let me be your employee

  • Clark Kent: It's over Miss Luthor
  • Lena Luthor: And how may I assist you today Mr.Kent?
  • Clark Kent: There was a break in at Star Labs Weapons Laboratory. The police found your prints. You are going down
  • Lena Luthor: At what time was the break in?
  • Clark Kent: At 3 am
  • Lena Luthor: Well then my prints have obviously been planted. I was in my penthouse at 3 am and I can have someone vouch for me
  • Clakr Kent: Let me guess one of your many employees? You can't buy yourself an alibi Miss Luthor .Not this time
  • Lena Luthor: Actually she is not my employee. I believe you are familiar with Kara Danvers?
  • Clark Kent: Wh....what was Kara doing in your penthouse at 3am!?!?
  • Lena Luthor : Well it rhymes with Lex.....

otrascosasseries  asked:

hi! My birthday will be 20th of April... I know it is far far away but.... ;-)

Originally posted by keith-and-lance-do-cool-things

Happy birthday! We know this is a little late for your time zone, but we wish you a stellar day nonetheless! 

It’s time. I gave myself two days to work up the courage to tell my boss I won’t be working for him anymore. It’s been exactly 48 hours, and if I wait any longer I’ll have to tell my new boss I can’t start on time.

I take a deep breath, push the swivel chair away from my desk and prepare to give my two week’s notice. I’ve been offered a job that pays a smidge more and I can advance within the company, so it’s kind of a no brainer. Although I do love my current job, I’ll only ever be a secretary.

And I really like my boss. Like, really like him. That’s part of the problem, too. I’ve been attracted to him from day one. He’s a blond-haired, blue-eyed specimen of perfection worthy of god-status, but in two years he’s never given me any indication that he’s interested. He’s single and, unless he keeps his private life under wraps tighter than a nun’s vagina, he never dates. Ever. His ring finger has been bare since I’ve known him, he’s shown up at every company holiday party alone, and he has no pictures of anyone other than family in his office.

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First day nerves.

day five of Malec week  - non supernatural Au

Alec Lightwood said a silent prayer that his nerves wouldn’t get the best of him as he got off the elevator and into the offices of the advertising agency that he was about to have his first day of work with.

He went up to the high reception desk, it was all polished wood and stainless steel and told them who he was. The pretty young girl with a thick mane of long red hair directed him to a waiting area and he sat down on a hard-black leather sofa, probably designed to keep people from getting too comfortable.  The view from the floor to ceiling windows was spectacular, a complete vista of the bustling city below.

“Mr Lightwood, Mr Bane will see you now, please follow me.” Alec got up, pushing his dark framed glasses back up his nose and followed the pretty redheaded receptionist up a hall way to his right. As they walked, Alec couldn’t help but notice the size of the heels on the girl’s shoes as the clicked on the tiled floor. He was so glad that he wasn’t female and have to deal with such seemingly impossible tasks such as walking on high heels. He could be so uncoordinated at times, he’s probably break his neck if he’d have to of done it.

They stopped at a set of clouded glass double doors, a stylized letter ‘B’ etched in the glass. The girl knock softly before opening the door and walking through. Alec took a deep breath as he heard her tell the boss that he was here. She opened the door wider and waved him through.

Alec squared his shoulders and tried to seem as confident as possible before he entered the office.

A large desk with a glass top sat in front of the same huge windows as the reception area. Aa high backed office chair was turned backwards behind it and he could hear a deep male voice talking from behind it. He took the opportunity to look around. The office seemed bigger than his own apartment. There were shelves with various expensive looking glass ware and figurines on them and the white walls had antique advertising posters on them. There was even a pair of white leather sofas and a glass coffee table to one side. A door stood slightly ajar on one side of the room where a glimpse of tiled floor showed through which looked like a bathroom. Alec snapped back to reality when he heard the man behind the chair finish off his conversation. Here we go, he thought and took in a deep breath.

The chair spun around and the man occupying it was the hottest guy Alec had ever seen in his life. He really had to fight with himself to maintain control of himself. Black hair that was cut very short at the side of his head was longer on the top and fell over one side of his brow. His skin was a light mocha and its smooth surface made Alec’s fingers itch to feel it beneath his fingertips. His eyes were a deep enough brown that the pupils weren’t visible from where he was standing and his small nose and perfect mouth completed his handsome face. He wore a suit that was perfectly tailored for him and Alec knew it would of cost more than he made in a month. He stood up and buttoned the jacket with long elegant fingers which were adorned with several rings.  He came around from behind the desk to greet him. He seemed to move his tall frame with a fluid motion of a dancer. He smiled, curving those fabulous lips up at the corners and stuck out a hand.

