Musicals As Theatre Kids
Wicked: the one who can sing but can’t act for the life of them. they’re obsessed with classic musicals like The King and I and The Sound of Music and would sell their soul to play Maria. gets those small parts with scattered solos and is the light of everyone’s life.
Hamilton: the one who’s really eccentric, always yelling and singing at the top of their lungs, and is brave enough to argue with the director. everyone hates them and loves them 50/50 and they somehow get a big part in every show.
Heathers: the one who acts like an emo/alternative kid outside of rehearsal but inside becomes a dedicated broadway-worthy star, and is really, really good. perfect voice, perfect acting. listens to p!atd on iTunes and cast recordings on Spotify. gets all the leads.
Dear Evan Hansen: the one who is the most amazing actor and will probably win a tony someday, but is just a meh singer. never talks to anyone but their best friend, who is definitely Heathers. gets a supporting role usually.
Falsettos: gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. whether a girl or a boy, really gay and really dedicated. overdoes it sometimes but is a sweet little marshmallow backstage. best friends with Wicked. always gets the villain, somehow.
Legally Blonde: never listens to the director and acts out all the time, doesn’t really take shows seriously but loves them all the same. the director hates them even though they can kind of act. they can’t sing, though. seriously can’t sing. they have a huge ego and know it. get small parts that they make the best of.
In The Heights: lives far away and never really talks to anyone. very smol. super quiet and is always being yelled at by the director for it, poor thing. always works on homework at break and lip–synchs to everybody else singing showtunes. Wicked and Falsettos take pity on them and take them in. no one really knows how they act but they can sing really well and get smallish parts.
Be More Chill: very laid–back and friendly once you get to know them, though they appear pretty brooding. tells everyone they’re straight whilst being a questioning bisexual crushing on Falsettos. same level of acting and singing, which is basically getting there but needs some work. gets supporting roles and occasionally leads.
The Book of Mormon: has no chill at all. famously yelled “FUCK YOU YOU PIECE OF SHIT” at the director once. can sort of act but can’t connect with other actors to create realistic scenes. they’re belting is some good shit. surprisingly nice to the few friends they have. the director hates them and admires them at the same time and they usually get a lead or supporting role.
Waitress: so nice. so. nice. kind of hates themself though, which is depressing because they’re perfect in every single way and deserve the world honestly. Falsettos and Dear Evan Hansen both have a crush on them. really talented and outgoing and a great dancer. honestly their only flaw is their self–doubt, and they would probably perform even better with more confidence. usually gets a lead.
EDIT: for those of you wondering I’m definitely Dear Evan Hansen. aside from the “winning a tony” part. I wish.