let me be your left hand

holdup-holdon  asked:

Hello! I don't draw, at all, by I used to paint on canvas and I stopped a while ago. I've been struggling with depression and as a way to figure this shit out I would very much like to get back in touch with my artistic side. I'm just wondering is you have any tips/tutorials for someone who never drew anything ever (and is also left handed if that's important)

Being left handed isn’t important unless you use leaking/inky pens that smudge easily. I have spent a while thinking about this one because I know that depression is a very serious subject.

Something that I have learned from posting art on here for a couple of years is that we should draw for no one but ourselves (commissions aside) Never let the pressure of letting people see your drawings/paintings get to you because it’s something we do for our own enjoyment. One of the few things that gets me down on this website is people who think they are entitled to my drawings. I’ll often get comments on a drawing of a group of characters that are like “why didn’t you draw this character too?” which is annoying because obviously I didn’t draw them because I didn’t want to. Or a serious hatred of mine “their hair colour is a couple of shades different to what I personally imagined so you are obviously wrong”. People can be really shit man so if your depression has anything to do with that, work on trying to block out the people that will judge and be nasty about your art.

Now drawing is fun, it isn’t supposed to be perfect all the time, I recommend getting a sketchbook for only basic, basic sketches. It is so freeing to have something to just sribble in and not have to make things finished pieces in.

I have a couple tutorials here from myself

and I am also going to leave some links to my favourite speedpaint channels on YouTube, as well as my own one. I pick up half my techniques from watching speedpaints.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiBeFeUwilbKnT-z4X4CD4g

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLEVrhumRsK67JkP3G4w5cQ

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCo0dAKk_7dXBNwYPgD2v7Zw

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzni_F_Z4IUJr77GVw3Z-ZQ

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWgMcluGLnaVpCWmscaFs_Q

https://www.youtube.com/user/Jelopiful

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCWzPFhNUBhTHG_cJ-8tr57w

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6-8SFOmgrIrAiDdF8GrFzQ

https://www.youtube.com/user/LarrivaArt

I really really hope this was helpful!!

But if I hold your hand,
I’ll never let go
and if I look into your eyes,
I’ll never look away.
So I warn you to stay away
And I try to push you away
Because you just might
leave me one day.
Then I’ll be left wishing
I could’ve held you
for one more day,
Playing the lyrics that
remind me of you on replay.
And then I’ll blame
myself for letting you stay
Only regretting that I
didn’t beg you to stay,
Only regretting that I
that I let you slip away.
—  I.m.
@drowning-at-3am
It seems like Victor enjoys Yuuri's reaction when he's getting a liiittle too close for comfort to Yuuri?????

But after a while Yuuri would be so used it wouldn’t phase him at all

Victor: *taking Yuuri’s face and hand in his hands* Let’s get to know each other a little better
Yuuri: Victor Nikiforov. I know the exact location, shape, and size of the freckle on the underside of your left asscheek. What more is there to know?


Victor: *walks into the kitchen completely naked except for skates on* ♫oh yuuuuuuuuuuriiiii♫
Yuuri: *rolling his eyes* Jesus Victor. Phichit, Chris, Yurio, and Beka will be here for dinner any minute. Now unless you want me to burn this food you’ll go back to our room and get dressed immediately
Victor: *grumbling and sighing* ….i don’t even know why they’re coming…it’s just Chris’s birthday. geez..
Yuuri: *yelling down the hall* AND DONT YOU DARE SCRAPE UP THIS WOOD FLOOR WE JUST GOT REDONE BY DRAGGING YOUR FEET


Victor: can you show it to me soon Yuuri?? Can you show me your true eros???
Yuuri: I have like 4 times in the past 2 hours but if you wanna go again… *starts pulling his shirt off* alright then


Victor: *comes up behind him and grabs his waist* well good morning my sexy little katsudon
Yuuri: *turns around and whispers in Victor’s ear* you haven’t brushed your teeth yet have you?????


Victor: Yuuri, do you have any suggestons? Something that would excite me?
Yuuri: *grins slyly*
Victor: What did you think just now?
Yuuri:  well, quite a few things *whispers in his ear*
Victor: *blushes like mad* and… y-you would wear the-
Yuuri: al. ready. wearing. it.

I tried waking myself up, I tried waking myself up to the reality that you’re not mine anymore. I tried shaking myself up knowing that I won’t be able to touch you like before. Whenever I see the things in my room, I remember you. The 3 A.M. conversations, telling me that you love me with all your heart, that you won’t leave me. Those bedtime cuddles, letting me know that I’m not alone and that I’m safe. I tried not to cry, for you don’t want to see me crying. Now, I am trying to forget everything. I’ll try to be an amnesiac person for you left me aching, searching for you. You left my body with the touch of your hands. You left my heart with your name mark on it. I tried everything, I tried to let you go, but I can’t. I tried not to love you anymore.
—  ms-pseudonym, I Tried
Stay for the night

So… I had this idea earlier today and I’ve been working on it since 3PM. I hope you guys enjoy it and please let me know what you think! Lots of love, B xx

The house is empty and silent, much different than when you first arrived and the last bottles of beer and wine have been tossed in the bin just outside of Harry’s kitchen. You’ve managed to tidy things up a bit, make the house less messy than when his drunk guests left almost half an hour ago and now, after washing your hands from the sticky remnants of beer that got all over them while you cleaned up, you can finally try and find him and bid your goodbyes.

When you do find him, he’s sitting on his couch, legs spread open and a hand resting on his tummy, his head tipped back and resting against the back of the couch, a frown on his forehead and his lips pressed in a tight line - if you didn’t know better, you’d say he’s fighting nausea but you know the truth. You know he’s just about to pass out and sleep for the rest of the night on his couch and the only thing he’s waiting for is for you to leave - he’s too much of a gentleman to let you just leave without saying goodbye.

Smiling, you stand between his legs, one knee resting on the small bit of the couch that’s available and you lean forward, hand reaching for the curls that fall across his forehead, your fingers pushing it back in a slow rub against his scalp and he hums in appreciation of the gesture.

“Everyone’s gone.” You inform him, thumb smoothing across the frown lines on his forehead and he relaxes under your touch, his face turning softer, his lips opening around a sigh of contentment. “I’ve cleaned up so you don’t have to do it tomorrow.”

“Didn’t have to.” He says and you can see his sleepy green eyes open to glare at you, but the effect of his intended angry stare is just a grumpy and pouty, too sleepy to look menacing stare. “‘M a grown man, can do my own cleaning.”

“Know you are…” You giggle, cupping his face in one of your hands and rubbing your thumb across his pouty lips. “Just wanted to help.”

Keep reading

Blue– every oversized hug playing off memories of rain kissing away summer plays, these weighted reflections slicing book marks into greeting cards. I know what drowning alone feels like, darling, it isn’t a metaphor, but I still miss you most by the ocean. Heat– blushing the color of I miss you, your hands read sonnets to the stars and we’re still making wishes like we’re light enough to hold down that red balloon– I didn’t mean to let you go. Promises– bones break in more chapters than hearts, you tell me you love me and all my thoughts start to feel light. but you love the purity of rain, the obligation to burn in winter, the pastel of spring, and I’m not calm in nature. Red– you left a meteor near every love letter signed with your lipstick, I can feel the beginning of time right between our first greetings. We went wrong when we thought that falling in love this soon would be right, so I write about it. I write you into every summer that requires the heart to break near an empty bottle of red wine, sometimes love hurts, but most of the time… we just can’t get enough. Flash– gone just like that, we used to talk to one another like we were the last ones to love this bad, rumor has it that my heart still thinks about you when I’m holding other people. Darling, the rumors are fucking true. And I can fall in love with new people, but living in the moment is just a tease when we cross by one another on the streets as just passerby strangers with nothing to say, who is this person that I used to know? Just more fool’s gold, just more fool’s gold… i didn’t mean to hurt you then, i don’t mean to sulk over this, but i’m still somewhat in love with you. Post Script– seal these goodbyes with that infamous laugh of yours, the kind of laugh that makes people wonder about the joke, the kind of soul that makes people want to relearn the alphabet of love just to spell your fucking name and get it right the first time. No more P.S. I love you, just a P.S. I miss you. No more P.S. I left a letter for you, just a P.S. maybe we’ll meet again some day. No more P.S. I had a nice day with you, just a P.S. I wish that it didn’t have to hurt so bad, but maybe if we were more honest, more loyal, more open… they say that lovers mirror one another, do you think our shadows still hold one another when no one is looking and the moon is out? Does your skin miss my touch? Does your heart feel warm when someone mentions my name? Do we still love the same from years ago? Probably not, but the thought of you is the perfect definition for bittersweet. We used to be a thousand origami serendipities, but now we’re just burning at the mouth of a shooting star still trying to grant wishes for things that once were. Love– you were enough, you were always going to be enough.
—  The Ate & The Bunso
Signs as deep TØP lyrics

Aries: The ghost of you is close to me, I’m inside- out

Taurus: You’re dead, ‘Cause how could you sleep at a time like this

Gemini: I ain’t the same, And my name became, A new destiny to the grave

Cancer: Get up 'Cause the world has left you lying on the ground

Leo: It will not let me sleep, guess I’ll sleep when I’m dead.