“Alec Lightwood? Magnus Bane. Welcome to the company.” Alec took his hand in his own. He almost lost control when he felt the soft skin against his. He’d been so right about that.

“Thank you, Mr Bane. I’m happy to be here.” He said, hoping his voice didn’t betray the way he felt inside. Now he was this he could take in the smell of his exotic aftershave or cologne, it made his already racing heart beat even faster.

Those bottomless brown eyes seemed to bore into him and Alec prayed he wouldn’t blush. Did the man always look at new employees like that?

“Let me show you to your office and you can get started then. And please, call me Magnus.” He walked to the door and pulled it open waving Alec through and the headed back up the hallway and back through the reception area to another hall way. Alec noticed heads turning as they went. Not that he could blame them Magnus bane was hard to miss.

The stopped at the third door on the left-hand side and Magnus opened it for him. The room held a desk, computer and a set of shelves. A sloped drawing board sat to the left of the desk and faced a large window. Wow, he was going to have a view.

“I hope you find everything to your liking. I’ll get our office manager to come in and give you all the details you’ll need and show you around the rest of the office. I hope you’ll be happy with us. I’ve heard great things about you.” Magnus told him.

That’s very kind of you, thanks I’m sure I’ll have everything I need.” Alec pushed his glasses back up his nose again. He could have sworn he saw a small smirk tilt his lips before he headed for the door. He paused in the hallway and turned back to face him.

“I hope to see you around, Alexander.” He said before disappearing back up the hall way.

Alec fell into his chair and put a hand over his chest feeling the rapid thump of his heart. Wow, that was totally unexpected. It was going to make things difficult for him to be the new guy and have a giant crush on the boss.

Alec settled in to his work and was pleased to be able to immerse himself in it so it left very little time for his thought to stray to the exceptional Magnus Bane.

Just before lunch, Alec had gathered a pile of papers he needed to copy and he scooped them up from his desk and headed for the door, rifling through them as he went. He collided with a hard surface that also smelt very familiar. His head flew up to see Magnus Bane only an inch in front of him. His paperwork fell to the floor in a flurry of paper, clouding the floor. He felt like a deer caught in a set of headlights, dazed and temporarily rendered immobile. God, why did the man have to smell so damn good? He had little choice but to look directly into his eyes and he thought he saw something flicker in them. Alec realised that magnus had moved his face slightly closer to him and he felt a warm heat rising from deep with in him. Holy shit! Was this really happening?

Then he made the mistake of blinking and Magnus seemed to snap out of it and pull back. Alec dropped to his knees, frantically gathering his paperwork. He tilted his head up to look up at his boss. For a few seconds, Alec saw the man look down at him with gaze that was pure sin. His blood ran cold through his veins. sweet Jesus, had he really seem that?

“I’m so sorry Mr Bane. I should have been looking where I was going.” He stuttered and he slowly stood back up clutching the shambled papers to his chest.

“That’s fine, Alexander, and please call me Magnus. How are things going?” he asked.

“It’s been great so far, thanks.”

“I’ll let you get back to it then. Hope to bump into you again sometime.” He said, smiling back at him. Alec’s knees wanted to give way.

“Ha-ha, yeah me too.” He laughed nervously. Magnus continued to move down the hall way and headed for the copy room. When he reached it, he closed the door behind him and dumped the papers on top of one of the machines before leaning his arms over the top and resting his head on them.

Had that really happened? Was he imagining things or did that gorgeous hunk of a man look like he was tempted to kiss him? Of all the ways he had thought his first day would go, this wasn’t even a possibility. He pulled himself together and took a couple of deep breaths before he got on with the task he had gone there for.

The afternoon passed quickly and as it got nearer to the end of his day, Alec realised he was disappointed that there had been no more chance meetings with Magnus. He straightened his desk and was turning off his computer when a knock on his door made him look up. The red headed receptionist came into his office.

“Mr Bane would like to see you before you go, Mr Lightwood.” She said and then left. OH God, here were go, he was probably going to get fired for being a  bumbling idiot and stuffing something up. Alec over looked his clothes and buttoned his suit jacket and headed up the hall way.

