Sometimes someone comes along who has the ability to turn your world upside down.
Sometimes that person comes along and takes everything that you planned out and re-routes you completely. Then suddenly, it’s not until you have dragged along that path that you realize how you may have royally fucked up.
I can’t say that I am not at fault. If there were any lessons that I was taught growing up with my mother and my father is that:
A. You NEVER cross the road without looking both ways (and when someone screams “stop,” you stop.)
B. You always trust your instinct even if relying on someone seems like the easy and/or admirable route.
C. You must learn to apologize when you have wronged someone.
This last month has been quite a blur for me but now it’s as if I am seeing more clear than ever. Perhaps it’s too late. Perhaps I’ve made my bed and now I must toss and turn restlessly in it. I’ve been wronged by friends, lovers and professional relationships but somehow, it doesn’t ever seem to get easier, it just gets more familiar.
No matter what, I still have that fight left in me. A passion that could spark a thousand flames and it will take a hell of a lot more to put me out. I will do right by those who I love, the values that I hold and the dreams that I harbor.
First step: owning up to the troubles that I’ve caused.
It may not be easy but it will be worth it.