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Lookalike (Negan fic) - CHAPTER 7

Vulnerability

Negan didn’t immediately separate himself from Marilyn. When he let out a loud, decompressing sigh against her she finally opened her eyes. It already felt like hundreds of questions and concerns were parading around her mind.

We hardly know each other. I would never normally do something like this. We’ve only spoken on occasion. He wasn’t wearing protection. What is wrong with me? Am I stupid? Was this wrong? Was it not? Will I tell Nina? What is Negan feeling? Was this a one time thing? I hope not…

He finally moved off of her and laid on his back, taking a deep breath and letting it out just as forcefully as he placed his hand on his chest.

Marilyn cleared her throat, not knowing what to say if anything at all. She tried to appear cool and calm but she guessed her body and her expression betrayed her.

Relax, she told herself.

Negan finally turned to look at her and the butterflies from before came rushing back to her stomach, making her arms and legs feel suddenly heavy. Before either of them could speak the walkie-talkie drew static and a male voice came through the receiver. “This is D checking in.”

He reached over her toward the night stand and grabbed the handheld radio. “Go Dwight.” Negan cleared his throat and stared outward toward the windows.

“Just updating every half hour like you suggested,” he explained.

“What’s it fucking look like on your side?” He made eye contact with Marilyn before pulling up his shorts and getting out of bed to take a closer look out the window. “I can’t see fuckin’ shit from where I am.”

“You want guys walking the perimeter?”

“No,” Negan said, “I don’t need people fuckin’ dying. If a tree falls it’s gunna fuckin’ fall whether someone’s out there or not. I just need eyes on the walls so we can be fuckin’ proactive about this fuckin’ storm.”

“All clear on my end,” Simon chimed in.

“Windy as fuck,” another male voice claimed, “But fences are secure out here too.”

He nodded to himself and then spoke back to the group of his men. “Unless something out of the ordinary happens, don’t check in for another hour.”

“Roger that,” Simon replied, prompting Dwight and the others to do the same.

Marilyn sat partway up in bed, widening her eyes when a streak of lightening highlighted Negan’s silhouette by the window. He stood there looking out from side to side for a moment before turning back around and walking toward her. She was grateful when he spoke first because she wouldn’t have known what to say to him.

“Your little friend there gunna get nosy if you don’t make it back to your room tonight?” he asked.

Marilyn raised her eyebrows not knowing if he was implying that she should stay or not. She assumed so but didn’t want to get her hopes up until he formally said the words. “Um… no.” She knew that was a lie. Her and Nina lived in the same building and she was sure her friend had probably already made the trip to her room to find it empty.

“Good.” Negan replied and then changed course to where a bottle of liquor sat out on a small table. He poured a little into a glass and took a quick shot.

“I’m sorry,” Marilyn began to say.

“For what?” he placed the glass down and paced the room before sitting on the edge of the bed.

She wasn’t sure what to say but knew now that she had to say something. He stared at her as intently as always. “I’m not… I’m not the type of woman to just jump into a man’s bed without… knowing him.”

Negan’s eyes burned into hers and she felt him reading her like a book again. “I know,” he assured her in a scratchy, almost sleepy voice.

“I can’t be just… another one of the women you keep around down-”

“I’d never ask you to,” Negan cut her off. He shook his head.

Marilyn felt simultaneous emotions from his quick response. She wasn’t wholly sure why he wouldn’t want her to, but at the same time felt like it was some sort of compliment. Still, the question still ate at her and so she asked him, “Why?”

She saw his Adam’s apple rise and fall in his throat. He looked down and then back up and she could see the question had either taken him off guard or bothered him in some way.

“I’m… sorry,” Marilyn said again, shaking her head. “Forget it.” She reached for the shirt he’d given her and saw his eyes stalking her every move as she went to get out of the bed.

“Where are you going?” Negan asked. His voice was low and soft.

Marilyn looked at him and then shrugged. “I… I don’t know.” His eyes looked almost pained and she recognized his hand was rested passively on her lower leg as if to keep her in place. She had a hard time coming to grips with all of the emotions that were running through her mind and body. “Your vulnerability is kind of freaking me out,” Marilyn confessed, staring into his eyes.

Negan’s fingers twitched against her leg. “You and me both honey.” He cleared his throat. “You don’t have to fuckin’ stay here if you don’t want to.”

She looked down at his hand that was wrapped around her ankle and Negan drew his hand back. Marilyn could read him now - at least at that the moment. She glanced down at her naked body that was still primary beneath the sheet. Negan’s eyes followed hers and Marilyn looked back at him before breaking past her comfort zone and pushing the covers to the side. She rose to her feet and could see a visible angst and discomfort in his green eyes that were now swollen with a sea of black.