Virgo: Don’t wanna give you all my pieces, don’t wanna hand you all my troubles

Libra: We’re all diseased, you hold the key

Scorpio: Take the pain, ignite it, Tie a noose around your mind

Sagittarius: No one else is dealing with your demons

Capricorn:No one looks up anymore

Aquarius: There is no distraction to mask what is real

Pisces: I put socks on my feet, just so that my soul won’t fall through my toes

(A rough) Translation of the new SKAM part ‘Pride’


Text message to Even:
Hi, I’ve been washing stairs for 6 hours and am dying of ODW overdose. What did you do today? It was nice seeing you yesterday, wanna hang out?

E: Hello my little friend! Hi!

I: Hey

E: I have a small prize for you since you were so good and paid your rent today!
I: You have a prize for me?

E: Yes. You want it?

I: Uh, sure.

E: Okay, I’ll let you choose a hand.

I: Uhh, right.

E: Choose left.

I: Then I’ll take the left..!

E: Voila! For you.

I: Oh, an air purifier..! Funny.

E: Yeah, it’s one of those with a nice smell of lavender, which I thought you could have here in your room..

I: Thank you very much.

E: ..in case you’ll have that…guy..that guy Even over again. Or whatever his name was.

Eskild and Isak in unison: Uhm..

I: Eskild.

E: Yes?

I: I guess I can tell you that..there’s kind of a…thing, between Even and me. We’re…uh, fooling around.

E: Really? That’s…That’s  so cool, Isak. Hey, it’s absolutely fantastic.

I: You’re not surprised.

E: Isak, the first time I met you, you were sitting by yourself in a gay bar at 02:00 in the morning and you didn’t want to go home.

I: I’ve told you I didn’t know it was a gay bar. (pause) But it doesn’t mean that I’m gay.

E: No, I mean, it doesn’t really matter. The most important thing is that you’ve found someone you like.

I: There’s nothing wrong in being gay, I’m just not like..gay gay.

E: Okay, how do you mean?

I: No, you know, like you.

E: Okay? And..how am I?

I: You do understand what I mean. You speak openly about sucking dick and Kim Kardashian and lavender. I mean, I totally respect that you take that whole ’gay package’ all the way, but it’s just..like, I’m not like that.

E:Like, I’m not trying to go all out with any ’gay package’. I’m only trying to be myself, Isak.

I: Yeah, god, I understand. I didn’t mean to…Of course you are just being yourself. What I mean is it seems that…everyone associates being gay with  being that way. And that’s kind of a bummer, for those who are not like that. So it’s not like I’m gonna use mascara or tights or go all Gay Pride just because I like Even.

E: Okay, let me..tell you one thing about these people you don’t what to be associated with, Isak. About the people who have put on tights and mascara and gone out to fight for the right to be themselves. These are people who’ve, up through the years, chosen to stand their ground even while being harassed, experienced hatred, who’ve been assaulted and killed. And it’s not because they are so extremely keen on being different, but because they would rather die than be someone they’re not. That, Isak…takes courage on such a completely different level than what most people are able to understand. And I.. I believe that before you’ve fought that battle yourself, before you have had the guts to stand up for who you are, you should be really fucking careful about putting yourself above Gay Pride.

I: I didn’t mean to put myself above it.

E: Yeah. Yeah, Isak, you did. (Pause) And now I don’t really feel like talking to you any more, so now you can…sit here and think about what I’ve told you.

Text message from Even:
Hi. It was nice seeing you too. I don’t know, but maybe things are going a bit too fast..I know that it’s my fault, but I need some time, I’m sorry.


(ODW = Operation Day’s Work, look it up I don’t have the energy to explain..!)

Stay

Originally posted by geezerwench

Originally posted by mrstane

Request: Imagine your Jax’s best friend and your back in town and he begs you to stay.


I decided to make this long instead of breaking it into parts, its 10,000+ words, let me know what you all think!

 Sorry I’m not writing as often,but please be patient and I’ll get there. Thank you for all your support. I hope you enjoy this. xx

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jackson Nathaniel Teller get your ass back here right now!”
Jax froze midstep and hung his head whilst you fought to keep the smug smile off your face as you slowly crept forwards.
“You too, (Y/F/N), (Y/L/N)!”
A groan left your lips and slowly in sync, both of you turned to face the wrath of Gemma Teller.
She stood in the doorway of her house, hands on her hips, elbows out, and an angry flint in her eyes.
Jax sighed and nudged you with his elbow.
You exchanged a dreaded glance with him and together you walked towards his mother.
“Either of you little shits wanna tell me why i have three missed calls from the principal?”
Gemma said, her voice stern and her eyes burnt through the both of you.
Even on a good day, you knew better than to mess with Gemma, and today was definitely not a good day.
“It was nothing, Gem.” You said and fluttered your eyelashes pleadingly, hoping that your puppy-dog effect might rub off on her. Of course it didn’t work. This was Gemma Teller, after all.
Gemma raised her eyebrows at you and her gaze lingered on you before she glanced at her son.
“Jackson?”
Jax sighed and rubbed his hand through his thick blonde hair.
“It was nothing Ma. Just some kids getting smart. We handled it.”
Gemma stared him down with pursed lips till he looked at his feet and Gemma leant against the door frame, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Who threw the first punch?” She asked.
You looked at Jax and he met your eye before his infamous smirk spread across his lips.
“She did.” Jax said and nodded towards you.
His mother glanced you over and reached her hands towards you.
She grasped her hands either side of your face and leant close before pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“Good girl.” She said.
You grinned and Jax laughed beside you.
“Now get your ass home before I have your parents calling me too.”
You nodded and waved goodbye to Gemma.
Jax threw his arm over your shoulder and walked along side you as you walked down the driveway., the afternoon sun shining down on you between the trees.
“I told you she wouldn’t be mad.” Jax said and you scoffed and laughed.
“You think I was worried? You shoulda seen your face!” You teased and Jax laughed too.
Both of you walked along the pavement as the sun shined down on you, teasing each other and laughing as he walked you home.
Eventually you stopped outside your house and you could both see your father, peering out at you through the gap in the curtains.
You rolled your eyes and turned to Jax.
“See you tomorrow?”
“Me and Ope will pick you up.” He confirmed.
You nodded and smiled at your best friend and he smiled back, the same smile that made your heart swoon.
And you walked into your house, leaving a sixteen year old Jax Teller on the street, watching after you and hoping that maybe one day his best friend would be his old lady.

