lesbian until graduation

anonymous asked:

That post about Erika Moen made me feel sick and I gotta express it to someone cause ugh. I love Erika, she taught me so much about sexual expression, and those comics were just used out of context. Like I feel like I can't openly express this off anon cause im cis and straight and maybe my opinion doesn't really matter but Erika seems to be super sex positive and very trans inclusionary. A lot of the stuff they used was just taken out of context and warped...

anon since you’re cis and straight i don’t think you understand why she’s offensive to other people.

if this comic doesn’t scream yikes then u gotta do some rethinking. erika is fetishsizing how people transition, she doesn’t even see transgender people as people and instead she objectifies them. literally right there in the comic, she doesn’t know how to respect someone’s gender.

and the “LUG” comic she made confuses me. “lesbian until graduation” is not a thing. it’s pretty dang homophobic considering how she thinks her liking girls was just a phase, yet she talks about how something she has in come with her boyfriend is her “love for pussy”. also biphobic too, just ignoring that fact that bisexuality is a thing. 

i suppose this fits under the umbrella of compulsory heterosexuality but i really want this whole “character liked this person so they might be bi but can’t possibly be gay” myth like, permanently dispelled, forever, because this is just….literally not true.

there are gay people who have dated, loved, married, had sex with, fallen in love with, people who were a different gender than them. not all sexuality is fluid and it’s inappropriate to assume that someone’s sexuality is/will be fluid, but characters are non-sentient creations that do not have their own agency—and there is absolutely no reason that a character having legitimate feelings for someone of a different gender absolutely and totally rules out all possibility of them being gay.

sexuality is a largely personal, highly individualized experience. people change, people grow up. hardly anyone chooses a label for themselves based on what they used to be like. crushing on someone when you’re 5, 10, 15, even 20, doesn’t mean you’ve got to base your life and identity around this attraction. being attracted to specific people, or people “in theory” but without any modern, practical influence on your life shouldn’t dictate who is allowed to choose a label for themselves. straight people actually have no problem using this concept in reverse—you can be straight and have “girl/guy” crushes, you can be straight and make lists of people you would “go gay” for, you can be a “lesbian until graduation,” you can be straight and dabble around “experimenting” with gay hookups and even relationships. some of these experiences are actually people who are not straight battling internalized homophobia and compulsory heterosexuality, certainly, but the concept that your actions and past experiences don’t determine who you are still does apply to gay people.

it’s fundamentally homophobic to say it does, or should, in fact. it assumes straightness as a default, so straight people can “experiment” however they like, provided they return to “straight” at the end of the day. compulsory heterosexuality ensures that gay people will be expected to conform to the model image of straightness, and so much more gay people will have “experimented,” if you will, with being straight—and some people may even have had genuinely positive, emotional experiences in straight relationships. this does not mean they are any less gay, nor does it mean that they will always be able to find fulfillment in straight relationships, nor does it mean that they are bound to these instances of attraction for the rest of their lives, even when they no longer feel that way.

tl;dr: part of compulsory heterosexuality is forcing gay people to define themselves by few and far between positive experiences in straight relationships, and this is an inaccurate and homophobic assessment, and just because someone has experienced some form of genuine heterosexual attraction does not mean it is relevant to their identity or their life long term.

I actually really wish lesbians could go door to door like religious people do, like *knock knock* Hi! I’m Dianna from the C.L.I.T- Canadian Lesbians Inquiry Team! Have you ever thought about being a lesbian before? If you’re sure on your sexuality we can leave you alone, but its just such a shame most women aren’t raised in lgbt conscious households! I myself didn’t realize I was a lesbian until after I graduated highschool! -such wasted time. Heres a rainbow bracelet and a pamphlet with a guide to lesbian politics and gender expression, lesbian pop culture and some photos of lesbians celebrities to see if lesbianism peaks your interest! Have a great day, Sappho bless you for your time!

like honestly though imagine if they’d done that simpsons couch gag without making it a “lesbian/bi until graduation” joke

imagine if they’d just shown lisa continuing to be with women for the rest of her life. even if she also dated the occasional man. imagine them depicting her interest in women as real and serious and permanent, not a joke or a phase. imagine if they’d just simply showed us lisa growing up and being unmistakably bi or a lesbian and that’s just that

now that you’ve imagined it you know that they would never have actually done that, that that would actually be something unusual and notable and good, and you can see just how hollow what they actually did is. the fact that even something so tiny as them just showing us, for a few seconds, this character’s future as an undeniably gay/bi adult, is something we know we can’t reasonably expect and so we’re supposed to be happy with the cheap joke version of it really tells you something about how far we haven’t come

anonymous asked:

What stereotypes does a women's university actually live up to? And what were some of your favorite things about it that couldn't be found at a coed? Disadvantages?