“I want to stay,” she told him quietly, now baring all and facing him directly.

Negan reached for her hand, never looking away from her eyes and pulled her gently to him as he edged back onto the bed.

Marilyn put any and all anxious thoughts to the side. She had a bad habit of not living in the moment or allowing herself to feel after all of the bad things that had happened; after all the loss. For whatever reason, perhaps against all logic, being with Negan felt natural and right.

He guided her lips to his and kissed chastely on the lips at first as Marilyn adjusted herself on top of him. She locked her arms around the back of his neck and shuddered from the feel of her bare chest against his. When Negan began to lay kisses along the top of her chest along her collarbone she drifted a hand up the back of his head, entwining her fingers in his hair.

Marilyn pushed her hips down against him and felt him groan against her as his hands clutched her back, digging in his fingertips. It had been so long before that night since she’d had the touch of a man that his pressing hard-on inside his boxer-shorts made her moan.

Negan kissed her harder and slipped the band of his shorts down enough to give her the access that she needed. He took a breath in a break of their make-out session and looked down to guide her onto him.

Marilyn waited for him to look back up to her, and when his eyes met hers she made the move to up their intimacy to the next level as she lowered herself onto him. She watched as his eyes went from a yearning stare to slowing closing from the instant pleasure. When Marilyn let out a needy whimper Negan re-opened his eyes and grazed his lips against hers as he spoke.

“You fuckin’ alright doll?” Negan asked, breathing into her mouth as she began to move slowly on top of him.

She kissed him as a response and immediately felt him fall back into the moment.

“Are you going to stay?” he asked.

Marilyn swallowed hard as he began to kiss her neck as they carried on. She replied with the only word she could manage to choke out. “Yes.” When his hand drifted up to her face, Negan drew his thumb across her lips. She couldn’t remember a moment so passionate in her entire life.

“Good.”

Lookalike (Negan fanfic) - CHAPTER 6

Negan walked toward her and Marilyn felt like her entire body had just gone numb. She didn’t know what to expect; what he was going to say. She wasn’t sure if he was angry with her for being our, or annoyed now that he felt some type of obligation to look after her.

“I’m going to get you some fuckin’… dry clothes,” he told her. “Go through that door, use whatever products you want and clean up.”

“What about you?” Marilyn looked him up and down and then made eye contact with him.

“I’m fine.” He held up his radio, “I have to make sure these fuckin’ clowns are holding up their ends watching the perimeter. I’ll go in there after you.”

“Okay.” She took a deep breath and decided to be forward. “I’m grateful for all of this… but why are you helping me?”

Negan opened his mouth to speak but didn’t and then his eyebrows pressed together. “Just go do what you need to do in there.”

Marilyn nodded. “Okay.” She swallowed hard, “Thank you.”

He nodded and then headed toward his closet in search of something mildly appropriate for her to change into while Marilyn made her way into the bathroom area.

When she shut the door she had to lean against it and brace herself. Being in Negan’s room was almost too much for her mind and body to handle. She felt some odd, unspoken connection with him and knew that he could have easily assigned her to a post, told her to run to her building on the other side of the Sanctuary or a number of other things but he didn’t. He towed her with him to his room and offered her a change of clothes and a means to get clean.

“We all set Dwight?” Marilyn heard Negan’s voice from the other room as he spoke into the radio and then decided she needed to get on with it and started by removing her shoes.

The feel of the cool tile floor sent chills up her spine and when she ridded herself of the rest of her clothing she wished she was more bold like a lot of her friends had been back home; even like her friend Nina was. The truth was that Marilyn hadn’t had any form of intimate relationship since before the start of the apocalypse. If she had any backbone or thought she was sexy and confident enough she would have opened the door and approached him.

It has been years, Marilyn reminded herself. Right away she wished she hadn’t. She had never been the type of woman to have casual sex but the looks she got from Negan and the extra attention he discreetly showed her was enough now that she felt completely willing to go that route. He was rugged; sexy and had some kind of interest in her. Marilyn just wasn’t sure of his intentions yet.

She tried to push the fact that she was naked in Negan’s room out of her head and got down to the business of getting clean. She filled up the bath tub and lathered up every inch of her body with soap and warm water before giving her hair a better wash and rinse than it had for the longest time. When all was said and done Marilyn felt rejuvenated. She felt warm and alive and then wrapped a big, navy blue towel around her body before inching open the door.

