let go your burden

“Let the hate go.” he said. “Let it all—go. The burdens that you’ve been keeping inside your heart. The darkness that surrounds it. Please do not keep that baggage with you forever. I know, it’s the hardest thing to do, but how will you be able to know if it’s worth it, if you wouldn’t even want to give it a try? This time, listen to your heart carefully. Close your eyes and let it flow. Let the feelings run through. Darling please remember, that we aren’t living in the past. You aren’t in the same position as you were ten years ago. This is the present. This is what you should be thinking of .” he held her hand tightly and said, “I am not him. And he was not me. And just because I am asking you to forgive him, that doesn’t mean that I am also asking you to forget everything he did. I am just asking you not to let him ruin everything we have right now. Because I love you. And I can never afford to lose you. Please darling, not you”.
—  ma.c.a // Past and Differences
Anger

Hello everybody! Hope you’ll like this one shot, as it’s a little different than my previous ones. I experimented with asshole-harry as I announced earlier this week.

Summary: Y/N loves Harry to pieces, however, not when he switches from being the nicest man to the complete opposite whenever he’s angry.

Warning: There are hints on sexual assault. ( Not rape !!! ) In case you’re sensitive to that subject, please do not read. It’s something I have no experience in and I really tried be careful while writing.

This gif isn’t mine, but oh my, look at him! 

I’d seen him angry before, and a few times his anger had even been directed to me, but never had he got as loud as he was being now. Harry’s clear green eyes were cold and held none of the love they were usually filled with whenever he looked at me. Instead, they bore into my gaze as sharp as blades while the voice I knew as calm and gentle turned loud and spat one insult after the other. All the while my headache increased into a pounding pain and my heart hammered in my chest as I witnessed him punch the wall to his side in frustration, completely unfazed by my flinch.

“You’re so fucking naive, Y/N!” Harry shouted and gave another forceful kick to the door frame separating me from him as I stood in the living room and he in his kitchen.

“Sometimes I question what the hell it is that’s taking up the space in you head you’d need to think properly for fucking once! I’d bet that there’s absolutely nothing in there!” He pointed against his own temple before raising his hand to point at me with a trembling finger.

“You don’t mean that, Harry,” I answered, my voice barely above a whisper as my throat felt as if it was in a tight knot.

My words were followed by his foot colliding with a chair and I crossed my arms over my chest as I willed myself not to jerk again. Though Harry was clearly more angry than he’d ever been in my presence, I knew he’d never direct the physical aspect of his rage at me.

“Oh, you better believe I do, baby!” he replied, the pet name cutting into me by the harshness in which he spat it, “You can be such a pain in the arse sometimes! I seriously wonder why I even bother anymore!”

“Stop it,” I begged and shook my head as if to keep the foul words to enter my mind.

“You wanna know why?” Harry asked, ignoring my plead. His ringed hand pulled at the sleeves of his jumper until they exposed his heavily tattooed arms, arms I was so used to holding me. His gentle gestures  seemed something of a dream as the man before me resembled nothing to the kind boyfriend I knew.

“No,” I replied and my voice hitched, “Harry, just stop.”

Finally his eyes met mine again and for a second, I believed I saw how it dawned on him, that this time, he’d gone too far. Harry knew that he couldn’t take his anger out on me. That I wouldn’t take it as I wasn’t one of the guys who just dealt with his moods.
I bit my lip as my ears still rang from his loudly spoken words. The room had gone quiet aside form the noises of distress that were escaping me still as I tried to calm myself down so I wouldn’t have a break down in front of him.

“Y/N, listen, I-”

I shook my head and stepped back. “No.”

He’d lost himself in front of me before, however, never like this. Never had he got this harsh with me. Early on in our relationship, I’d learned that Harry could very easily snap and switch from being the nicest person in the world, to the complete opposite. He’d become a person he had no control over and said or did the most hurtful things that came to his mind.
Though I somehow knew it wasn’t his fault, I’d made it clear that I couldn’t handle him when he got angry and Harry had understood that.
He took a step forward, yet stopped immediately when I raised my hand.

“You know you can’t be like that with me, Harry.”

A hiss fell from his lips and I watched him roll his eyes before he let his head roll back. Any sign of kindness left his face as he clearly found my words beyond ridiculous.
“Wow, Y/N. You’re really gonna pull that shit on me?”

“What shit?” I questioned.

“The: ‘Oh Harry, you’re just too mean to me. I can’t take it.’ bullshit. Come off of it. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

He turned around and walked to the sink where he filled himself a glass of water, as if the conversation was over to him.

“Is it really, Harry?” I asked and stepped forward, refusing to let it go, “You just called me stupid and your burden! Did you think I would just be okay with it?”

“No, but I-”

“You’re my boyfriend! How can you speak to me like that?”

“Stop making this a bigger deal than what it is,” Harry spoke dismissively.

He raised his hand and brought the glass to his lips, emptying it with a few gulps before setting it down so harshly I feared it’d break.

“You know my day has been nothing but shit,” I continued, “And then you go on and yell, when all I needed was for you to be there for me. Just today, Harry! For once, it could have been about someone other than you!”

This struck a nerve as he raised his eyebrows and I knew that now I’d angered him properly. I willed my feet not to move back when he, with a few strides, came to a stand in front of me. His face held an angry expression and his figure loomed over my shorter one, making me feel incredibly small.
My breath hitched when he leaned in closely and raised his hand to caress my cheek in a surprisingly gentle gesture. A grin appeared on his beautiful face at my reaction. There was no remorse or guilt in his eyes. Only anger and the knowledge that he’d found someone to take it out on.

“I always make everything about myself?” he wondered quietly, “Now you’re lying and you know that. How many times have you called me only to have somebody who’d listen to you bawling your eyes out?”

A quiet laugh escaped him and my heart dropped to my stomach. I shrugged off his touch. How dare he? Harry had become the only person I felt comfortable enough with to confide into and now he was so willing to rub it in my face. I knew he could be an asshole, but never like this.

“You jerk!” I hissed and pushed him back by his chest.

“How many times, huh?” he continued, the cruel smile still on his lips, as my forceful action had done nothing to him, “How often did I have to listen to your complaints while I was with the boys? My friends all with a girl on their lap and me with mine crying to me over the phone. They all got some while my phone bill got more and more expensive by the minute.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and shrugged.

