leo*

THE SIGNS ON THE FOURTH OF JULY
  • Aries:*rips open shirt to reveal tattoo of American flag* CAN I GET A HELL YEAH FOR AMERICA
  • Taurus:Manning the barbecue while wearing ear plugs
  • Gemini:Is enrolled in every hot dog eating competition
  • Cancer:In the pool with family and friends
  • Leo:Playing with sparklers on their front lawn
  • Virgo:Complaining about the noise and pollution until they see a beautiful ass firework
  • Libra:Partying with friends and getting drunk
  • Scorpio:On the roof watching the huge fireworks go off
  • Sagittarius:Setting off as many fireworks as they can get their hands on
  • Capricorn:Accidentally commits arson
  • Aquarius:"I was patriotic till I became woke"
  • Pisces:Taking pictures of the fireworks, probably burns themselves with a sparkler
what your sign is thinking on the fourth of july
  • happy birthday steve rogers!!:cancer, pisces, virgo
  • YOU AND I WERE FIRE-FIRE-FIREWORKS:taurus, aquarius, aries
  • fUck yea AMERICA! *bald eagle screech*:scorpio, capricorn, sagittarius
  • americans are fucking insane:gemini, leo, libra
Summer Jobs
  • Aries:lifeguard
  • Taurus:dog walking
  • Gemini:local newspaper reporter
  • Cancer:babysitting
  • Leo:camp counselor
  • Virgo:receptionist
  • Libra:selling home made jewelry or crafts
  • Scorpio:paid internship
  • Sagittarius:working at the animal shelter
  • Capricorn:tutoring kids
  • Aquarius:computer assistance
  • Pisces:pet-sitting
The signs as fireworks
  • More sound(that makes everyone jump) than display:Aries, Gemini, Sagittarius, Virgo
  • The ones that go off just when you think it won't work and move forward to see:Taurus, Libra, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces.
  • The ones that set something on fire:Cancer, Leo, Scorpio
WHY THE SIGNS ARE STILL SINGLE

ARIES: You’re loud and scary and it makes people uncomfortable
TAURUS: Will u ever love someone as much as food? no
GEMINI: People can’t seem to take you seriously
CANCER: You are way too guarded and isolate yourself
LEO: You’re looking for someone who will love you more than you love yourself which is hard to find
VIRGO: You’re shy as heck which sometimes gives off the wrong impression
LIBRA: You!!! flirt!!! with!!! everyone!!!
SCORPIO: You intimidate the shit out of people
SAGITTARIUS: You’re a player and people don’t wanna get seriously involved.
CAPRICORN: You never really smile and look scary a lot
AQUARIUS: Seem unapproachable
PISCES: You don’t know how to how to compose yourself and giggle too much which scares people. R u laughing at them?

the signs as cliché movie lines
  • aries:IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT? HUH? COME AT ME.
  • taurus:We can either do this the easy way, or the hard way.
  • gemini:We've got company...
  • cancer:*squints at distance* There's a storm coming.
  • leo:Yeah, you better run!
  • virgo:If I don't make it out in 20 minutes, leave without me.
  • libra:I'll tell you what it is, but then I'd have to kill you.
  • scorpio:You just don't get it, do you?
  • sagittarius:Danger is my middle name.
  • capricorn:And don't do anything stupid while we're there.
  • aquarius:It's not what it looks like!
  • pisces:We're not so different, you and I.
The Signs as Metaphors
  • Aries:her laugh is a riot
  • Taurus:her voice is a symphony
  • Gemini:her thoughts are a hurricane
  • Cancer:her eyes are sparkling diamonds
  • Leo:she's the light of your life
  • Virgo:her hands are ballerinas
  • Libra:she is every cloud's silver lining
  • Scorpio:there's a fire in her eyes
  • Sagittarius:her life is a race
  • Capricorn:she has a heart of stone
  • Aquarius:she is a rose covered in thorns
  • Pisces:her world is a blank canvas
When someone says something annoying

Internally wanting to slap that person and tell them they are fucking annoying: Aries, Taurus, Scorpio

Stares at the person with a very unimpressed face: Capricorn, Sagittarius, Libra

Mentally notes that that person is annoying, and not to spend time with them for the rest of the day: Cancer, Aquarius, Pisces 

Leaves because they can’t even: Gemini, Leo, Virgo