She means nothing to him anymore
he swears,
and his words feel hot as they settle
in your hair -
“you aren’t her,”
he says
when the night settles around you
maybe you can taste her tears on his pillow, maybe
you can smell her shampoo or the sweet soap
she agonized over picking out just so he’d tell her she
reminded him
of lilacs
maybe at first you feel good, good, good,
you feel chosen, you feel
like you won
her ghost has become as familiar to you
as your shadow, you taste her toothpaste and
you hear her laughter,
he says “she used to paint her nails like you”
and you say
“yeah?” and
go home
and don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry
because you feel good, good, good
god did he just choose you because you wear her dresses and like the same things as she did except you’re more into his tv shows and less into weddings are you just a replacement are you just scar tissue to fill up the wounds she left are you just the girl between the girl he wanted to marry and the girl he actually will
and he says
“she means nothing to me anymore”
and you say
and some sad sick part of you
knows you should save yourself the trouble
of a heartbreak so loud your neighbors would call the cops, thinking they heard gunshots -
you’re smart and you’ve seen how these things go and
one day he’s going to say
“she meant nothing to me, anyway”
and he’ll be talking about
because you already mean less to him
than you really should
but god help you every time he kisses you
you feel
good, good, good.
—  “I love him but he still loves her.” /// r.i.d

“I just don’t know how to tell him Bitty… I don’t think I can,” Dex moped into a slice of cherry pie. The kitchen was empty but for the two of them, the radio music fading out only to be replaced by the booming voice of Kiss 93.5’s afternoon show host. Bitty’s apron was spotted with flour and cherry filling.

“I know what Nursey would do,” Bitty said. Dex gave him a suspicious look. “I mean, if he were in your situation.”

“I’m not writing a damn poem,” Dex said, “if that’s what you’re suggesting.”

“No need to get all hot and bothered about it,” Bitty chirped turned towards the oven. “Just might help to speak his language, is all.”

Dex groaned around another mouthful of pie. He was okay with hopelessly pining as long as it didn’t involve writing poetry about his fellow D-man. That was something, Dex thought, he’d never be desperate enough to do.

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Post catws, after failing to find Bucky for about 5 months, Steve comes home from the grocery store and checks his answer phone messages while he puts stuff away. The first one is Fury informing him of another mission the day after next, the second is drunk Tony demanding he comes to the party, and a few other random ones that Steve listens to, until the sixth message, which starts with a few seconds of silence, before rapid fire Russian, Steve knows its Bucky.

Ten minutes later, Steve is playing the message for Nat, who wears a serious expression at first before she starts laughing and looking up at Steve with an odd expression. Steve is getting increasingly frustrated and demands to hear it from the start, so he plays it again and listens to the angry Russian for a few seconds before Nat pauses it.

“Direct translation?” She asks and Steve nods. “‘You fucking meatball, what were you thinking covering a grenade with your body, like you are some unlimited resource, and can be spared. What the fuck were you thinking, I leave you alone for five minutes…’ do you want me to continue?”

Basically the two minute long message is Bucky angry ranting at Steve in Russian for all the dumb shit he remembers. “’I know you stole my shirt you asshole.’” Is the last thing Nat translates before the call abruptly ends. “What shirt?” Nat asks but Steve doesn’t say anything, instead he stands up to retrieve the aforementioned shirt to show Nat, Bucky’s shirt that he stole before Bucky went to war, since it smelt like him…. 

“That little shit stole it back! He fucking stole it!” Steve yells as he walks out of his room, and Nat doubles over laughing.

Say Goodbye

A Captain Cobra fic

Okay, so y’all can blame @gusenitsaa and @nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable for this one. I sent an ask in and their little back and forth turned it into a fic idea. Not gonna lie, this has what are possibly the seven most devastating words I’ve ever written (or at least Killian thinks so). As always, this can be found on ff.net (sorry, I haven’t gotten this drabble series on AO3 yet. It will happen eventually). Give the link a click if you want to boost my ego. And if you want to make my day, reviews there or in the tags are always appreciated.

The first week after he came back, Killian chocked it up to the general mess left by Hades and the lad’s New York City adventure.

Three weeks passed and Killian still hadn’t seen much of Henry, but then they had been busy. Homework piled up, even when you were in the Underworld and Killian had been rather…preoccupied with making the most of his second chance with Emma.