I love this ask so much this will be so fun.

Stereotypes? I’ll try to answer the best that I can to the more typical ones.

  • Is everyone queer (in some fashion)? No not literally everyone but I’d be lying if I claimed that “most” of my college was cishet. Based on what I hear from other women’s universities, this is a fairly universal experience.
  • Everyone wears pajamas all the time? Yes and no. It’s much more acceptable to just kind of schlep around in a tank top and flannel with no bra (especially around finals) and nobody is going to give you a look, but a lot of girls will dress nicely on a consistent basis. I started dressing better at college because it was an environment where it was safe to care about what I wore without being judged for caring the “wrong” way or about the “wrong clothes.”
  • There are a ton of “BUGs” and “LUG"s? Regarding "Bisexual until Graduation” and “Lesbian until Graduation,” I honestly can’t give you an answer. Sexuality is fluid and, for some, is impacted by environment. Some girls will only be into girls in an extremely lady-saturated environment. Some girls are afraid of being out in a hostile world and will only act on their lady-attraction in a safe place. But, personally, I can’t think of a single girl who “turned” straight after graduation. They’re all still queer as fuck.
  • Everyone there hates men? Nah. We like guys just fine. But there is a much lower asshole-tolerance level, campus-wide. If a guy is being threatening or a jerk, he’ll very quickly find himself unwelcome and may complain about misandry. Also your appreciation for “dude humor” basically disappears and dudes will be offended that you don’t laugh.
  • Everyone is super liberal and hates republicans? Most students are, in general, more liberal, but it only tends to consolidate the vocal conservative population even more. Part of the liberal leaning is because about 95% are queer-friendly, but there are still fiscal conservatives scattered about. Most students are feminist.
  • It’s SUPER dramatic and everyone is on their period? No. Without male presence to goad women-women rivalries, everyone’s actually more chill. We tend to protect one another, overall. Big friend/couple breakups tend to occur in private and the social circles affected will just adjust as needed.
  • Everyone is gossiping all the time? Well. Kinda yeah. We’re all up in each other’s business. I went to a small college (under 700 undergrad) and that didn’t help. Most women’s universities are small.
  • It’s a non-stop sleepover? Yes. Plus secret-sharing, plus snuggling, plus kissing each other, plus drinking, plus Disney movie marathons.

Favorite things about it that couldn’t be found at a coed?

  • The sisterhood is unparalleled. I’ve never experienced a closer sense of community or family.
  • The sense of safety. Campus security, the administration, and literally every other student on campus (whether you’re friends or not) is looking out for you. Even people you hate are looking out for you.
  • It’s, thus far, the safest space to be queer that I’ve ever found. Whether you’re out and proud and loud or if you just quietly do your thing, you’re welcome and however you express that is cool.
  • Safe parties. At least at my college, guys were only allowed in if they had a girl there who would personally vouch for him. She had to accompany him at all times. Anyone (student or visitor) who harassed a student would be banned from parties permanently. This was a student-enforced policy and required no paperwork or administrative red tape. They just weren’t let in. Ever again.

Disadvantages?

  • When you return to the real world outside, you will experience culture shock. There are so many more stupid people than you’ll be used to? Misogyny is a big thing-thing?
  • If you want a big-school environment, you may be disappointed. You may miss the things that would come with a big school, like a more urban campus, giant sports events, and stuff like that.
  • Women’s colleges tend to be pricey.
  • If you are primarily attracted to men, they are in short supply. You will have to actively seek them out. Each university has a different approach to mixers.
  • 80-90% of people there are accepting of trans students, but there is a lot of gendered language. People will assume you’re female. Some of the professors aren’t as accepting as their students. In general, however, the environment is better than your average coed. Look up each college’s trans policy to learn more.

