Lookalike (Negan fic) - CHAPTER 7
Negan didn’t immediately separate himself from Marilyn. When he let out a loud, decompressing sigh against her she finally opened her eyes. It already felt like hundreds of questions and concerns were parading around her mind.
We hardly know each other. I would never normally do something like this. We’ve only spoken on occasion. He wasn’t wearing protection. What is wrong with me? Am I stupid? Was this wrong? Was it not? Will I tell Nina? What is Negan feeling? Was this a one time thing? I hope not…
He finally moved off of her and laid on his back, taking a deep breath and letting it out just as forcefully as he placed his hand on his chest.
Marilyn cleared her throat, not knowing what to say if anything at all. She tried to appear cool and calm but she guessed her body and her expression betrayed her.
Relax, she told herself.
Negan finally turned to look at her and the butterflies from before came rushing back to her stomach, making her arms and legs feel suddenly heavy. Before either of them could speak the walkie-talkie drew static and a male voice came through the receiver. “This is D checking in.”
He reached over her toward the night stand and grabbed the handheld radio. “Go Dwight.” Negan cleared his throat and stared outward toward the windows.
“Just updating every half hour like you suggested,” he explained.
“What’s it fucking look like on your side?” He made eye contact with Marilyn before pulling up his shorts and getting out of bed to take a closer look out the window. “I can’t see fuckin’ shit from where I am.”
“You want guys walking the perimeter?”
“No,” Negan said, “I don’t need people fuckin’ dying. If a tree falls it’s gunna fuckin’ fall whether someone’s out there or not. I just need eyes on the walls so we can be fuckin’ proactive about this fuckin’ storm.”
“All clear on my end,” Simon chimed in.
“Windy as fuck,” another male voice claimed, “But fences are secure out here too.”
He nodded to himself and then spoke back to the group of his men. “Unless something out of the ordinary happens, don’t check in for another hour.”
“Roger that,” Simon replied, prompting Dwight and the others to do the same.
Marilyn sat partway up in bed, widening her eyes when a streak of lightening highlighted Negan’s silhouette by the window. He stood there looking out from side to side for a moment before turning back around and walking toward her. She was grateful when he spoke first because she wouldn’t have known what to say to him.
“Your little friend there gunna get nosy if you don’t make it back to your room tonight?” he asked.
Marilyn raised her eyebrows not knowing if he was implying that she should stay or not. She assumed so but didn’t want to get her hopes up until he formally said the words. “Um… no.” She knew that was a lie. Her and Nina lived in the same building and she was sure her friend had probably already made the trip to her room to find it empty.
“Good.” Negan replied and then changed course to where a bottle of liquor sat out on a small table. He poured a little into a glass and took a quick shot.
“I’m sorry,” Marilyn began to say.
“For what?” he placed the glass down and paced the room before sitting on the edge of the bed.
She wasn’t sure what to say but knew now that she had to say something. He stared at her as intently as always. “I’m not… I’m not the type of woman to just jump into a man’s bed without… knowing him.”
Negan’s eyes burned into hers and she felt him reading her like a book again. “I know,” he assured her in a scratchy, almost sleepy voice.
“I can’t be just… another one of the women you keep around down-”
“I’d never ask you to,” Negan cut her off. He shook his head.
Marilyn felt simultaneous emotions from his quick response. She wasn’t wholly sure why he wouldn’t want her to, but at the same time felt like it was some sort of compliment. Still, the question still ate at her and so she asked him, “Why?”
She saw his Adam’s apple rise and fall in his throat. He looked down and then back up and she could see the question had either taken him off guard or bothered him in some way.
“I’m… sorry,” Marilyn said again, shaking her head. “Forget it.” She reached for the shirt he’d given her and saw his eyes stalking her every move as she went to get out of the bed.
“Where are you going?” Negan asked. His voice was low and soft.
Marilyn looked at him and then shrugged. “I… I don’t know.” His eyes looked almost pained and she recognized his hand was rested passively on her lower leg as if to keep her in place. She had a hard time coming to grips with all of the emotions that were running through her mind and body. “Your vulnerability is kind of freaking me out,” Marilyn confessed, staring into his eyes.
Negan’s fingers twitched against her leg. “You and me both honey.” He cleared his throat. “You don’t have to fuckin’ stay here if you don’t want to.”
She looked down at his hand that was wrapped around her ankle and Negan drew his hand back. Marilyn could read him now - at least at that the moment. She glanced down at her naked body that was still primary beneath the sheet. Negan’s eyes followed hers and Marilyn looked back at him before breaking past her comfort zone and pushing the covers to the side. She rose to her feet and could see a visible angst and discomfort in his green eyes that were now swollen with a sea of black.
“I want to stay,” she told him quietly, now baring all and facing him directly.
Negan reached for her hand, never looking away from her eyes and pulled her gently to him as he edged back onto the bed.
Marilyn put any and all anxious thoughts to the side. She had a bad habit of not living in the moment or allowing herself to feel after all of the bad things that had happened; after all the loss. For whatever reason, perhaps against all logic, being with Negan felt natural and right.
He guided her lips to his and kissed chastely on the lips at first as Marilyn adjusted herself on top of him. She locked her arms around the back of his neck and shuddered from the feel of her bare chest against his. When Negan began to lay kisses along the top of her chest along her collarbone she drifted a hand up the back of his head, entwining her fingers in his hair.
Marilyn pushed her hips down against him and felt him groan against her as his hands clutched her back, digging in his fingertips. It had been so long before that night since she’d had the touch of a man that his pressing hard-on inside his boxer-shorts made her moan.
Negan kissed her harder and slipped the band of his shorts down enough to give her the access that she needed. He took a breath in a break of their make-out session and looked down to guide her onto him.
Marilyn waited for him to look back up to her, and when his eyes met hers she made the move to up their intimacy to the next level as she lowered herself onto him. She watched as his eyes went from a yearning stare to slowing closing from the instant pleasure. When Marilyn let out a needy whimper Negan re-opened his eyes and grazed his lips against hers as he spoke.
“You fuckin’ alright doll?” Negan asked, breathing into her mouth as she began to move slowly on top of him.
She kissed him as a response and immediately felt him fall back into the moment.
“Are you going to stay?” he asked.
Marilyn swallowed hard as he began to kiss her neck as they carried on. She replied with the only word she could manage to choke out. “Yes.” When his hand drifted up to her face, Negan drew his thumb across her lips. She couldn’t remember a moment so passionate in her entire life.