But by the fifth week, Killian was rather certain that Henry was avoiding him. No, not rather. Completely certain. Henry turning down sailing in favor of school work for the third weekend in a row fairly cinched the matter. Killian thought it might be jealousy. Things had shifted, his moving in with Emma changed things. Regina was still dealing with her grief. Henry was feeling neglected and getting angry at Killian was easier than getting angry at his mothers.

Though, insight didn’t help Killian solve the problem of the sullen teenager currently pouting on his deck. As it turned out, Emma didn’t cotton to teenagers sulking at the kitchen table all weekend long and had frog-marched the lad out the docks, telling Henry he could come back when Killian decided he’d gotten enough fresh air.

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Steven Universe Lion Theory

So, after reviewing the theories you all sent me, I’ve come up with my own.

I don’t really think Lion is the “other half” of Rose that didn’t go to Steven because Steven has a full gem. So though Lion might have his own gem hidden somewhere in his mane, it still wouldn’t explain Steven having Rose’s complete gem. 

I also don’t think that Lion is Rose’s reincarnation, or parts of her personality that didn’t go to Steven. I feel like this goes against the show’s entire premise that Rose could no longer exist for Steven to be born.

What I do think is that Lion could be a projection of Steven/Rose’s gem. 

We also know that projections from gems can exist separately from the gems that created them (like in Steven the Sword Fighter). Holo Pearl acted without Pearl, had abilities/skills belonging to Pearl, and did not even require Pearl to be at full health. Holo Pearl was given a command from Pearl that Holo Pearl followed, but Lion does not listen to Steven, so I think it’s unlikely that Lion is Steven’s projection. Instead, I believe Lion is a projection from Rose that was told to watch over Steven once she was gone. Which is why Pearl did not know of him, why he holds important items, why he knows things even Pearl doesn’t know, etc. 

Lion has also been shown with blank eyes, much like Holo Pearl, though Lion does have regular eyes as well. 

Gems project their physical forms from their gems, but Steven, being half human, does not need to project himself from his gem. This could explain why Lion is an unusually powerful projection, because Steven does not need to use that energy for his own body. 

Possessive Audrey Imagine

Bookstores were your favorite place in the world. It was the only quiet place you could get to sometimes, and knowing that every single book that surrounded you held stories of other worlds and different possibilities. No matter which one you picked up, you knew it would take you to some place completely separate from where you currently resided.

               The only time you didn’t feel like you needed to escape was when you were with Audrey. You two had been together for around a year and a half now, and while most people at that point felt their relationship start to die down and dwindle, that feeling of firsts and excitement never went away. You two always made time for each other and made sure you understood what was happening with the other. Both of you had been through a lot, so it was important that you had your own space but also communicated when you didn’t want to be alone. However, sometimes, you still just needed to get away.

               You texted her before you had left to the local bookstore to let her know where you’d be if she wanted to come by in a couple hours. You had your eye on a book for the last couple weeks and finally decided to buy it. They had a little corner next to the coffee shop that was made for reading, making it a perfect place for you to lose yourself and forget all the drama that seemed to take over your life. Once you had purchased your book and your favorite cup of coffee, you curled yourself into a chair and flipped to the first page. All the noise around you muted, all of your attention completely focused on this new story you had been dying to get into.

               The store was pretty calm for the most part, so that made it easy for you to go unnoticed and have minimal interruptions. When you checked the time you’d realized a couple hours had gone by and you were about 250 pages in. Audrey would be by soon, and just like always you started smiling with a rush of butterflies coming to your stomach at her pending arrival. You put the bookmark she had made you into your book and placed it on the table next to you. Stretching your arms above your head you began to stand up and gather your things.

               “That’s a great book.” A woman came and sat next to you before you had the chance to get up. She was about your height, had piercing green eyes and beautiful blonde hair. She smiled at you before she continued, “Have you read anything else by that author?”

               “Um, no, not yet. I just started reading this today so I haven’t had the chance to check the other stuff out yet.” You smiled back at her, trying to be polite.

               “You just started and you’re more than half way done? Impressive. I noticed you when I came in and you seemed completely engulfed in it, it was adorable. I’m not used to seeing gorgeous girls being so open about their love for reading.” She moved some of her hair behind her ears. “My name is Savannah, by the way.”

