)

Fandom: Mystic Messenger
Pairing: Zen x MC (reader) x Yoosung
Rating : Mild angst

Summary:Mc used to be in a relationship with Zen, but after being bullied by his fans, things changed - Zen changed and so MC is left alone with the wounds of her past. The one who tries to mend her wounds is Yoosung, but will their relationship turn into a romantic one or is the past going to ruin it all? (。•̀ᴗ-)✧

Authors notes: This is Mc’s perspective throughout her relationship with Zen and how she felt with Jaehee not trusting her and being against their relationship. How did MC’s life change while she was in a relationship with Zen? Did it turn for the better or did his fame only hurt her? Read on and find out~~ Hope you like it, cuties~  ( ˘ ³˘)♡


Life without him, is something can hardly imagine. Just picturing all the times, we used to chat and the conversations we had and the first time he saw me in flesh. Maybe that time when he saw me, was actually the moment where I knew that I was in love with him. How he got all excited and just how big his eyes got. He reminded me of how excited children would get when you gave them something they really wanted. Did his expression mean the same – did he really truly want me?

Someone so … normal like me? If I had to be honest I was constantly afraid of how he would react to me once he would get to meet me. But at some point I was waiting in anticipation for the day where we could be together in our own small world. Because maybe, just maybe, after all the times Jaehee was, how can I say…mean and very, hum, possessive of Zen, I didn’t know what to do. At one point I tried to understand her, but the more I tried the harder it was. Being doubted and not trusted left a scar in my heart which I knew wouldn’t heal so quickly. It was painful, trying to help the organisation when at the same time, the very people you wanted to help, did background checks on you and didn’t trust you. 

Zen trusted me with ease, he always said he just had a feeling that I was trustworthy and a good person. The more I interacted with all of the members of the rfa, the more everyone warmed up to me, I was starting to feel welcome and maybe even … loved?

But there was always Jaehee, always with her “if I may be so bold…” yada yada, I get it you don’t like me. It’s hard being nice to someone like her, when I actually really wanted to be her friend. But how can any relationship work, where there is no trust. And honestly I was starting to get fed up with how she would meddle constantly, just because she was a fan of Zen’s. I do understand that she was only protecting him, but there is a line between wanting what is best for someone and being possessive. In all that protecting she forgot about the one person she cared for – Zen. She forgot that he too has feelings, that he too is human and that if his fans did love him for who he was, they would accept the fact that he would maybe someday be with someone who loves and cherishes him. Also – his fans are supposed to love him for his work and not just for his looks. Maybe that is one reason, for why Zen liked me?
Because frankly, I wasn’t his fan, didn’t know about him. 

But I cared for him and his passion for his work. He is dedicated, strong and works hard in everything he does. That is why he so amazing and that is why, I fell in love with him.

It was nice how everyone in the rfa gave us their blessing, after a while even Jaehee warmed up to me. To this day, she is still at times is weird and goes on and on about how we should wait with every small thing in our relationship but I don’t mind, I see in her eyes that she is my friend and that now – she even means all what she says not to turn me away, but in a way to protect me.

This – me thinking about the past and reminiscing about how lucky I was is something that as of lately would often do. I would sit on the couch with a warm cup of tea in my lap and just think about everything. Before that happened all of us were happy.

The sudden ringing of the doorbell woke me from my thoughts and I walked towards it, I already knew who it was.  As I opened the door and welcome my visitor with a big smile.

“Hello MC, how have you been lately? Is everything alright, can you manage living all by yourself? Hopefully you don’t feel to bored without any company.” 

Spoke the cute blonde. At his question I only shook my head and showed him to step inside, he sighed slightly and nodded. I was about to go and prepare him a cup of tea, when he stopped me in mid of my tracks and took my hand.

“MC, I know that after all of that you don’t want to … see him or her and I am glad that you are even staying in touch with the rest of us. I feel like we all … weren’t good friends to you, we could have protected you better.”

