leon carter

10

Top ten film soundtracks

the office au
  • the company’s called thornhill industries. they sell security software
  • harold’s the ceo
  • root’s his assistant
  • harper’s the office secretary
  • carter and elias: human resources
  • zoe, anthony, cal beecher: PR
  • john, fusco, leon, shaw: sales
  • jason greenfield, daizo, daniel casey: IT
  • dani gets brought in as the new intern
  • everyone sees the tension between root and shaw. they know it’s only a matter of time
  • root’s always flirting, shaw’s always rolling her eyes
  • it would’ve happened years ago only they’re both too stubborn to be the first to make a move
  • they’re also both idiot losers who don’t think the other is really interested
  • there’s an office-wide betting pool
  • the will-they-wont-they has been going on for years, so the pool just gets bigger and bigger
  • everyone tries to get them super drunk at the holiday parties in hopes that one of them will finally make a move
  • so far, no luck
  • leon’s the one dumbass who thinks it’ll never happen. the poor fool
  • he and shaw have a particularly intense rivalry, so he doesn’t think shaw is capable of soft human emotion
  • finch also bets against them. he knows root too well, and thinks they’ll just dance circles around each other endlessly
  • anyways, the shaw/leon rivalry is intense
  • no one remembers how it started, but their desks are right across from each other and they love to give each other a hard time
  • LOVE it
  • sometimes their coworkers get caught in the crossfire
  • fusco once opened shaw’s desk drawer to borrow a pen while she was in the other room and ended up getting glitter bombed
  • it’s been three years and he still finds glitter on all his clothes
  • cal once accidentally grabbed leon’s lunch out of the staff room fridge instead of his own. by the time he realized someone had added a layer of glue to the pb&j it was already too late
  • harper gives dani the tour on her first day, introduces her to everyone, shows her around the building
  • dani very quickly develops a crush on root
  • who can blame her? root’s a shameless flirt
  • poor dani isn’t very good at hiding her feelings—she gets flustered too easily around pretty girls—so root knows Immediately
  • she starts lingering by dani’s desk. calling her into her office to help with menial tasks
  • asking her to stay late for this and that
  • dani’s so far gone. shaw’s pissed
  • “give the kid a break, root. you’re torturing her”
  • “do i detect a hint of jealousy, sameen?”
  • shaw scoffs. “that’s contempt. you’re stringing this poor kid along, letting her think she’s got a chance—“
  • “who says she doesn’t?” root challenges
  • she really does think dani’s cute. she likes her. the similarities to shaw are undeniable, but root becomes fond of her on her own
  • they go on a few dates
  • everyone thinks it’s very cute
  • well. not shaw
  • shaw takes to sharpening knives at her desk
  • “im just looking out for the damn kid, john,” shaw huffs
  •  one day dani comes bouncing into the office with a dopey grin after her lunch break and everyone knows she just got smooched
  • shaw leaves early that day
  • root breaks it off, after a few months. she tells dani she’s wonderful, but she’s hung up on someone else. dani lets out a huge sigh of relief
  • “oh thank god. i didn’t know how to tell you, but i think im in love with harper”
  • root sets them up
  • they’re the cutest couple in the office. the gaybies
  • everyone ships them
  • sends them fruit baskets. honorary toasters. they haven’t even moved in together yet
  • they get a dog together after a couple years and elias thows a baby shower
  • the day that word of the breakup gets around, shaw gets a memo from root asking her to stop by her office before she leaves for the night
  • shaw makes her wait all day
  • finally stops by like 30 minutes after everyone else has gone home just so root has to wait
  • doesn’t even knock on the door, just walks right in
  • “root”
  • “sameen”
  • they stare at each other for a moment. shaw waves her hand impatiently
  • “did you have something or were you just gonna waste my time?”
  • root glances at her watch “actually, we’re right on time. grab your coat”
  • “on time? for what?”
  • “we’re getting dinner, shaw. a date. im told that’s ‘what two oblivious idiots do to work through their shit’”
  • “……..carter?”
