Today I was rehearsing with the guitarist from the show I’m doing and I was coughing up a lung bc I’m sick and I was just kidding but I told him he needed to bring me a lemon for me to slice up and put in a cup of tea and so I show up to the show tonight to get ready and he sets down a big ass lemon on my dressing room table and then brings out like 5 boxes of Halloween Oreos and for those of you who pay attention to my posts you know what a big fucking deal that is and so long story short I now have a lemon and more Oreos than I know what to do with
“Why is there a naked Ken Barbie doll tied up in your room?” “Goddammit, ____! I told you not to go in there!”
“No Candice, I am NOT selling you my soul again.”
“why is the fairy holding a gun.”
“Jesus Christ on a boat made of crackers, what are you doing outside of the pod ship again?”
“WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT” “He said I couldn’t… and I thought it was a challenge…”
“How the fuck did you dye the ocean ORANGE?!”
“Why are the roses green?”
“Great, you made death angry.”
“That better be a press on tattoo.”
“If you only listened to the nature, you could learn more than humans ever passed to us.”
“So, we’re dead?” “Well, kind of… yeah.”
“Remind me again why you have a centaur tied up in your truck?”
“Can you stop staring into my soul every time we meet? I feel exposed.”
“You do realize that he wasn’t breathing when he spoke to us, right?”
“I liked you better when you where possessed by that demon friend of yours”
“You’re absolutely in love with him and have been for at least 2 years if you don’t go tell him how you feel I swear to god I will”
“There are worse things in life than death.” “Nobody asked you,Lucifer.” “Just saying.”
“Well, it’s wonderful that you’re having a sexuality crisis, but in case you forgot, we’re kind of in the middle of STOPPING THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!”
“Why is there a horse crashing on our couch?” “Oh, that’s Satan.”
“Why would I hang out with you? You’re so incompetent! Your sacrifice to the faeries was so insufficient!”
“Where the hell did the dragon go?! He was right here!”
“Ok, the recipie calls for two cups of lemon and a cup of sugar, but all I see are cough syrup and battery acid…”
“What do you mean today’s not a Tuesday?!”
“So everyone on Earth had the same dream as me?”
“you know what will solve that? Scotch.”
“I didn’t ask for this!” “… you didn’t?”
“How is it that the least likely outcome is always the outcome I receive?!” “You should go buy a lottery ticket.”
“Guys, i know you’re all busy, but if any of you wants the dinner done, i will need my arm back”
“Of COURSE I care about you. That’s why I sold your soul on the black market.”
“JOHN I AM BEGINNING TO QUESTION THE VALIDITY OF YOUR PLAN” “AS AM I ALEX, AS AM I”
“I will take the concept of my rage, transform it into a physical weapon, and use it to BEAT YOU TO DEATH!”
“Did you really HAD to slap the shark?!” “I mean… If you want me to kick it-”
“I don’t care, your tamagotchi dying is not an excuse to wake me up before noon!”
“You are telling me that the socks with hearts that I’ve been mocking since the first day you arrived are, in fact, what keep you alive?” “Yes!” “What?”
“So you really want me to believe that you’re actually from the future?”
“Dude. What have you done. Now we HAVE TO save those aliens!”
“Can you just stop?” “God no, why would I do that?”
“Hey at least I get laid doing it”
“While that’s a lovely story, it doesn’t quite explain the fires.”
“Dude, please tell me that you planned to deal with her guardian angel when you killed her.”
“That’s such a stupid idea… let’s do it.”
“What do you MEAN this just HAPPENS?!” “All the time, actually.”
“I swear, one day you’ll kill us both.” “Oh please, I’ve never been that reckless.” “…” “That was ONE TIME!”
“Why did you buy a nuke?!” “Why wouldn’t I? It was on sale”
“I am fueled purely by rage and instant coffee.”
“How are you a million years old, bit you can’t even remember who George Washington is?”
“Because I gave not, a single shit.”
“Is that a marijuana? In my good Christian suburbs?!”
“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE?? YOU NEVER USE THE DRAGON, YOU IDIOT”
“I don’t care if he’s a unicorn, NO ONE EATS MY MINI EGGS!”