“If only your problems would have at least made a good story to tell them later. Would’ve saved me some mocking, not gonna lie.”

“Harry!” I whimpered as tears stained my cheeks, “You said I could trust you with that.”

“Well, what else was I supposed to say?” he mocked me.

I shook my head before pushing past him, knocking into his shoulder in process. I made my way to the door with Harry following close behind.

“Where are you running to now, babe?”

I hastily slipped on my shoes before putting on my coat.

“Anywhere away from you, asshole!” I replied as I yanked the door open, only for it to be pushed close with force by his hand, preventing me from exiting his apartment.
My breath hitched when he stepped even closer, his breath fanning over my neck and his body heat radiating off on me. It was almost ironic really, given how cold he was being right now.

“And why would you do that, darling?” Harry purred into my ear as he leaned in close.

“I cannot deal with you when you’re being like this!” I spoke, still refusing to face him “and you know full well that you just crossed a line.”

I pulled at the door handle once more and groaned in frustration when it didn’t budge.

“Now let me out, for god’s sake! I’m done with you!”

“Fucking fine!” he exclaimed and let go of the door, allowing me to pull it back open and stepping out of his apartment with rage cursing through my veins and a broken heart thumbing in my chest.

….

My head was dizzy and my feet ached. After I had spent the last week falling right into bed the minute I got home where I cried and cursed Harry for being the asshole he was, one of my friends had decided that she’d had enough of it. She’d pushed me into a shower, forced me into one of her too-tight and too-short dresses and then dragged me to her favorite club. A place, where she was quick to abandon me at, so she could socialize with the dozens of people she knew.

I wrapped my bare arms around my waist and bit my lip. I didn’t want to be here, alone and surrounded by drunken strangers. At least, whenever Harry had brought me to a club, he’d never left my side. It had even been fun sometimes. But Harry hadn’t tried to reach out to me all week, not a call and not one single text. My eyes stung at the thought and I cursed myself for relying on him so much. That needed to change.
I stepped into the pool of dancing people. My body easily found the rhythm to the music and soon the awkwardness faded as I let myself relax.
However, it all faded when all of a sudden two hands settled on my hips and a body pressed itself against my back. I struggled to turn around, but once I did my breath hitched. I’d never seen the stranger who held me to him before.

“Aren’t you a pretty one?” he spoke, his voice deep as it came out like a low grunt.

The man wasn’t exactly unattractive, yet he made me feel incredibly uncomfortable given how close he’d come, uninvited. His hair was blond and his figure tall and muscly as he towered over me. The stranger grinned when he noticed my gaze as he probably believed I was checking him out.

“Like what you see, babe?” he questioned and pulled me closer.

He, too, eyed me up and down with piercing blue eyes and a sickening feeling crawled up my throat as I noticed how his tall figure allowed him a perfect view down my dress. An approving hum escaped him and my entire body tensed.

“Let go,” I fought and tried to shrug off his hold. He, however, only tightened his grip on my waist.

“Now, now, we don’t want to make this a mess, do we? Wouldn’t wanna ruin all the fun we’re gonna have.”

I grimaced as his breath, smelling heavily of alcohol, hit my face and shook my head, my eyes searching for my friend. My body jumped when a pair of lips found the skin of my cheek in a wet kiss.

“Stop it! Get off of me!”

The stranger huffed and I whined when he moved to take hold of my hands. Before I knew it, I was pulled through the crowd of people and towards a darker corner from the club. All my struggles were for nothing and I cried out in frustration when I couldn’t loosen his hold.
Once we reached his desired destination, he pressed me up against the wall and positioned his body so that it shielded mine.
Frightful tears escaped my eyes as I realized that no one would come to my aid now. The man forced my arms up to press them both against the wall with one hand. The other settled onto my stomach as he began moving his palm, searching for any bare skin.

“Please, stop,” I whimpered and my body froze in shock from the unwanted touch.

“I didn’t come here by myself. My boyfriend,” I began to lie desperately, when his fingers found the hem of my dress, “he’s going to look for me, and-”

“I have been watching you,” the man interrupted me and I whimpered when his wet mouth pressed to the skin of my neck, liking and biting the skin. “There isn’t anyone with you. No need to try to make me jealous, baby.”

More tears fell from my eyes and my wrists hurt from his tight hold on them. I gasped when his knees pressed into my legs in an attempt to get them to part, crushing me further into the cold stone.

“C'mon baby,” he cooed, “be good for me.”

I whimpered and my lungs struggling for breath when the guy began to nip and suck on my skin.

“I don’t want to,” I repeated against his ear, my head dizzy from fear, “please stop.”

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing there?”

My stomach clenched in relief at the familiar voice, coming from right beside me and a small cry escaped my lips. Harry. I looked up and my eyes found his face, yet he his eyes weren’t set on me. Instead, his furious gaze was directed on the man who didn’t make any effort to let me go, while I tried to set all my focus onto Harry, desperately clinging to any distraction from the man assaulting me.

“Go away,” the stranger grunted, his head still pressed into my shoulder. “You can have your go when I’m done.”

My heart fell at the rough words and I whimpered, trying to shake off the man’s hold. Harry’s eyes darkened when he saw my attempts at freeing myself and for a moment his angry glare found my face.

“Don’t think that’s gonna work for me,” he growled, “Now do as I said.”

The stranger groaned in frustration and still remove himself, though, I knew if he’d see Harry’s angered expression he’d let go instantly.

“Mate, fuck off alre-”

The man cursed when he was swiftly pulled from my body, but was silenced when Harry knocked him further back with another forceful push to his shoulders.
My body came to life the moment my attacker let go and my lungs filled with all the air they’d been denied for too long. I quickly raised my aching arms to pull down my dress, covering the skin the man had managed to expose and I willed myself not to break into hysterics at the fear mixed with relief I felt. Harry had already positioned himself in front of me when I looked back up and warmth flooded through my body as I knew I was no longer in danger.

“You. Leave,” Harry said and raised a warning finger at the stranger, “Now. Or else I will rip off your head.”

Harry’s voice stayed surprisingly quiet and calm, yet his tone as sharp as a blade. My mind shot back to when Harry had raised his voice at me only a week ago and though I’d been afraid, I realized that I hadn’t seen the truly angry Harry then. Truly furious Harry wasn’t loud, but calm. He neither shout nor yell. This was even scarier, because there was no sign that could have indicated when he’d snap.
The blonde guy glared at Harry, anger clear in his eyes, yet I could tell that he wasn’t immune to Harry’s intimidating aura and he took a step back.