               “Y/N. Nice to meet you. I tend to get a little into whatever I’m reading. You know what, my-“

               “Let me show you the rest of what the author has written. I think you’ll enjoy it.” Savannah smiled as she stood up waiting to lead you to the other section of the store. You glanced over at the door to see if Audrey had shown up yet, but it was still empty and quiet where she would normally wait for you.

               “Um…yeah, alright. I can’t stay lo-“ She cut you off by spewing off some information about the author you had been reading. You walked over to the area where Savannah pointed you, checking the door once more before turning away.

               “He’s written a few books like the one you have. This one is my favorite.” She pointed to one that you had been interested in.

               “Oh yeah, I’ve been looking forward to reading that one. I think that one was recommended by a friend of mine after she told me to get this one.” You politely smiled at her and let her continue with her explanation.

               “Yeah, it’s the best one in my opinion. A few of the other ones, these ones right here, those are good but they’re completely different than anything else he’s written. It’s kind of like he wanted to see where he could go with his writing instead of sticking with the same types of stories repeatedly.” You nodded your head as she stepped closer to you, invading the bubble that you had subconsciously made.

               “That’s cool. I’ll have to check those out. I really do have to get going, though…” You tried stepping away but she put her hands on your triceps.

               “What’s the rush? You like this author right? There’s another one you might be interested in just a few shelves down.” She removed her hands and stepped back again, making you feel slightly more comfortable than you had been before.

               “I really do appreciate you showing me these things, but-“ You started to back away pointing at the door behind you.

               “Hey, babe. How’s it going over here?” Audrey showed up behind you, snaking her arm around your waist and pulling you close. She kept her eyes on Savannah as she kissed your cheek.

               “I was just showing her some of the other stuff this author has written. I noticed her reading when I came in and thought she’d be interested.” Savannah smiled but kept her eyes on you.

               “I got that book I’ve been telling you about for the past couple weeks. Apparently the guy has written some more so it looks like I’m going to have to spend more money next month.” You smiled at your girlfriend, aware that she was trying to get Savannah away from you. It wasn’t like her to be so affectionate in public. A hug or a quick kiss, sure. Keeping her arm around your waist and kissing your cheek, not so much.

               “She looked so cute when she was reading I thought she’d love to see the other books-“ Savannah started and you felt Audrey’s arm stiffen around you as she moved some of her hair away from her eyes.

               “That’s great, babe. I’m glad you found more books. Now, if you’d excuse us, we’re going to head out now.” Audrey started leading you away from Savannah.

               “She was the one that came back here with me, you know.” Savannah had a smug look on her face. As soon as you opened your mouth to respond, Audrey grabbed your face and kissed you like she had been starving for air. Your knees went weak and you grabbed her hips and dug your fingers in. When she broke away from you, she laced her fingers between yours and started to walk to the other side of Savannah.

               “And I’m going to the be the one that takes her home.” Audrey whispered in Savannah’s ear as you both continued to walk past her. You suppressed a laugh and squeezed her hand.

               “Nice to see you, too.” You smiled at her as you made your way outside.

               “Sorry, I saw her grab your arms and kind of lost it for a bit.” She sounded slightly embarrassed when she held the door open for you.

               “I didn’t say I was upset. It was hot.” Her face started turning red even with the cold air outside. You both walked across the parking lot to her car when you had an idea. You blocked her from getting into the driver’s seat, smirking as she looked at you with confusion etched on her face. “Take me home and I’ll show you that I’m yours and only yours.” You whispered in her ear and heard her breath catch. When you looked back at her, her eyes had grown dark and almost primal.

               “We better get going then.” She had a coy smile on her face as you made your way to the other side of the car.

unheard and sweeter

Immediately after his brother’s death, Lieutenant Killian is betrayed by his naval captain and sold to the dreaded Dark One, Rumpelstiltskin. Two years later, Rumple kidnaps the Princess of Misthaven and assigns Killian into watching her. Rumple may want the princess happy so he can use her heart for a dark spell, but Killian finds he wants her happy for entirely different reasons.

Lieutenant Duckling/Slave and Prisoner AU

Words ~7k   ❃  Rated T+ (For almost smut)  ❃   AO3 FF

It’s times like these that Killian is almost glad that he’s alone. This way, it’s easier. This way, his mother and his brother won’t be here to witness him locking the Princess of Misthaven in the loneliest, dirtiest bastille in the entire realm, damning her to a life of misery.