“Jesus Christ Lewis! *Again* with the Snails?” “It’s Thursday! You said Thursday’s were okay!”
“Here’s a story for you. I woke up in Vegas as a makeup guru. I was REALLY drunk.”
“If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you…WAIT, NO IT WAS A JOKE, STOP!”
“You’re kinda like hitchhiking Ghost Busters, aren’t you?”
“For gods sake, ditch the fanny pack”
“Take the tomato!” “No, I don’t want the tomato” “JUST TAKE THE TOMATO”
“‘That’s no moon!’ Everyone remembered Jimmy’s words that night as he scolded his friends for half-heartedly pulling their pants down.”
“WHY IS THERE A BEAR IN MY BATHROOM”
“Can you believe it?” “Just barely.” "Man, I never thought he would ACTUALLY throw the chair.“
"What did you THINK girl scout cookies were made of?”
“Really? That’s not what I heard from Mrs. Sanchez across the hall!” “Mom she’s literally a possessed cow, why do you listen to her?”
“You got the rubber chicken, cheese whiz, and dish soap?” “Yep” “Ok, let’s do this!”
“Are you building a life-sized Godzilla at 3am again?”
“Don’t get pissy at me, YOU’RE the one who didn’t say what kind of tea bags to get for the clown!”
"So YOU’RE the guy the math textbooks warned us about.”
“Where’s our cat?” “I thought you were responsible for it?..”
“What do you mean I’m half demon”
“why are you duct taping a cat to the ceiling?” “aesthetic.”
“Hope is a lie. So is philosophy, morality, language in general, the sky, dogs, and about a third of the population of Michigan.”
“So let me get this straight. You filled a Darth Vader costume… With cats?”
“How did I die this time?” “Well, it was pretty quick. I missed it, but from what I can tell, you convinced an entire school of 4000 people to throw watermelons at you all at the same time.” “…And?” “The impact of the watermelons threw you back a couple hundred kilometers and you landed in the ocean…inside the mouth of a particularly hungry shark.” “Goddamn it I wanted this death to be metal!”
“Yesterday I learned that my childhood friend was a demon.”
“Please tell me you said 'What bothers me most.’ "Yes? What the hell did you think I said?” Well….it kinda sounded like “His father’s meatloaf.’
"Goddammit, why won’t you die?!” "I DON’T FUCKING KNOW! “
"I’d appreciate it if you fucking stopped, thanks.”
“What the hell is this?” “It’s jello, you eat it”
"You didn’t” “I did and I made them watch”
"Why in the hell did you think this was a good idea?” “Look, YOU try saying 'No’ to not just a primordial deity, but my little sister as well.” “…Ok, you got me there.”
“How do you know that it’s supposed to look like this?”
“Are you making *tea*?!” “Well what else am I supposed to do?” “I don’t know maybe STOP THE MONSTER THATS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!!”
“Why are you in a dress?” “Lucifer wanted to have a tea party. You don’t say no to Lucifer”
“So you’re telling me that aliens invaded while I was on vacation?”
“I appreciate the gesture but I prefer my horses fried rather than alive.”
*whining* “But Mooommm, I don’t want to save the woooorrld!”
“Now I know not to cry there”
“What if we DIDNT kill the king every Thursday” “Good idea we’ll kill him on Fridays instead.”
“So you’re a zombie now?” “I guess I am” “So what are you gonna do about it?” “*shrug* I don’t know….”
“I guess you weren’t joking when you said that the world is ruled by ants”
“When I die, tell everyone 'I told you so.’”
“You’re not real… You’re only in those silly books!” “Correction, my dear, you’re the fictional one.”
“There was no 'free pie’ you moron! You stole it!”
“Okay, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that my pet rock has gained sentience, just like we planned! The bad news is that it turns out he’s evil and is currently building a rock army with the intent of taking over the world. aaaand, he’s trying to get Mt. Everest on his side.”
“Why is our baby on a wanted poster?”
“Zombies are people too, Mom!”
“… I’m gonna go for it. Hold my head for me real quick, and don’t put it on a mannequin like you did last time.”
“Fascinating… I was unaware that was physically plausible.” “I know right.”
“ACHOO!” “Bless you.” “No sorry, that won’t work on me.”