“What the hell, man? Wasn’t doing any harm, now was I?”

Harry’s back muscles tensed and I reached out to brush my fingers over his shoulder blades in an attempt to calm him. “Harry-”

“No harm?” Harry growled and took a step towards the man and out of my reach, “You were just molesting my girlfriend and you call that no harm?”

“Hey, c'mon man. She didn’t say anything 'bout a boyfriend,” the stranger defended in a nervous chuckle and looked around Harry as if he expected me to help him.

“But she told you 'no’ and you just ignored that.”

My chest tightened and I wished Harry would stop taunting him and let the strangers leave, if only so that we could go home.

“Harry, please let’s go,” I pleaded quietly.

It surprised me just as much as the two men how high and frantic my voice sounded, as if I’d cry at any moment. Green eyes found mine when he turned around and to my relief, a quick nod followed.

“I’ll let you off for it now,” Harry said, directed to the man but he was still looking at me, “but rest assured that I’m gonna remember you.”

His warm hand found my small one and once more I was pulled through the crowd of people. My feet struggled to keep up with Harry’s long strides but we both refused to let go of our interlocked fingers and so he slowed his pace a bit. He continued to pull me until we stepped outside where my aching lungs happily breathed in the fresh air. Finally he came to a halt in front of a black car that I recognized as his. He gently squeezed my fingers once more before releasing them so that he could unlock the vehicle.

“Harry, I-”

He silenced me by raising his hand. “Not here.”

Harry nodded towards the exit we had just come out of and I noticed a group of people staring at us. Of course they wanted to see what the famous Harry Styles was doing in a non-fancy club.

“We’ll talk in private, yeah? Get inside.”

“My friend, she-” I began, my voice shaking as I still hadn’t stopped trembling.

“I’ll text her later,” Harry interrupted, “I’ll let her know that you’re with me.”

He nodded to his car once more and this time I was quick to obey without questioning anything further. I settled into the passenger seat and the moment Harry sat down behind the steering wheel, my hand already reached out to take hold of his. Harry chuckled softly and squeezed my hand.

“Love, I need that hand for changing the gear,” he spoke quietly and lifted my hand to his lips where he pressed a kiss to the skin before gently setting it down onto my thigh.

He shot me a gentle smile, started the engine and drove off.
A breath escaped me and I relaxed further back into the leather seat. Every muscle in my body felt sore and it took everything I had to keep the tears at bay as I was crushed with emotion.

“Harry.”

“We’ll be at my flat in a bit, love. Okay?” Harry assured me calmly, “Will you be alright until then or do you need me to pull over?”

“No, it’s fine,” I murmured.

Harry nodded and reached forward to turn on the radio, knowing that the music would ease me.

….

“How did you know where to find me?”

I was sitting on one of Harry’s barstools in his kitchen, my torso dressed Harry’s Rolling Stone’s shirt and a pair of his black boxers hung from my hips. My fingers held the cup of hot chocolate Harry had made me as I stared up at Harry who stood in front of me. Both of our hair was wet after we’d taken turns at showering and the wet strands dropped onto his bare chest. Normally, his nakedness would have had me drooling over him, but after tonights events I was simply grateful that Harry and I had somehow forgotten about our argument.

“I have your friend on snapchat for some reason,” he replied while buttering the toast he was preparing for me, insisting that I needed to eat something. “Was receiving one picture of you two after the other, until it was only her. Figured something was going on.”

“She was excited to go,”  I muttered.

Harry shot me a glance and handed me the toast before taking a sip from his tea. “She’s a shit friend, Y/N. You shouldn’t hang out with her anymore.”

“She was trying to cheer me up,” I weakly defended her, but I knew he was right.

“Yeah, and then she left you alone with a pervert who would have done god knows what to you, if I hadn’t seen him pull you to the side.”

I whimpered at his words and put away the piece of bread as all the appetite was gone. Harry sighed and set down his cup before leaning down to wrap both of his arms around my waist. I quickly buried my face into his neck and  closed my eyes, breathing in the comforting smell of him as I allowed him to lift me up.

“M'sorry,” Harry murmured, “didn’t mean for that to come out this harsh. I know you’re shaken up by all this.”

“It’s okay,” I whispered back and cuddled myself further into Harry’s chest.

I welcomed his closeness and the security he provided as my heart slowly began to calm down.

“My baby,” Harry hummed against the shell of my ear, before his lips found my neck, “S'all over now, okay? S'done.”

“I know,” I whispered, and tried to push away the memory of a different pair of lips that had touched the same spot only hours ago.

Sensing that I was uncomfortable he tightened his hold and hoisted me up. “C'mon. We should go to bed.”

I nodded and allowed him to carry me to his bedroom. My body was placed onto the bed and I smiled when Harry carefully covered me with his bedsheets.

“Good?” he asked, “Warm enough?”

He waited for my nod before slipping under the sheets himself.

“I like that we’ve slept together in your bed so often that we have established sides,” I whispered.

Harry chuckled and wrapped his arms around my waist so I could lay my head on his chest. “S'your bed as much as it’s mine, love. And if m'not wrong, your 'side’ is on top of me.”

I giggled and nodded, knowing how true his statement was.

“Are you feeling any better?”

“Much,” I replied, “Thank you.”

“Of course,” he hummed and took a deep breath before asking, “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No, Harry. He didn’t.”

He nodded and pressed a kiss to my head. “M'glad.”

I hummed and cuddled my face further into his neck, my arms squeezing him tightly. The room was quiet aside from our breathing or the occasional kisses we left on each other’s skin. I took a deep breath as I let myself be consumed by him, happiness flooding my body at the relief.

“I never want to go that long without talking again,” I confessed.

Harry sighed. “I need to say sorry for that, don’t I? Was being such an asshole.”

“Yeah, you were.”

Harry moved so that he could hover over my body. His lips found my collarbones in a soft kiss and his hands squeezed my waist. His green eyes settled on my face and it warmed my body when I noticed how loving and warm they were.

“I love you and I’m so sorry, Y/N. I promise to never be like that with you again.”

