idk about you, but speaking as a young chinese lesbian, im not so sure about adding the two new colours. I totally understand it's to show and make sure that brown and black lgbt are recognized for their efforts and activism in the community and it's to go against the racism. But if it's about going against racism mostly, then what about us Asians, specifically East Asians (and other POC)? those colours only represent a (likely a large) part of the POC, but don't forget the others.
You’re right about Asian inclusion in this. That is definitely important.
The only reason that I can understand why it is only black and brown stripes at the bottom is because of AIDS hurting black and latinx communities especially hard.
But yes, I agree that it should be more inclusive of Asians, but I’d like to think that the flag is meant to be taken as inclusive of all POC.
Is there a sure way to tell if my feelings for/about males growing up were socialization/heteronormativity rather than genuine? You've described lesbians as an absolute, only ever in their whole entire lives being interested in women and never ever interested in men, but society is also really great at crafting people into little hegemonic cut-outs. It also doesn't help that because lesbophobia is so prevalent, women generally have fewer opportunities to explore their feelings with other women.
I think that’s a complicated question, and I think that it’s difficult to give an exact explanation of where the line is if it is still something that someone is dealing with–I know that I’m at a point in my life where compulsory heterosexuality and socialization forcing male attraction isn’t something that I personally deal with, so I admit that makes it feel much clearer for me–but I of course know that is not true of everyone, and so I will try my best to make this a little clearer.
When I was younger, I knew that when there were men on TV, when there were heterosexual relationships on TV, I felt something, and I didn’t know what it was. I was told that the way girls feel about boys is attraction. When boys made girls cry or when girls were angry with boys I was told that was attraction. So I assumed that what I felt was attraction.
But what I was feeling, though real, was not attraction. What I was feeling was discomfort and fear. This became clear for me a few years ago. Having acquired a fear of heights, I soon after visited the Grand Canyon. I got as close as I could to the edge because I felt like I had to be brave, like I didn’t want to be a wimp, and I felt adreneline, an uneasy stomach, and leaden legs. I was scared, and uncomfortable, and forcing myself to do something that I didn’t want to do. That was EXACTLY how I felt when I would try to fake crushes on boys or when I tried to date boys. Afraid and uncomfortable. But in my mind, it was butterflies in the stomach, and me just being unsure and nervous because I wasn’t confident.
That was, and is, categorically untrue. I was conditioned to view attraction as something that would be painful and that wouldn’t be intuitive. I was taught that when two people hate each other, they are secretly in love. I was taught that people don’t enjoy relationships, I was taught that girls don’t make the first move, I was taught that girls were reticent about sex in any case.
I was taught that attraction was about allowing someone to hurt me. And I was taught that as a woman it was my duty to have a man to hurt me.
Genuine attraction and genuine interest have a yearning and a longing that aren’t about validation, about performing my role as a woman, about fear and discomfort. Genuine attraction is about someone who you truly want, in whatever way that is. It isn’t about who you are supposed to be. I knew that I wanted to be with women before I ever touched a woman. I didn’t need her to make me who I was. I wanted her there. Pure, natural want.
Society tells us a lot of lies about ourselves, that’s very true. But like many lies, they are much, much clearer in hindsight.
GayBFF uses a similar framework of apps like Tindr or Grindr to allow queer people and those that love them to meet one another without worrying about expectations related to romance or sex. Ruben Jauregui, Jr. decided to create the platform after witnessing a lack of other social media apps providing the opportunity for LGBTQ people to find friends.
”While we in the LGBTQ Community celebrate the progress on legal and social acceptance, the rates of depression, loneliness and substance abuse remain stagnant,” Jauregui, Jr. told The Huffington Post. “It is still dangerously alienating to go through life as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer. I want GayBFF to be a community that will help us bond and grow with each other and our straight allies.”
GayBFF allows users to swipe either left or right on personal profiles to see if they “match” with other users who then have the potential to become friends. Jauregui, Jr. went on to tell HuffPost that the current American political climate make apps like this more crucial than ever ― especially for young LGBTQ people seeking outlets to form community.
“We keep waiting for the moment when we feel like we are not different from other people,” Jauregui, Jr. said. “The fact is, we are different, and it’s about time we love and embrace that.”
Lesbians with no experience? Lesbians with a lot of experience? Lesbians who have been with men? Lesbians who haven’t? Lesbians who are unsure about their identity? Lesbians who are 110% sure? All lesbians? Incredible, beautiful, important, 10/10 would recommend. I bet if we had more lesbians, all world problems would be solved.
Can I just say how unbelievably happy I am with all the canon lgbta+ representation in podcasts? Almost every podcast I can think of has at least one lgbta+ person, and they’re main characters.
To all the podcast creaters: thank you. It means so much to me.