“Bye, Felicia. Take you and your cat ears! GO!”
Prepare yourselves, because starting from tomorrow we will be making ‘100 Prompts That Will Make You Cry’ lists. Hope you enjoy this one. Which prompt do you like the most?
💖 sparkle up your heart by doing random acts of kindness to the people you love or even to strangers (if ur comfortable with that)
🐶 pat your doggos, pets, and animals friends for a happy soul! give em extra hugs for optimal results!
🐣 dont chicken out! if u want to do something that makes u happy, just do it! and always remember to do it for yourself
🐚 collect sum cute shells in the beach, fill a smol jar with sand, and chill with ur friends/significant other
🌱 go on a botanical garden adventure! make ur own garden! plant the old seeds u bought from a plant shop, water your little sprouts!
🍵 drink a warm cup of earl grey tea or coffee! spice it up with cinnamon if u want! (i dont like. cinnamon tho but u kno)
🍋 detoxify!! lemon is a good antioxidant! drink a cup of lemonade or do ur mix in ur own way!
🍓 boost ur health (bc it is wealth) by eating and storing a couple of organic fruits for personal consumption
🌻 go buy yourself some sunflowers, daisies, zinnias, crysanthemums in the farmer’s market
🌞 go out, experience the sunny weekdays, enjoy the feel of sun beams during the golden hours, fall in love with the summer feel
🌚 observe the moon, fall in love with the stars, embrace the beauty of the skies and the galaxies
📌 grab the keys and go on a crazy spontaneous adventure !! bring a tad of food for picnic purposes too
🎨 make art, appreciate art, be ur own version of masterpiece. grow up and craft yourself to become ur best version!
🔮 invest in the little things in life. enjoy the smell of rain, the copper brwn color of your trees on autumn, living for the littlest things is (proven to be) magical.
⌚ dont worry too much!! you are not running out of time. you are still young and you have ur life ahead of you.
🎥 film all the beautiful things about your days. do it for achive’s sake. do it for your future self. do it so that u may be able to rewatch it over and over again
🎶 listen to good soothing music while taking a shower, nap, or walking on parks!!
💌 write your future self a letter that talks about your aspirations and dreams and a little description about ur present self
📖 read your favorite books under the genre feel-good! reread if u want to feel the lingering joy inside ur chest again!
💭 talk to your friends, colleagues, best buds etc! it is never okay to bottle up the sadness!!
🔎 research cute places you’ve never been to and visit them alone, with your significant other, or with your best pals! google is ur adventure bestfriend!
✨ dont forget to sparkle up! ur shinier than the glitters!
💤 get some sleep to recharge for a brighter tomorrow! oversleeping may sometimes be bad for u tho
✋ give yourself a high five for surviving today and yesterday! im proud of u!
📯 learn a new instrument and compose a cute song for your friend!
Hey you! I dare you to try your
best to follow this checklist tomorrow! But hey! Not so fast. Why not try it
again the next day (and every day after that)? Sometimes it’s the smaller
changes that can in fact help improve our health and wellbeing, especially when
we think we’re short of time. School stressing you out? Everything is going to
be ok. Try a few little things here. Tick everything off that you completed! Tell
me how it goes for you!
This was a spontaneous post and I’ve found that I’ve been making errors in my posts recently! Plz correct me bc I am an egg. Hope u like it anyway.
Wake up as soon as you do
naturally or when your alarm goes off. Make your bed! Open the blinds!
Get out of bed and s t r e t c h
– all the way from the very tips of your fingers to the tips of your toes.
(Trust me, this feels good)
Set your intention for the day.
This might be weird for some, but try it. Example: Today I will be productive. I will be focused on my tasks and I will
take the time to relax when needed. It doesn’t have to be as complicated –
Example 2: I can do this. Remind
Eat breakfast. A MUST. Try my
favourite: eggs (poached, scrambled or fried) on toast with avocado or baked
beans. Yes. We are on a roll today.
Drink one full glass of water
within the hour of waking (don’t down it all in one go though!).
Add 1/8 of a lemon to this. Lemon
is great to alkalise the body and getting that digestive system of yours goin!
This will flush out toxins in the body and support your immune system too!