You had grown up in Charming, born and raised and you loved the little town and all its unique quirks.
The sun was always shining, the weather was always warm and the towns people were always smiling. Well, almost always..
It was the roar of motorcycles flooding down Main Street that changed their faces from happy and content smiles to disapproving frowns and glares.
The Sons of Anarchy had always done their part in Charming, helping out at fundraisers and the town knew they could rely on the club when times got tough. Yet they often seemed to forget that, and seemed to focus on the danger that emitted from them.
Your father was one of those people, and he had been furious the first day he saw Jax Teller and Opie Winston walk you home from school.
He had warned you your whole life to stay away from ‘boys like that’, and he had lived his whole life in fear of the Sons of Anarchy.
They were gunrunners, criminals, outlaws and killers and he didn’t want his precious daughter to be mixed up with such horrid people.
But when you were seven years old and the boys in your class had stolen your backpack and had been tossing it to each other while you cried, it had been Jax and Opie that had stopped them and made sure no one ever messed with you again.
And from that day on the three of you had been your own little gang.
Your father still didn’t approve and you weren’t sure he ever would, but you didn’t care.
Because when you were with them you didn’t feel like a little girl that couldn’t defend herself.
When you were with them you weren’t afraid of anything.
And you had grown to be tough and strong, after Gemma took you under her wing.
You didn’t have a motherly figure in your life after your mom had passed away and your father had never even dreamt of being with another woman. But Gemma showed you how to be a girl that no one would mess with and you would be eternally grateful to her for transforming you from an innocent lamb into a lioness.
It was only inevitable that you’d fall in love with Jax at some point.
He was carefree, the prince of Charming, and anywhere he walked he left a trail of chaos and girls practically drooling over him.
He was charming and funny, smart, caring, ridiculously handsome and confident and he was fiercely loyal.
You were close with Opie too, of course, but it was Jax that made your heart skip a beat and when he was around somehow you struggled to find words, as the thoughts of him filled your mind.
He was your best friend, the love of your life, the prince of Charming. And you, you were the Girl Next Door. Well, technically you lived down the street, but you knew you would never be good enough for him, that you’d never be his princess.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your cheeks were stiff from dried tears and you stared at the sky, watching the sun slowly fade into the horizon.
Opie passed the joint to you and you took a long drag before passing it to Jax, who sat on the other side of you.
The three of you sat in silence, unsure of the right words to say.
Honestly you didn’t want them to say anything. You didn’t want anyone to say anything.
Nothing anyone said could change what had happened.
Your father was dead. You had been the one to find him, seated at the kitchen table, gun in his hand and a bullet hole through his head.
He had never really recovered after losing your mother and he had struggled raising you alone. Still, you never thought he would leave you. At least not like that anyway.
The smoke filled your lungs but your body remained numb.
And so the three of you sat in silence, on the concrete ledge of the roof of the funeral home, dressed all in black as you mourned the loss of your father.
Jax hadn’t left your side since you’d found your father, dead in the kitchen and you knew both himself and Opie had been uncomfortable, attending the funeral of your father, a man who had disapproved, no, hated them.
But they had decided to attend, to support their best friend.
Jax knew what it was like to lose a father and you were eternally grateful for his support.
They had stood either side of you as you read the passage in front of your fathers friends and family, and they had sat beside you while you sobbed over the freshly covered grave.
But now your tears had dried out and the reality was sinking in.
Your mother was gone, your father was gone, and you had no family left.
At least not in Charming.
That was why your Aunty was shipping you off, forcing you to move across the country to live with her.
“When do you leave?” Jax asked quietly, his voice breaking the silence.
You glanced at him and met his gaze, his blue eyes filled with sorrow.
“Tomorrow.” You whispered, your voice cracking slightly.
Jax nodded and wrapped his arm around your shoulder and you rested your head on his shoulder.
Opie squeezed your hand gently before standing and heading downstairs to find a drink, leaving the two of you alone.
For a while you sat in silence, his arm around you as you stared out at the horizon.
Everything seemed so fragile, so small. Every moment was fleeting, passing by and you weren’t sure if any of it really mattered anymore.
“I love you, (y/n).” Jax whispered.
A sad smile formed on your lips and you nodded against him.
“I know.” You whispered.
You knew he loved you, as a friend.
But even now, as you sat at your fathers funeral, the only thing you wanted was Jax. For him to love you as more than a friend.
But you were leaving.
And he was staying here.
The rest of the night you stayed on the roof, until the early morning and at some point you had fallen asleep, wrapped in each others arms. A perfect way to spend your last night in Charming, wrapped in the arms of the boy were hopelessly in love with.

8 YEARS LATER

“Back in black! I hit the sack, Ive been too long Im glad to be back.”
You sung at the top of your lungs as the music poured out of the speakers and your car sped along the familiar roads.
It was only fitting to play such a song as you drove, heading for the town you’d left so many years ago.
You never had made it back to Charming after you had left that morning so many years ago.
Something had always stopped you. Maybe the emptiness that filled your heart every time you thought of your father and the way he had passed, or the heartache you felt when you thought of Jax, imagining him with random girls.
You had no right to be jealous really, it had been eight years since you’d left and you’d kept in contact at first, but eventually you had drifted apart.
The last you heard was that Jax and Opie were prospecting, but it had been years since you’d heard from either of them and you wondered if they’d still be around,or  if they’d even remember you.
You thought about them often, remembering the mischief the three of you used to get up to. the nights you would spend staring up at the sky, or the afternoons you’d spend on the back of their bikes, speeding along the streets with the wind blowing in your hair.
But you had a new life now, a good job, a good apartment. You didn’t have a boyfriend but you didn’t particularly want one.
You were fiercely independent and you did well on your own. There was even talk of a promotion coming up and you knew you were in the perfect position for it.
It had taken you by surprise when you’d received the phone call from the council in Charming, informing you that the tenants of your fathers house had left it in a mess.
He had left you the house in his will and you had become the official owner when you turned 21, but back then the thought of returning to your hometown had been too painful, so you’re Aunt had helped you hire an agency and rent the property out.
But it was time to sell it. There was no point in leaving it with strangers when you could benefit from selling it. You could even use the money to buy your own house in the city, or open your very own business. It was time to move on.
And as you drove a mixture of emotions flooded through you.
Nerves, excitement, fear.
You didn’t know what to expect and one part of you was praying you would run into Jax, and reunite just like old times while the other part of you prayed you wouldn’t.
You knew he would have an old lady by now and you weren’t sure how you felt about it.
He would always be the one that got away, and you don’t think you could truly ever be over the feelings you had for Jackson Teller.
You car sped along the road and before you knew it you passed the familiar ‘Welcome to Charming’ sign.
The town hadn’t changed much and you drove through Main Street, eyeing the familiar shop fronts and the new ones too.
Charming certainly had a certain ‘charm’ about it and no matter where in the world you went, it would always be home.
You knew you couldn’t put it off much longer and you finally turned into the street on which you had lived so many years ago.
You drove past the picket fences and the perfectly trimmed hedges, the front lawns with kids playing outside, under the sprinklers as they laughed in the sun.
Your heart leapt into your throat as you drove past the Teller house and you couldn’t help but glance at the half dozen bikes parked out front.
You gulped and gripped the steering wheel til your knuckles turned white and you drove on and eventually you turned into the driveway of your fathers house.

Birds chirped outside the window and you groaned.
You never had been a morning person but last night you had gotten barely any sleep.
It was hard for you, to be back in this house and the memories had haunted you all night long. It still smelt the same. At least you thought it did and waves of nostalgia kept hitting you, desperate for a time when this was your home.
You sighed and rolled out of bed and rubbed your eyes before yawning and stretching your arms.
Of course, you hadn’t thought about bringing any home appliances with you.
You had only packed a few bags of clothes, unsure of how long you were intending to stay for.
But you’d forgotten that the house was empty, including no furniture, no cutlery, and no fucking coffee.
You rummaged through one of your bags and yanked out a towel and headed for the shower.
The local diner used to make the best coffee in town and you hoped that that was one thing that hadn’t changed over the years.
After a quick shower you tugged on your ripped skinny jeans and pulled an old band t-shirt over your head before shaking out your damp hair and letting it fall down your back.
There was no time for makeup, you needed coffee desperately so you grabbed your sunglasses and your keys and headed for your car.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The diner had kept its word; it still had the best coffee in town.
But honestly, it could have been the worst, you were too tired to notice. You only craved the hit caffeine.
The old woman behind the counter had remembered you and had insisted on feeding you a full breakfast, the Charming Classic, complete with two eggs, toast, hash browns, bacon, sausages, and grilled tomatoes.
By the time you’d finished your plate you could barely more, you were that full and you slid out of the booth before paying for your meal at the counter.
By now the sun was out and the heat hit you in the face as you walked out of the diner, the bell on the door chiming behind you.
The street was already alive with the hustle and bustle of the morning.
You glanced around the street and smiled to yourself as you looked over the hanging flowers and the store fronts. It was good to be home.
Across the street Jax pulled off his gloves and stuffed them into his pockets.
He lifted his hands, littered with rings and removed his helmet.
The wind blew his blonde hair and he slicked it back.
Chibs and Tig were to his left and Juice was to his right and they too removed their helmets and placed them on their bikes.
Main Street was already buzzing with people and Jax ignored the nervous yet curious looks coming from the locals.
He scanned the street, looking for Hale, when a girl caught his eye.
For a moment, his breath caught in his throat as he looked at her.
Her back was facing him and her hair hung loosely down her back. There was something about her, he felt like he knew her, but he needed her to turn around.
“Jax! Let’s go, brother.” Chibs called and Jax snapped back to attention.
“Yeah.” Jax said and stood straight.
He followed his brothers up the street but he couldn’t help but look back.
And as he did, the girl turned flashing her face only for a moment and Jax froze in place.
But almost as quickly as he saw her, she was gone, turning a corner into a store.
“You okay man? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Juice asked with an eyebrow arched.
Jax swallowed and nodded slowly.
“Something like that.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ever since you were young you had always had a habit of twiddling your thumbs when you were nervous. That, and blinking your eyelashes like an idiot.
And right now your thumbs were going wild and you were practically chewing your bottom lip off. To say you were nervous was an understatement and you wanted to start your car, turn around and drive away from here.
But you couldn’t put it off any longer.
You knew deep down you wanted to see him, needed to see him.
But you were filled with dread, knowing that a man like Jackson Teller wasn’t going to be single.
You wanted desperately to see that smile once more but you weren’t sure if you could face his girlfriend. Or worse, his old lady.
You sighed and pulled the keys out of the ignition.
It was now or never.
Before you could change your mind you stepped out of your car and closed the door behind you.
Teller Morrow hadn’t changed much from what you remembered and you glanced around the lot, taking in the sight of it.
Several bikes were lined up and you gulped as you looked at them warily.
It wasn’t too late to turn around.
There weren’t any members outside, and no one had seen you yet.
You could just turn around and walk right out of here.
You were debating your options in your head and you barely noticed when a car pulled in behind you. It was only when the door slammed shut that you turned around.
Your heart leapt into your throat and you stared wide eyed at Gemma Teller.
She stood in her class in ensemble: jeans and a black low cut top, flashing her cleavage and her scar. Her dark hair framed her face and she wore her usual large sunglasses.
You watched her as she shifted her hand bag on to her shoulder. She hadn’t seen you yet, or recognised you at least and your heart was beating rapidly.
“Hey Gem.” You said.
You cursed yourself, knowing how nervous your voice sounded.
Gemma glanced at you and lifted her glasses on top of her head.
“Well well, long time no see.”
You smiled and Gemma walked towards you, arms open wide and you embraced her hug. She had always been the closest thing you had to a motherly figure after your mom died and you hadn’t realised quite how much you had missed her after all these years.
She smelt the same as she used to, perfume and cigarettes and you hugged her tightly.
“What are you doing here, sweetheart?” She asked you as you parted and she placed her hands on her hips.
You ran your hand through your hair and glanced around the lot.
“I’m selling dads house, so I’m back in town for a while.” You told her truthfully.
You hadn’t intended to stay more than a week, but you had missed this town and the more time you were spending here the less rush you were in to leave.
Gemma nodded as her eyes ran over you.
You were just a teenager when you left, awkward and rebellious. But now you were a fully grown woman and your body had definitely filled out. You had curves now, in all the right places and you looked a hell of a lot different to when you left. But your eyes were the same, always sparkling and you still had the familiar traits Gemma remembered.
You had broken her sons heart when you left and she knew you probably had no idea of the hurt you had caused that boy.
“Well lets go inside. I, for one, could use a drink.” She winked at you and you grinned back.
Gemma linked her arm through yours and together you walked towards the clubhouse.
You had seen the number of bikes outside and your heart was beating rapidly in your chest.
You weren’t sure what type of welcome to expect.
Gemma must have sensed your nerves and she squeezed your arm gently before pushing open the door.

