Okay Les Mis fandom, but has anyone ever considered an Enjoltaire The Mummy AU? Obviously I mean the 1999 The Mummy with Brendan Fraser. I mean, Grantaire as the dashingly sarcastic and witty swashbuckler, helping overly enthusiastic about Egyptian history librarian Enjolras out on his desert adventure.
Or honestly, take almost any pairing from Les Amis for it and it would be great.
-the beginnings of the barricade songs
-“EVEN A WHORE WHO HAS GONE TO THE BAD WON’T BE HAD BY A RAT!!!”
-Thenardier calling Cosette by the wrong name
-“Little he knows, little he sees”
-the three part counterpoint at the end of a heart full of love
-the three part counterpoint at the end of a heart full of love reprise/everyday
-“Thinks he’s quite a lover, but there’s not much there”
-when the “JAVERT!"s match up in the confrontation
-the feeling in your chest when everyone starts singing in the finale
-gavroche singing the women’s part of drink with me in the les mis movie
Enjolras: the violation of our most basic human rights Courfeyrac: liberté. égalité. beyoncé. Combeferre: Harry Potter erotica Grantaire: some douche with an acoustic guitar Jehan: bees? Feuilly: a grown man crying at a movie Joly: embryonic stem cells Bossuet: the World’s Worst Human Being Bahorel: the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Marius: the “shy kid in the corner” Eponine: the feminist agenda Cosette: Girls Gone Wild Musichetta: aggressive Legolas hair flips Montparnasse: smoking 1000 cigarettes just so you can sound like a dalek when you talk
remember to offer your blood sacrifice to Victor Hugo by the end of the day on June 6 so your favorite dead revolutionaries will visit you in your sleep. he also accepts payments in the form of fanfics and fanarts
Just consider Enjolras sucking at replying to texts. He is always so busy with all the work and the important things he has to do that he kind of postpones replying to his personal texts and ends up only answering one or two weeks later. The Amis kind of give up on texting him and just call him instead when they have to talk about something serious.
Consider Grantaire being the one person that Enjolras replies to right away because he always has to have the last word during their discussions and he won’t give Grantaire the satisfaction of not answering and making him think that Enjolras has run out of arguments. Sometimes, they text each other up to 3 in the morning, because neither of them want the other to have the last word.
(Grantaire feels a little bit special for being the only one Enjolras actually texts back).
‘Average book talks about the Parisian sewage system for 50 pages’ factoid is actually a statistical error - Victor Hugo’s 'Les Miserables’ which talks about the Parisian sewage system for 5000 pages is an outlier and should not have been counted.
Picture Enjolras trying to describe the guy he likes to ferre and courf but they make it really difficult like “are you sure you’re not just making this up he can’t have that many hobbies” and “curly dark hair and makes fun of you a lot? He sounds like a taller version of courfeyrac"