I saw how his eyes watered and squeezed his hand at that and gave him a small smile. 

“I miss your voice, I miss your laugh MC. What those fans did to you is unforgivable.”

Ah, that is right …  I was bullied by Zen’s fans and … they almost killed me and the result from all that trauma was that I became a selective mute and I could only speak with some people. When I did speak though – I only spoke out a few words, but after some time I couldn’t talk anymore, I just stopped. At times the only one I could speak to was Zen, but after some time, when he started to change I couldn’t even talk to him anymore. He did feel responsible for everything that happened and as I was hospitalised. Zen would often visit me and bring me gifts and talk all about his work and how he missed me, missed … us. 

 Then after a while the visits would stop and I would often just be all alone in that white room. At those times all I had were the thoughts in my head that would slowly make me go insane. One thing that did keep me going was my window. Though it was painful to see the time fly, to see how the world was still moving even after all those horrible things happened to me. But I loved it, I loved how the sky would change in colour, how it would look different at different times in the day.  

As naïve as I was, I would always turn to the door and wait for someone, anyone that I knew to visit me and help me forget all about that time. That horrible time when I tried my hardest not to let Zen know just how much his fans hurt me, how mean they would get and just how mean Jaehee could get. If the rfa member knew just how much nasty things were behind the scenes, would they still claim to love each other? To love me?  

I believed them nonetheless. I was aware of the secrets and the things V hid from everyone, I just didn’t know how big these secrets actually were – so big that it endangered lives. But I loved them, I truly did, each and every one of them. Even if Jahee did those unspeakable things, even if Zen left me, I loved them and this love that I felt for them has only given me more pain. I believed in them, in my lovely members.

The rfa members, just didn’t have the time to visit and I understood. I knew that they would visit if they could, deep inside I knew. At least the ones who knew what happened could have visited. The only one who didn’t know was Yoosung – all of them thought that he would not be able to handle what happened to me. I understood and tried to be strong. But after all that happened and after all that they did to me it still it hurt and I wasn’t as strong as they thought I was. I was slowly crumbling and I was starting to loose myself.

As I gazed at my wrists that held light marks from that time, when I was weak and didn’t find any other way, Yoosung gently took hold of my wrist and kissed it. Ha…Yoosung, after they finally told him what happened he changed. All that anger that he felt for V and the organisation turned to hate, he hated them all. He was so mad at them, for betraying his trust, for letting all of this happen. He only stayed for my sake. He would run to me so many times, it turned to daily visits and he would stay for a long time or I would visit him and watch him play LOLOL. His presence calmed me and I wasn’t as scared. He grew to be taller, stronger and muscular. His shoulders were broader and I felt safer. I looked at him and no matter how much he might have grown I still saw the cutie Yoosung that would always blush at my compliments.

 Even now there was a slight dust of pink on his cheeks. And he spoke up while holding both of my hands; “I would have protected you if I knew, I would try to save you, would try to make the pan go away. I am so sorry that I couldn’t, I am sorry that you are hurting. I wish I was you knight.”

He led me to the couch and wrapped his arms around me and held me, maybe he thought that I was going to cry.

“You can…you can let it out if you want.”

I shook my head, I couldn’t’ cry anymore. All that happened has passed and I even if my life has changed I tried to live on. Zen might have left me, but I still had the comfort of my friends Yoosung and Jumin. Both of them have dedicated their time to visit me and make sure that I was alright.
Just as I thought of Jumin, Yoosung asked me; “Did Jumin visit you lately? How long has it been since he was here?”. I pulled back from the hug and showed him with my finger the number three – signalising that it has been three days. A slow hum escaped Yoosung.

“What about him? Does he ever contact you? Or…?”

I put my finger on his lips and only shook my head and after a long while feeling comfortable to speak up, I opened my mouth and in a hushed voice I said; 

“You are here.” 

He wore a shocked expression on his face, which instantly softened into a warm smile and tears in his eyes he embraced me again, but now stronger and … it felt warmer.