  • “carter. backed up by, apparently, all of our coworkers. they signed a petition”
  • the IT boys make bank the next day. after five years the betting pool has really added up
the garage sale au

a collab with @gravelyhumerus

  • the shaws are having a yard sale to clear out a bunch of old junk
  • some of their clientele include: 
  • a lady in a weed leaf-patterned dress. doesn’t speak english. buys all of papa shaw’s old CDs
  • a tiny old white lady who buys an old bong and calls it a vase. shaw doesn’t correct her
  • five different women in big hats who pat shaw on the back, calling her a good salesperson. they don’t notice her physical discomfort, nor do they buy anything
  • a man drops and shatters three tea cups, then walks away like he didn’t do anythingthere are people in their cars waiting for shaw to set up at 7am. shaw doesn’t know why the hell they’re up so early by /choice/
  • some lady asks shaw if the giant old lady bras (her late grandmother’s) are lingerie for her boyfriend
  • john very solemnly tells her yes, they are
  • root lives across the street and has a Big Gay Crush on a certain shaw comma sameen
  • shaw and john are close friends, and root doesn’t talk to anyone at school so she doesnt know that he’s really fucking gay so she thinks he’s flirting with shaw
  • he’s there helping out with the yard sale and root shows up to give him a run for his money
  • she’s too busy tripping over herself and buying all of shaw’s stuff to notice john’s bf harold is there, literally holding his hand
  • she doesn’t even look at what she’s buying, just scoops up an armful of trinkets and drops them on the table in front of shaw
  • “you’re really interested in all this crap?” shaw scoffs
  • “i am………..a hoarder”
  • she had a really smooth pickup line she’d spent hours working on (i see one thing im interested in) but it’s much easier to deliver the line to her shampoo bottle in the shower than it is to sameen shaw’s actual face so she panics and here we are
  • shaw shrugs. it’s hardly the strangest thing root’s ever told her
  • root ends up having to have her own yard sale a week later to get rid of all the stuff she bought from shaw
  • shaw stops by and she’s like wAIT a second
  • “hang on, you’re you making money off my garbage? i had this priced at fifty cents" 
  • "y’know, you really should have a better sense of market values. it’s going for $14.99 on ebay”
  • “it’s an old dog toy”
  • “an old dog toy that’s going for $14.99 on ebay”
  • a couple days later they bump into each other aGAIN and this time root is wearing shaw’s sweater and shaw is like oh shit she looks good in my shit what the hell red alert 
  • only it’s like a really tacky ugly sweater shaw hated bc it made her look shapeless, but on root’s lanky-ass frame it’s very cute and artsy
  • the asshole
  • back to the shaws’ yard sale though! fusco shows up to buy a rusty lamp with no bulb or shade. it belonged to shaw’s great grandmother. when questioned about his intentions for said partial lamp, fusco just shrugs
  • “ya never know. ‘s good to be prepared”
  • harper’s the one who shows up wanting to know the background of each item and shaw’s like "we found it in a drawer who cares”
  • (harper’s really just there to find cool stories and flirt with carter and shaw and root and dani)
  • zoe is the one that pulls up in her car just to give her pal shaw the thumbs up
  • shaw’s like “if you really cared you’d buy something” and zoe just laughs and yells back “if i wanted garbage i’d get it at the dump for free” and drives away
  • carter buys a necklace to support shaw
  • she sells it for a buck and carter looks at it online, sells it for a hundred
  • root wasn’t lying, it’s all about the market
  • john already bought shaw’s old video games, which he cherishes for the childhood nostalgia factor
  • their entire friendship was initially based on crash bandicoot
  • finch and john catch leon pocketing some shit. it’s literally worthless but shaw still punches him just on principle
  • she lets him keep it after that though
  • dani’s the one who spends the whole time playing with bear and doesn’t buy anything or talk to anyone
  • martine shows up with lambert and shaw/john/finch are immediately like “we’re closed”
  • “seriously, shaw? i can see all your stuff–”
  • “say, finch, what time do we close?”
  • “i believe we just did, sameen”
  • martine crosses her arms. “it’s only 9am”
  • “all sold out” john saya
  • jeremy gestures to the rest of the driveway, filled with people and clearly not sold out merchandise. “i can see the tables”
  • shaw finch and john just stare them down
  • literally the second they turn around to leave john calls his baseball teammate michael cole over to check some stuff out
  • shaw’s selling a absurd amount of knives because she needs to clear out space for MORE KNIVES
  • she makes sure to loudly say so as laskey, carter’s lab partner in a&p, walks by with his older brother simmons
  • they’re both Notorious Pricks
  • after a few hours shaw’s mom brings everyone lemonade and iced tea and gives shaw a one-armed hug
  • shaw’s like “mamaaaaaann c'mon, my friends are here”
  • and john’s like “yEA we are can i have a hug???”