The smell hit you almost instantly and you felt a wave of nostalgia wash over you.
Alcohol, ciggarettes, and cheap perfume were the essence of the Clubhouses very own signature fragrance and you breathed it in deeply.
Your eyes scanned the room, taking in sight the empty table and sofas and the empty bar.
“They’re in Church.” Gemma told you and you nodded.
You were thankful you weren’t walking into a room full of Sons but now your nerves were back, knowing it was only those wooden doors that separated you from Jax. This was his territory, his home, and you were invading it. You weren’t sure if he’d even want to see you, let alone have you in his clubhouse.
“You wanna beer?” Gemma asked you.
“Please.” You nodded and smiled, following her to the bar.
Your eyes continued to scan the room and you looked the wall of framed mugshots, standing proud.
A smile formed on your lips as you ran your eyes over the familiar faces, and the unfamiliar ones.
You saw Opie’s and you smiled, looking at the man he had grown into.
The other faces passed you by as you looked at each of the frames and you gulped once you found Jax’s photo, sitting proud beneath the wooden SAMCRO sign.
He hadn’t changed much at all really, although you weren’t sure how old this photo was.
But his hair was still long, and blond, and those blue eyes of his pierced through you. You could recognise those eyes anywhere.
“How longs it been?”
Gemma broke your thoughts and you turned back to her, accepting the beer she was holding out.
“Eight years.” You said.
“Lot of shits changed in eight years.” Gemma said.
You smiled and nodded.
“I know.” You told her. Gemma had always had a way with words and you couldn’t help but feel there was a famous Gemma Teller lecture on the way.
But instead, she surprised you.
“He misses you.”
You looked at her, her dark eyes watching you closely and you knew she wasn’t lying.
But before you could speak you heard a door open and you turned almost instantly.
You didn’t recognise the first man that entered the room, and surely if you had known him you would recognise that mohawk. But his soft face was unfamiliar and  you only recognised the kutte on his shoulders.
He nodded towards Gemma and looked at you curiously before moving into the room, the rest of the club filing in behind him.
“Holy shit!”
Opie practically ran across the room, nearly bowling his old man over in the process and you  moved towards him, unable to keep a grin off your face.
He wrapped his arms around you and swept you off your feet into a tight bear hug.
You laughed as he squeezed you and eventually he placed you back on the ground, where he towered over you.
“Look at you, Ope! Your huge!” You said teasingly and squeezed his large biceps.
He laughed loudly and nudged you.
“Never thought I’d see your face round here again.” Opie said, his tone still light yet the both of you knew how much he meant his words.
You shrugged his comment off and grinned up at your old friend.
It had been years since you’d seen Opie and except the beard he hadn’t seemed to change all that much. His eyes seemed tired, and you could tell he had seen pain but there was still that light that had been there so many years ago.
Silence fell between you but it wasn’t uncomfortable.
Eventually more men filled the room and you glanced around,  the butterflies simultaneously returning to your stomach.
And then you saw him.
He walked out of the clubhouse, his head hung low as he blew out a cloud of smoke and passed a joint back to one of his Brothers. He walked with the same kind of swag he walked with as a teen and your heart was almost beating out of your chest when he glanced up and met your gaze.
Blue eyes pierced through you and he froze for a moment, his mouth dropping open as he took in the sight of you.
The rest of the room could have been on fire and you wouldn’t have noticed, the only thing you were focused on was Jax.
Slowly, he began to move towards you, his eyes never leaving yours and you gulped.
Opie glanced between the two of you, sensing the nervous tension in the air and he chuckled lightly before shaking his head and walking to the bar, leaving you to reunite with Jax.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hey.”
Your voice was brittle, nervous but just that one word echoed through him.
For years he had dreamt of this day, dreamt  that one day you would return, and you would stand in this club house once more.
But it had always been just a dream. Jax knew you would have no intention of coming back to this town that haunted you with memories and as you stood before him he fought desperately with his mind, begging for it not to be playing a trick on him.
Begging for this to be real.
He moved closer and his eyes only left yours to glance over your body quickly.
You but your lip nervously and you fluttered your eyelashes. Not in a flirtatious way, but in a way that you had always done when you were nervous.
“You gonna just stare at her?” Opies voice boomed from across the room, followed by laughter.
You laughed too and suddenly Jax knew he wasn’t dreaming.
A grin broke across his cheeks and suddenly his arms were around you, engulfing you entirely into his body.
He lifted you off the floor and squeezed you and you buried your face in his neck, letting his scent fill your lungs and you breathed him in.
Eventually he placed you back on the floor and he stepped back to look at you once more.
His grin never left his face and you stared into his eyes.
“Your back.” He spoke.
You nodded, your eyes never failing to leave his gaze.
“Ye ganna introduce the lass, Jackie?” A voice called from across the room and both of you glanced towards the man who spoke, his wide grin almost distracting you from the scars across his cheeks.
Jax laughed and threw his arm over your shoulder.
Together you walked towards the men.
Their faces were friendly yet curious to see what kind of girl could get both Opie and Jax to react like that.
Jax introduced you to his club, firing off a list of names you would have to ask him to repeat later on.
“And this is (y/n), an old friend.” Jax beamed and nudged you.
You couldn’t help a blush rising to your cheeks as you nodded to the smiling faces.
They welcomed you with cheers as they raised their beers in your direction.
“Come on, let me get you a drink.” Jax said and you followed him to the bar.
Gemma still sat, watching you with an amused look on her face and as Jax approached she stood, smoothing down her shirt and her jeans before pressing a kiss to her sons cheek.
“I’ll leave you two kids to it.” She said with a wink before sauntering off outside.
Jax chuckled and shook his head before passing you a beer and gesturing for you to sit.
You obliged and slid onto one of the barstools before taking a sip.
“So what brings you back here?” Jax asked, his haze falling bak onto you and he looked at you with furrowed brows.
You licked your lips as you placed your beer on the counter and swiped a loose strand of hair out of your face.
“I had some trouble with the tenants in dads old place, so I thought it was probably time to sell it on.” You said.
Jax nodded and took a swig of his beer.
“So your not staying?” He asked.
You shook your head and smiled sadly.
“I don’t think I could.” You said.
Jax studied you closely and he sensed the pain in your voice.
It was still a struggle for you, even after all these years to be back in a town that held such painful memories and that was clear to him. Yet he still couldn’t help feeling disappointed.
It didn’t seem fair that you would leave again, after only just coming back into his life after so many years.
But he nodded understandingly.
“How are you anyway? Couldn’t help but notice your kutte.” You said.
Jax laughed and glanced down at the Vice President patch on his leather and nodded.
“Yeah, its a new addition.” He said proudly.
You sat at the bar for a while, reminiscing on the old times with Jax and Opie joined you for a while before heading home to see his family.
Eventually though it was time for you to head home and you stood and smoothed down your hair.
Jax walked you out and neither of you spoke as you headed for your car.
The night air was crisp and cool and you shivered slightly in the breeze.
Jax noticed and put his arm around your waist, pulling you into his warmth as you walked.
“When do you leave?” Jax asked quietly.
You stopped in front of tour car and looked at him with a shrug.
“Im not sure. Maybe a couple of weeks.” You answered.
Jax nodded and leant against the car as you opened the door.
“You should come by the club tomorrow night. We’re having a party.” Jax said.
You smiled at him and nodded.
“I’ll try to make an appearance.” You winked and Jax smirked back at you.
“It was really good to see you, (y/n).” Jax said quietly.
“It was good to see you too, Jax.” You smiled back.
From the conversations you’d had with him tonight it seemed he was single, no old lady.
But you hadn’t exactly asked outright so you didn’t want tog et your hopes up. Yet you couldn’t help the feeling of hope that crept into your mind.
It was silly, of course. You were leaving. But you couldn’t help but want Jax to feel the same way, and you wanted nothing more than to reach out and touch him.
But you didn’t.
Instead, you slid into the seat of your car, waved goodbye to Jax and drove away.
And just like he had all this years ago, Jax watched you drive off. Only this time he felt something had changed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was past 9pm by the time you got home the next day and after fumbling with your keys and flicking the lights on you dumped the load of paperwork onto the floor.
Who knew selling a house would be such a pain in the ass.
You had spent all day with a real estate agent, going over the property and discussing the market.
You had been grumpy all day, after getting barely any sleep yet again, and the last thing you wanted to do was get dressed and go to a SAMCRO party.
You walked around the living room and drew the curtains before sitting on the floor in the middle of the room and opening the carton of chinese food you had bought in the way home.
It probably wasn’t a good idea for you to go to the party anyway, you thought to yourself.
You were only in town to sell this damned house and it would only be a couple of weeks before you left again. It had been nice, seeing Jax again after yearning for him for so long.
But who were you kidding?
He wouldn’t feel the same way, especially not after so many years. And you were leaving.
There was no point in getting attached when it would just hurt more when you had to say goodbye again.
No, you would stay home. On the floor of an empty house eating chinese food.
You’d also bought a bottle of wine and you left the food on the floor as you walked to your bag and rummaged through it to find the bottle.
You pulled it out proudly, almost as if it was a newborn child, and you didn’t bother looking for glasses. You knew there was none.
So you opened the bottle and took a long gulp of wine.
Tonight you would enjoy your own miserable company.

