lemon hi

some fox hcs bc i’m sick and it’s all i’ve been thinking about:

  • when they have movie nights, allison and matt have a competition to see who can catch more popcorn in their mouths. allison always wins so matt just throws popcorn at her without even letting her catch it
  • they all go team grocery shopping after finding out neil has never had at least 50% of the junk food they all grew up on
  • renee takes up crocheting and makes them all fox print patterned socks. they wear them every movie night(even andrew)
  • nicky gets homesick sometimes and when he does he makes a lot of the traditional dishes his mom would and the foxes eat all of it even though they literally saw nicky chopping raw jalapenos earlier
  • allison and dan are real housewives fanatics and they will kill a man to get to the tv. kevin still has the scars on his arm from where allison nearly clawed his arm off for trying to change the tv
  • the foxes do charity dog washing at a nearby pet shelter and neil literally almost gets smothered by the biggest dog there and that’s when the foxes find out neil is the biggest dog magnet
  • nicky makes the mistake of teaching andrew to bake and he never leaves the kitchen. but the tower always smells like vanilla so that’s a bonus
  • neil cannot cook for shit and i’m standing by this until i die. he tried making cup noodles in the dorm microwave and matt came back to a small fire and a calm neil just watching the fire blaze
  • neil twists his ankle falling down some stairs and matt uses this as an excuse to bridal carry him everywhere
  • “do i even weigh anything to you?”  “no, it’s like holding a couple of grapes.”
  • allison and neil take exactly 5 hours every saturday to go shopping, get facials, gossip. allison has video proof of neil sitting on a lounge chair with his whole face covered in a cucumber face mask, sipping lemon water, and getting his nails done. he looks right into her camera and in the most deadpan voice says “ah yes, the bourgeoisie.” the video ends with allison snickering and dropping her phone 
  • whenever anyone is late to practice they have to go on a run with neil and every time they fall behind is a lap they have to do at the next practice. no one is late again after kevin comes back from a run and passes the fuck out
  • the foxes went to disney world once and lost andrew. they don’t speak of it ever again. 
  • matt when asked by some sexist reporter why he listens to what the girls tell him to do: dan’s my girlfriend, renee could kill me, and allison has enough dirt on me to ruin my life until i die. also i respect them more than your crusty ass so that’s there as well. next question?
  • (matt isn’t allowed to do press duty for the next week after that)
  • kevin, five drinks in and nearing tipsy: if renee ever became a villian we’d all be screwed
  • the rest of the foxes except for renee and andrew: AMEN
  • casual cheek kisses are a thing among the foxes but no one kisses neil around andrew unless they want to lose a toe
  • it isn’t a question if whether or not a drunk kevin has acidentally called andrew “aaron”, it’s whether or not kevin actually made it out alive
  • nicky matt, and neil all have a shared exasperation for White People Food
  • neil and renee have been banned from nearly evershopping center within 50 miles of palmetto bc they wouldn’t stop throwing the knives to test how sharp they were
  • aaron and andrew play pokemon against each other(even tho andrew is more partial to acnl) and andrew manages to beat aaron’s entire team with just a jigglypuff and no one knows how he did it
  • once neil got really drunk and before he went to bed he kissed everyone’s foreheads(aaron left right after neil kissed renee’s) like his mom used to do to him before she went to sleep and it left everyone in shock
just your heart beating close to mine

for nurseydex week, day 2 - bed sharing

Nursey’s a clingy drunk.

Freshman year, Dex hated it. He and Nursey spend all their sober time bickering; fighting nonstop about everything from politics to slapshot form to whether ketchup belongs on scrambled eggs (Dex will never fucking admit it, but he’s actually started to find it delicious; Nursey can never know). But the second Nursey slips over the line from tipsy to drunk, he’s Dex’s best friend–hanging off Dex’s shoulders, draping his feet into Dex’s lap, hell, draping himself into Dex’s lap, two hundred pounds and then some of languid muscle. He’s sweet when he’s drunk, his chirps soft and fond instead of scathing, and his fingertips are gentle when they wander over Dex’s skin, dipping under the collar of his t-shirt, brushing against the short hair at the nape of his neck.