  • they all get hugs, and harold gets a kiss on the head
  • sweet boy
  • mama shaw brings out some treats for bear too so dani can feed them to him
  • shaw takes a quick pat on the shoulder because her mom respects her limitations
  • root sees mama shaw as she’s leaving and gets a wave and veritably beams
  • mama shaw only knows root as (affectionately) “that odd girl from across the street”
the reincarnation au: industrial revolution

ancient rome | 1920s

  • okay so we have coal miner shaw. she stands out a little because she’s a woman
  • “if you look underneath all the dust” john always jokes
  • but she hauls just as much coal as any man so no one gives her shit
  • they used to, but then she and john cracked a few skulls
  • you know how it is
  • she and root go way back
  • they met on the street as kids
  • root was 100% done picking cotton in texas and hitchhicked to pennsylvania or iowa or wherever the fuck they are now
  • so root was begging for coins and shaw was on her way to work in the mines
  • shaw had found a penny on the street and she was super stoked to buy some candy to share with john on the way home later
  • she passes this girl who’s looking pretty pathetic, camped out there on the street
  • shaw looks back once. considers her penny
  • fuck that noise. she’s getting candy later
  • this girl /does/ sound pretty pitiful though. shaw groans. turns around. marches back over and yanks root up and drags her along behind her
  • “hey! hey, let go of me, you scoundrel!”
  • “i’m trying to help you, stupid”
  • root yanks her arm back. pouts
  • shaw crosses her arms. “c'mon, you’re gonna make me late”
  • “for what?”
  • “work. you’re coming with me. you’ll make more there than you will on that corner”
  • root perks up. shaw grabs her hand again. “now come on, if we run we’ll make it on time!”
  • so little shaw leads them to the boss man’s office. knocks on the door quickly.
  • george hersh pokes his head out. “cutting it a little close this morning, shaw”
  • “sorry hersh. i just thought maybe you and harold could use a little extra help around the office? maybe licking stamps and stuff?”
  • “not down in the mines with you?”
  • shaw gives root a once over. notes her thin frame and shaky limbs. “i just thought–”
  • “i can read and write, sir. and i’m really good at arithmetic” root pipes up
  • “oh?”
  • “yessir. had to know how to count to help my parents in the fields. my momma used to be a teacher, and she always said i had a real knack for my numbers”
  • a boy with floppy hair and glasses pokes his head out from behind hersh’s legs
  • “mister hersh? we can get more done if there’s two of us”
  • the whistle blows
  • “you’re going to be late, shaw.” hersh notes. “your friend’ll be fine here”
  • shaw is reluctant to leave root alone. it shows
  • “i’ll be fine, uh…shaw? dont worry about me!”
  • shaw looks up at hersh, squints a little, and nods. she trusts him
  • “i’m sure that…i’m sorry, what did you say your name was?”
  • “samantha, samantha groves. call me root, though.”
  • “oh?”
  • “that’s what my momma calls me, like the roots in the dirt, or like the square root of a number.” root shares a smile with harold
  • nerds.
  • “….right. root will be just fine here with us, shaw. off you go”
  • shaw decides root’s in good hands and hurries off
  • she comes back hours later, covered in filth, to check up on root
  • root’s diligently working though a long series of numbers when shaw peers through a small crack in the wall
  • roots eyes find hers though
  • she waves a little
  • it makes shaw’s chest tighten so she runs away and goes back to walking home with john, her big brother
  • “who’s that girl in hersh’s office?”
  • “nobody. just some girl i found this morning on the way here”
  • “found?”
  • “yeah, she was begging on the corner. amateur”
  • “do you–”
  • “if you keep askin’ questions i’m not sharing my candy”
  • john shuts up after that
  • shaw’s penny gets her four pieces of candy. she gives john two and keeps the other two in her pocket. john’s happily munching away when shaw freezes
  • “sam? what’s wrong?”
  • “oh uh. i…i forgot my…my shoes? yeah i forgot my shoes. at work. i gotta go back”
  • john blinks and shaw spins around and runs back
  • “…you’ve never owned a pair of shoes, shaw.” john says to the empty street
  • shaw’s tiny legs get her back to hersh’s office in record time.
  • “what is it now, shaw? i was just closing up”
  • “where’s root?”