You woke to a loud pounding on the door and you groaned as the room focused in front of you.
It was dark and you rubbed your eyes.
After drinking the bottle of wine and finishing your chinese, at some point you had passed out on the floor of the living room.
The pounding continued and you stumbled to your feet.
“Im coming!” You yelled. What time was it? The sun wasn’t up so it must be late, you thought.
Eventually you made your way to the front door and you swung it open.
Jax stood in the door way, the dark night illuminated by the moon shining down behind him.
“Good morning.” He said with a coy smirk on his face, as he glanced over your rumpled skirt and messy hair.
“What the fuck Jax? What time is it?” You asked and stifled a yawn.
“3.15.” He answered.
You groaned and leant against the doorway and wrapped your arms around yourself.
“What are you doing here?” You asked.
Gradually you began to wake up more and you suddenly felt self conscious under his gaze.
You were still dressed in your business skirt and shirt and your hair was a mess.
“You didn’t come to the party.” Jax answered. He glanced behind you, into the empty  house and noticed the bottle of wine and the empty food carton on the floor.
“Yeah, sorry Jax. I got home late.” You explained.
He nodded.
“Wanna go for a ride?”
“Its three in the morning Jax.” You groaned.
Hr laughed loudly and looked at you through his eye lashes as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cigarette.
“Never stopped you before,” He winked.
You sighed and stood straight.
“Let me get changed.” You said before shutting the door ad leaving him in the night as you walked to your bedroom.
What were you doing? You thought to yourself. You had not gone to that party to stay away from Jax. You didn’t want to complicate things. And here he was, on your doorstep in the middle of the night.
You pulled off your skirt and tugged on a pair of jeans before ripping iff your blouse and rummaging through your bags for a sweater.
Its just one ride. You told yourself, desperately trying to convince yourself that this wasn’t a bad idea.
Quickly you tugged on some socks and your boots before walking back to the front door.
You knelt by your bag and pulled out your keys before walking tot he front door, opening and closing it behind you.
The night was crisp and the faint smell of tobacco filled the air as Jax leant against his bike, puffing on  his cigarette.
The moonlight shone down on him and even in this light he was ridiculously handsome.
You locked the door and slid the keys into your pocket and as you approached him Jax tossed his cigarette to the ground.
He held out a helmet and you took it before tugging it down onto your head and buckling the strap.
You watched as he swung his leg over and sat on his bike before looking back at you, a mischievous spark in his eyes.
You couldn’t help the grin spreading over your face as you placed your hands on his shoulders and swung your leg over the bike and sinking down behind him.
You shifted your hands to bis waist and you clutched at the leather as he brought the bike to life, the loud roar ripping through the quiet night.
Jax turned back to you and you nodded, reassuring him.
Slowly you rolled out of your driveway and you wrapped your arms tighter around his waist and pressed your face against his back, leaning your body with his as he turned the corner.
Gradually his speed increased as you moved through your street and into the open roads and you let the scent of his leather fill your lungs.
The streets blurred past you as the bike roared through the night and you held on toJax tightly.
Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.

