legit b l u s h e d

you know what I love about jupiter ascending [jamie you love everything about it look at your fucking blog–]anyway you know what I love about jupiter ascending that it is absolutely 100% totally okay to enjoy the space in it just because space is pretty like, there’s no bullshit gatekeeping about the “science” part of the science fiction because it’s not even really pretending to be science fiction but you know what doesn’t have a monopoly on space?? science fuckin fiction, that’s what doesn’t have a monopoly on space, and you know who knows it?

JUPITER. ASCENDING.  

like people (fanboys) will bend the fuck over backwards to insist star wars is ~real science fiction~ ~I promise~  

which is the ri-fucking-diculous b/c the amount of (lack of) fucking science in those films you guys. they travel all across the whole galaxy in literal seconds at S U B - L I G H T  S P E E D they have never-explained ridiculous laser swords they fucking a b s o r b e d  a  S U N  in episode VII

  • absorbed it
  • ABSORBED

i’m off track but listen; star wars doesn’t need to be sci-fi to be legit. it doesn’t need to pretend to make any lick of cosmic sense but we as a fandom (*cough*i-mean-assholes*cough*) have decided for some fucking reason that in order to be good it needs to be ~real bona fide Sci-Fi~ in order to exist in space when nah

now listen I loveeeeee star wars. I love that shit. I love it. but I don’t go to star wars for its scientific accuracy, ya feel?  

and you know who gets that? 

  1. jupiter fucking ascending.  

god this fucking movie. not only does it spend like, its entire runtime just being like look a vista! in ~space~!!!!!  it barely explains jack. shit.  how does the flying motorcycle work? what keeps the floaty-parts of the spaceships on? how do those emergency space-suit pods store enough oxygen for sixty minutes? WHO CARES!

the only things [the only things] we even get a half-assed explanation for are the things that Jupiter specifically asks about or things that directly affect her to know [see: royal bowels]. like jupe cares how the space gun works? this is how one operates the space gun. jupe asks how gravity boots? caine spews some pseudo-science bullshit but nevermind I don’ t actually care all she needs to know is “down is easy, up is hard.” and that is all we need. it’s fucking jumpin out of skyscrapers time

meanwhile have some red space trees! enjoy this planet with rings made out of floating trash! fuck it, here’s the whole damn side of jupiter just because!

space is pretty. it’s okay for space to be pretty. enjoy the pretty space. we will tell what you need to know, and throw in established sci-fi lingo so if you know that FTL stands for faster-than-light good or you can google it but if you didn’t know it doesn’t matter because look! floating space orgy

like actual goddamn a s t r o l o g y is a plot point in this film if that doesn’t say “fuck you gatekeepers no need for science-space knowledge to enjoy this film!” I don’t fucking know what does

it is o.k. for space to be pretty and to enjoy space because it is pretty.  

jupiter ascending you guys. christ.