He knows it’s not entirely his fault, but it might as well be. After all, they are his fingers preparing to seal the lock. They are his hands that dragged her kicking and screaming from her castle.

Killian doesn’t meet the princess’ eye as he inserts the skeleton key into the cage’s bolt, officially trapping her behind steel bars and ending her life as royalty. But even as he avoids her gaze, he can still see her hands gripping around the prison’s bars. Her knuckles turn white from her tight grasp, her nails dig into her skin, nearly drawing blood.

“I hate you,” she spits out. The words come out small, barely audible and coherent through her murmur. He is still able to make out the words even though they’re laced heavy with rancor and loathing. He wishes he were deaf. “I hate you!” She’s screaming now.

Killian turns away, unable to stand near her when the abhorrence is radiating off of her like rays of sun. Too bright to avoid, too easy to get burned by.

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Home To Me
  • Home To Me
  • Jamie Brown

A song from Clarke to Lexa after leaving Camp Jaha!

Love comes at a cost,
We used to drink to those
We’d find, and those we’d lost.
And I’ve being wandering these lands
With bloodshed on my hands.
I’m searching for you,
Cause only you, will understand.
So will you help me carry my heavy heart.
And I will hold yours close and try to take apart,
The pieces that haunt your days,
You’re like home to me, so please say I can stay.
Cause you asked me what I would do after,
I never thought that I’d be here looking for shelter.
But maybe it’s meant to be.
With here with someone who bares the cross
Of lives lost,    
To set their people free.
You don’t have to apologise,
I know the weight of the crown
And how hard it lies.
You said I was brave and not,
To let my emotions show.
But now children are being buried,
And it’s all ‘cause I let myself go.
So will you help me carry my heavy heart,
And I will hold yours close and try to take apart.
The pieces inside that haunt your days,
You’re home to me, can I stay?
You asked me what I would do after,
I never thought I would be looking for shelter.
But maybe this is where I’m meant to be.
With someone who bares the cross of lives lost,
To set their people free.
You hoped that Polis would make me change my views,
But what if I’m the monster, it’s me and not you.
We’ll never be the good guys,      
But we’re bad guys after all,
Cause surviving tough,
And some live will some fall.
So will you help me carry my heavy heart.
And I will hold yours close and try to take apart,
The pieces inside that haunt your days,
You’re like home to me, so please say I can stay.


Sick Healer AU!

they are mine

@kayla-ships-klaine-and-destiel requested Snowing taking care of Killian! Takes place after 5B season finale. Enjoy! Killian is still trying to deal with his emotional pain after returning from the underworld and all he needs is a motherly touch. Angst and Comfort.  ~AO3~

If you need something like this or some fluff afterwards, you’ll definitely like:
Love is… surprising each other by @swanandapirate
Kiss me on the sidewalk by @mermaidswans
she lingers with me by @the-reason-to-sail-home


Killian Jones could not remember what a motherly touch felt like.

For hundreds of years, it really hadn’t mattered. What he thought had been acceptance of his lack of family was really just a mask of thievery and pillagery. As soon as he deposited that lifestyle in the waste bin in exchange for the hero’s life, Killian felt himself with a subconscious desire to be held by his mother.

Most days, being held by his true love was enough. There was just something about her touch that managed to reach into the depths of his soul and ease every single one of the aches and pains lying inside his heart. Her love was capable of numbing the darkest of his sufferings and strong enough to pull him back home to her.

He was even starting to think that he was okay again. He was wrong.

Because Emma’s love numbed the throbbing in his heart, but the moment she left his side, he was left to flounder in his own thoughts.

So naturally, when Emma took a trip to be a witness in court for a crime that happened before she moved to Storybrooke, Killian felt a little disoriented.

“Listen, I’ll only be gone for a day or two. As much as I want to take you with me, I really need you to stick around here and help David look for Hyde,” she told him before she left.

Killian wanted to ask what happened to not being separated ever again? But he was just starting to do better. Asking that would be like holding up a sign that said “Please don’t leave me, I’m suffocating in my own fears.” He’d die before making her worry more.