“And here I will stay! I promise to protect you, from now on I will be there!”

I wanted to cherish this sweet moment, feeling warm and safe in the arms of someone who cherished me so much. But this moment would surely pass – for a message was sent from an unknown number on my phone and the only thing it said was; 

“I’m sorry.”

Perfect // Jack Maynard

Word Count- 859

Summary- based off ‘perfect’ by ed sheeran

A/N- 1) this song is one of my faves atm 2) I couldn’t not write about it 3) dedicated to liv, thanks for crying with me last night about this song and jack. also sorry it’s short, but i didnt want to overdue it


Jack never planned on falling in love so young. He never planned on bringing a girlfriend let alone, the same girlfriend for two Christmases in a row. He never planned on finding his soul mate so young. He never planned on moving in with her after 2 long years. He never planned on buying a ring. He never planned on being the first buttercream to get married. He never planned on getting married at 21. He assumed he’d grow up and go on crazy adventures and sleep with countless girls throughout his twenties. He assumed it’s what he was supposed to do.

But then he met you.

You had just turned 17 and when he first saw you, he knew right then and there. He was going to fall for you, hard.

It was rough in the beginning. You guys were still kids, you still made mistakes or forgot that relationships took more than just saying ‘I love you’. You had to show it.

But after the first year or so, you both knew; you knew that what you two had was forever.

And Jack couldn’t be happier. He had found his soul mate, his person. He never thought he’d actually find the person who was waiting to spend the rest of their life with him. He wasn’t fully sure that person existed.

But you showed him that you did. And now, five years later, you were still the only one who had a spot in his heart.

So, in this exact moment, as you swayed around your living room, you two were both thinking the same thing.

I love you.

Jack let go of one of your hands, flinging you out and then twirling you around and around.

You giggled as you spun in circles, causing Jack’s smile to grow.

When he pulled you back in, you buried your face into his chest.

“Perfect,” Jack whispered as he stared at you.

“What?” you chuckled, looking up at him.

“You look perfect tonight.”

“I’m a mess right now, and this belly’s not helping.” You said, staring at your protruding belly that currently housed your unborn baby girl.

“Hey,” he stopped dancing, putting his hand underneath your chin.

“You look absolutely perfect right now. You are growing a child, our child. And I couldn’t be happier right now, because I’m with you.”

“I love you Jack,” you leant up to kiss him.

“I love you too, Y/n. So bloody much,” he kissed you back. “Now, where were we?”

“I believe you were about to spin me,” you giggled, extending your hand.

“Why of course!” he took your hand and spun you around, smiling as you laughed.

He was truly so happy when he was with you. You were always there to help it. If he was sad, you knew just what to say, or do. If he was happy, you were there to celebrate. If he was angry, you were there to help him cool off. If he was confused, you were the light to guide him. You were the answer to all of his questions. No matter what, you would always be there.

“Wait,” you stopped. “This is our song.”

You smiled as I Can’t Help Falling in Love with You by Elvis Presley emitted through the speakers. This had been your song since forever. It was song that was playing when walked through the doors of the doors of your secondary school gym. You had just moved to town and your parents insisted you go and make friends. Jack was sitting at one of the tables joking with his friends. But when he saw the doors open and you walk in, he knew he had to meet you.

“I know,” he smiled. “Want me to dip you?”

“No, you wouldn’t be able to,” you said, mtion towards your belly.

“If my wife wants me to dip her, then I will. Plus Baby Maynard won’t mind,” he squatted. “What do you think sweetheart? Do you care if daddy dips mommy?” He stood back up, smiling.

“See? No protests.”

You smiled, “Just don’t drop me.”

As the lyrics poured into the room, Jack grabbed you by the waist. You put your arms around his arms, and he slowly dipped you. Faces inches apart, he sang to you. He only ever sang to you, no one else. Because no one else deserved to see that part of him.