“I don’t want you to be like that with anyone, though,” I replied and leaned forward to kiss his cheek softly. “You’re so much better than that.”

“I know,” he whined and reorganized the blankets so he could cover our heads with them as well.

I giggled at the makeshift cave he’d created and moved my hands to hold him by his neck, so I could make out where his face was in the sudden darkness. His own fingers found the hem of the shirt I was wearing and began moving his thumb against the skin of my hips.

“You did hold your ground, though. Was quite proud of that.”

“Shouldn’t have to,” I replied, “I get that arguments are bound to happen in a relationship, but not like this, Harry. Can’t have you purposely hurt me just 'cause you’re angry.”

I gasped when another kiss was pressed to my jaw and giggled when his hair tickled my cheek. This gentle and kind Harry was the person I loved and was used to. Of course I didn’t want to end our relationship, but I knew I never wanted to feel afraid of him again.

“You scared me,” I whispered.

Harry whimpered at that and pressed himself further into my arms. “M'sorry. I’ll work on my anger, I swear.”

I nodded and squeezed him. “That’s all I’m asking for.”

Harry pressed another kiss to my cheek. “I promise.”

Thank you for reading this! I hope you liked it. Feedback is welcome!

In case this one shot has for some reason been offensive to you, as it has offended someone in the past, please read this: 

http://harryimaginedstories.tumblr.com/post/155997901418/your-anger-imagine-is-disgusting-you-are-seriously

Rest of what I wrote: 

http://harryimaginedstories.tumblr.com/post/144920695218/masterlist


B.A.P coming home to find their S/O crying: Jongup

Originally posted by j-miki

Nobody requested this, but this was one of three drabbles I wrote a while back, and I was highly encouraged to post it, so thank you @jion-a @daestopiaa @fae-hyun @anna-something @sangdoldol and @happy-daes! ♥♥♥

Walking down the hall with a little bounce in his step, Jongup pulled out the key to your apartment, more than excited to see your face after a long day at the studio. He smiled as he remembered when you first gave him the key; you weren’t normally shy, but that day, you had been acting so off that Jongup actually thought he had accidentally made you uncomfortable. When he asked if you wanted him to leave, he was surprised when you told him that you wanted the exact opposite - you took his hand, placed the key in his palm, and told him you wanted him to feel at home with you, that your door was always open if he needed or wanted, and he remembers his heart was about ready to beat out of his chest. It didn’t help that you were being extremely cute, looking all flustered as if you thought he’d actually say no. That didn’t last long however because he began to tease you about it, and you began to sass him like usual. He didn’t leave till the next morning, truly feeling at home in your cozy little apartment. You were both in your own little world together that only you two understood, and he couldn’t wait to be back in that world.

Keep reading

New Moon in Taurus on April 26, 2017 🌕

The New Moon on April 26 falls in the practical, earthy sign of Taurus which reminds us to move slowly and double check things before moving forward.

Taurus energy is all about ensuring that you have created a solid, safe, and secure foundation by guiding us to review our “comfort zone.”

The energy from this particular New Moon may not be felt right away because Taurus energies moves at its own pace and is very methodical.

When the Taurus energies do finally hit, multiple retrograde energies are going to amplify these feelings, whether they are good or bad.

During this New Moon, solitude is best so that you are able to fully utilize this time for intense introspective thought and meditation.

Taurus energies are in place for you to analyze your past, so that you can let go of any foundational burdens and truly free your soul.

Helpful affirmations specifically set for the New Moon in Taurus on April 26, 2017:

• I consciously choose to connect with and nurture the Divinity within me.

• I claim what is mine and let go of what is not meant for me.

• I am free from the fundamental burdens that have weighed me down in the past.

• I am safe and secure in my Divinely protected comfort zone.

🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕

‪Full/New Moon rituals are for anyone with an open mind, heart, and soul with pure intentions who want to utilize these fresh energies.

If you need any help getting started, message me privately; please DO NOT post your intentions publicly.

As always, happy ritualizing ✨

❤️Follow me for more:
Twitter @queenhb
Instagram @thequeenhaleybrooke

This is a reminder to release the burdens on your heart to God. You don’t have to handle these burdens on your own. You don’t have to handle them at all! God wants to help you. Let Him takeover in your life.

Placing our burdens into the hands of people, including ourselves, is risky because things can get crazy and not go well, but placing our burdens into the hands of God is one of the best things we can do because God will give us peace when we do that and we can rest assured knowing that things will be great when we let go and trust God. God doesn’t want us to handle our own burdens because He knows how hard it is for us to do so!

Again, please let God takeover in your life! Stop holding on to everything and trying to do things on your own. We have a Mighty God who is willing to take everything that hurts us and handle it all for us. Let God take over dear friend, let the pain go and let all your burdens go and place things into the hands of God!

Please remember what Matthew 11:28 (NIV) says,

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

I love yall so much because Jesus does! I hope this uplifts someone today!! Much love and God Bless yall!