  • “‘scuse me?”
  • “where’s root, where’d she go?”
  • “she just left. i assume she went back home”
  • shaw spins around AGAIN and runs back to that stupid street corner
  • finds root curled up in a cardboard box. yanks her up again. drags her off
  • “what’s–shaw? where are we going?”
  • “you cant sleep on the street. it’s cold. that’s stupid”
  • “where else would i go?”
  • “home. with me”
  • “where’s that?”
  • “you ask too many questions. eat this”
  • she gives root the two slightly smushed and melted pieces of candy
  • root is touched. “did you get these for me?”
  • “ugh. no. they’re extra. i’m full so you can have em”
  • shaw’s a terrible liar. or maybe root’s good at reading people. root takes one and gives shaw back the other. “thank you”
  • “whatever”
  • maybe she lets root hold her hand on the way back. but only because both of their hands are sticky from the candy. it would be too much of a hassle to let go
  • plus her hands were cold. so there
  • “home with shaw” is actually a cluster of makeshift shacks and tents with a bunch of other kids
  • carter, fusco, john, harold, carter, dani, harper, leon. the whole gang is there by the fire in a pile like a bunch of kittens
  • “they all…live here? alone?” root whispers. she doesn’t want to wake them up
  • “not all of us have parents. and some don’t have parents they want to go home to”
  • root gives her a half smile. she more than understands
  • “you get cold at night?” shaw asks, digging through a pile of rags
  • “sometimes. why?”
  • shaw pulls out a blanket and gestures with it. “pick a good spot”
  • root studies the pile carefully for a moment, then lays down next to where dani and harper are intertwined
  • “good call. john kicks in his sleep and fusco snores”
  • “and you?”
  • “you’ll find out when it’s your turn to keep watch. now go to sleep”
  • root gives her a mocking salute and curls into her blanket. “goodnight, shaw”
  • “goodnight root”
the soccer au
  • harold was originally a defender when they all played as kids, but he got hurt in early high school so now he’s the aide or coaching assistant or whatever
  • sameen “the hammer” shaw is the sweeper
  • john is a forward. maybe a midfielder? he has that bulk. could go either way
  • root is the goalie. she flirts with shaw alllllllll fucking day long
  • okay but in peewee soccer the coach just lets shaw and john run around the field and dominate everyone
  • they dont really have positions
  • the coach tries
  • he puts root as the goalie originally bc she was that kid who would space out on the field and like pick flowers
  • stare at the clouds
  • stare at shaw
  • they werent friends yet, you see. but shaw was so /cool/
  • she would trample the opposition and score tons of goals
  • root was in awe. she was gangly and awkward and tripped whenever she tried to run
  • she and shaw become friends after root unintentionally saved the day by blocking a shot with her face
  • some punk ass (jeremy lambert) broke away with the ball and punted it directly at her
  • “root, look out!”
  • was sameen shaw talking to /her/?
  • THUNK
  • knocks her the fuck out, but they win the game
  • she blinks a few times. sees the sky. squints.
  • “root! root, you did it, we won!!”
  • “are you…an angel???”
  • shaw makes a face. “coach hersh? i think root’s dead”
  • control’s the other coach
  • she and hersh have a super old rivalry
  • they’ve both been handpicking kids to build….the ultimate soccer team
  • they stare at each other from across the field
  • have a /huge/ battle over who gets shaw. control wants to recruit her
  • they often forget they’re fighting over literal five year olds
  • both coaches go up to shaws parents to make their case
  • “shouldnt it be up to sameen?”
  • both coaches blink. glower at each other. look at shaw
  • she looks up
  • “coach hersh, if i stay on your team, do i get to pet bear?”
  • “um. yes?”
  • control is about to have a seizure.
  • shaw shrugs. “i like bear. and my friends. i’ll stay with coach hersh, maman”
  • imagine baby!team samaritan’s new matching black and red jerseys
  • john scoffs. “they think theyre so cool”
  • black and red is their alternate uniform, white and red is their main. their parents are pretentious enough to demand two sets of uniforms, all perfectly starched and ironed before each game
  • assholes
  • team machine wears yellow shorts and black t shirts.