Side note: Wait half an hour
before brushing your teeth after this (or maybe do it before) because lemons
are acidic after all and can probably do some damage to your shiny whites.
Try having a water bottle by your
bedside and beside you throughout the day as a constant reminder to drink water
as you see it. Trust me, this has helped improve my water intake a lot.
Organise your day. What are your
plans? What are of priority and what are not? Try brain dumping this, and then
organising each task/item into a list, categorised in importance. This will
help decrease stress throughout the day and easy referral back to this list.
Dress in some lovely clothes!
Your fave sweater and some cool black tights? 100%!! What about that pretty
skirt you like with a nice top? HECK YEAH!!!
Lunchtime! Eat again. Wholesome
foods are an absolute must whenever you can.
Aim for 3-4 cups of water by
lunchtime (inclusive of the glass of lemon water you had this morning).
Remember that intention you set
this morning? Say it again.
Throw a compliment at someone. Be
genuine. This will have a butterfly effect. If someone throws one at you to –
don’t disagree! Say thank you. You rock, don’t doubt that.
Are there any ticks beside those
tasks on your checklist from this morning? I hope so!
Throw in a random burst of
exercise! In public too – who cares! Pick one of these: 50 starjumps! 3 sets of
10 squats! A quick walk around outdoors!
Arvo (/Afternoon… Straya):
Hit that 3pm slump? Same. Here
are a few ideas to get you going, especially coming home from a long day:
NAP! 15-20 mins. No longer. No
less. Be strict here or your sleep pattern might go funny and we don’t want
that. (And groggy headaches are gross)
Exercise! This is so fundamental
to our health and wellbeing. Try out short pilates videos (no equipment) here (that as living proof, work) or some really cool yoga videos here, here, and here. Yoga is great. Try this
daily. Or take a brisk walk for 30
minutes = wake up your brain, pick up
your mood AND burn some fat. C’mon, go get your shoes!
Write down your to do list for
any work, study or event related things that you need to complete this
afternoon. Set out all your equipment, sort out your papers from the day and
(bedroom/bed/desk/floor/work/closet) space for 5 minutes every day. I’m
guessing that you’ve started to pile a few things here like I do. This will
save you time and help maintain cleanliness, staving away from the complicated
stress that comes from having to reorganise just about everything which we all
know to hate when we’re busy with other things.
Have you had your 5th and 6th cups of water of the day yet? Get to it!
Sit up straighter and you’ll look
more confident and feel more confident. Your back will also be very grateful
Continue all your extra to-dos.
Get this done. You can do it!
Make sure to put something in
your body guys. I’m talking food here by the way… don’t let that sentence
mislead you! This is especially important for those of you probably thinking “I’ll just eat later” or “I’m not hungry”. Eat. EAT NOW. PleASE.
Spend some quality time with your
family. How’s their day been? Tell them about yours too.
Glasses of water No. 7, 8 and
beyond should be here.
Prep your meals, lists, notes,
outfits, etc. for the next day. Getting these things sorted now will help you
get it out of the way and save you time!
Settle down a little. It’s time
to wiiiind doooooooownnn. Read a book. Scroll through Tumblr (aaayeee!) – but
not too deep into the pits okay guys. Watch a little TV.
I know a lot of posts say to
switch off 1-2 hours before bed. If you’re literally glued to your electronics,
try switching off 5 minutes earlier every day and replace that with something
else. What about doing your prep items for the next day (listed two points
back!!)? Or, do get those pesky chores out the way.
Side note: Cleaning your room
often will help freshen it, get rid of itchy dust and decrease the chances of
bugs and other smol random things to crawl around your room. (If that’s not a
little motivation then I’m not sure what is…). It’ll also keep your space
maintained so you don’t have to do it all at once. *Shudders* Plus the
likelihood of those gross germs from the world hanging around and building up
in there is a no-no.
Sleep! 7-8 hours. Your body will
thank you for it. CRUCIAL for healthy brain and body function. Plus your mood
and skin will improve (i.e. gOODBYE EYEBAGS and hELLO GLOWING SKIN).
Side note: I see you reading this
at 12am when you should be sleeping. I see you.