The office had grown quiet, most of the other employees having already gone for the day. He walked passed the reception desk and saw that even it was empty. Alec paused half way up the hall. Oh no, what if Magnus had picked up on his attraction to him and he was going to tell him it wasn’t going to work out if he felt that way? Maybe he had imagined everything from earlier that day, that it had all been just his over active imagination. He swallowed hard and headed for the two glass doors.

He knocked and heard Magnus tell him to come in. He stepped through the door and it closed behind him with a click. Magnus was leaning on the front of his desk, his butt just resting on the surface. He had taken off his jacket and was only in shirt and tie, his long legs clad in the dark material of his pants were stuck out at an angle, ankles crossed.

“Please Alexander, come in.” he encouraged and Alec walked a few more steps into the room, close enough to be able to admire those broad shoulders and the way the material of his shirt hugged his biceps. No, stop it! He had to quit that. If it didn’t get him fired now it would eventually, he was sure.

“So, how did your first day go?’ Magnus asked, slowly undoing the knot of his tie. Alec wished he would stop doing that. Why it was affecting him so much he had no idea.

“It was great, thanks. I really enjoyed it.” He said and he was dismayed to hear the slight tremor in his voice.

Magnus got up from the desk, his tie in his hand, and walked over to him. Alec felt his breath hitch and then stop completely.

“You know, when I saw your resume I had no idea how good looking you were.” He said, his voice low and deep. Wait, what? When Alec didn’t reply, he went on.

“Am I right to presume you feel something similar about me?” Magnus was now standing an inch from him. His hand came up and fingered the lapel of his jacket, his eyes capturing his full attention. Alec couldn’t think straight anymore. This was too surreal. He felt his head nodding and he automatically raised his hand to push his glasses up on his nose. Magnus took in a deep breath, closing his eyes in a slow blink.

“Do you have any idea how hot that is? But I bet you look even better without them.” He reached up and removed Alec’s glasses making him blink rapidly to refocus his eyes.

“I was right, you are. There’s something I’ve wanted to do all day, since you stepped foot into my office.” He half whispered. Alec could feel his whole body bunched up tightly, dare he ask?

“What’s that?”

“this.” Magnus plunged that beautiful mouth down on his, kissing him with a force that had Alec wanting to melt in a puddle at his feet. A hand came up behind the back of his neck, fingers digging into the skin. Alec found his own arms circling his narrow waist, feeling the firmness of his solid body below the material of his shirt. When Magnus finally raised his head, his eyes shiny with need, Alec gulped in some hard breaths. How had he not taken a breath for that long? A slow smile played across his whole face. Magnus returned his look.

“Welcome to the company, Alexander. I can tell you have a lot of promise.”  Alec have a short laugh.

“Best first day ever.” He whispered before tasting those lips once more.

Paint [Steve Rogers x Reader]

Author’s Note: Do we like the Avengers? Yes? No? Ha ha, this is just something I wrote up that was inspired by the fact I’m in the process of redesigning my whole room. I’m not at the painting stage yet but hopefully will be soon and I’m quite excited. I haven’t written anything for Avengers for a really long time, so you guys should definitely send me requests lelel.

Word Count: 1,444

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So I know a lot of you are probably protesting right now, or planning to protest. As a former haunted house employee, let me tell you that your voice tires out QUICK. An hour of shouting will leave you in serious pain the next day. For my job I had to scream for hours on end, night after night. Here’s how I didn’t destroy my vocal cords! 

  • WATER! WATER WILL SAVE YOU! Water water water water water! Bring twice as much as you think you will need. Then bring an extra bottle. Take a sip every five minutes or so. I don’t care if you aren’t thirsty. KEEP DRINKING while you are shouting. It will save you pain later. 
  • LEMON GINGER TEA! I used to make a giant thermos of it and sip it in between scenes at the haunted house. It will SAVE your life. Take tiny sips often, and if your throat hurts after the fact, this will soothe the pain! Add honey to give it extra soothing powers!
  • Hard candies! I think it’s because they make you produce more spit, which helps your throat? I don’t know, but they passed them out to all the screamers at the haunted house, so obviously they do something. 
  • PACE YOURSELF! For real, do not start yelling as loud as you can at the beginning! Take breaks when you can! You may feel fine, but your throat’s gonna hurt like hell the next day. 
  • Warm-up! Any singer will tell you this! =) Don’t go straight into shouting, start slow!

Please be careful! Take care of yourselves, be safe, and again, drink water EVEN when you are not at all thirsty. 

Executive Party

Title: Executive Party
Rating: PG
Summary: Tony’s terrible December is suddenly looking up.
Notes: For captn-sara-holmes. She knows why. 