And Dex hated it, because morning would come, and hungover Nursey is clingy too but not in the same way, and they were always back to sharpness, and Dex would have to pretend he didn’t get home from those kegsters and throw himself into very, very cold showers.

Sophomore year, it’s a little better. They’re friends more often than they’re not, but on the flip side, that means the rest of the team actually trusts Dex to be on Nursey Patrol (“If you don’t want to kill him all the time, we can probably trust you to make sure he doesn’t drink himself into a coma,” Bitty said cheerfully the first time, shoved Nursey, already tipsy, towards him, and disappeared onto the dance floor with a solo cup in his hand).

Except Nursey Patrol, he learns, doesn’t end with the kegster. No, Nursey Patrol ends with Nursey safe in his bed, at least out of his shoes but ideally in something comfortable enough to sleep in, after a cup or two of water and two tabs of Aspirin, his phone plugged in and the door to his room locked.

(Dex does not want to know the series of events that led to this level of Patrol being in place. If he thinks about it too hard, his chest starts to hurt, and he doesn’t wanna deal with that.)

But–

“Dexy,” Nursey says, as Dex manhandles him down to his bed and then flops down next to him, hauling Nursey’s foot into his lap to start on his shoelaces, because Three Cups of Tub Juice Derek Nurse is not a Derek Nurse who has the coordination for tasks involving dexterity. Dex had said that, once, and Nursey had said “ha, Dexterity,” and giggled for ten minutes. “Dex, will you stay with me?”

(read the rest on AO3, or read more below)

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naive - peter parker x reader (part 2)

w/c: 1.1k

warnings: none really?

here is the highly requested second part!! i wrote this in a caffeinated daze at like 3am so i hope it isn’t too terrible hahaha. also it looks like this is definitely gonna be at least 3 parts (maybe more if you guys want that?) so yeah!

fyi some parts of this are slightly inspired by @parkersenses​‘s great fic which u can read here!

PART 1

Originally posted by parkery

An old 90’s rap song blasted over the speakers as Peter felt his stomach drop. His eye contact with you was fleeting, and suddenly you were gone, having disappeared with Flash and his entourage upstairs. The people around him were all dancing to the rhythm of the music, but the second Peter saw you, everything froze. He made jokes about you not being good enough for Flash all the time, but he never thought he would ever actually see the two of you together. It sparked a profound rush of adrenaline in him, and he took a big breath of air and pushed through the crowd to follow you.

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Champagne Mixed with a Bit of Adrenaline [h.s.]

A/N: this was a request from an anon and I finally got it done! It’s meant to go with this amazing piece of art. :-)  this piece is dedicated to the amazing @tiostyles because Brianne kept it from getting lost in the void LMAO. her support inspired me to finish it so thanks Brianne ilyvm :-) sorry for any mistakes or typos! Drop by my inbox with opinions bc I’m kinda?? Iffy on it?? Anywho, enjoy!

Harry likes to think he has stamina. He’s proven it countless of times before and he’s sure he will continue to prove it until the end of his days.

A great example would be that one time on the tour bus when he had popped a stiffy around 9 PM and couldn’t do anything about it, since no one was planning on going to bed yet, so he couldn’t sneak away to handle it. He’d had to wait until well after 1 AM, when the snoring elephants known as his band mates were conked out cold, to sneak into the bathroom with his Astroglide and rub out a quick one to a picture of Y/N wearing nothing but a pink, sheer silk button-up with the word “Styles” embroidered on the chest pocket.

Or the time when he and Y/N had attended a family get-together that his mother had thrown at his old house in the new pool she’d had built. Y/N had gotten the brilliant idea to grope him during a game of water volleyball and he’d had to play actively, all whilst doing his best to make sure no one saw the raging boner tenting his Gucci lion-printed swim trunks. After the underwater fun was over and the barbecue was done, his mom had condemned him to stay and help clean up. Washing dishes with his dick leaking wasn’t exactly his idea of a good time.

After that long night, Harry had given his mom a quick kiss goodbye and ignored her comments about how it was odd for his jacket to be tied backwards around his waist. He’d dragged a grinning Y/N to his car, setting route to their apartment but somehow ending up in an abandoned mall square, fucking in the backseat of his Rover.