I hope this has helped you guys a little or at
least inspired you to make a small change to your daily routine! Try doing a
few items here (e.g. glass of lemon water, sitting up straighter, 8+ cups of
water) and record this on a habit tracker! The smallest changes often have the
Hi lovelies! I hope you are having a beautiful day/night! Okay, so, Spring is almost upon us, this means warmth, sunshine, and Ostara! This is again, another recipe that you can use for Ostara, and you can also use it throughout spring and summer. This is super, super easy! And, you can customize it any way you want! If u guys give this a shot, let me know! Tell me what you think! Onto the recipe!
🍋A large pitcher that can hold everything
🍋A small pot
🍋8 Cups water
🍋1&½ Cup sugar
🍋1&½ Tbs honey
🍋1&½ Cup lemon juice
🍋Lavender to your taste, I use a few Tbs dried
🍋Take 1 of your cups of water and all of your sugar and put it in the pot, bring to boil, stir until the sugar had dissolved and at the end add honey and Lavender then incorporate.
🍋Take off heat and let cool.
🍋While that’s cooling juice your lemons.
🍋In your large pitcher add your other 7 cups of water, the lemon juice, and your lavender simple syrup.
🍋Mix together and let chill together
I’m training a neural network to generate recipes based on a database of about 30,000 examples, and although it sometimes comes up with ingredients that sound like a bad idea, sometimes it invents some that you could plausibly ask for at Whole Foods and act all disappointed when they don’t have any:
¼ cup coconut fluff rings 1 teaspoon cooked buster grapes ½ cup shanked whipping peanuts 6 tablespoon lemon turn beans 1 seeds of the chocolate cheese 1 cup milk bat leaves 1 ½ cup sherry stick ¼ line phempherbly ice ½ cup shrimp white pine baking powder 1 teaspoon baking curny sauce ¼ cup milked salt 8 oz canned pomegranate crescents 12 oz can canned and chopped pistachio stock
when you’re studying non-stop, working really hard… but eventually, you start
feeling less productive? I’ve come to realize that in such cases it’s good,
even necessary to take a study break. So here’s how to master them!
minutes: just enough time for you to relax a little, but not so much that you
fall completely out of your game.
this totally depends on what you’re studying, how hard it is etc, but normally
I’ll take a study break every hour and a half.
What do you
do during them?
Go to the
bathroom. Wash your face, remove your makeup, go to the toilet if you need to.
food & water. Sometimes, studying can make you hungry, and water’s always
good to have around. I’d tell you to opt for
something healthy when it comes to food, but more often than not I’ll choose to
eat Oreos, biscuits or some other sweets.
Take a nap. This is perhaps the most straightforward one; just lie down for a few minutes. Make sure you’ve set an alarm clock though, or else you will oversleep. Trust me; it’s happened before.
your study space. I have quite a big desk, but sometimes it can feel like the
random items of stationery, pieces of paper, textbooks and other random crap is
just taking over everything. I swear, it really helps if you clean up the
things around you!
Go online. I’m a little reluctant to recommend this because I know how hard it is to stop afterwards, but if you consciously limit yourself and know that you’ll stop after 15-20 minutes, then watching a few YouTube videos, going on tumblr or talking to friends of Facebook can be a great way to relax.
yourself a tea. Or coffee – but personally I’m more of a tea person during
studying. I’ll make myself a nice cup of black tea with lemon and sugar, and afterwards,
everything just goes better.
episode of a TV show/anime. These are slightly longer, but are a great way to
take your mind off whatever you’re studying. I’d recommend watching something
which is short (ie. not a full, hour-long episode of Game of Thrones) – like Friends,
HIMYM or Family Guy. These are great because the shows are pretty episodic, you
won’t feel inclined to keep watching more and more. As for anime, don’t pick one
where you know you won’t be able to stop after one episode. Instead, I’d
recommend something like Hetalia (hilarious; also great if you’re studying Geo
or History), Gintama (pure gold),
Samurai Champloo (the perfect combination of fun and deep).
there you have it: the art of taking a study break. Good luck, everyone!
In a pitcher, mix together lemon
juice, simple syrup, and water. Adjust taste as necessary (more simple
syrup, more lemon juice, etc). Stir in the peach vodka. Pour the drink
over crushed ice and garnish with sliced peaches.