After an hour or so Jax pulled into a wooded area and rode slowly through the trees.
The track was familiar to you; it was where he used to bring you when you were young.
The area was surrounded by looming trees but it cleared out into a small opening and you had spent countless nights here, getting drunk with Opie and Jax, or simply lying on the ground and staring up at the stars.
The trees began to clear and Jax pulled the bike to a stop before killing the engine.
You swung your leg over first and lifted the helmet from your head before shaking your hair out and handing it back to Jax.
“This place hasn’t changed.” You said quietly. Your voice sounded delicate in the quiet of the night.
You couldn’t hear the roads from here, and the only sounds were the distant noises of animals and the light wind rustling through the leaves.
Jax followed you as you stepped over the grass and moved into the middle of the clearing, looking up through the opening in the trees and looking at the stars.
It was just as beautiful as you remembered.
You sat on the ground and Jax sat next to you.
Neither of you spoke for a while. You sat content in each others silent company.
“Why did you never come back?”
His words broke the silence and you struggled with your answer.
You glanced down at your hands in your lap and twiddled your thumbs.
“I couldnt.” Was all you said.
Jax nodded slowly and you sighed.
“It was too hard for me. After dad died I just couldn’t bare to bring myself back here.” You told him truthfully. “I was scared.”
You looked back up at the stars and admired their beauty.
“Did you want to? Come back?” Jax asked.
You turned to him and he met your gaze. Even in the dark light his blue eyes shone brightly and you smiled sadly.
“Everyday.” You whispered.
Jax studied you closely.
He reached his hand out and squeezed yours gently. The moment his hand touched yours you felt sparks shooting through your body.
His eyes locked on yours and he moved closer slightly. You weren’t sure if your heart had ever beat faster than it did in this moment.
As your heads slowly moved closer together you noticed everything about him. You noticed the slight speck of green in his blue eyes, barely big enough to notice. You noticed the small scar on his cheek and for a moment you wondered how he got it. You wanted to know everything about his life since you left,you wanted to know everything about this man that was right in front of you. But more than anything you wanted to feel his lips on yours.
Gradually his head moved closer to yours and you could feel the heat of his breath on your lips. You licked you lips nervously and glanced at his before looking back into his eyes.
Just as the loaning became almost unbearable Jax’s lips pressed against yours and the warmth of his mouth sent currents running through your body.
Your hands reached out and held either side of his face as his wrapped around your body and you whimpered slightly as his mouth moved in sync with yours.
Your lips moved in harmony with his and you ran your fingers through his thick hair, desperately clinging to him.
His mouth grew hungrier and he kissed you more fiercely now,exploring your mouth with his tongue. You could taste the cigarette and whiskey on his lips.
He gently pulled your body down till you were lying and he hovered his body over yours.
You opened your legs and Jax lay between them, his groin pressing against yours and you moaned softly at the weight of him on top of you.
Both of your breathing became more rapid as you made out on the grass like a couple of horny teenagers.
His fingers traced down your body and he gently slid them beneath your shirt and you whimpered softly as the coolness of his rings mixed with the warmth of your skin.
For a moment your lips parted and Jax smirked down at you before tracing his lips down your neck.
You arched your neck for him, allowing him to suck gently at your soft skin and you moaned once more.
His fingers traced further up your body and he cupped your breasts through the fabric of your bra.
You moaned and squirmed beneath him and Jax smirked as he lifted to his knees and tugged your shirt over your head.
Your hair splayed out around you messily and you looked at him through thick eye lashes.
A blush rose to your cheeks as he admired your body and gingerly you sat up and reached behind you to unclip your bra.
You met his gaze as you let the fabric fall from your skin and you tossed it onto the ground beside you before leaning back onto your eyebrows.
Jax licked his lips as his eyes explored your bare chest, and he was amazed that you could be covered in dirt and sweat and still smell and look like the best thing he’d ever seen, and he didn’t waste much time before leaning back over you.
He pressed a kiss to your lips once more before trailing them down your neck and across your chest.
Hr sucked gently as he moved, leaving a faint trail of bruises from your collarbone to your nipple.
You moaned as his tongue licked around your nipple and he sucked gently.
Jax growled at the sound of your whimpering beneath him and an urgency came over him.
His lips sucked rougher around your nipple now and his fingers fumbled with the button of your jeans.
Your fingers were in his hair, tugging at the strands gently.
Once he got your jeans unbuttoned he tugged them down your thighs quickly followed by your panties. He wasted no time in removing his own clothes and he hovered over you once more, his lips exploring your with an urgent hunger.
Your lips moved with his and you felt his fingers stroke through your wet folds and you opened your legs slightly wider, enjoying the feel of his hard cock on your inner thigh.
He works you with his fingers expertly, knowing just how to make you shudder and moan his name into the night.
He moves his fingers against you til your on the verge of your release when he stops and slides himself inside you, his hands moving to hold you by the hips gently.
He fills you slowly and you both moan as you stretch around him.
Slowly he rocks his hips against yours and it doesn’t take long til your begging for more.
His thrusts became rougher and harder and with each move he leaves you breathless.
The night is filled with the sound of your moans and his growls and his skin slapping against yours.
When you cum you scream his name as your walls clench around him and Jax growls as he finds his release, his hot seed filling you.
He slows his movements and gently slides out of you before collapsing to the ground beside you.
Both of you are panting heavily and he reaches for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours as you both catch your breath and stare up at the stars.

You pressed your cheek to his leather as he rode through the night, your fingers clutching at the leather around his waist.
You couldn’t quite explain the mixture of emotions that ran through your body as you rode.
Making love with Jax had been everything and more than you could have ever imagined and you were still coming down from that high.
You had both laid beneath the stars for a while, lying naked on the grass.
Jax had helped you dress yourself and plucked leaves from your ruffled hair.
Neither of you had spoken much, but it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable.
And as you drove closer back into town the reality of what had happened began to hit you in waves.
As the wind swept your hair out behind you a tear rolled down your cheek and you didn’t bother to wipe it away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Are you sure about this, (y/n)?” Your real estate agent asked you.
You rolled your eyes and smiled at him from across the desk.
“For the millionth time, I’m sure.” You told him.
“We could get more for the property if you wait til the report comes back. It wont take more than a week.” He told you, a hint of concern in his voice.
“I know, Jeremy. But I need the house sold, like now.”
“Alright, whatever you say (y/n).” Jeremy said and shuffled the papers on the desk.
“I’ll get the ads up and the paperwork sent off right away.”
You smiled and stood, smoothing down your skirt.
“Thank you.”
Jeremy stood too and walked towards the door of his office before opening it for you.
You lifted your handbag off the chair next to you and swung it on to your shoulder.
“I’ll be round this afternoon to put the ‘For Sale’ signs up.” Jeremy told you.
You smiled and thanked him before walking past him and out of the office.
As you walked you felt your handbag vibrate and you sighed as you pulled out your cell phone.
He was trying to call you, again.
You hit ignore.
That makes it eight missed calls from him. Since you’d woken.
You’d lost count of the amount of times you’d hit ‘ignore’ to Jax’s calls in the last few days.
The last thing you needed was to hear his ‘we’re better off as friends’ speech.
So you saved him the bother and you’d been ignoring his calls ever since he’d left your house that night.
The next morning you’d woken and headed straight to the office,determined to get the house sold, and get the hell out of Charming.
You tossed your phone back into your bag and continued walking to your car.
You fumbled with the keys and eventually unlocked your door.
After sliding in and sticking the keys in the ignition you wound down the windows and turned the radio on, letting the music fill the air.
Your car pulled out of its park and you drove along the street before stopping at a red light.
Seconds past and thats when you heard it.
You could always hear them before you saw them and you gulped and gripped the wheel.
In a matter of seconds a dozen bikes sped past you and you recognised each member that passed.
None of them saw you, however and you were glad.
But that still didnt stop your heart almost beating out of your chest as Jax sped past you followed by his brothers.
Finally the light turned green and you drove on.
You needed to get out of this town, and quick.

The rest of the day passed quickly.
You had spent your time doing touch-ups on the property after you had bought some paint down town, and a camp chair too, so now at least you had something to sit on.
Paint splatters covers your grey tank and speckled your cheeks but you didn’t care. The only person you were seeing today was Jeremy, and he had just left after erecting the ‘For Sale’ sign on the front lawn.
You were lucky he put up with you, really. He had your best intentions at heart and wanted you to get the best price for your fathers property.
But money was the last of your concerns. You just wanted it sold.
So you had argued and argued and finally he had agreed to put the ads out at a generously reduced price.
The house was a steal.
It wasn’t in the greatest of conditions but for the price you were asking for, you knew the buyer wouldn’t care.
A bargain.
You heard a knock on the door faintly over the blasting noise of your music.
A frown came to your lips and you knelt, resting your pain brush on top of the bucket.
You hadn’t heard any bikes pull up yet you still didn’t feel completely relieved.
Its probably just Jeremy. You told yourself as you walked through the house.
You quickly turned the volume down on your portable speakers and walked to the door.
As you reached for the handle you wiped your hair out of your face and swung it open.
It wasn’t Jeremy.
It was Gemma fucking Teller.
She stood leaning against the wall, her oversized sunglasses framing her face.
You sighed when your saw her pursed lips and you crossed your arms over your chest.
“What do you want, Gemma?” You asked.
She would have to be deaf to not hear the attitude in your voice and she raised her eye brows at you.
She paused before speaking, taking in your messy bun and your paint splattered face and clothes.
“That how you answer the door to all your visitors?” She asked coolly.
“Only the ones I don’t wanna see on my doorstep.” You bit back.
You had no right to be so catty, really. Gemma had done nothing wrong, and neither had Jax. It was you that had cut all contact yet you still felt irritated having her turn up like this and you knew she was about to give you one of her famous lectures.
She smirked slightly at your words and lifted her sunglasses, letting them sit on her head.
“There a reason you’ve been avoiding phone calls?” She asked you, her dark eyes watching you closely.
“Been busy.” You shrugged.
Gemma sighed and stepped closer.
“Listen here, missy. I don’t know what happened between you and Jackson. But you have no right to turn up in this town after all these years and break his heart all over again.”
You glared at her but she didn’t budge.
“You owe him an explanation at least. Dint you dare leave town without telling him exactly why you came back just to rip his heart out.”
Her words cut through you like ice but you didn’t let her see it.
Instead you sighed and rolled your eyes.
“Get off my porch, Gemma.”
She looked you over once more before pushing off the wall and turning her back.
She took two steps before she stopped.
“He loves you. Remember that.” She said over her shoulder before walking down the steps towards her car.
You closed the door quickly and pressed your back against it, looking around the empty room.
Fucking Gemma Teller and her fucking lectures.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two days had passed since Gemma had turned up at your front door, and it had been a week since that night with Jackson.
You sat alone in the diner, staring at the plate of food in front of you, poking it gingerly with your fork.
The phone calls had become less frequent but they hadn’t stopped, yet you still hadn’t found the courage to answer any of them. Not even Opies calls.
“Something wrong with the food, darlin?”
You glanced up and saw the waitress standing by the booth, a look of her concern on her face as she looked at the plate of food in front of you, untouched.
“Not at all. Just not as hungry as I thought.” You told her and smiled warmly.
She smiled back at you and left you to your own misery.
You sighed and left the fork on the table, resting your chin in your hand and your elbow on the table and you glanced into the street.
Even at night time Chamring still had a certain spark about it.
The streets, illuminated with street lights and neon signs in windows, the smell of fried food filling the streets.
Gemma was right, of course. You knew you couldn’t leave with out talking to him.
You didn’t even really know why you were ignoring him at all.
Someone had placed an offer on the house today and Jeremy had called you excitedly, knowing your be glad to hear of the progress. But you hadn’t been.
The offer was more than you were asking for yet you couldn’t bring yourself to go down to the office and sign off on the papers.
There was something you had to do first.
You sighed and slid out of the booth and after tossing a twenty dollar tip on the table you left the diner.
You had driven down but you didn’t head to your car.
It was only a short walk to TM,and you could use the time to figure out exactly what you were going to say.