And don’t even get him started on the time he lost three rounds of Go Fish to Y/N and, as retribution, had to wear a vibrating cock ring to Lux’s birthday party. Trying to explain to a four year old why his lap was vibrating, all while maintaining a cool composure, should’ve been made into an Olympic sport because the sheer amount of concentration and determination needed was truly out of this fucking world. Not only that, but fucking in a bathroom the size of a coat closet wasn’t necessarily prime, either. Lou had been having her upstairs bathroom remodeled and the one in the living room was too obvious, so they’d had to sneak down to the one in the basement. It was tiny, cramped, and smelled way too much like lemon-scented Lysol. His left leg had fallen asleep, but as if that wasn’t bad enough, Y/N had decided to up and leave halfway through and left him horribly blue-balled. Giving a toast to his goddaughter’s coming-of-age wasn’t really fluent when casually trying to cover up the bulge in his jeans with a Hello Kitty placemat.

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ilvermorny / remus lupin

Anonymous said: Can I have a one shot where you’re from Ilivermorny or whatever and you transfer to Hogwarts and James (or Remus) is asked to escort you to your classes and such until you get used to it oml Im in love with this idea😍😍😍   

the gif tho. fUCK

word count// 1,353


Originally posted by pleasingpics

Dumbledore’s office was quite intriguing. Tall shelves of books stretched to the ceiling and the quirky gadgets that scattered the room sparked your interest. Your fingers ran along the columns as you ascended the few stairs that led up to his desk, admiring and soaking in each detail. As you drew near the polished desk, your eyes met those behind a set of half-moon spectacles belonging to a long bearded man. His eyes were gentle and amused and you suddenly felt embarrassed for gawking at everything.

“Your office is sweet,” You exclaimed excitedly and your fingers itched to run along the spines of the hundreds of books.

The headmaster chortled gleefully and appeared puzzled. “I hadn’t a clue an office could be sweet, but I’m delighted you think so!”

You giggled and shook your head, forgetting you weren’t in America any longer. “No, sir. In America, people use the word sweet to describe something that’s cool or really nice.”

He ‘ah’ed’ and nodded in understanding, his eyes squinting as he smiled. “Y/F/N, the transfer student from Ilvermorny. We’ve been expecting you for awhile,” He informed and held a yellow candy out towards her. “Lemon drop?”

Brows furrowed, you accepted the candy and smiled at the peculiar man. You slid the lemon drop into your mouth and shifted awkwardly, waiting for him to continue and unsure of what to say. 

“Since you’ve no idea of your way around, I have spoken to a student whom is willing to escort you to your classes. He should be here any moment.”

“What’s this student’s name, Professor?”

Dumbledore carefully chose another lemon drop before replying. “His name is Remus Lupin. He’s in the Gryffindor house, as are you, and he’s a very bright wizard.”

Just as he finished and you had pursed your lips, mulling the newfound information in your mind, footsteps sounded from behind you and you spun around curiously. You had to refrain from giggling as the boy you assumed was Remus Lupin stumbled ungracefully up the few steps. When his eyes quickly flickered to you, his head ducked but you still caught sight of the pink tint to his cheeks. He tousled his messy hair further as his long, slender fingers raked through it and a giggle finally escaped when he kept beating his eyes toward you, but never for longer than a few seconds. 

“Ah, Remus!” Dumbledore exclaimed and rose from his seat. “You finally arrived.”

Remus rubbed the back of his neck and nodded sheepishly. “Sorry about that, Professor.” He smiled nervously.

“Not to worry, Mr. Lupin. This is Y/F/N, a transfer student from Ilvermorny.” He gestured to you and the attention in the room turned towards you.

You smiled politely at him. “Hi,” You blurted and sent a small wave his way.

He tried not to gape at your enthralling smile and after blinking a few times to make sure you weren’t a figment of his imagination, he smiled weakly. “Hi,” He replied, but it was less bubbly and sounded like he’d ran a marathon beforehand.