A pile of clothes sat on the ground just outside the door and when she didn’t immediately see Negan she grabbed them and reentered the bathroom. Marilyn smiled to herself seeing he left her a pair of his black boxer-shorts, some gray sweatpants and a simple, white t-shirt. She couldn’t complain. The clothes looked comfortable to say the least, and even better they belonged to Negan.

Marilyn quickly threw on the clothes, looking down at the baggy nature of the ensemble and then hurried back out into the main room. While she recognized how comfortable they were she hardly thought she looked at all sexy.

Negan stood by the set of windows by his seating arrangement at the end of the room. His hands were positioned neatly behind his back and he shook his head at the chaos that still ensued outside. With the day closing the world grew darker faster. The deep gray clouds hovered above the Sanctuary, still threatening the safety of all of them.

“Thank you for the clothes,” she told him, making him spin around.

Negan looked her up and down and let out a quick laugh. “You’re welcome. It’s all I fuckin’ have.” He laughed again. “Fits just fuckin’ right too.”

Marilyn let out a slightly embarrassed chuckle, but appreciated his humor all the same. “Yeah…”

He removed his wet t-shirt, tossing it onto a chair and then headed toward the bathroom. “I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

“Okay.” She watched him go without turning his back and when the door shut she didn’t know what to do. For a minute she just stood there in the center of the room. Anxious thoughts ran through her mind and she quickly made her way to a mirror to check herself out.

Marilyn ran her hands through her towel-dried hair and took a second to admire the fresh aroma that radiated out of it. She then scrunched her nose, displeased with her makeup-less face and ran her hands over the slight bags under her eyes. She knew she could have spent hours obsessing over her appearance but decided she couldn’t. After a few minutes she went and sat in one of the chairs, then rose after several minutes and stood by the window. The sight of the trees swaying with the rapid fading of the last few minutes of daylight made her uneasy. She walked over toward the bed and sat down on the edge so stiffly that she knew she must’ve looked as uncomfortable as she felt.

Where should I sit? Marilyn hadn’t felt like such a nervous wreck in all of her life. She continue to change her position from standing to sitting to standing again until Negan finally returned wearing a fresh white t-shirt and a pair of plaid, blue boxer-shorts. He drew a towel over the top of his head, sending his wet hair sticking up in all directions. He quickly ran his hands over the top of it so it was mildly slicked back and didn’t bother to take a look at himself in the mirror like Marilyn had.

“You can sit,” Negan informed her, noting how stiff she stood with her hands placed on the back of one of the chairs by the window. He looked her up and down and then pointed toward a television. “I have a shitload of movies.”

Marilyn let out a breath through her nose and walked slowly across the room. She eyed the TV and expected Negan to turn to follow her gaze but he didn’t. He stared back at her. When her eyes returned to his she let out the question without reserve that had been dancing in her mind for months. “Why do you do things for me?” She looked at him standing so casually out of his typical attire in front of her. It shouldn’t have been so normal for him to do such a thing, or so she thought. Negan was always so professional; so intimidating and never missed a beat in front of his people. The role he played was constant… except for right then.

“I feel like… I fuckin’ know you,” he admitted.

“What do you mean?” Marilyn took another few steps toward him, the anticipating of the situation eating at her.

Negan’s eyes never left hers, and she only looked down for a brief moment when she felt vulnerable, like he could read her thoughts. “I don’t know,” he confessed, “It doesn’t really make much fuckin’ sense to me but…”

Marilyn let in a deeper breath, her chest rising and falling once as she stared back at him waiting.

“You just remind me of… someone I used to know,” Negan finished, walking toward her. “I don’t know if that sounds good, bad or fuckin’ indifferent to you but that’s the best I can fuckin’ do.”

The two of them stood nearly a foot apart now and Marilyn almost couldn’t breath.

Did I forget what to do? she suddenly wondered, feeling like she was seventeen again and on the verge of fooling around for the first time with her boyfriend after the prom. Any nerve Marilyn had in her body had completely betrayed her.

Negan cleared his throat. “I didn’t bring you here for any fuckin’ reason other than to pull you out of the fuckin’ storm,” he claimed.

“I… I know.” She swallowed again and nodded.

“You know?” Negan’s eyes squinted a bit as he stared at her and took a step deeper into her personal space. When she didn’t move back he stayed put and challenged her with his eyes.

Marilyn almost couldn’t get the word out. She didn’t know if the answer was right or wrong. “Yeah…”

They were nearly nose to nose now and Negan’s eyes were attempting to read her face again; read her posture.

She changed her mind. “Well, I’m not sure if I know.” Marilyn stared up at him, leaning toward him as Negan reached both of his hands up, running them up from the outside of her neck to the sides of her face.