The walk had been a good idea, giving you a chance to clear your mind and as you walked into the TM lot a wave of confidence washed over you.
You saw the row of bikes lined up and the light filling the lot from the open doors of the garage.
Music pumped through the walls of the clubhouse,but it wasn’t loud enough to signify a SAMCRO party, which you were relieved about.
As you walked silently into the lot you could hear the faint banter and smell of weed and almost instantly the nerves returned.
No one had seen you yet, and you knew it wasn’t to late to turn around.
But you couldn’t bring yourself to stop your feet from moving and gradually you turned the corner to the picnic table.
Jax sat with his back facing you, but you could recognise his blond hair anywhere.
Opie sat beside him and opposite them sat Juice and Tig.
All of them talking amongst themselves, puffing on cigarettes and joints and sipping on beers ad whiskey.
You fumbled with your fingers.
Juice spotted you out of the corner of his eye and he turned to you, smiling warmly.
Eventually they all saw Juice looking at something and all of them turned.
You felt so small, so fragile when those blue eyes fell on you and for a moment you forgot you weren’t alone.
Silence fell and Jax closed his mouth tightly.
The rest of the men stood and Juice and Tig headed inside, nodding to Jax.
Opie walked to you and kissed your cheek before heading inside, leaving you alone with Jax.
He turned his back to you and took a long swig of his beer.
You forced your feet to move and you slowly walked towards the table before sliding onto the bench opposite him.
Jax took a long drag of his cigarette, and you watched him blow it out.
He still didn’t look at you or say anything and you twiddled your thumbs in your lap.
“How are you?” You asked quietly.
Almost instantly you regretted saying anything at all.
Jax glanced at you with a raised brow.
“How am I?” He repeated.
You blushed and gulped, unsure of how to respond.
Jax scoffed and rubbed his hand across his face.
“Jesus Christ, (y/n). What are you doing here?” He asked you. There was a coldness to his tone and you shuddered slightly.
“I.. I thought we should talk.” You said quietly.
“Now you wanna talk? I tried calling you. A million fucking times. But now you wanna talk?” Jax snarled now and you could definitely sense the anger radiating off him.
You stood and dropped your hands.
“This was a mistake.” You said.
“Typical. You cant keep running forever, (y/n).” Jax said.
You had only taken a few steps when he spoke and you stopped.
“I shouldn’t have come back.” You said and Jax spun in his seat.
His nostrils were flared and you knew he was angry.
“So why did you?” He asked and he stood.
“You know why.” You told him and you felt tears rising behind your eyes.
“No. I don’t know. You could have sold the house from the city. We both know that. So why’d you come back? Why now?” He stepped closer to you, narrowing the gap between you and you stepped back.
You didn’t know how to answer him.
“It doesn’t matter why, Jax. The house sold. Im leaving again, so you can just pretend this never happened.” It wasn’t exactly a lie. You had an offer on the house, all you had to do was sign it over.
Jax scoffed and shook his head before looking at you once more.
His blue eyes were filled with fire and you shuddered under his gaze.
“So thats it, huh? Your just gonna forget about me and you?!” Jax snarled, his voice rising.
You stepped back once more and your back hit the wall.
“I could never forget about you, Jackson.” You spat back.
He smirked evilly and moved closer, placing his hands on the wall either side of your head.
“So what, you just wanna fuck me and leave, huh?”
You gulped and glared at him.
“Atleast you got what you wanted.” Jax snarled and turned, walking away from you.
You clenched your fists.
“Fuck you!” You screamed. God, it made you angry that he was right. You had treated him like shit all these years, and especially this week.
Jax shook his head and continued walking.
“You wanna know why it took me so long to comeback?” You yelled.
Finally he turned back to face you and you stepped closer to him, your body shaking with emotion.
“Because I fucking love you, you idiot!” You yelled. “I was so fucking terrified that if I came back you would have moved on, that you’d have an old lady. And i knew I wouldn’t be able to handle that. And yeah, maybe I shouldn’t have fucked you the other night. But i thought id do you the favour of ending things with me. We both know I cant stay here!”
Jax stared at you, his mouth slightly open.
You breathed heavily, and you had never felt more vulnerable that you did right in that moment.
“What did you say?” Jax asked slowly.
You scoffed ad turned around.
“Forget it Jax. I’ll be out of town by the end of the week.”
Your footsteps were rapid as you walked away from him and you didn’t hear him call after you.
Suddenly though, you heard heavy footsteps behind you and before you could react he grabbed your wrist and spun your body to face him.
His hand gripped your face and he crashed his lips against yours.
For a moment you let him in, let him kiss you so desperately.
But you quickly came to your senses and you shoved him away from you with all your force.
“I love you.” He said quietly.
You froze, only your eyes moving to meet his.
“What?” You whispered.
“God, (y/n), I love you. I have since you left.” Jax said.
A tear escaped your eye and you let it roll gently down your cheek.
“It broke my heart when you left. And Ive been with other women, lots of them. But every women I have ever been with, I have seen you. Its always been you.”
His words echoed in your ears and you stared at him as tears rolled down your cheeks.
You stepped closer to him and he reached his hand out, letting his finger gently wipe away the tears.
“I cant lose you again.” Jax whispered.
His blue eyes glistened with his own tears and you gulped before you stepped closer and reached up to kiss his lips.
“The house didn’t sell. I only got an offer.” You told him truthfully.
Jax grinned and shook his head slightly. He reached his hand out and swept your hair behind your ear before holding your face gently, his thumb stroking your cheek.
“Dont sell it.” He told you. “Stay here, in Charming.”
“Ive got a job Jax, and an apartment-“
“So quit. We’ll find you work here. Please, (y/n), I cant lose you again.”
You looked into his eyes and saw the hurt you had caused him all these years, the begging.
Slowly, you nodded.
“Okay.”
Jax grinned and pressed his lips against yours.
“I love you, (y/n).  I really love you.”
You grinned back at your best friend, the love of your life.
“I love you too, Jax.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry if theres any grammar or spelling mistakes, i can never be bothered editing and my phone loves to auto correct so if it doesn’t make sense i apologise.

Hope you liked this!

I will never let you go...

Sometimes I wake up at night thinking about the way Louis hugs Harry.
Like really hugs him!

The way he holds his back so tight with his hand.
Just holds it there for a while.. 

Then presses his thumb down hard… 

It’s like he’s saying “I’m here. Do you feel me? You are safe with me….

…I will never let you go…”.

And once you realize it’s always his right hand digging into Harry’s skin…
His right arm above his left. The same arm he’s got his rope tattooed on.
The arm where his compass is marked permanently into his skin…

So that press of his thumb is kind of like him saying “My rope will keep your anchor steady. My compass will guide your ship safely to shore.
I’m right here. I will never let you go”.

And that fucks me up a little to be honest…..

LOVE★LOVE GUILTY (Guilty Love)
The Gavinners feat. Herr Forehead
LOVE★LOVE GUILTY (Guilty Love)

Did you know there was an official version of Guilty Love with lyrics? This was performed in a special event on 2012. It is supposedly sung by Klavier with a little help of Apollo. The lyrics were written by Shu Takumi btw!

Here’s the translation and romanization (sorry if I made a mistake! This took me a little~)

English translation:

I found you in a stunning dress, I held you
You put down your glass and looked me in the eyes
“Where should we go now? JUST YOU AND ME”
But I can’t… I’m on my way to court

Turn the wheel left at the corner and there it is.
Your honor!
SO! Let’s get drunk on the thrill that’s about to start
Courthouse show!
I was going to have a SALTY DOG with you
But now I’m thristy for a glass of GUILTY DOG
Where’s the truth? To find your answer…
Go ask the wind!