“I love you Y/n,” he said has he brought his lips to yours. “And I couldn’t see a future with anyone else but you, you are absolutely perfect. I don’t deserve you because you are perfect. And I make it my duty to show you just how perfect you are to me. I have a lifetime to prove why I’m the one for you.”

“Jack, you don’t need to prove anything. I know you’re the only one for me. And I can’t tell you how much you mean to me.”

He pulled you back up, “You don’t need to tell me, because you show me every day love.”

“You are amazing, Jack.”

“And you, are perfect Y/n.” he said, spinning you once again.

anonymous asked:

I work at a daycare and while they're not traditional "customers" some of the parents drive me absolutely crazy! Like, the parents who hold their crying kids at drop off for like 10 minutes? Listen, your kid will still be crying when you put them down to leave and that's 10 minutes I had to dedicate to you and your kid and not the 17 other children in the room. Let them cry. I will take care of them. That's my JOB.

Rip off the band aid! My little guy started school this year and he clung to me like I was trying to throw him into boiling water. I put him down on the school bus and he started crying. Thankfully the bus driver was awesomely prepared. He gave my son a toy school bus. The next day my son ran up the steps and yelled “BYE MOMMY!” without even giving me a kiss. lol The first day is hard, but it’ll only be harder if you just stand there prolonging the kid’s fear. Those trained to deal with kids, like you, know what they’re doing. -Abby

Last day of Pride Month 2017

(sorry this can’t be included in joke week but i just really want to share this story, hope that’s okay)

So, I’m asexual, I realized this at the beginning of 2016. I’m out online and at school, but not to my family. I never really considered myself as being ‘in the closet’ anyway? I actually don’t feel the need to tell them about my sexuality, yes, part of me is terrified to, but in general I just don’t feel the need to- in order to feel satisfied. Maybe someday though. 

My older sister is married and has a son, and we were talking about kids and my current experience in high school. Today, she asked me “…are you seeing anyone?”  It took me a few moments (and an obvious cringe at the thought of having a relationship) to answer her. I decided to just go for it. I told her that “I’m not into guys. Or girls. Or anyone. I’m an asexual.” I tried to tell her this nonchalantly, but I ended up crying as I said that. 

My sister accepts me. She told me that it was okay. She has made me feel loved. I’ve never had this big, emotional coming out moment until now, on the final day of Pride Month.

The last day of Pride Month, is also dedicated to aromantics. Honestly, I’ve got perfect timing. I’m unsure as to whether I’m an aromantic asexual or not, so this marks the day of my own new journey of self discovery. 

I just want to let people know that who you come out to is your choice. If you are in a toxic, hateful household or community, you do not have to come out unless you feel that it will give you freedom or happiness. It’s okay, even if you are surrounded by supportive people, to chose whether they know or not. You are valid even if you don’t tell anyone. You are valid. You do exist. You are loved deeply. 

Zelda's Log #2.5: A Memory of a Memory (Detour)

A/N: Sorry for the delay. I made a mashup with an idea of @warriorprincesszelda and a lovely anon’s one. Enjoy.

‘I’ve spent every day of my life dedicated to praying! I’ve pleaded to the spirits tied to the ancient gods… And still the holy powers have proven deaf to my devotion’.

‘Please, just tell me… What is it? What’s wrong with me?!’

‘Nothing. You are perfect just as you are’.

Those were the words he should have let out of his mouth that day.

But he didn’t. Link thought it was improper due to his position as appointed knight.

Instead, he let her cry on his shoulder, silently containing her.

The vague image of the past flashed through his head as they made a break at the Spring of Power. Zelda thought it would be a good idea to detour a little and make a pause for a picnic, check on the creatures registered on the compendium and materials gathered on the way, and - why not? - a splash on the spring to placate the heat.

‘There are many items I don’t have yet’, Zelda frowned, lying face down on the stone floor, dripping wet in her underwear, swiping the screen. ‘It’s a never ending task’.

