Some cute little Bahorel things (because I love Bahorel and we need to talk more about Bahorel, please talk to me about Bahorel):

  • had one of those premature half-beard things when he was sixteen and thought it was the coolest thing in the world (hint: it was not)
  • officially won the ‘Who Loves Red More’ contest against Enjolras who couldn’t even complain because Feuilly was referee
  • has a three-hour long morning routine playlist consisting of mostly ABBA and Queen songs
  • was super uneducated about social issues when he was younger and always makes a point about not condemning ignorance but stress the importance of education
  • HEELYS
  • has a fashion blog with Cosette called ‘The Lady and The Scamp’
  • you’d think Courfeyrac knows everyone but that’s mostly true because Bahorel introduced him to everyone usually staring the story of how they met with ‘Well, I was drunk…” (No one knows anymore if it’s the truth or just a running joke)
  • cries at literally every movie
  • ‘We’re watching The Terminator, Bahorel, why are yOU CRYING?’ ‘BECAUSE HE FUCKING DIED’ ‘HE’S A ROBOT, HE TRIED TO KILL EVERYONE’ ‘STOP SHOUTING FEUILLY I AM EMOTIONALLY FRAGILE RIGHT NOW’
  • believes in the cathartic power of bubble baths
  • tried once to give Jehan fashion advice, wasn’t seen for three days afterwards, when asked where he was just looked into the distance with a pained look on his face, said, ‘My happy place’ and refused to say anything else one the matter ever again
  • Montparnasse:jehan.
  • Jehan:yes?
  • Montparnasse:I thought we agreed on what to name our new kitten
  • Jehan:we did.
  • Montparnasse:yes, we did. we already have one named after a poet and two named after plants. so this one we were going to name Aubrey, right?
  • Jehan:right.
  • Montparnasse:so tell me. why does the vet certificate say her name is aubergine?
  • Jehan:huh. wonder how that got there....

Team Valor: Enjolras, Bahorel, Feuily, Marius, Eponine, Montparnasse

Team Mystic: Combeferre, Jehan, Cosette, Joly, Musichetta

Team Instinct: Courfeyrac, Grantaire, Bossuet, Gavroche, Azelma


you’re welcome

little joly things
  • carrying a first aid kit with him wherever he goes
  • pulling faces at himself in mirrors and in selfies
  • feng shui
  • cuddle piles during thunderstorms
  • green tea
  • and green tea flavoured everything
  • a group photo of his friends as his laptop wallpaper
  • laughing at everything
  • also his laughter is cute and infectious
  • being secretly superstitious (he blames bossuet for this entirely)
  • the colours orange and yellow
  • making balloon animals for children scared of injections
  • a hoard of dinosaur stickers
  • being able to drink grantaire under the table
  • bullet journals
  • naming his cacti and putting name labels on their pots
  • drinking out of his prosthetic leg at parties
  • seeing how long he can balance his prosthetic leg on his head for at parties
  • fuzzy socks
  • hiccups after drinking something fizzy
  • writing notes in the margins of books and underlining his favourite quotes
  • keeping a packet of tissues in his pocket always
  • being ridiculously ticklish
  • loud, patterned socks and shirts
  • having all his friends on speed-dial
  • being able to say the alphabet backwards really quickly
  • growing and picking his own fruit
  • secret handshakes
  • hosting disney karaoke nights
Once Upon A Time - Part Two: Jehan

“Okay, now it’s my turn,”

“You have to start with ‘Once upon a time,’”

“Why,”

“Because it’s the rules,” Montparnasse was idly playing with Jehan’s hair.

“Fine. Once upon a time-”

“I like this story,”

“Hush, chaton!

“Sorry, chou,” he pressed a kissed to the poet’s head.

“Once upon a time there was a revolution, held by rich, privileged kids who wanted to be part of something. Among these revolutionaries was the poet, Jehan Prouvaire-”

“Sounds adorable,”

“Jehan was this hopeless romantic, and was doing what any hopeless romantic would do after having their heart broken. Wandering around aimlessly, calling out their ex-lover’s name in a drunken state.”