The headmaster clasped his hands together and a creamed colored piece of parchment glided from within his desk when he flicked his finger wordlessly. It flew into your grasp smoothly and your eyes scoured over the words while Dumbledore explained, “This is your schedule. I have put you in the same courses as Mr. Lupin to make him escorting you much easier on both of you. Seeing as how it’s Saturday, Remus, you may show her around the school today if you please. Now, you two can be off!”


After the meeting in Dumbledore’s office, your tour of the school commenced. Your mouth remained parted as you walked the corridors alongside Remus, your eyes taking in as much of the surroundings as possible. He had led you to the grand staircase and you heard him chuckling as your head tilted back to admire the portraits lining the walls. The marbling of the stairs as well as the architecture of the arched doorways was simply breathtaking and you found it hard to take in all of the subtle details. 

A palm landed on the small of your back, urging you toward the staircase. He couldn’t stop his eyes from training onto your awestruck face and smiling in amusement. You looked as if you’d never experienced magic in your life as you studied the moving portraits when you passed them on the ascend up the marble stairs. 

Deep within your own thoughts, an abrupt squeak elicited from you when the staircase began to move, gliding through the air to connect in a complete opposite direction. Your body swayed dangerously and Remus instinctively caught your waist to steady you from falling backwards. Your hands gripped onto his biceps and your stomach lurched when his muscles flexed underneath your palms.

“I think you failed to mention that the stairs move,” You joked breathlessly and you weren’t sure if the pounding of your heart was caused by the moving stairs or him touching you. 

Remus licked his bottom lip and bit it, his eyes darting from you for a split second before returning. He smiled sheepishly. “The stairs move.”

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t bite back a smile. “Thanks for the heads-up.” You laughed and dropped your hands from his arms, placing your firm grip upon the railing instead. “Anything else I should know before I go any further? You know, so I can avoid plummeting to my death.”

“Right. Some of the stairs disappear or will make you leg sink through,” He informed as he continued on guiding you upstairs before pointing at a particular step that you both were approaching. “Like that one, for example. You’ll learn which ones to jump. Eventually.”

“Eventually?” You cried and widened your y/e/c eyes. “Is this school trying to kill it’s students?”

He chortled and hopped over the step with ease. “Hogwarts is one of a kind, love.”

His hand extended for yours which you gratefully accepted. You stretched your leg over the pesky stair and hopped onto the same one Remus stood on. Your landing wasn’t as smooth as his and you stumbled into him a bit. His hand that wasn’t curled around yours went to your waist for the second time and you flushed pink, giggling off the clumsy act. He smiled down at you gently and you swallowed nervously, his close proximity heightening your nerves. 

“Erm, we should probably head to the common room,” He said lowly and your belly fluttered. “It’s getting late.”

Pulling away from him, you tucked a hair behind your ear and nodded. “Lead the way, Lupin.”


The Gryffindor common room didn’t disappoint. 

A fire burned brightly in the fireplace, crackling and popping soothingly. Red couches and armchairs scattered around the room, but the small window seat caught your utmost attention. It had it’s own little nook, little plush pillows perched on top of the seat with a throw blanket folded neatly along it. You could vividly picture yourself practically living there with a book or homework assignments or perhaps charcoal pencils to sketch the view. It was cozy and warm to welcome you as soon as you entered into it. 

“The girls dormitory is that way and the boys is over there.” Remus pointing in the correct direction of the dorms and you watched in amusement as his face flushed. “Not that you needed to know where the boy’s dormitory is unless–”

You nudged him and he closed his mouth immediately. “Maybe I’ll visit you in your dorm sometime,” You teased and winked suggestively, thoroughly enjoying him so flustered.

“R-Right! I-I mean-”

“I’m kidding, Remus.”

“I knew that.”

Smiling up at the messy haired and brown eyed boy, you pushed yourself onto your toes and pressed your lips to his reddened skin. “Goodnight, Remus,” You hummed and just as quickly as it had happened, you had slipped out of sight towards the girl’s dormitory. 

Remus grinned goofily in the direction you had left in. 

He could still feel your lips on his face even as he laid awake in bed that night. 

8

1/?: Sherlock/Poirot similarities & parallels

6

I friggen love this scene lakdshf.