legally-blonde

  • What she says: I'm fine
  • What she means: In Legally Blonde, Elle only gets accepted because she's hot and sent a video, but she had a 4.0 and got a 179 (out of 180) on her LSATS. Sure, her major was in Fashion Merchandising but that's a business major, and the fake school she was at was supposed to be UCLA so she had a business degree from a major college, probably went to a great high school, had a 4.0, and a 179 on the LSATS and at that point she would have been automatically accepted so why did they make it sound like she was such a bad risk? She even had leadership experience as president of a major chapter of what is apparently a huge sorority, since Delta Nus are shown as everything from cheerleaders to senators. Harvard should have been desperate to take her. She should have been able to get in if she turned in a cocktail napkin with her name written on it. So why make up the bullshit excuse of "multiculturalism" to justify letting in an extremely qualified and highly driven candidate just for laughs? Elle Woods deserved to go to Harvard and she earned that place with academic excellence and not by being hot.

Listen, just because I can’t hit that note doesn’t mean I won’t try

elle woods is autistic
  • singleminded and incredibly dedicated to whatever it is she’s focused on at the time (gets into and then goes to law school to get back warner, even though it breaks with everything she’s done in her life up until that point)
  • incredibly knowledgeable about her chosen point of interest (”it’s impossible to use half-loop top stitching on low-viscosity rayon”)
  • has a dog who’s permitted to live with her on campus and go to court with her, and who completes daily-living tasks like fetching mail (i’m calling it: bruiser’s a service dog)
  • relies on routine and an established set of coping mechanisms (manicures; tries to schedule social events to maintain some sort of consistency) 
  • struggles with social cues (for instance, the way she delivers her introduction when she first arrives at school, the way she interacts with warner)
  • is incredibly smart (got a 179 on the LSATs) but struggles in school — has difficulty keeping track of her assignments (first day in stromwell’s class), has difficulty answering questions on the spot in class (”do they always do that? put you on the spot like that?”)
  • struggles with codeswitching in different environments (with her friends in LA, in the classroom, with the other harvard students, in court, etc)
    • when she does try to institute a change like this, she does it overly dramatically; she over-plays it — see: the outfit she wears for her first day of classes 
    • that line also — ”i totally look the part!” — that idea that what she wears, says, and does are largely performative (maybe also she’s trying to pass?)
    • uses overly formal or informal language; language inappropriate to the context (”and i am fully amenable to that discussion” when warner is breaking up with her; the ‘valley girl’ language she uses at harvard)
  • has difficulty identifying sarcasm and mocking (the costume party)
  • is set up in the narrative as out of place in her social environment 
  • the narrative about elle ultimately winning the case because she uses her existing skills, knowledge base, and passion rather than What She Learned In Law School ™ is also, like, a really strong neurodiversity narrative   
  • i love her and i only care about autistic characters, so she must be autistic
okay but elle woods though
  • had a 4.0 as an undergrad
  • got a 179 on her LSATs when a 180 is a perfect score
  • got into HARVARD LAW SCHOOL which is one of the most prestigious law schools in the country
  • after she’s humiliated by several professors and peers alike instead of quitting elle makes up her mind that she is going to kick law school’s ass
  • refused to reveal a secret told to her in confidence even though it would have advanced her career 
  • is an amazing friend who not only helps her friend get her dog back from her deadbeat ex, but she also helps her friend meet a new man 
  • instead of competing with her ex’s new girl friend the two of them eventually become best friends and ditch the jerk together
  • even after following her ex to harvard in an attempt to win him back, elle realizes that he’s a jerk and she’s so much better than him
  • turns down said jerk when he comes crawling back
  • wins her first trial using not only ingenious deductive reasoning and her knowledge of fashion and proves that she is not a helpless “dumb blonde”
  • elle woods though
musical theatre songs that i will literally stop my entire life to sing along to
  • ring of keys (fun home)
  • waving through a window (dear evan hansen)
  • non-stop (hamilton) 
  • la vie boheme (rent) 
  • spooky mormon hell dream (book of mormon)
  • come to the fun home (fun home) 
  • yorktown (hamilton) 
  • defying gravity (wicked)
  • 96,000 (in the heights)
  • satisfied (hamilton) 
  • take me or leave me (rent) 
  • dancing through life (wicked) 
  • king of new york (newsies)
  • revolting children (matilda) 
  • letters (natasha, pierre, and the great comet of 1812)
  • hasa diga eebowai (book of mormon) 
  • blackout (in the heights)
  • i’m alive (next to normal)
  • the schuyler sisters (hamilton)
  • carnaval del barrio (in the heights)
  • man up (book of mormon)
  • what is this feeling? (wicked) 
  • sincerely, me (dear evan hansen)
  • your fault (into the woods) 
  • we both reached for the gun (chicago)
  • one day more (les miserables) 
  • bad idea (waitress)
  • so much better (legally blonde)