Two major purchases had fallen through, a stock buyout was going poorly, and a third purchase was on the rocks, that December. Tony was used to this; people got squirrelly around the holidays, personal assistants left for vacation, offices shut down, lawyers were out of town, and nothing got done. He didn’t know why the entire capitalist system didn’t just up and fuck off for the month, but he supposed retail had to march onwards. Still, it was irksome that Stark Industries, his betrothed since childhood, was not performing up to par.

“Look, Cassidy,” he said into the phone, as Steve let himself silently into his office. He held up a hand to acknowledge Steve’s arrival. “Cassidy, no, I’m not – I’m not trying to pressure you, I’m – okay a little, but. Okay. You own a microelectronics company that is maybe going to do a million dollars next year. If you let me help you, I can add a zero onto that. None of your employees get fired, you maintain control of R&D, Stark Industries gets the bounty of your ingenuity, this is a win for everyone. You’ve seen the contract, I can’t – yes,” he sighed, as Jack Cassidy, CEO of MicroCasm Technologies, demurred yet again on the buyout that would literally make him a billionaire in ten years.

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Video Game Store

Dallas, TX, USA

(Note: I am white.)

(A man with his very small son comes up to the counter with a copy of Call of Duty.)

Man: I’d like to buy this game for my son.

Me: I’m sorry, sir, but you are aware that this game is rated M, right?

Man: And what’s that supposed to mean? Just ring me up.

Me: I can’t allow you to buy this without first making you aware that this game contains– Man (Suddenly screaming): I DON’T F****ING CARE, YOU N**** SL**! MY SON WANTS THIS F***ING GAME, AND YOU ARE GOING TO F***ING LET ME BUY IT! ONLY NOW I WANT IT FOR FREE BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN RUDE TO ME!

Me: I-I can’t do that, sir.


(I run and get my manager.)

Manager: What seems to be the problem?


(His son is crying, but he’s holding his ears.) Son (Mumbling): Daddy, you’re being shouty…


Manager: Get out of here.

Man: WHAT?

Manager: Take your son, and get the f*** out of here before I call the police. You’ve been insulting my employee, and I won’t stand for that.


(He suddenly goes berserk, destroying everything he can get at. He punches my manager in the face, then begins to take off his clothes and urinate on the ruined merchandise.)

Manager: There’s something you need to know about the employee you’ve insulted…


(I get out from behind the desk, and kick him in the balls.)

Manager: She’s a black belt in karate, and doesn’t take kindly to people punching her boyfriend in the face.

(The man grabs his son and runs like hell, but he drops his wallet, with his ID inside. We bandaged my boyfriend’s nose,and took the man to court, where he was found guilty of vandalism, assault, and, as we later found out, resisting arrest. Needless to say, he was permanently banned from the store.)




While Kasim waits his turn for his weekly haircut, he reads the latest text from Dylan that he has no intention of answering. After his conversation with Devin in the hospital, he tried to explain to Dylan, in a series of texts, that he wasn’t interested in a serious relationship and that it was time they go their separate ways since he couldn’t give her what she wanted. Dylan assumes he’s rejecting her because he’s renewed his relationship with Devin - which isn’t the case at all. She’s determined to get him back from Devin and her persistence is starting to wear thin. He’s considering changing his phone number, when Charmaine, his hairstylist calls out to him.

Charmaine: Kasim, you can go ahead and sit in my chair. I just need to put her under the dryer, and I’ll be right with you.

Kasim settles in Charlene’s chair wondering what’s taking Saire so long. They were supposed to meet to get their hair cut, but Saire’s m.i.a.

Charmaine: What are you getting, your usual shape-up?

Kasim: Yeah, don’t take any off the top. Just line me up.

Charmaine: You know I’m dying to cut your hair. Are you ever gonna let me cut it?

Kasim: Nah.

Kasim smiles and shakes his head.

Kasim: I’m not cutting my hair. You know I’m like Sampson. All my strength is in my hair.

Charmaine smiles at him seductively.

Charmaine: That’s not where your strength is.

He laughs. Charmaine and Kasim have messed around every now and then over the years, but he never put her in his regular rotation, because she didn’t know how to keep her teeth out of the way. On top of that, she was an over-the-top screamer, who would lay motionless and make him do all the work. She was sexy, so every few months he’d give her another shot, but their encounters always ended with him exhausted and examining his dick for lacerations. Terrible sex aside, she was one of the best hair stylist in St. Claire, who hooked his ‘fro up perfectly every time.