In retrospect, he could’ve just talked to her about it - the pain of his guilt, his torture, his past - instead of simply letting it fester. But Emma was just starting to see Dr. Hopper and the last thing she needed was to add Killian’s (almost too heavy) emotional baggage on top of her own.

So she left in her yellow bug after a warm parting kiss, leaving Killian leaning against the victorian styled column of their porch. When she was out of sight, he ran a hand over his scruff and took a deep breath.

What was he going to do?

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winter sound: prologue

banner by @aceofstyles

backyard//story page//1dff

prologue: october 2026


The London skies were crying fat, heavy teardrops that made me want to join in with it. I loved the rain and dark skies that accompanied it, but some days you needed a bit of sun in life. Today was one of those days. I had a lot of those days in the past ten months.

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eto and half ghoul biology

In chapter 43, we found out another way Eto is unique in the ghoul world, and confirmed a theory that’s been floating around among Eto fans for months: she can eat human food.

She’s been pictured eating (or apparently having eaten) human food multiple times before, and in chapter 43, she eats an apple in front of Kanae specifically to show him that she can.

So what is different about Eto that enables her to eat human food while other ghouls cannot? I have a few ideas:

1. The Ghoul Tongue

Ghouls are said to have a different tongue from humans, which makes human food taste disgusting to them.

However, Eto doesn’t seem phased at all by eating the apple. Nor does she seem upset by eating a daifuku in front of Hinami, and even holds it in her mouth:

It could be that she’s merely pretending that she isn’t disgusted by the food. After all, we’ve seen other ghouls eat human food seemingly without a problem, and Yoshimura even tried to teach Kaneki to do it.

But, if that’s the case with Eto, then why is she surrounded by opened packages of human food while alone, in her apartment?

She has no one to put on an act for here. Why would she willingly eat human food while alone, unless she liked the taste? Additionally, if human food disgusted her, why would she ever try to eat it and discover that she could?

I think that Eto has a human tongue, and she isn’t disgusted by human food.

2. The Ghoul Enzyme

In addition to the structure of their tongues, which causes ghouls to be disgusted by the taste of human food, ghouls also have a specific enzyme which prevents them from digesting anything that isn’t human.

Presumably, this is what causes ghouls to feel sick and causes their strength to suffer after eating human food. (For example, we see that after Touka forces herself to eat food that Yoriko made, she is weaker than before and takes time to recover.)

Eto does not have this enzyme, which is what allows her to eat human food with no ill effects.

So why are artificial half ghouls unable to eat human food?

Kaneki, an artificial half ghoul, does not have the same abilities as Eto.

Food tastes awful to him, and after forcing himself to eat only two bites of a burger from Big Girl, he vomits.

Kaneki is definitely unable to eat human food.

I think it’s because, while Kaneki is technically a half ghoul, he still has a kakuhou from a full ghoul. If the kakuhou secretes the enzyme that prevents ghouls from eating human food, then humans that have a kakuhou implanted will also have that enzyme. So Kaneki, who received his kakuhou from a full ghoul, ended up with the ghoul tongue and his disgust for human food.

This also explains why the Quinx can still eat human food. Their kakuhou is also contained within a quinque steel frame. If their kakuhou releases the same enzyme, it may not be able to enter their body and change their physiology to the extent that Kaneki’s has changed. This would also be why their RC counts are so low compared to Sasaki, because the influences of the kakuhou are minimized.

Speaking of RC counts…

The source of Sasaki’s food hasn’t been revealed, although he can’t eat human food and it’s likely the CCG is feeding him whatever they feed to ghouls in Cochlea.

But, the Quinx can eat human food, are shown eating regularly, and there’s been no indication that they are receiving any other nutrients. So why are their RC counts higher than a normal human’s?

I think it’s possible that, like humans and unlike ghouls, half ghouls can produce RC cells.

If the Quinx produce their own RC cells the way the average human does, that could be how their RC count is rising despite not eating human or ghoul meat. The RC cells get stored in their kakuhou, and their bodies just create more.

This could also explain how Eto became such a powerful kakuja, and how Kaneki became a half kakuja in only 6 months. They already have the ability to create and store more RC cells than normal ghouls, so couple that with cannibalism, and their RC count could skyrocket.

So, does Eto need to eat humans or ghouls to survive?

Maybe not. But when the result of cannibalizing is her incredible strength, why wouldn’t she continue?