This evening, I held a guitar in one hand
And took your hand with mine
Now I’ll sing you a love ballad JUST SONG FOR YOU
But I can’t… I’m on my way to a crime scene

Go down the stairs to the dance floor, and there’s…
A crime scene investigation!
SO! The Evidence, testimony, and dead body
Look like they’ll start dancing!
Gazing up at the MILKY WAY with you
I’m praying for a GUILTY BREAK!
What is the truth? To find your answer…
Go ask the wind!

In the depths of darkness (LOVE LOVE GUILTY)
Reveal the truth behind the crime (LOVE LOVE GUILTY)
The journey to the next world is so far (LOVE LOVE GUILTY)
And the shadow is wandering (LOVE LOVE GUILTY)
I’ll search for the light, for the sake of your future

Even those tears look beautiful on you
The day we part will come eventually
Let’s do it over if we can JUST YOU AND ME
But I can’t… I’m on my way to court

Turn the wheel left at the corner and there it is.
Your honor!
SO! Let’s get drunk on the thrill that’s about to start
Courthouse show!
I was going to have a SALTY DOG with you
But now I’m thristy for a glass of GUILTY DOG
Where’s this love headed? To find your answer…
Go ask the wind…
…Or better yet, go ask Herr Forehead!
[Apollo] OBJECTION!

No one can predict it (LOVE LOVE GUILTY)
Which way the ruling will go (LOVE LOVE GUILTY)
The sins people commit (LOVE LOVE GUILTY)
Who will judge them? (LOVE LOVE GUILTY)
In the depths of darkness (LOVE LOVE GUILTY)
Reveal the truth behind the crime (LOVE LOVE GUILTY)
The journey to the next world is so far (LOVE LOVE GUILTY)
A shadow is wandering (LOVE LOVE GUILTY)
I’ll search for the light
LOVE LOVE GUILTY!


Romanization: ((under the cut))

Keep reading

Groove You Good (Derek/Stiles)

nightjade14 said: Sterek. Forever and always! For the teeny fic challenge. What a fun idea! Good luck with the tests!!! :) ~ Shae &  sterekseason said:Sterek for the tiny fic meme

Teeny fic #9.

If the spirit moves you
Let me groove you good
Let your love come down
Oh, get it on, come on baby

Let’s Get it On by Marvin Gaye

Groove You Good. Derek/Stiles. Teen. Also on AO3.

Derek gets home after a long week to find Stiles preparing a seduction

It’s been a really long week, and it’s only Wednesday. Finals means extra tutorial sessions, and a stack of essays to grade for one class, and a stack of short answer exams to grade for two others. Fortunately, two intro classes work best with scantrons, so those are already graded and filed. Regardless, Derek’s left hand is already cramped from all of the writing he’s had to do, and he’s just grateful he’s ambidextrous so he can start using the right hand to grade the exams.

Keep reading

I’ve been doing daily tarot readings for myself for the last several months now. When I started, I was using just a basic three card spread I’d run across on Pinterest… but when I received a new deck for Samhain, I decided a new deck deserved a new, personalized spread. I’ve found that this spread has been extremely accurate and has also helped me reflect on the meaning of the cards throughout the day (which has helped so much with learning the meanings of each card and fine-tuning my reading abilities)! I hope this spread is as helpful to you as it has been for me over the last several weeks! Enjoy! 😘

1. Daily Overview Card
2. What to be aware of
3. What to take action on
4. What to let go of

Shuffle your deck while focusing your intentions for the reading. When you’re ready, draw four cards from the top of the deck with your power hand (left). Happy reading!

We were skin to skin when I let my hands wander to find every crease and curve of your body. You were art to me, and no amount of love was more than the love I had for you. I saw passion in your eyes, and I didn’t realize you saw nothing in mine until the day there was no hesitation in your voice when you told me I could walk away if I wanted to. I finally understood how little I meant to you and it demolished what was left of my heart, because you were home to me. I was convinced what we had was love, but love isn’t a harsh voice that tells you nothing you’ll ever do will be good enough. Your tone became heavy and your glances no longer had meaning, and instead had an emptiness that lingered everywhere we went. I loved the thick and thin parts of your broken soul, yet you trampled over everything I had left in mine, shattering more than just the inside, but crumbling the surface with it. I would have given you all the stars in the sky if I could have, but you would have asked for the moon, too.
—  I no longer find comfort in your voice
Paperwork Hell

For csi-willows who requested 25 - “Stop giving me that look” with Hotch 😊


“Stop sulking.” Morgan said from behind you, flicking your ear as he passed, flopping down into his own desk across from yours. You glared at him before letting your head drop down onto your desk with a groan. You were not sulking. Okay, so maybe you were sulking but you had every right to be.

Two weeks ago, in a completely non-work related accident, you broke the hamate bone in your left hand. Hotch decided that he didn’t want you in the field until he was “Comfortable” with your ability to shoot a gun using both hands. So while the rest of your team ran around Central California on a case, you’d sat here hauled up in this Hell hole going through heaps of backed up paperwork. For the first week Garcia had been your only saving grace, but she too became grouchy with all your sulking.

“Hotch better let you back on the field soon, I heard Garcia’s trying to send your transfer papers into the CIA.” Morgan continued and you peeked up from your desk long enough to stick your tongue out before letting it drop again with another thud.

“I’ve been here doing your paperwork for nearly two weeks. I’m not helping.” You stated stubbornly glaring holes into the papers the littered your desk. “Derek Morgan, you have, the messiest handwriting I’ve ever had the misfortune of trying to decipher. I mean do you even try? I’m sure a drunk toddler’s scrawl would be more leg-”

“(Y/N), come here.” Hotch called, and you didn’t have to look to know it was from the doorway to his office. Groaning again you lifted your head and pulled yourself into a standing position. Derek laughed giving you the stereotypical ‘oooo’ kids got when they were called to the office in school. And in a mature fashion you returned it by chucking the orange from your lunch at his head.

Morgan’s laughter followed you up to Hotch’s office where you finally blocked it out by shutting the door.

“Come on, sit.” Hotch gestured to the chair, eyes not leaving the stack of papers he was signing off on. You plopped into the chair and crossed your arms, watching him and waiting for him to say or do something. Acknowledge your existence. After several moments of silence, only broken up by the occasional scribble from Hotch, or the dramatic sigh from you Aaron broke the quiet, still not looking up. “Stop giving me that look.”

“What look?” You asked innocently, which caused him to look up at you finally, rolling his eyes.

“That ‘ you shot my puppy ‘ look.”

“You shot Gunnar?” You asked with a sharp gasp, hand flying to cover your heart. Hotch gave you a dry look.

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m bored, and my crazy overprotective boyfriend won’t let me leave this building where paperwork goes to die.”

“Who decided to be stubborn and walk when I told them I’d pull the car around? Who slipped on ice and hurt herself?” Aaron asked giving you an amused look.

“I’m fine and you know it. You’re just making excuses for keeping me here, you’re trying to drive me insane.”

“I think you’ve been doing most of the driving, dear. Garcia is begging for you to be taken back.” You huffed, jutting your bottom lip out in a pout, causing Hotch to lean over the desk and use his thumb to smooth your lip back down.

“Now now, stop with that look too, let me see the wrist.” He murmured, pulling back far enough to inspect the brace the hospital put on, “Still hurt?”

“No.” 

“Liar. It’s still bruised, and a little puffy. It’s not your dominant hand.” He poked at your wrist above the brace and moved your fingers below it, “I’ll take you down to the range after work and see how it looks, okay?” You grinned happily nodding you head and leaning over to kiss his cheek, causing him to break into a rare smile. Aaron ran a finger over your grinning lips and nodded his head, “Okay, you can keep giving me that look.” 

Headcanon: Jason was once left to babysit Damian. It could have been a bonding experience.
Sadly, it ended in a citywide blackout, the South Side’s fire hydrants replaced with apple juice, Mongolian traders controlling the sewage system, and worst of all, Damian put on a leash.

“Stay in my line of vision!”
“LET GO OF ME!”

Though I held in my hand, the key to all joy
Honey my heart was not born to be tamed.
So goodbye, so long, the road calls me dear
And your tears cannot bind me anymore,
And farewell to the girl with the sun in her eyes
Can I kiss you, and then I’ll be gone.

In my personal narrative, MacCready copes with the loss of his wife by telling people that she left him. He still loves her, desperately, and can never let her go. When Darius and Hancock welcome him into their relationship, he discovers within himself that he can continue to love her. But that doesn’t mean that he cannot move forward with his life, and find further happiness. Allowing himself to embrace new horizons, he frees his heart from Lucy’s shackles, forever remembering her, cherishing her, but knowing she’ll never come back.

I’m writing a fic concerning this, it’s about halfway done. :’D