Things I want to tell the signs ( based on people I know )
  • Aries: happiness and love and lust are infinite. You won't run out of them. Remember the difference between being selfish and putting yourself first for your own good. No one is going to punish you for the latter. Stick to faking it till you made it. I know you'll make it. And it'll all be as real as you are, and it'll be overwhelming.
  • Taurus: you are capable of so much more than you think you are. You are not a supporting role, you are the star in a movie with a happy ending. Life will reward you for being so patient, supportive and kind. I'm sorry you're being underappreciated so often. You deserve the world and more. I wish I could protect you, but I know you're strong enough to save yourself.
  • Gemini: people will judge you before they try to understand. Don't waste your time on those who don't bother to really get to know you, they don't deserve to be around you, anyway. Your reputation is a shield. You can be cruel, you can be cold, but those who accuse you of having stabbed their back don't see the open wounds on yours. You're a book with many pages. Don't let them take the pen from you.
  • Cancer: let go. Let go of the past, let go of your fear, let go of your worries. The burden on your chest is only heavy cause you cling to it. Nothing bad is going to happen if you dare a little more and fear a little less. Forgive and forget. You're going to be okay. Don't hold on to your grudges. Hold on to your hope for a good future. It'll pay off to move on.
  • Leo: barking dogs never bite, roaring lions don't do, either. You're too afraid of coming off weak to put down your grim mask, but it's time for you to realise that vulnerability doesn't make you less of a respectable person. You don't need to be intimidating to be admired, and you don't need to hurt people to leave an impression. Even when you're at a low point, you'll always have someone looking up to you. Why are you so scared of being scared?
  • Virgo: it doesn't have to hurt to be real. It doesn't have to be perfect to be worth it. It doesn't have to be everything to be enough. It doesn't have to be complete to be fullfilling. You don't have to be numb to be safe from negative feelings. It doesn't have to overwhelm you to have a meaning. You don't have to shut down to protect yourself. You don't have to be so cruel to keep people at distance. It's not a game just cause you like to play. You don't always have to be the winner.
  • Libra: to me, you're like the ocean. You come and go, you give and take. You can be dangerous and wild, you can be calm and steady. No matter what, when I'm with you, I feel home. You're a blessing to the people around you. Full of surprises, yet reliable. Daring, yet reasonable. You do not have to choose.You can be all of it and everything you want to be. Having a libra as a friend means having a friend for a lifetime without the boredom of having gotten used to something, because one can impossibly get used to you. Always remember your worth.
  • Scorpio: you're the kind of person people write about. You will be remembered. For what you did and who you are. Trust your guts. Your feelings are valid. You will prove them all wrong, everyone who ever doubted you, and when they'll come to apologise, you will be mature enough to forgive them. I wish I was more like you.
  • Saggitaurus: the last song at a rock show, fireworks in July, the first bite of a good meal after being hungry for so long, that's what you are to me. You're a radiant, powerful person, an achiever, you don't just talk, you act on it. But let me tell you, you'll still succeed even when you lower the pressure you put on yourself. I can promise you that you'll reach your destination even if you slow down cause your feet startet aching a long time ago. Give yourself a rest. You deserve it.
  • Capricorn: when someone says they value you, they mean it. When someone says they want you in their life, they mean it. When someone says you're beautiful, they're right. Learn to trust others. Yes, you can always rely on yourself. Yes, in the end, you only got yourself. But there's plenty of people out there who see your potential and want to help you and be there for you. There's many people out there who enjoy spending time with you. You won't lose yourself if you give a bit yourself to others.
  • Aquarius: how do you do it? What is your secret? You're a mystery to me. We could spend each day of the week together, talk for hours, because talking to you is stimulating, inspiring, refreshing, and you could tell me about yourself, but I'd still feel like I could never possibly know everything about you and get a grip of who you really are. You're a painting in pale colours that has come to life and it's blurry around the edges. But that's exactly what completes you: The lack of edges. The infinity of all the possible answers to the questions I want to ask you.
  • Pisces: don't confuse taking things easy with being too careless. You might end up hurting someone without even wanting to. Don't confuse being wanted with being loved. You deserve more than just their appreciation, so don't settle for less just cause it's easier. Sometimes you have to pull yourself together and face the ugly truth, but if you've made it through the storm, your life will be a beach by sunset and all you've ever dreamed of will come true.
Not in the Mood for Love - Epilogue

|Part 1| |Part 2| |Part 3| |Part 4| |Part 5| |Part 6| 

Member: Park Jimin

Genre: Angst and fluff

Word Count: 880

Summary: 1 argument is all it took to break off a 3 year relationship. Everything was a lie, nothing mattered anymore. Staying in your town was only killing you more and more each day so you decided to move to a new town and to a new life. You knew you wouldn’t be ready for a new relationship, you wouldn’t be able to handle any more emotional trauma.

A/N: Thank you everyone for sticking with me and this series. As a new writer I’m very grateful and that so many of you enjoyed reading this. Hopefully you will continue to read my works (SPOILER: my next series is based off of the title of the tv show, “How I Met Your Mother.” 😁😉) Again, thank you so very much for supporting me and I hope that you will enjoy this final part to “Not in the Mood for Love.” Please tell me how I did and what I can improve on! Any feedback is great feedback and again, thank you xx  

Originally posted by suga-com

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are now approaching Tokyo. We advise you to put on your seatbelt now as there will be some turbulence.” The flight attendant said as you were approaching the last moments of your flight. From the plane window, the bright lights of Tokyo only looked like little specs of dust and glitter. 

You had been anticipating for this trip for a while now. During your healing time, there were moments where everywhere you looked had traces of your ex. When you moved to Busan, you knew nothing and knew no one. Everything began the moment you opened up Serenity Cafe. A handsome man came by everyday, always trying something new from the menu and would sit by the window seat. If he hadn’t left his notebook, you may have never truly met him. Never got to have the tour of Busan, never got to let go of all your burdens, and never have got to be free.

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Rolling Stones for the Signs
  • Aries: Midnight Rambler//"He don't go in the light of the morning. He split the time the cock'rel crows."
  • Taurus: Wild Horses//"You know I can't let you slide through my hands. Wild horses couldn't drag me away."
  • Gemini: Sympathy for the Devil//"Pleased to meet you, hope you guess my name. But what's puzzling you, is the nature of my game."
  • Cancer: Miss You//"Well, I've been haunted in my sleep.
  • You've been staring in my dreams. Lord I miss you."
  • Leo: You Can't Always Get What You Want//"I saw her today at the reception, a glass of wine in her hand. I knew she would meet her connection. At her feet was a footloose man."
  • Virgo: Beast of Burden//"I'll never be your beast of burden, so let's go home and draw the curtains. Music on the radio"
  • Libra: Take it or Leave it//"You take it or leave it, it's just my life. Oh, la-la-la-ta-ta-ta-ta-la-la-la-la."
  • Scorpio: Paint it Black//"I see a red door and I want it painted black. No colors any more, I want them to turn black."
  • Sagittarius: Dead Flowers//"Take me down little Susie, take me down. I know you think you're the queen of the underground, and you can send me dead flowers every morning."
  • Capricorn: Gimme Shelter//"Gimme, gimme shelter, or I'm gonna fade away."
  • Aquarius: Doom and Gloom//"I had a dream last night that I was piloting a plane, and all the passengers were drunk and insane."
  • Pisces: Happy//"I need a love, baby won't ya keep me happy?
  • Baby, won't ya keep me happy?"
EXO React when they hear about your sad past [warning:trigger]

So this request can bring sad memories or be difficult for some people. If you had a sad past, troubles or so and you could feel hurt, offended, etc please don’t continue. I wanted to write this to support the girl who sent this, so please don’t misunderstand.

