Drunk advice please. Some days ago I pushed the person I love the most away in order not to hurt him because I know just how messed up I am and I wanted him to realize I'm no good. I lied, I said horrible things to his face and I don't know if I've done the right thing, but the last I remember is him being so disappointed, almost hurt... it almost makes me want to tell him the truth but it'd only lead to a forgiveness I don't deserve. I'm afraid of myself, I don't know what to do
Dude. Pal. Friend. Let me tell you something. Between us gals. Fuck you. You don’t get to decide something for someone else. You don’t get to pull the 1990′s old yeller “go home boy I don’t want you around anymore!” shtick just cause you think you’re not good enough. You don’t get to judge whether or not he’s allowed to care about you. If he thinks you’re worth it. If he thinks you deserve forgiveness. If he thinks you’re worth caring about. Then you don’t get to tell him he’s wrong. Yeah you’ve got to live with yourself and you’ve got to make peace with that. But he should have enough agency to decide for himself. So let him decide for himself.