There were other perks to patronizing a beauty salon, instead of a barber shop full of dudes. Visiting Charmaine’s always made him feel like a fat kid in a candy store.

Kasim: Dayum, fatty on fleek. Who is that? She’s new?

Kasim flinches and yelps in pain, when Charmaine pops him in the back of his neck with a comb.

Kasim: Ow! What the hell is wrong with you?!

Charmaine: Let me tell your ass something… Don’t come in here flirting with my employees, ok? Because she’ll leave out of here unemployed and you’ll leave with a pink mohawk. Don’t play with me.

Kasim: I ain’t flirting with nobody. I didn’t say anything to her. What are you talking about?

Charmaine: You’re sitting here staring at her ass, asking me is she new? This is my place of business, Kasim and I don’t share dick with my staff.

Kasim: Girl, just cut my hair and stop bugging out. I wasn’t even staring at her ass like that. I was looking at what she’s doing. What is she squeezing out of that bottle? Is that glue?

Charmaine smirked at his lame attempt to act like his interest was in the weave glue.

Charmaine: Yes, it’s glue.

Kasim: The shit y'all females do to your hair is crazy. How is she supposed to get glue out of her hair?

Charmaine: With glue remover or oil. Will you please stop staring at people? Nobody wants a man staring in their face while they’re getting their weave done.

Sucking her teeth, Charmaine spins his chair around in the opposite direction.

As much as Kasim enjoys the scenery at Charmaine’s salon, there is one thing he isn’t too fond of…

Sean: Oooh look who’s here. Haaaay boo!

Kasim: I’m not your boo.

Sean: My bad, I keep forgetting you don’t like that.

Sean: Wassup, DAWG… Is that better?

Charmaine laughs, while Kasim drops his head in his hand.

Charmaine: Sean, stop messing with him.

Kasim: This dude is crazy.

Sean: I didn’t do anything to him. I can’t say “hello”?

Sean continuted to stand in front of Kasim, giving him the once over.

Sean: Uhn uhn uhn… Except for them brows, you is snatched for the gawds.

Kasim: What?!

Sean: Nothing. Do you want me to do your eyebrows when she’s done with your hair?

Kasim: Do I look like I get my eyebrows done?

Sean: No, but you should. They’re wild and bushy as hell!

Kasim: Yo, Charmaine…

Charmaine is laughing so hard that tears are forming in her eyes.

Charmaine: Sean, stop it. Leave him alone.

Sean: Stop what? I didn’t do anything. I’m the esthetician, I’m doing my job!

Sean walks off in a flourish, smiling to himself. 

Kasim: Why is he always fucking with me?

Charmaine: Because he knows it bothers you.  Anyway, I’m making oxtails tonight, you want to stop by for a plate?

Kasim: Yeah, a'ight. I guess I can stop by and get a plate.

Kasim was sure Charmaine was offering more than just oxtails. And even though she couldn’t fuck worth a damn, Kasim didn’t mind hitting her off every now and then to keep her happy. Because no matter how booked she was, Charmaine would always find space to squeeze him if he needed a cut on short notice. He winked at her to let her know he knew what she really wanted.

Charmaine: Fix your face. I can’t cut your beard with your face all squished up, and I don’t know what you’re winking at me for. All I got for you is oxtails.

Kasim: Mmhmm… sure you do. You ain’t gotta be shy, baby. You know I got you.

Charmaine: Kasim, please. Your mind lives in the gutter. I only offered you the oxtails because you liked them so much the last time I made them.

Still unconvinced he smiled at her knowingly.

Kasim: Aight. Whatever you say.

Charmaine: I’m on my period, so you can just stop it.

Kasim: Your period? Aww hell nah. You can keep that.

Charmaine: I wasn’t offering it to you!

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anonymous asked:

In your ideal country, would employers still be required to pay employees in money?

Well let me break down your question. First I’ll deal with the required bit. In our country now, employers aren’t required to pay anything. I can start working for free. I can get an internship and just work for pure experience or charity. 

But to answer your question, no employers would only follow the contract agreed upon between the employee and themselves. 

If you’re asking if the employer could use another form of payment other than currency, sure that would be fine. They could pay them in gold, or stocks or commodities, or even gum.

In my ideal country, exchanges of labor for either currency or a good would be completely free of government intervention. So what you wish to be paid in is only limited by what other people are willing to give for your labor.