“I’m not sure either,” Negan said quietly.

Marilyn reached a hand up and placed it over one of his on her face. She didn’t look away from his eyes this time until hers closed when he pressed his lips against hers.

A jolt of adrenaline shot through her body and Marilyn melted against him, kissing him back and attempting to keep up with his fluid enthusiasm.

Negan’s tongue danced against hers and he slipped one hand just a few inches up the back of her shirt, resting it on the bare skin of her lower back. When he pulled away, Marilyn let out a heavy sigh and a moan she tried to suppress.

He

“Fuck,” he breathed the word into her mouth and Marilyn let her hormones override her mind. She crushed her lips back to his and allowed Negan’s hands to sweep down her hips sending the oversized sweatpants to the hardwood floor.

Marilyn stepped out of them and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck as he picked her up by the backs of her legs and set her down on the bed, tossing the covers to the side as he did. The feel of his erection through pushing against her made her body ache. When he lifted her shirt and began to kiss her stomach she laid back and closed her eyes until she felt him hovering above her.

“You sure you want to fuckin’ do this?” he spoke in a husky whisper against her lips.

“Yeah.” Marilyn didn’t hesitate and ran her hands up his shirt, prompting him to duck out of it and toss it to the side. She bent her knees, positioning them on the outsides of his legs as he purposely pushed himself against her.

Negan kissed her again and helped her rid herself of the big, white t-shirt he had given her, leaving her wearing nothing but his boxer shorts. When he latched on to one of her breasts with his mouth Marilyn had to convince herself that she wasn’t dreaming. Waves of pleasure trickled to every part of her body and she eagerly removed the shorts that provided one of the last barriers between the two of them.

He took in the length of her body as she slid the underwear down her leg and struggled to hook it off the end of her foot. Marilyn pulled him back to her, kissing him hard until he let out a moan of his own and slipped his shorts down to release himself. Negan worked his way up her neck with his lips and teeth until he latched onto her ear. “I fuckin’ want you Marilyn,” he whispered, pushing himself up against her in a raw, teasing fashion.

She urged him on, pushing down on her lower back and raising her hips in an attempt to connect herself to him. Marilyn closed her eyes as he continued to suck on her earlobe before pulling back to take in her features as he pushed himself inside of her.

Marilyn moaned once and tightened her grasp around him, locking her legs around his waist. When he thrusted himself into her the first time she felt his deep exhale land on her neck.

“God Negan.”

He moaned as he continued on, tilting her hips back a bit to enter her deeper while still moving at a slow, controlled pace. “How long’s it fuckin’ been honey?” he asked.

“Mmm…” she moaned, “Awhile.”

“I can fuckin’ tell.” Negan barely got the words out. He ran his hand the length of her arm and locked his fingers with hers above her head on the mattress.

Marilyn squeezed his hand and bit down on her bottom lip. Negan was far more sensual than she anticipated. She saw him as the type to rip a woman’s clothes off, have fast, hard sex and send her on her way. While the thought was hot in its own way Marilyn was thankful for the way he paid attention to every part of her body, for the way he kissed her in a way that screamed passion and experience and how each pump of his hips was just controlled enough to allow her to feel every inch of him.

She gripped the back of his head as he bit down lightly on her shoulder before trailing kisses back up her neck. Marilyn engrained the feel of his scruffy beard against her sensitive flesh in her mind and knew the feeling with stick with her long after their encounter was over. When she tried to suppress a moan he picked up the pace and kissed her again. “Let it out honey.” Negan groaned when she tightened herself around him and felt his own set of chills when she did as he asked, accompanying his name in the pleasure-filled lament.

Marilyn didn’t hold back after that, seeming to compete with him as he matched every moan she let out with one of his own. It all suddenly became almost too much for her to handle as she let herself go - the feel of his hands as they wandered to all the right places, his fluid thrusting inside of her and the wordless appreciation he let out in sighs and whimpers for her as he neared his climax.

Negan felt her contract against him and she muffled a string of unrecognizable words and sounds against his neck as he lead her to a climatic moment that brought him over the edge no more than a few seconds later.

Marilyn held him hard when he cursed and jolted forward on top her hard enough to send the headboard slamming into the wall several times before he let out a deep breath against her neck and finally laid still on top of her.

She kept her eyes closed, matching his heavy breathing with her own and felt a sense of contentment when he kissed the area just below her ear several times in a row. Marilyn had no idea what to expect when he eventually moved off of her and faced her but the thought was just a fleeting one as she tried to process everything that had just happened.