lego mini fig

So I went over the update panel by panel with @my-random-fandoms. These are my Many Feelings.

1. I have that same cookbook. And “honey”. And how easy the conversation is, and how he is reminding himself he signed up for professional level chirping. And his calendar, which is totally blatant and he is a Horrible Secret Boyfriend because Chowder or Lardo will take one look at that and know exactly what’s goin on, what with the hearts and prov-bos-sam. And his Jack Lego mini-fig.

2. Jack’s flannel is on the back of his door! Did he take it all “I’m keeping this”? Did Jack give it to him? His Beyonce poster is the one for Crazy In Love.

3. KISSING THE MINI-FIG. AND “SWEETHEART”

4. nothing

5. Empty field truck bed shenanigans SWEET JESUS. Also, again with the Bad Secret Boyfriend. “Oh, Jack visited, and I started dating someone, WHAT A COINCIDENCE.”

6. Aaaaaand my heart starts to hurt. Because his family didn’t know they met his boyfriend. So either he is still closeted to his family, or Jack wants to stay closeted about his sexuality/their relationship, or BOTH. And that’s really sad. Coach seems okay. Sweet ‘stache, Shitty would approve. And Jack looks so HAPPY.

7. nothing

8. Casually answering “hi honey”. Just the casual affection. My heart is dead.

9. HE WAS GOING TO SAY “LOVE YOU”. THEY ARE AT THE LEVEL WHERE JACK ROBOT ZIMMERMANN ENDS PHONE CALLS WITH “LOVE YOU” LIKE EXPRESSING HIS FEELINGS IS NO BIG DEAL ANYMORE. And then the heartbreak is SO REAL because his face when his teammate interrupts him. So closed off. Wincing. ANXIOUS.

10. His eyes are sad again and NOTHING IS OKAY. He’s so completely not out that he doesn’t even try to pass it off as someone else he could be happy to be on the phone with. And this is called WAGS because Wives and Girlfriends. And he is so completely Not Out and like, nervous about being caught from that look on his face.

What will this do to his anxiety? Like, he’s in the NHL! Hockey pressure! Legacy and proving himself pressure! Secretly in a same-sex relationship because he’s so far in the closet he’s in fucking NARNIA. I worry about what the stress will do to him and to him and Bitty who is a Bad Secret Boyfriend and I am so nervous. I just want them to be Out And Happy.