  • they look like bumblebees
  • love those bumbly kids
  • root’s goalie jersey is probably a dallas cowboys jersey
  • emmitt smith though. she has standards
  • imagine: joss and john, the dynamic duo
  • once they get a liitle older and start understanding the field, thats where the real ass kicking starts to take place
  • john cements himself as a mid
  • he spends half his time trying to save harold from rogue soccer balls and the other half mind melding with zoe and joss (the forwards) to score a shit ton of goals
  • root uses her lankiness to her advantage. nothing gets past her
  • she’s also unusually lucky. she seems to have a sixth sense on where the ball is going to be shot
  • not that she needs to try very hard. shaw is a one woman defensive army
  • leon and harold are the two defenders, but they’re useless compared to shaw
  • baby root used to try wearing boots on the field
  • that’s what all the recruiters remember in the later years. her rise to power came out of nowhere
  • everyone was busy fighting over sameen and john and joss (and jeremy and martine, from the samaritan team. fuck ‘em though)
  • then one day
  • “wait…who’s that goalie? someone new?”
  • “who has the roster for team machine?”
  • they fumble with it, scan the list
  • “…there’s no way.”
  • cue root snagging the ball out of the air one handed and punting it in one fluid motion to shaw, who passes it to john, who aggressively moves it up the field
  • “if that’s the same samantha groves we saw in houston three years ago i’ll eat my hat”
  • hersh walks up behind them. “let me let you in on a little secret”
  • they shut up realllll quick. this is the infamous hersh. the coach who led countless teams to victory before his unexplained switch to youth soccer
  • “if you want to get that young lady on your team, i suggest you never call her that name. ever”
  • the coaches nod, slightly terrified. “then what /do/ we call her?”
  • “she only answers to root. anyone who tries anything different is going to have a bad time” hersh smirks, rests his hands behind his head. “and i’ll let you folks in on another secret. root is /never/ gonna leave my team”
  • they scoff. root could have a real future with them. scholarships. eventual professional options
  • greer’s condescending voice carries from the back: “and why is that, mr. hersh? wont you share with the rest of the class?”
  • “while you oafs were overlooking her back in the day, she was part of my team. these kids are a family, understand? there’s nothing in this world powerful enough to get that one to bail on her family. least of all on sameen shaw. they’re a package deal, those two”
  • he blows a bubble with the gum he’s chewing and grins arrogantly at the recruiters
  • “and shaw’s loyal. she chose my team years ago and she’s here to stay”
  • root and shaw are a team in every sense of the word
  • they have that defense on lock. there’s have never been a better defensive wall than sameen “the hammer” shaw and root “hearteyes” groves
the camp counselor au (pt. 1)
  • harold runs the arts and crafts station
  • john is the life guard and he’s a goddang diva, always fixing his hair and doing some quick pushups before harold comes around
  • shaw teaches archery
  • it’s hot
  • root teaches wilderness survival
  • she’s terrible. she gets sidetracked and forgets her campers all the time. tries to get 4G out in the woods. she’s supposed to be teaching the kids how to make a fire but they come home knowing how to roll the perfect joint
  • her famous lecture is “plants: what to eat, what to avoid, and what to smoke”
  • leon is a counselor as well. his kids hate him. they tie him to a tree in hopes that the bear root /swears/ is in the woods gets him
  • carter ends up cutting him down
  • she’s the only reason no one has been fired or sued yet
  • capture the flag is brutal. there’s a weapons ban (john and shaw), holding campers hostage is also banned now (root), traps are set, there are decoy flags, occasionally paintball guns
  • it’s a mess
  • john and carter met way back in the day when they were still campers
  • shaw joins on as a junior counselor in late high school bc her parents thought she could use more social interaction and she needed the service hours
  • root joins bc she’s pathetically in love with shaw (she creates a fake resume to get hired)
  • on their first day shaw is immediately distracted by root’s legs. have they always been that long?
  • shaw and root are constantly sneaking off to smoke
  • carter and fusco have a bet on who will hook up first: john and harold or root and shaw
  • carter says the girls, fusco says the boys. they have stake outs with walkie talkies 
  • carter thinks she’s won bc she sees shoot making out pretty hardcore, but john asks harold out under the fireworks on the last day of camp. they make out a lot and end up doing the do in poison ivy
  • worth it
  • root is a piece of shit stoner and tries so hard to be cool for shaw. she’s got 35 diff kinds of weed alphabetized in her case like a loser. the first time they smoke together root offers to shotgun but shaw rolls her eyes to the heavens and takes a hug hit with no problem. root’s in love
  • root owns three drug rugs and two of them are rainbow