“Courf?”

“Courf.”

“Rat bastard,” Mont pulled Jehan closer into him.

“It’s fine, chaton.”

“It’s really not,”

“It really is. Anyway, in their misery, the poet stumbled down a dark street, where off in a distant alleyway, shots rang off and a loud thud was heard.”

“I jumped out of a third-story window. I didn’t have time to be fucking graceful”

“I wasn’t judging.”

“There weren’t any shots.”

“Our poet,” Jehan cleared his throat loudly, “Always had a flair for the dramatic, especially in their current being, so they ventured down the alleyway, avoiding broken glass and garbage, until they came across,” they paused for dramatic effect, “Montparnasse, the lethally-beautiful member of Paris’s most dangerous gang, the Patron-Minette,”

“No!” Montparnasse sat straight up.

Jehan laughed, “Yep!”

“You knew?”

“That you existed? Of course!”

“How?”

“Enjolras. Marius. Eponine. Courf.”

“I can’t believe this…I’m actually shocked,” Mont ran a hand through his hair as Jehan pulled him back down, laughing.

“Let me finish!”

Chou, I’m a little rattled right now,” he grinned at the poet lying on his chest. “Go on,”

“Okay, so our poet runs into this murderer, thief, gang-member, all of the above. And the first thing they notice is, they weren’t kidding when they spoke of him. Lethally beautiful. Gorgeous. Deep brown eyes and hair so dark it was almost blue. The color of ink. And he had cheekbones miles high and the strongest jaw the poet had ever seen. Later, Jehan would try to write a poem about this human, but they would come up empty because words couldn’t capture him,”

Enculer…” Parnasse blushed the color of of roses, looking like a revolutionary flag, all red and black.

“Oh, quiet down,” Jehan pecked their boyfriend’s cheek. “Our poet was star-struck, standing there like an idiot, until he noticed blood coating Montparnasse’s jacket.”

“It was such an expensive coat, too”

“So Jehan rummages through his pockets until he finds his best handkerchief, hands it to the man and says ‘Rough day, mate?’ The man asked if he could keep the hankie, but before Jehan has time to answer, Montparnasse is introducing himself, then running into the night. And the poet is left to wonder what happened.”

“You know I was home before I realised I still had the handkerchief. So I put it in a suitcase to deliver to you the next morning.”

“How did you find me, by the way?”

“Through Eponine. And Marius. Cosette was surprised, to say the least. I told her I had a package for Monsieur Prouvaire and she looked at me like I was crazy.”

“She’s protective. It’s sweet.”

“I suppose.”

“And Montparnasse came into Jehan’s store every day for three weeks before asking them out. The most aggravating three weeks of the poet’s life,”

“I needed to make sure you were interested!I have a reputation to uphold!”

“You’re the dorkiest criminal I’ve ever met,” Jehan planted a firm kiss on Montparnasse’s mouth.

“How rude!” Montparnasse exclaimed jokingly as he pulled Jehan Prouvaire in for another kiss.

What she says: I’m fine
What she means: In the 2012 movie adaptation of Les Mis, why does Grantaire go from sitting on the front of the carriage wearing a coat and a hat to sitting in some random cafe with a girl on his knee in a matter of seconds? Was George Blagden acting as an extra and the directors just hoped we wouldn’t notice? Or were they suggesting that Grantaire couldn’t bear to see Enjolras die so as soon as the conflict started he ran away to bury his sorrows with wine and a girl? If that was the case how did it happen so quickly? How does time work in the Les Mis movie universe? At the start of the film Fantine is shown to go from fairly ‘normal’ to having a cough in just a few scenes which are probably set over a matter of days, weeks at most. Does time pass differently in France? Do they experience shorter days and shorter years? Back to Grantaire, when he kisses Mme Hucheloup off her chair why does he go from wearing a sash around his waist to not wearing one even though the shot didn’t change? Is Grantaire always doomed to have trouble in the wardrobe department?