‘No one told you it would be easy’, Link handed her a couple of rice balls. ‘Research on an empty stomach is useless’.

Zelda sat down, and devoured the meal. Her eyes fixed on the Goddess’ statue.

‘I felt so miserable back then’. She tucked a strand of damp hair behind her ear. ‘You were so kind to me’.

‘I wish I could have done more’, Link scooted next to her, putting a blanket on her shoulders. ‘I just held you’.

‘It was more than enough to make me understand you cared’. She blushed, pulling the blanket closer to her body. ‘You hadn’t escorted me to a spring before’.

He nodded.

She had almost crumbled in his arms, sobbing out of sheer impotence. Link held her by the shoulders.

She felt so tiny and frail; the weight of her fate slowly crushing her, but still not giving up - she went back into the water and kept praying for an hour or so.

He tried to forget with all his might the softness of her skin, the curve of her neck and shoulders highlighted by her ceremonial dress, and the shivers she had when his fingers accidentally grazed her bare back.

No. Those weren’t proper thoughts for the Princess’ appointed knight. He had to keep an adequate distance - no feelings allowed, since the physical barrier had been breached already - and protect her at all costs.

That goal was easier from that day on, for Link had not realized yet she had already gotten under his skin.

‘Zelda, look!’, Link jumped from his place, catching something in his hands, ‘get your slate!’

'A Summerwing butterfly!’ - she snapped fast as lightning pictures of it - 'I didn’t have this one! It’s beautiful!’

Link let go of the insect, and Zelda smiled as it flew away from them.

'I’ll get dressed’, she started gathering her clothes, 'We should be moving on’.

'Nope’, Link started taking off his boots and shirt, 'first one in the water eats all the fruitcake!’

He ran, and jumped to make a cannonball dive.

'Scoundrel!’ - Zelda ran to reach him, full of laughter- 'You’ll pay!’

They returned to the road hours later, soaked through and through, with a picture of them at the spring, full of smiles.

what soonyoung deserves: a trillion love songs + poems written for him, a book thicker than harry potter and the order of the phoenix on how wonderful and gorgeous he is, his name written on the moon, his own galaxy far away from this ugly world that doesn’t deserve him, my left leg, and an unlimited free supply of frozen yogurt

all I can give him: a blog dedicated to him, some lq gfxs and a retweet on twitter

Nora - Jaebum

“I can’t believe you lost her! I trusted you!” Jaebum’s voice boomed at you and you never felt so little as a young adult.

“I didn’t think she’d run out,” You mumbled. “I thought that it’d be a good idea to leave the front door open and let the breeze in, but—”

“But it wasn’t a good idea after all, right?! Too late now!” He fumed and you swore you could see steam. “You’re irresponsible! How was I stupid enough to leave her with you?! I HATE YOU!”

Keep reading


Summary: Phil has a cheating boyfriend. Dan is a poet with a crush, facing an ultimatum.

Genre: University AU (poet!Dan)

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, swearing, many elements of angst, implied smut, vague implication of abuse (only two lines)

Word Count: 33.6k

Fic Playlist (ordered chronologically to follow the storyline as it progresses)

Read on ao3

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

idk why I feel that there's going to be a moment when everything's going to explode, like a raid with police and when they try to take Jimin JK is going to jump in his defense and someone is going to hurt him and Jimin can only hug him and cry while he whispers "Don't do this to me... just don't close ur eyes" and JK is gonna die in his arms saying something like "promise me that ur not gonna let anybody make u feel less... bc u are the most beutiful person that I've never saw" and I FEEL EVIL


>>Thank you for everyone that is reblogging my commission post!
The problems have not been resolved yet, but I have been getting help slowly, a few more commissions and paying study fees should be possible!

