How can I get my friend to ask his flatmate out already?
These two blokes have been living together for years now – well, except for when my mate was dead and then when the other one was married – and they’ve never been just flatmates, if you know what I mean. They live in one another’s pockets, and we all thought they were together for months, the way one would turn up like a bad penny wherever the other one went. Turned out they weren’t when the one I knew from before went and pretended to commit suicide, only no one knew it was pretend. The other one mourned for months, and one night when he was drunk he told me his biggest regret was never telling the dead one how he felt.
Then the dead one came back, and I figured that was it, right? But the bloke – not the dead one – kept right on with the woman he’d started dating, and ended up marrying her, even though they didn’t even seem to like each other. It was a weird wedding, especially with the first bloke as best man and basically declaring undying love for his friend.
It wasn’t long after that the first one got shot and almost really died, and the other one isn’t married anymore – no one’s sure what happened to the wife, but she’s out of the picture – and why can’t they just get together before something else happens? My mate – the dead-not-dead one – always says I’m clueless, but why can’t he see what’s right in front of him?
DI Has A Clue