sometimes the best medicine is just taking a break from the world. finding a little corner of the universe and allowing yourself to sit down and just breathe. to recuperate. because the truth is, life isn’t a straight path. it’s curvy and bumpy and filled with mountains and oceans for you to cross and you can’t keep running on empty and expect yourself to thrive. eventually you will break down and need some road-side assistance and that’s okay! take a break. get some rest. make the call. hold someone’s hand. allow yourself room to heal and to better yourself. the world is yours, you have all the time you need to heal, so take some today.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned from Jessa is: the only way to experience closeness with someone is if you are your authentic self. Which she so often isn’t and which is why she finds herself so detached. Which she finds to be cool or has for a long time. But it’s really not serving her anymore.
1. Growing up doesn’t happen all at once. Being persistent in trying is half the battle won.
2. Loneliness can feel a lot like love in the middle of the night. Any text intended to be sent past 2AM can wait until the next day. If your feelings were true, they would still be valid in the morning.
3. Treat people kindly no matter what you’re going through. You will want to be remembered for being that person.
4. You don’t have to change who you are in order to fit in, but it is important to accommodate other’s differences and comfort in your presence. What you think is a small gesture may mean the world to another person.
5. Love on your family, near and far. You never know which hug may be the last.
6. Friends and family may be your support system, but only you can pick up your broken pieces. Accept that you are all that you have.
7. People change. Most times without prior notice, often with no explanation. Wish them well on their way, and move on with your life.
8. Holding onto the things not meant for you will only kill you. Letting them go will set you free.
9. Starting from the bottom does not mean that you’re losing out. It means that your journey forward can only be an uphill one.
10. Thy will be done. Some days you are going to question God’s ways, but you know that His will is ultimately what’s best.
11. It is more important to live your life looking forward than it ever is looking back.
12. You will never forget the people who were kind to you, especially when they didn’t have a reason to be. You will carry a piece of them with you wherever you go.
13. Appreciate everything that you have, even the little things. You don’t get to keep it all forever.
14. When God closes a door, He opens a window. Keep your eyes open to see the silver linings.
15. Not everybody will understand you. But those that do, never forsake them. Never leave them.
16. Sometimes you’ll need to lose yourself in order to be found, then reformed, to be much better than you ever were.
17. Block out the noise that surround you, and focus on yourself. You will move mountains, you will fight. It is you that will bring you places.
18. Peace and contentment comes from living your life from the inside out rather than the outside in. Human recognition may come as one part of the journey, but it should never be the goal.
19. Go out for that 8AM breakfast with your parents. It might be the time you got the most laughs out of the week.
20. Trust your instincts. There’s a reason why it screams louder than the voice in your head.
I am not looking for a perfect state of happiness and nor do I believe in such a thing but I do believe in moments , I do believe in nature , I do believe in loving someone, I do believe in loving myself, I do believe in exploring .
I don’t believe in a perfect state but I do believe some moments are bright enough , strong enough to make your heart at peace and it’s worth living for those .
Trying to learn the language of pain // no more stabbing the ghosts stinging in eyes // nothing more than a walking battle // I am more a war every night // so displaced in my own body // wandering to get lost // more a wind than the air // I am never the one to stay // I coin a new word for nightmare every new day // the endless serenade of pain // awake for a little more while // wanting to be found // somewhere in my own broken bell
- Inspired from my alien friend @broken-bell . A small wave and hello from the other side of globe
14 things being a female rugby player has taught me.
1. “YOU play rugby?” will be a typical response when someone learns that you, yes you, play the sport even though you are not an unattractive, 350-pound lesbian.
2. There is no such thing as an attractive action shot when wearing a scrum cap and mouth guard. Want to look cute? Go play volleyball.
3. Opposing teams can be friends. Even with 30 girls on the field, cattiness is almost non-existent in rugby games. Each team understands that the game is physical and that people will be hurt accidentally. It rarely amounts to more than competition. In fact, players are friends on and off the pitch, and even go grab a beer together after a game.
4. Based off of your bruises and cuts, people will be legitimately concerned that you are in an abusive relationship and question you accordingly.
5. You will never have dainty, little, booty-short-worthy thighs.
6. Most guys will find that fact that you play a rough, painful sport to be attractive rather than be turned off by it.
7. Although getting pummeled in the breasts is never pleasant, it is even less pleasant when it comes with a large amount of momentum all packed behind an elbow and a direct hit.
8. Even after playing soccer with the same girls for 14 years, that bond does not compare to the bond you have with your rugby teammates. Something about pushing your bodies to the limits together for 80 minutes, having your head way too close to their asses in scrums, and protecting each from physical harm brings about a closeness that no other sport compares to.
