legs malone

I like to think that the concept of Matches Malone got so out of control in the Batcave that the Malones become a historical mob family name in Gotham. The habit Bruce has of using Matches Malone as a shield for him to do emotional things spreads like wildfire and suddenly the Malone family is huge and pops up around most major holidays and birthdays, destroys other crime families, and disappears. Repeat every year. They are the worst and longest living crime family in Gotham.

Here’s the cast so far:

Matches “Legs”* Malone-Bruce Wayne

Patches “Legs”* Malone-Dick Grayson
Eldest son of the Malone family. Patches takes his day job as a circus clown very seriously, to Matches’ great disappointment. Matches can be frequently seen telling Patches to stop “clowning around (pointed look to the non-audience) and take the family business seriously”. Their relationship is bittersweet, as Patches only became a circus clown because he thought it was what his father wanted. Having given him Patches as a real legal name that shows up on all of his State I.D.s. Rumored to be Swifty’s (ex)husband.

“Sonny” “The Chef” “Legs”* Malone-Jason Todd
Second eldest son of the Malone family. Exists to bring food in to the team. Became feared by many in Gotham when it was rumored that he sometimes hid guns and ammunition in the food he served. This Malone originally didn’t have a first name, but was always introduced by Matches with the line “ah, my son, The Chef, is here”. This was poor scripting and became awkward when other Malone sons were in the room, so it was gradually changed to “Ah, it’s…Sonny.” Sonny is feared and loved by all mob families in Gotham because he serves up “the best of the best” in Gotham cuisine and “you can’t prove he poisons anything”. While his restaurant does not exist, it’s earned 5 stars on every Yelp! review.

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I did a cute little bats and pumpkins pattern since Halloween coming up.
Don’t you dare tell me it’s too early. :>

Get these adorable little creatures on scarves, leggings, pencil skirts, throw pillows, tote bags, or hardcover journals right here on my RedBubble:


Legs malone is “nice legs,shame about her face!”

Clearing Blocks to Abundance and Recognizing the Wealth that Surrounds Us

By Legs Malone

“There is no better way to earn money than to do the things that you love to do. 

Money can flow into your experience through endless avenues. 

It is not the choice of the craft that limits the money that flows—

but only your attitude toward money.” Abraham Hicks

Burlesque, for me, is love. When I stumbled into the burlesque scene in 2006, I was blown away by the wealth of creativity, celebration and love in everyone I met both onstage and off. The richness of spirit was palpable and absolutely gorgeous to me. Several years later in 2009, I attended BurlyCon for the first time and I was so struck by the truth and beauty that all of the instructors wielded in their classes that I immediately started devising how to join their ranks. I returned the following year with a brand new class called Healing Your Relationship With Your Body. I was so jazzed and enlivened by my experience teaching that class that I started thinking about ways to increase my participation in the wonder and gift that is BurlyCon. My first thought was, “what would I like to take as a class here?” quickly followed by “what do I feel needs addressing?” The answer came quickly - MONEY! and how to make it.

As a full-time freelancer and performer, money is often on my mind and it is a very popular topic of conversation amongst my burlesque friends. Like many of my fellow performers, I was under the thumb of a very real-feeling poverty mentality. After losing my day job, I took a huge chance in becoming a “full-time” burlesque dancer (read: burlesque career was #1 priority) and soon felt the financial squeeze. How could I rhinestone a costume like one of the reigning stars of burlesque or even have a custom costume made if I only had $100 in the bank? Why did I have to choose between buying trim for a new go-go outfit and buying groceries? And I wasn’t alone in this.

How could I prioritize my desires and goals with such limited income? And how could my community, made up of people so rich in spirit, love and celebration be so broke?

Thoughts like this became regular visitors in my head and I felt like I was staring into a black hole with no end in sight. All I wanted to do was dance and be on stage, but how could I do that without covering my basic, human needs? 

I once heard that if you needed to learn something, it was good to teach about it so as to regularly engage with the material. I needed to learn how to switch up my relationship to money because I was tired of being broke and feeling helpless. What better way to do so than teaching a class about it? Thus, Clearing Blocks to Abundance was born.