Overall, I would wholeheartedly recommend everyone to at least consider a women’s college. Honestly, it isn’t for everyone, but it’s a unique environment and, personally, I loved it.

Me reading some Judy Bbook when I was 14ish

LUG? Lesbian Until Graduation, that’s a really smart idea! I’m straight as an arrow,  but I really really wanna do that. It would just be so great to not worry about getting knocked up until I’m done with school, you know? Sure there’s birth control, but like, it’s not 100% effective like abstinence and sleeping with ladies. Plus it would be so *cool*, you know? Like, to ~experiment~ with gals even though I’m straight? It just seems so ~exciting~ and ~adventurous~ :):):) I can’t wait for my College Experimental Phase ™

graydalestairs replied to your post “like okay very few people actually will ever “fake” being lgbt and the…”

experimental bi girls at uni are one thing (annoying but a thing) but ppl pretend to be gay, wtf for the super fun experience??? And how do you pretend to be gay

even experimental bi girls or ‘lesbians until graduation’ aren’t faking it. they’re trying out something new and seeing how they like it. i know a lot of lesbians are like really bitter about this but lmao…straight girls are allowed, and encouraged, to explore the possibility that they might not be straight, and this utter disdain we have for girls who do this in college is really unwarranted. especially because it’s impossible to know who is a straight girl who’s just kissing girls for fun and who is a bi girl or a lesbian who is kissing girls because she likes it, but isn’t ready to acknowledge that as more than just a youthful college thing and is terrified of accepting that as part of her in the long run (i would venture it’s mostly the latter, because honestly why would you keep doing something that you really don’t enjoy doing and then only grow out of it once it was time to be a “real adult”?)

faking being lgbt would be…going out of your way to copy lgbt people’s styles and fashion, intentionally jamming our gaydar. it would be joining lgbt clubs saying you’re lgbt when you know you’re not and taking resources that actual lgbt people need. it’s talking about issues that you don’t understand and have never experienced and will never experience as though they affect you, when they really don’t, and then pulling out “well btw i’m not a cishet” as a trump card when people challenge you. actually coming out and publicly identifying yourself as lgbt then saying “it was just a phase.”

youtube

If you don’t know what a LUG is, it’s time you brush up on your lesbianism, with this week’s pillow talk. Sarah and Adrianna the “experts” of lesbianism are back, and more expert(y) than ever!

Despite the trending Twitter hashtag #TomGayley, Mr. Daley never used the word “gay,” and there was the matter of his still fancying girls. While many commenters embraced the ambiguity (“I don’t care if Tom Daley’s gay or bi or whatever … He’s still fit,” one tweeted), others raised eyebrows.

Was it a disclaimer? A cop-out? A ploy to hold on to fans? Was he being greedy, as some joked? Or was he, as the video’s blushing tone suggested, simply caught up in the heady disorientation of first love, a place too intoxicating for labels?

Whatever the answer, Mr. Daley’s disclosure reignited a fraught conversation within the L.G.B.T. community, having to do with its third letter. Bisexuality, like chronic fatigue syndrome, is often assumed to be imaginary by those on the outside. The stereotypes abound: bisexuals are promiscuous, lying or in denial. They are gay men who can’t yet admit that they are gay, or “lesbians until graduation,” sowing wild oats before they find husbands.

“The reactions that you’re seeing are classic in terms of people not believing that bisexuality really exists, feeling that it’s a transitional stage or a form of being in the closet,” said Lisa Diamond, a professor at the University of Utah who studies sexual orientation.

—  Bisexual: A Label With Layers | Hey, look: the New York Times is talking about bisexuality! 
en.wikipedia.org
HOMO/ BI until graduation

The LGBT slang terms lesbian until graduation (LUG),[1]gay until graduation (GUG), and bisexual until graduation (BUG) are used to describe women primarily of high-school or college age who are assumed to be experimenting with or adopting a temporary lesbian or bisexual identity. The term suggests that the woman to whom it is applied will ultimately adopt a strictly heterosexual identity. Some members of the lesbian community use this term to disparage bisexual women.[2]