9. Showering after a game is the best and worst thing in the world. Best, because it feels fantastic to get mud and sweat off your body. Worst, because it hurts like hell and you discover all the injuries you were not aware of.
10. Any body type is welcomed. Oh, you gained 20 pounds? Don’t worry, you can switch positions. You lost 30 pounds? We have a spot for you as well.
11. Some women actually can outdrink men.
12. You will never appreciate a shower more than you do after three days of rugby games and a toga party with no shower. It. Is. Heavenly.
13. If you have fake nails, you will not be playing rugby. If you have long nails for that matter, you will not be playing rugby. During the season, the privilege of having presentable nails is a no-no.
14. If you are in the middle of an awkward silence with someone you just met, bring rugby into the conversation. It is bound to keep, or at least start, a conversation since it is still not overly common in the U.S.
an excerpt from my journal - things i’ve learnt from 2017 so far:
1. Rejection hurts but how you deal with it is more revealing than the fact that you got rejected in the first place.
2. Practicing gratitude for the small things helps.
3. I’m always improving, even if i can’t see it myself.
4. Self-care is important and self hatred is futile. However the act of not hating myself can be difficult. So baby steps are necessary.
5. Getting nice and thoughtful little surprises for people out of the blue is so fun and makes me feel fantastic.
6. Sometimes it can feel like there is so much hatred in the world that it’s utterly hopeless. However, it’s times like these where the goodness, compassion, and altruism of complete strangers coming together for support shines a small beacon of hope that says ‘hatred does not have all the power.’
7. If a friend offers you their shoulder to cry on, take it. It’s okay, maybe even good, to be your authentic self around people you trust. I’m referring to in times of depression here. Opening up to the right friends can feel safe. Moreover, the decision to cut ties with friends who made you feel bad about yourself, alone, and a burden? That was a good decision. And it’s funny how people will suddenly appreciate your value when you walk away and don’t look back.
8. Scary films are kind of fun. And in a weird, backwards, sort of way they are a good way of getting a quick fix of perspective. If demons aren’t hiding in my basement in the form of a possessed psychotic baby, i’m probably going to be okay.
9. It doesn’t count as ‘giving myself a break’ if i spend the whole time beating myself up for having a break.
10. I should stick to my guns about what i believe is right. I’m young and have a lot to learn and understand, but i’m not naive or ignorant and my opinions are valid and persuasive because they come from a place of fundamental compassion and empathy, and a belief that we should always try to help those who are less fortunate if we are in a position of privilege.
11. I’m not a fraud even though i often feel like i am.
12. I’m not as alone as my brain tells me i am.
13. It’s not going to help me to reject how vividly i feel everything. Instead i should learn to use it to fuel creativity and compassion.
14. One person’s success does not diminish another person’s progress. Stop comparing your journey to other people’s.
15. Don’t underestimate the value of a deep intake of cold, fresh, air.
16. Plants die if you care too much and over water them. Apply this to your work.
17. Time slows down by at least 50% at night when you are the only one awake.
18. Being so goal orientated that you don’t let yourself be happy until you have achieved said goal is not a healthy mindset. You need to give yourself permission to live in the meantime and enjoy what you can. Learn to stop and smell the roses.
2. Grocery shopping is more expensive than you’d think.
3. You spend years wishing your parents would get off your back, but you’ll realize they were the only ones who ever had your back to begin with.
4. Drama will follow you everywhere you go, but it’s your decision to let it bother you or not.
5. People change, including you.
6. Not everyone keeps the promises they make.
7. The one who said forever will walk out of your life. You can live without them.
8. Sometimes you’ll miss the feeling more than the person.
9. Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it’s necessary.
10. It’s okay to be selfish. If something is not growing you, stop watering it and cut off the branches.
11. When he calls you drunk after 3 months, it’s okay to ignore him and delete the voicemail; you are not obligated to hear his voice just because you two have history.
12. When a person acts like they don’t care, believe that they don’t because if they do, you’ll never have to question it.
13. If something feels wrong, it probably is; trust your gut.
14. You deserve more than what he never gave; don’t sell yourself short of anything but the best.
15. People come and go; some are rest stops, some are destinations.
16. Apologizing for things you shouldn’t be sorry for can become a habit, and eventually it’ll swallow you whole; just don’t.
17. Sleep is a temporary escape from reality; it’s okay to take advantage of that sometimes.
18. Growing up doesn’t mean you can’t have fun-shaped Mac & Cheese; it just means you have to buy it yourself. It costs the same as boring Mac & Cheese, so indulge yourself once in a while. That goes for everything else, too.
19. Life is too short for watered-down coffee and boys who make you feel less than you are.