anonymous asked:

What is your interpretation of the photos in The Unauthorized Autobiography that are captioned, "could not possibly have been at the same time"? Do you think the implication is that VFD is a very ancient organization, dating back to the time of Machu Picchu?

The topic of these mysterious photos and captions has been addressed by Daniel Handler himself in an interview:

26. On pg 200 of the Unauthorized Autobiography, there is a picture of a man (presumably Mr. Snicket) leaning down and looking at something on the ground. The caption reads “I arrived too late- they’d already removed it.” Removed what?
Look at the top picture of that page. Does that picture remind you of a funeral?

27. How come, in all those pictures at the end of LSUA, that truck appears in so many of them?
To carry a coffin.

28. In the same set of pictures, there are two pictures of two separate ruins, both with the same caption: “…could not possibly have been at the same time.” What could not possibly have been at the same time?
Read and find out.

29. Is there any truth to the idea that those captions to those pictures refer to phrases that have been used at some other point in the book?
To be short and sweet, yes.

[Daniel Handler to Michael Cuellar - 2002 Interview (Archived Link)]

So it appears that these lines are exactly what they seem like: observations that Lemony made and that we cannot understand for lack of better context.

As to your theory about V.F.D. being very ancient, I’ve certainly had fun making a theory about it, going all the way back to Ancient Rome (Link). We don’t know exactly how old the organization is, but it appears to be very ancient. Numerous historical figures are implied to have been members throughout the series:

They might have noticed the mosaic on the grotto floor – thousands and thousands of colorful tiles, depicting noble events from the early history of a secret organization, and portraits of famous writers, scientists, artists, musicians, philosophers, and chefs who had inspired the organization ’s members.
[The Grim Grotto, Chapter Six]

Lemony Snicket's Advice on Writing a Nice Thank-You Note

1. Do not start with the thank you.

2. Start with any other sentence. If you first say, “Thank you for the nice sweater,” you can’t imagine what to write next. Say, “It was so wonderful to come home from school to find this nice sweater. Thank you for thinking of me on Arbor Day.”

3. Then you’re done.

I recommend learning how to write a very good thank-you note. A child who can write a nice thank-you note can turn into a cocaine dealer five years later and be remembered as the child who wrote nice thank-you notes.

anonymous asked:

Hi! I loved your most recent theory, the one about Mr.Poe. But what did you mean by 'But Jacques used to work for the Financial Times at the Daily Punctillo. And he wasn't fired from it until after “The Wide Window”. When was Jacques fired from the paper? I thought he was barely mentioned in the series.

We know from “The Beatrice Letters” that Jacques started working at the Daily Punctillo after graduation:

This also means that J. will be transfered to the Financial Times, which means that G., that foolish girl, will become the new fashion editor, which means that I will probably be given the position of dramatic critic.
[The Beatrice Letters, L.S. to B.B. #3]

Jacques was still publishing articles shortly before the Baudelaire fire:

For more information on the destruction of the Royal Gardens, interested parties might turn to the following articles in The Daily Punctilio, the city’s newspaper: “Arson suspected in Destruction of Royal Gardens,” by Jacques Snicket, and “Absolutely No Arson or Any Other Suspicious Thing Associated with the Royal Gardens, which Simply Burned to the Ground and Then Were Covered in Dirt Due to Wind, Says Official Fire Department,” by Geraldine Julienne.
[The Bad Beginning: Rare Edition, p.18]

This seems to have already put Jacques’ position in jeopardy. He then investigated Firstein’s murder at Lucky Smells Lumbermill and Olaf’s allies intervened to withdraw his article from the newspaper.

Perhaps you are wondering why you have not read about these vicious, unfair, and impolite acts in the newspaper, but I have reason to believe that O has somehow found a way to change the articles in The Daily Punctillo to avoid capture. For instance, a recent article described a deadly accident at Lucky Smells Lumbermill, solved by a detective who claimed to have spilled coffee on his jacket.
[The un-Authorized Autobiography, p.123]

We don’t get confirmation that Jacques got fired but the way Eleonora censors his articles strongly resembles the way she handled the firing of his brother Lemony. What seems to confirm this is this line by their colleague Geraldine Julienne, just before Esme and Jerome met each other:

As you know, the editor-in-chief of The Daily Punctillo just fired our dramatic critic, whose name escapes me.
[The un-Authorized Autobiography, p.119]

The timeline matches the time period where Jacques goes into hiding after the Firstein debacle. It appears that Jacques is the dramatic critic Geraldine was taking about here. We know from “The Beatrice Letters” that the Daily Punctillo staff change departments once one of the journalists is fired. It appears that Jacques’ got his brother’s old job as a dramatic critic after he got fired, only to lost it for the exact same reason.


The world is vast and full of wonders. So on Friday, the 13th of January, please… watch something else.


Meet the star of a new Netflix series telling the story of a very handsome actor and three selfish and ungrateful orphans who refuse to give him the enormous fortune their dead parents left behind. On @netflix January 13 2017.