Admin A~

/I don’t own any of the gifs used, unless stated otherwise/

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Let the hate go. Let it all go.


The burdens that you’ve been keeping inside your heart. The darkness that surrounds it. Please do not keep that baggage with you forever. I know, it’s the hardest thing to do, but how will you be able to know if it’s worth it if you wouldn’t even want to give it a try? This time, listen to your heart carefully. Close your eyes and let it flow. Let the feelings run through. Please remember, that we aren’t living in the past. You aren’t in the same position as you were years ago. This is the present. This is what you should be thinking of.

—  Lessons of Life // 23.9.2017
“Love yourself”

Request from anon: Joey how are you doing ? I really liked the imagine you wrote : is there something on my face. And I’d really like to know if it’s possible for you to continue it. I feel could really find myself in that girl and your writing is amazing. That would make my day ! Love you 😘 and thank u already if you keep writing that short story ♥️ Joey? LOL I kind of got this idea from MMFD 

Part 1

Y/N’s POV

“You’re lying.” Tez voice hushed. “You’ve been dating for a year now and she’s still scared to show you her body? That’s ridiculous.” He says. “What’s the matter? She’s scared you’re going to judge her and break up with her if you don’t like what you see?” J asks. “Now that I think about it,” G says, “I rarely see you touching her sometimes. How often do you touch her body?” He points out. I just overhear Sam sighing. “I touch her body, just in private. Before she used to be scared.. She has lighten up a little but, I don’t know.” “So what, are you losing feeling over this?” Nate asks and I feel my heart beating faster, scared to hear his response. “NO! No! Of course not!” I started breathing again. “I don’t have a problem with it. I just feel like, she’s holding back on something. Something she’s not telling me.” “Maybe she’s just uncomfortable with her body Sam.” I heard Taylor’s voice. 

“Taylor!” He says loudly. “Has Y/N ever told you something and told you not to tell me? A secret about her past or something? I don’t know…” “No. Even if she did, I wouldn’t tell you. Because that’s none of my business to tell you. It’s hers. Look, why don’t you just ask her? You guys have been dating for a year now, i’m sure she would tell you if you just ask her.” “Have you noticed she’s been ashamed of her body?” Sam asks her and she sighs, “Yeah. I’ve noticed. I’ve been trying to give her confidence but, things just keep making her shell up more.” “Please, Taylor,” I hear Sam’s voice state in a worried tone, “Please help her be more confident about herself. Help her to love herself. Y/N is a beautiful human being, inside and out. And I’m afraid if she shells in too much, she’ll break, and then she’ll leave me.” “I’ll try.” I hear them get up and hug. 

My body that was leaned up against the wall, started sliding down, as I was in front of the house of Hayes and Nate’s. I was supposed to bring them food. And once I arrived, the door was open, but not the screen door. I overheard everything they said. I overheard what Sam is thinking, worrying, scared about. It’s been a little over a year since the coffee shop. We’ve gotten to know each other, a lot. But, I’m still scared about talking to him about certain things, especially about what I love, or feel comfortable in my own skin. I looked through the screen door and saw no one in the living room anymore. I slowly opened the screen door, tip toed in, put the food on the table, and left, going home. Once I got home, I stood in front of the mirror, looking at myself, my body. 

I inhaled deeply, started taking one piece of clothing off, little by little. Each item taken off, I would stare at myself for a minute, before continuing. My scarf, my jacket, my hoodie, my tee shirt. I looked at myself in the mirror, counting breaths. I took off my jeans, leaving my in my bra and tank top and underwear and spandex. I looked at every single inch of my body. “Love yourself.” I kept whispering to myself, to help convince me to keep going. As soon as I tried to take off my tank top, I looked in the mirror and saw the word, “UGLY” written on it. I blinked a couple times and it disappeared. When I looked up at it again, it said “FAT” I tried shaking it off. “UNWANTED” I started breathing heavy. “STRETCH MARKS” I started backing away from the mirror till I reached the wall in the back, sliding down, tearing running down my face. “I just don’t get it..” 


“Y/N?” I heard a voice and knock creak through the door. I just lied still on the bed, as the person walks in, sitting on the bed next to me. “Y/N, it’s Taylor. How are you feeling?” I just mumbled. She starts rubbing my back. “Sam told me you had a freak out last time. Are you okay? You know you can tell me anything, right?” I lied there, scared to talk to her about it because she was one of the most confident person I know. And I absolutely adore her for that. For the past year, she’s been trying to teach me how to be confident, how to love yourself, how to feel comfortable in your own skin. But no matter what, I still can’t. I sat up from the bed, wiping my tears. “Awww, come here baby girl.” She says, throwing her arms around my neck, pulling my into a hug, as I broke down in tears again. “What’s the mater? Tell me what’s wrong, please…” Her voice saddened. 

“Taylor, I just don’t get it…” “Get what babe?” She pulls away from me, looking in my eyes. “I don’t get it…” I cried out. “Sam should be dating girls like you, or Stass, or Kylie, or Kendell, or Jordyn or Madison. Someone who’s comfortable in their own freaking skin. Someone who loves the way they look. Who’s confident. Someone who doesn’t hate themselves. Someone who has a better body than I do..” I tried controlling my breathing and the tears from falling. “He doesn’t deserve someone like me..” I cried under my breath. “Hey, look at me.” She grabs my face, and lifts it up to look at her. “But he does deserve someone like you! You are his dream girl. Y/N, listen to me, you are one of the most smartest, funniest, kindest, soft hearted soul I have ever known. Not only that, you are so beautiful. And I hate it when you don’t give yourself enough credit. Do you know how happy you make him? How much the gang loves you?” She wipes my tears away,

“How fucking beautiful you are? I know these past few months I’ve been pushing you to feel comfortable in your skin, to be confident, to love yourself. And I’m sorry for pushing you. Loving yourself takes time. And I should’ve given you time. I should’ve known better than to push someone. So let’s rewind and start over, yeah?” I nod at her. “Let’s start off with something I forgot to do in the beginning because I was too busy wanting to rush it… How did you get this way? And still like this..” She asks, and I started fidgeting. “I promise I won’t tell Sam.” She grabs my hand and squeezes it. I inhaled deeply. “I was always like this. No one taught me to love myself. No one told me I was beautiful. I was always on my own in this world. Against my family, friends, classmates.” I counted my breaths. 