Some of you have been spamming it on your dashboards like mad, and I am so grateful to have ya’ll…mentioning each and everyone would be impossible (but I’m directing it to you too, thank you <3)

Special thanks to:

and thank you Roxy Maas for your donation <3 You have not requested a drawing, but let me dedicate this picture to you!

life update

I finished reply 1994 and it wasn’t as bad as i thought it would be!!!!!! reply 1988 is a classic and more funny imo, but this one is decent enough. i’m happy i watched it, even tho i ignored so many #important duties for the sake of lying down and having a reply 1994 marathon… anyways i also started working out today and i’m kind of crying because this is going to be HARD but i think its time i finally dedicated my energy to something i’ve wanted 2 do for a long time and will be good for me as well. Also i hope my mutuals are well and having a good summer without letting this fukin heat bother them… stay cool and drink lots of water u guys!!! If anyone reads this :D

also i need to improve my sat grades… my next test will be on august 26th and i’m panicking because i haven’t prepared at all and i probably should because my previous score was not enough to get into my goal schools….. shiet. Anyways…..


“Let him rest”

I’ve kinda been broken since chapter 84……. Erwin was my favourite and now Levi’s all alone. These two literally have destroyed me. Levi has lost his one special person now, which just kills me even more…………..

I just want Levi to join him now so that they can be happy and at peace together :(

This piece is dedicated to the best Commander possible. <3

Sorry, I’ve had to edit this like 5 times as I am struggling with quality



“Darling, you’ve got to take care of yourself.” You heard Loki walk into your room, leaving the door open. He sat down on the bed, pulling the covers down so he could see you but you squinted at the light and dug your face into the pillow. “How long has it been since you’ve opened the curtains and gotten a little sunlight? What if I open the window?” 

“No!” you groaned, just the thought of sunlight making your migraine worse.

“No sunlight, I understand. But if you won’t get some air, will you at least take a shower? Just a quick one?” he asked. You were silent as you listened to him go into the bathroom and start the water running. “Come on…” he spoke softly, pulling you gently up out of your lying position. He wrapped his arms around you and you started to cry. You weren’t sure why you were crying. You felt pathetic and worthless for lying in bed all day, not eating or drinking or showering but you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything else. You wondered why he stayed. Loki was a prince. He had amazing talents and power and wealth but there he was with you in your dusty, tiny apartment.You hadn’t showered in days. You hadn’t eaten in at least a day. You just cried. “Come on now, love. You’re alright. You have a shower and I’ll make something to eat. Would you like some tea or something?” 

You nodded slowly. You didn’t really want it but you knew he’d find some way to coax you into it if you refused. 

“That’s right.” he lead you to the bathroom and slowly peeled your dirty, sweaty clothes off your body before he helped you into the tub. He knelled by the tub and washed you slowly and gently, making sure to clean you well before he left you to soak in the water so he could make your breakfast.

You sat and stared at the milky water. You felt somewhat better but the smell of eggs cooking made you sick, thinking about eating them made it worse. It wasn’t long before Loki was back with a big shirt and his boxer shorts. He helped you out of the tub, moving slowly with you, not rushing a thing. He dried you off partially before helping you into to the clothes.

“I’m washing your sheets but I’ve put the spare ones on your bed.” he told you in the kitchen. You pushed the scrambled eggs around on your plate, having eaten half of them and a bite of toast, you felt sick so you sipped your tea. It was all so unappetizing. “You don’t have to eat it all. You did really well.” 

You couldn’t look at him. 

“It’s going to be okay, Y/N.” he assured you. You started crying again, not able to help it. Loki just put the dishes in the sink and carried you like a child back to the bedroom, laying you down in the soft fresh sheets. He slipped into bed beside you, letting you get as close as you wanted before he wrapped his arms around you and held you in his warmth. 

“Thank you, Loki.” 

“You don’t have to thank me, my love. It’s alright.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too, Y/N…” Loki nuzzled into you, holding you close to him and pulling you closer.  

Also, this imagine is dedicated to my buddy @illfightya because she is such a kind, beautiful human being who is so full of vibrancy and love and she makes my life a great deal more enjoyable than it was a little while ago. I love you, Lil.