“The Deadlock is a body-crushing hug that almost borders on a fear of letting go. In this hug, both people intertwine themselves as tightly as they possibly can, squeezing out every last drop of air separating them. This position is about deep commitment and not wanting to be apart. By wrapping each other up in this way, you fear that letting the other person out of your embrace will somehow mean they will leave.”
I get to know myself again with you. At first, I couldn’t accept I was falling in love with the impossible. However, now, every time I see you, I experience feelings impossible to describe. I love a country I didn’t know at all, I speak a language I didn’t know. The more I learn about the country, the better I understand you. I know the source of your passion, and that passion is what I love about you. I liken the white of your skin to the white part of my flag, the blue of your eyes to the blue part. I, on the other hand, like the star on your flag, believe in the infinity, ascribe to the life you don’t hesitate to sacrifice to the red color of your flag, and I lose myself in that color. Then you turn into the flags of every country, into all the nations. When I think of you, the borders, the color of the people, their flags disappear. When I think of you, I disappear. I’m in the middle of a very deep sleep. If I wake up, when I open my eyes, I want to see your eyes that make every impossibility disappear. Any other way, if I have to wake up from a sleep that won’t end with seeing your eyes, I wish to sleep forever.
My darling, my love, you who I have experienced the meaning of life with. Today I’m writing this letter that speaks my senses, my feelings that are buried in my heart, feelings that I can not say to anyone, because my little lady our only crime is that we fell in love at a wrong Time…
I’m on that ship with a heavy heart,with the blue and white flag of my country fluttering through the wind. My mind wonders…to the events earlier this year. we were coming to invade your country…but I didn’t imagine nor did I expect that I would fall in love with the “Crescent.” The first time we, met you were a tiny girl who had no fear to the uniform that I was wearing, but when me met the second time , you yelled at me and you called me a murderer with no hesitation nor fear even though the leader of the Greek army is sitting at the same table…I was fascinated … curious…and I felt something I thought I had forgotten about it, and it’s conscience… I got even more fascinated when you, a Turkish patriot tried to help a greek person…A person that you don’t even know,when I had to kill my childhood friend just to please my father the Greek leader…I felt shame and helpless. So I challenged you and I asked “if you can’t love a person, how would you know how to love a country?”
Do you remember my little lady when I threw you to prison by my own hands? I do…I remember every little detail, because it was then, when I stopped struggling with my feelings for you… It was then when I tried everything in my power to keep the last Smyrna alive… Who knew? being in love would make you feel like a little boy again…who knew that I would be this happy just because i spoke couple of words with you? But my little lady you made me wake up from that dream when you told me that would shoot me with no hesitation…You don’t know how much that burned my soul. I’m now certain that you have feelings for me , but your mind still controls your heart…you keep rejecting me…you keep breaking me with your words…However I know you don’t mean it.. I know you have feelings for me…but you won’t admit it because you fell for your invader…The one who killed your people. “If we want we can stop this war.” I say this hoping you would agree with me…and instead of breaking me again with your words…you reply with “I wish…but we’re not strong enough..” You were wrong my little lady…I betrayed my country…I betrayed my country and my principles that I used to believe in for you…so that you could still breath…
I was tired my love… i was tired of this war, i was tired of everything and everyone…I couldn’t breath…so I decided to leave.. But then you came…running…preventing me from taking my own life… You were ready to die with me…you would do it…because I know you , you are selfless and you would do anything for your loved ones. And now it was your turn to face others, it was your turn to yell at them to protect me. You supported me…you loved me and you trusted me…yet i broke your trust…i was tested with your life again…I had to betray you for your sake…I don’t regret it…I would do it again if that what it takes to keep you alive… I’m now back wearing my uniform, do you know why I wore it again? Because I’m scared…I’m scared that I would lose you… My father ,the great greek leader who didn’t love me as a son is now forever remembered as a betrayer… And now with a brother who I thought was dead and a mother who was too happy about my brother being alive to grieve about my dead father…I felt alone…
I’m going back to my country my love… Here I’m, standing on the port waiting for you… but you didn’t come… I want you to know one thing, no matter how long we are separated…even if it took years, if it’s meant to be, we will meet again. Farewell my little lady…
“They’re all trying to escape something. Particularly with their home
life, especially Charlie. They all have quite complicated home
foundations. Charlie has these
bohemian hippie parents that have these weird sex parties and grow weed
so he’s always trying to escape that. We’ll see where it goes. We get
completely out of our depth. We’re just small time scammers and suddenly
we find ourselves deep, deep trouble with lethal consequences. Its’
interesting how each of our characters deal with it in different ways.”
- Rupert Grint.