“In high school, people stared at me because I didn’t look like the girls in my school.” “What do you mean? You are the perfect size.” “I’m a size 8. Girls at my school were a size 0-2. Boys would always make fun of me. Girls would criticize me in the bathroom. And that was adding after being known as the quiet girl. I was never brave. I couldn’t enjoy what I looked like, when my entire life, I was made fun of what I looked like. Every corner in my life, I was criticized. You guys are the first people who never judged me on my looks. Sam is the first guy to ever give me the time of day like that.” I continued playing with my fingers. 

“Fuck. Them.” Taylor says. “Fuck every single person in your life who has ever put you down because you didn’t look a certain fucking way. You are drop dead gorgeous. No one in this world is perfect. Truth be told. Alright?” She tries to lighten up the atmosphere. “You keep comparing yourself to other girls. You keep trying to be like someone you’re not. Stop putting on a mask and this armor and start being yourself. If you’re hurt, show that you’re hurt. Don’t smile and hope it will go away. Don’t let pain take over your life.” “Pain is all I know.. Pain is all I feel..” I said, sniffling. “Let that pain go. Stop that burden from controlling your life.” She moves my hair from covering my face and behind my ear. “You are so beautiful. Whether you believe it or not. We believe it. Every single one of us. And until that day comes where you learn to love yourself, take your time to feel comfortable in your own skin.” “C-can I practice on you…?” I whispered. She nods as I get up from the bed, taking in 3 deep breaths. 

I slowly start taking off my clothes. Leaving me in what I left off yesterday. I started hesitating to take off my tank top to just be in my bra, shaking. “Let me help.” A voice right behind me says, having the courage to do what I can’t do. As the tank top came off, my eyes were closed, scared to see their reactions, breaths shaky. I open my eyes, Taylor gone but someone’s hands on my sides, and lips kissing my shoulder. “You are so beautiful.” I heard Sam’s voice whisper. He wraps one arm around my torso, and one arm over my shoulder down my chest, pulling me against his body, as i cried in his arms. “I’m sorry…” I cried out. “No no no no no..” He kisses my head, rocking me side to side, “Don’t be sorry. I’m not mad. Okay? I just want you to feel better about yourself. I’m willing to wait until you’re ready. Please don’t beat yourself up for this, please baby. I love you no matter what. You are so beautiful inside and out, never forget that.” As he kept saying reassuring words to me, I started to relax. 

He sat me down on the bed, and squatted in front of me. He grabs my hand in his, looking up at me, “Remember to always love yourself, and to always be yourself. If you don’t feel comfortable, especially when we have a pool day or go to the beach, let. Me. Know. If you are still struggling about feeling comfortable in your own skin, tell. Me. I want to be there for you. Okay? No matter what you’re insecure or scared about. I’m there for you. Okay?” “Okay.” I smile, a couple tears running down my face. “This is a huge step right now. Just being in your bra like this. How do you feel?” I started laughing at myself, wiping the tears, “F-free. Haha.” “Good, that’s good. You don’t have to do this all at once, okay? Taking the rest off. Do it, when you’re ready to show me.” He gets up, hugging me. “It feels nice just being in my bra and spandex.” I told him as he sits next to me. “Good. You look good too.” He winks, making me blush. Taylor comes in through the door, “And when the time comes, in the future, I want to put you on my blog and instagram called the naked diaries. To show the world you’re perfect and beautiful, but human too.” She sits on the other side of me, and hugs me. I feeling of relief went through my body. Because the first step into loving yourself, is to feel loved, just a little bit. 


Everything I said in this is so true for those of you who are going through insecurities about their bodies and what they look like. I know it is a tough time. Whether you believe it or not, I believe you are beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. For more information on Taylor Giavasis’ body acceptance and naked diaries, check out her instagram and how it inspires people to be comfortable in their own skin. 
https://www.instagram.com/thenakediaries/

youtube

Gentle Yoga || 25-Minute Gentle Yoga Sequence

Yoga With Adriene writes:

Mindful yoga. Energetic hygiene! Practice self care, self love and take some time for you. Connect to your breath and body and let go of your stress energy, worries and burdens. With a focus on action, alignment and breath, this practice features a nice tempo to find what feels good and listen to the body. This sequence is easy on the wrists and great for the spine. A good practice for those new to yoga - also great for fast paced yogis who want to keep a healthy and well balanced yoga practice. Enjoy!

anonymous asked:

I keep crying over the smallest things and it's stupid and embarrassing please help

Dear Anon, Feeling normal sadness over real things in what is an undeniably sad is one thing, putting yourself on an emotional roller coaster over things that might happen is another. I’m also an emotional person, very sensitive, and always cry at the smallest things. Or at least, I used to be. I learned that crying won’t change or help with anything. Now, I just brush it off and forget about it. Sometimes, it’s okay to cry and let it all out instead of have it all bottled up. But, you also need to seek happiness. Always think positive. Go explore the beautiful world around you. Hang out and talk to your friends. Talking to other people: family, friends, counselors is a great way to let go of that burden of yours, no matter how small the situation.

I think Evelyn Lim gave the best advice on how to love yourself:

1. Fall in love with yourself. Think about what makes you You. Just like a flower that needs watering to grow, learn to nurture yourself in every way. Love yourself for all the good that you see and accept your flaws and the fact that you are imperfect. This does not mean that you do not learn to change from your shortcomings; instead, you are being gentle and kind to yourself despite all your “flaws”. Look in the mirror and fall in love with the reflection that is You.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.”
Oscar Wilde quotes (Irish Poet, Novelist, Dramatist and Critic, 1854-1900)

2. Eliminate Self Criticism. Do you often berate yourself over the tiniest thing? Is there a little voice inside your head that often tells you that you are no good because you are stupid or make mistakes. If you find that you criticize yourself often, make an effort to stop the self criticism.

“I CAN is 100 times more important than IQ.” — unknown

3. Be Kind And Positive. When you start to think kindly and positively about yourself, the love you have for yourself just grows. Make it a habit to praise yourself everyday, while in the front of the mirror. Because of such thoughts, you naturally undertake empowering actions that support your development.