Before I dive into the how and the what of this class, you should know that I am what people in Seattle would call “woo woo”. If that means nothing to you, it can be described as being spiritual, new age, a “hippie” or someone who walks around with crystals and pendulums in their pockets, swimming in esotericism. I won’t confirm or deny any of these assertions but I do love connecting with the Universe at large. I say this because it informs the basis of this class, and if there are any blocks within you that are judging or pushing against these words, I invite you to take a breath and read on. You’re reading this for a reason and I dare you to step outside of your comfort zone and consider potentially foreign thoughts that threaten your poverty mentality.

I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have attracted in many teachers who both acknowledge and teach that the source of money is spiritual, not material, and that money is the effect of our efforts, not the cause. People have been writing about this for centuries - apparently, it’s even in the Bible. 

My class is based on two primary principles: 

1 - God is the source of everything. (If “God” is too challenging of a term, please replace it with Goddess, Universe, Creator, All That Is, or whatever is a comfortable term for you. As long as it is regarding the energy that creates all life, you’re good to go.)

People who want money are so often focused on the money itself they are wanting to make but not on the source from whence that money comes. If you are feeling especially blocked, consider the last time you sat quietly with your thoughts and accepted that you have legions of helpers waiting to aid you? If you have the thought that you are unworthy or undeserving of help, I want to invite you to let that go now. You are worthy and you do deserve to prosper and richly so! If you hate God or were subject to bad teachings in the name of “God” or organized religion, I want to invite you to cultivate a willingness to soften your hatred and/or resistance to the thought that a higher power is out to get you or punish you. Those thoughts were and are created by people who are ruled by their egos and those fear-based thoughts have no place in the mind of the Divine. You are now safe to let all of those thoughts go. 

2 - Thought is creative. Whatever you think, you create. 

All that is in your life right now has been invited in, either consciously or unconsciously and it’s time to take responsibility for everything that is currently in your life, from conditions to relationships. When we can step into empowerment around everything that we have called into our lives, we are able to more clearly see our lives and the lessons and opportunities that lie in front of us. 

It is essential to understand, in describing this point, the power of words. Have you heard the old saying that your word is your bond? What you speak and which words you choose all have an impact on what you are wanting and the outcome of that desire. They create a resonance that in turn becomes magnetised to draw toward you what you are putting out there. 

“Anything you are giving your attention to is an invitation to the essence of it. 

Saying, I want money, but it will not come, is the same as saying, 

“Come to me, absence of money, which I do not want.” (Abraham Hicks)

Become aware of your thoughts and the words you are saying both to yourself and to others! I cannot underscore this point enough. Your words affect everything, so if you are used to saying “Of course I’m broke - I’m a burlesque dancer!”, it’s time to switch that up. There are plenty of burlesque dancers who are not broke so stop putting that energy out there! Try instead, “I love dancing and I am constantly creating new and satisfying avenues of income for myself” or “I am an unlimited being and now choose to pursue my dream job/work and be rewarded handsomely.” Whatever you choose to say instead of any limiting thoughts will have an instant effect on how you perceive the money you have and the income you want to make.

Teaching the class at BurlyCon gave me a lot of insight, not just into the burlesque poverty mindset but also into how vulnerable everyone is to negative thoughts and self-belief, no matter how beautiful and worthy their souls are. In a way, it’s oddly comforting, knowing how many of us are in the same boat and that we can remind each other of our innate gifts and the love that surrounds us at every moment. 

It is a gift to be able to teach this class and to be an agent of change for so many lives through the lens of this class. If it could boil down to a single affirmation, it would be this:

In every moment, I have everything I need. 

I now relax into this awareness with trust and love for myself.

It is time for us to affirm the wealth that we have in our hearts and spirits and begin to reflect it outwards, not allowing our light to be diminished for a second. As burlesque performers, we are great agents of change in the greater community of our cities, states and countries and I want to encourage each and every one of you to constantly remind you that prosperity is your birthright and that you are worthy of everything you deserve. You are an unlimited being living in an unlimited universe. Try tapping into the richness that surrounds you and watch it begin to reflect back to you in money, love and support. You are so worthy, sweet dancer. Now claim it.


Legs Malone