4. Acknowledge Your Effort. It is not always about winning or coming up tops in everything that you do. Many times, it is the effort that counts! Acknowledge that you have done your best, even if you have failed to produce tangible results.

5. Let Go Of Worry. Loving yourself requires you to let go of your worry. It is a horrible way to live a life filled with constant worrying. I can attest to that! Worry does not help in any way. It cannot, on its own, make things happen. Only wise actions can! So instead of worrying, spend time thinking about what you can do to help in the situation. If the situation is beyond your control, then make a request to the Universe/God about what you want. Next, surrender your outcome.

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.” — Epictetus quotes (Greek philosopher associated with the Stoics, AD 55-c.135)

6. Trust Yourself. Have confidence in your abilities. Know that you have the ability to make important changes for yourself, for as long as you put your heart to it. You can also support yourself by visualizing desired outcomes.

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”
Benjamin Spock quotes (American Pediatrician and Author, 1903-1998)

7. Forgive Yourself. If you have made mistakes in the past that had caused you to feel less worthy, then you need to forgive yourself. All of us make mistakes; so there really is no need to beat yourself up over them. Also, if you have been carrying around a baggage of emotional hurt because of a childhood trauma, learn to forgive yourself.

“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
Lewis B. Smedes quotes

8. Be Truthful To Yourself. Loving yourself requires you to be truthful about your own feelings. If you are happy, acknowledge the joy. If you are sad, acknowledge the sorrow. When you are truthful about your feelings, you do not try to lie to yourself or seek to bury your negative emotions. Instead, acknowledging what you feel provides a good guide to what your thoughts are. And as we all know, thoughts can be changed, so that healing and self growth can take place.

9. Grow Spiritually. When you spend time growing spiritually, loving yourself becomes automatic. You become more peaceful, connected, kind, loving and compassionate. You nurture a mind that grows more beautiful by the day. You naturally love yourself in the process.

10. Make Positive Affirmations Everyday. Reframe your mind with positive affirmations. For instance, say this to yourself “I love and accept myself completely and unconditionally.” Read your affirmations out loud several times a day.

11. Express Gratitude. Express gratitude for the person that you are. For instance, cultivate an appreciation for your strengths and gifts. Also, feel a sense of gratitude that you are alive and well, and fully capable of making a difference in your life.

12. Nurture Your Dreams. Why deny yourself your dreams? When you nurture your dreams, you would love the life that you are leading. Every moment that you live is a joy because you are expressing yourself fully.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. —Mark Twain

13. Boost Your Self Confidence. Make a deliberate attempt to look for opportunities that can help improve your confidence. For instance, if you are particularly good at doing something, set aside more time to indulge and improve your skills on it. Knowing that you have particular gifts can boost your self esteem.

14. Relax. Give yourself space to take breaks every now and then. If you spend your time working, without paying attention to your health, it also means that you do not love yourself well enough to take care of your own body. Fill your time with silence, soothing music and visions of beauty; anything that nourishes your Soul.

15. Have Fun. Inject some fun into your life. Life is meant to be an enjoyable. Don’t take life or yourself too seriously. If you can think of life in this manner, you automatically relax and quit worrying over things that do not matter.

16. Look After Your Body. It is important that you strengthen yourself with proper nutrition and regular exercise. Your body is a temple and you should treat it with respect, love and care. It has been found that the lack of self love is often the root causes of conditions like eating disorders, obesity or even terminal diseases.

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live.”
Jim Rohn quotes (American Speaker and Author. He is famous for motivational audio programs for Business and Life. )

17. Learn To See Beauty. When you learn to see beauty in every thing, you will also see beauty in yourself. Hence, stop to smell the flowers. Notice everything. Feel everything. The pink blush of the flowers in your garden, the greenness of the plains, the whisper of the gentle wind, or the myriad hues of an evening sky.

Hope this helps! Please let me know if you have any other questions.

Love,
Christina

Imagine being a friend of Sherlock, one of the closetst, though he doesn’t have much friends. You know he sometimes has periods when he feels really bad, he once told you he sometimes felt like he was a burden for everyone he loved and that he sometimes just wanted to go away. And one morning, you are barly awake, you feel a pain in your chest, you apparently know there is something wrong with Sherlock, so you try to call him. The number, your phone tells you, is not available. So you call Mycroft and ask if he has seen Sherlock. He answers not since yesterday when they had a big fight and Mycroft told Sherlock once again that he was the dumber brother and just a difficulty for him. Though you are angry and you can not understand how Mycroft could be that heartless towards his younger brother you thank him and take a cab to the airport. 
There, at the gate, waiting for the flight to Hungary, he stands. Seeming small and little, sad and downcast. “Sherlock!”, you shout, running towards him and hugging him tight. “Why are you here? How did you find me?”, the tall, pale man sobs. “Shhh! Everything is alright! I knew you are in trouble!”, he begins to quietly cry, hanging on your shoulder: “Let me go! You know I am just a burden, too difficult to handle!” “Hey, you know that is not true! Mycroft didn’t mean it like that! And even if he did: You are no burden for me! I will always be there for you! I’ll never leave you! You know that you can always come to me!”, you slowly kiss his forehead and take his hand to go home and care for him…

For those that woke up today so burdened inside that they couldn’t enjoy the warmth of the sunlight hugging their skin, I just want to say it gets better. You don’t have to give into a fate of misery. You don’t have to wake up tomorrow weighed down and defeated. You can choose to let go of the thoughts that do not make you strong. You can choose to let go of the wounds that only break you apart. You can choose to walk away from situations and people who continue to mistreat you.

You are not deserving of misery. You are not deserving of agony. You are not deserving of neglect, abuse, hate, or manipulative games. You deserve to wake up feeling safe and free in your skin. You deserve to take up space. You deserve good, sweet, honest, and respectful love. You deserve community. You deserve good things. You are worthy of good things. You can have good things.

Let go. Let go of the burdens crushing your spirit. Let go of the negativity destroying your self esteem. Let go of the toxic relationships that do nothing but tear you apart. Let go of all the bad, and embrace all the good.

I want you to fall asleep knowing life doesn’t have to be miserable.
I want you to wake up tomorrow lighter, brighter, and whole.

Don’t give up.

— 

With love,

Dele

Okay, a personal question. When was the last time you set your burden down? I mean just let things go for a few hours or a day? How long must you carry that load until you feel entitled to rest your weary bones?