legalize sleep

Criminals of the FAHC’s caliber hardly need tangible christmas presents - when you spend all year taking whatever you want whenever you want it the idea of requesting something then patiently waiting around to see if someone else steals it for you seems utterly laughable. That said, the Fake’s have their own take on Kris Kringle; they all draw a name out of a box, and on Christmas they deliver that person a head.

Not always a literal head mind, they aren’t actually all bloodthirsty enough to want to deal with decapitated parts, and Geoff swears he’s going to kill the next person who leaves corpses around the penthouse, but vengeance on a platter is the name of the game.

It might come in the form of the bank details of a sworn enemy, or the keys to their shiny prize car. It might be the disappearance of a problem or the unwilling reapperace of someone who owed a debt, might be the news that that one annoying gang has been run out of the city or a video presentation of CCTV footage displaying the moment a particularly aggravating detective got his comeuppance. It all depends on who is doing the giving; the more technically inclined go for digital displays, the smooth-talkers cheat and swindle, the bruisers break, maim and murder and Geoff overcompensates.

There are many strengths in the greater FAHC but they are all, to a fault, showboaters of the highest order and the Christmas bonanza is their biggest chance to show off. The Kris Kringle was born as a way to give gifts their crewmates would actually enjoy but over the years it has devolved, like most anything the Fake’s are involved with, into a glorified pissing contest. A talent show as much as an exchange of gifts, everyone competing to come up with the best present of the year, the most impressive undertaking, the most appreciative recipient.

For citizens of Los Santos the period running up to Christmas is basically a hellscape, members of the FAHC running around on a a dozen different completely bizarre missions, serious and driven in a way that comes only with fierce competition. For any enemies of the crew the period running up to Christmas is more or less open season, the possibility of attack as high as it is unpredictable, standard revenge tactics abandoned in favour of elaborate plans and ingenious traps. For the FAHC the period running up to Christmas is the most high stress, hectic, entertaining internal arms race of the year, rife with secrets, subterfuge, red herrings and, invariably, at least one headless corpse.

Merlin is Done and I’m tired!

Hello everyone! After a very scary election, I channeled my motivation into the Merlin script, and it is now done and it is 15 pages long! That’s about the size of the Scorbus script, but it’ll probably be longer since with a TV show, you have to play clips and stuff. I’m aiming to keep it around half an hour…and I think it’s pretty good. I’ll try to narrate this weekend but I also have a project to work on, so we’ll see. Thanks for being patient guys, and I hope you’re all doing okay, and if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always send me a message. Thanks!!

Me: Hey, Ducky. There’s a lot of fuzzy stuffing all over the living room.

Ducky: Shhhh…sleeping.

Me: No, you aren’t. Your eyes are open.

Ducky: No they aren’t. You’re dreaming. 


Ducky: Or I am. Whichever. Shhhhhh. 

Me: So I think it’s time for kitty to go away.



Ducky: If you think you can take her then you’re definitely the one dreaming.

Me: Really? Because if I try to take her you’ll do what?

Ducky: You don’t want to know.


Ducky: Technically you can’t know.

Me: Because?


Me: Because you don’t know?

Ducky: Just sounded good.

Me: Uh huh.

Ducky: Thought it might bide me some time until you woke up.

Me: I’m not asleep.

Ducky: So we have agreed that I am the one asleep!

Me: No we…

Ducky: Shhhhh. Sleeping.


Ducky: Sleeping comfortably with a perfectly semi-unstuffed kitty right under my neck that only a very mean Daddy would attempt to remove.


Ducky: I mean, “Zzzzzzzzz.”

Me: You do look comfy. You can keep the kitty until you get up. But then we have to throw her out.

Ducky: Agreed.

Me: Really?

Ducky: Sure.



Me: Because you’re asleep?

Ducky: And agreements made whilst one party is slumbering are non-binding.


Ducky: You’ll be laughed out of court. Trying to form a contract with a sleeping dog. You know what they say…

Me: Let sleeping dogs lie?



Ducky: You calling me a liar?

Me: No. It’s the other lie. Like lie down.

Ducky: Ah. Never heard that one.

Me: Really? And yet contract law…

Ducky: “They say” that dogs cannot enter into legally binding contracts when in an unconscious or semi conscious state  as they cannot give willful consent.



Me: Who is the “they” in this situation?

Ducky: Dog lawyers mainly.


Ducky: Dog judges.


Ducky: Canine legal correspondents for major newspapers.


Ducky: Para-beagles.

Me: That’s enough.

Ducky: I love you, Daddy.

Me: I love you, Ducky.

Ag & Ducky

Colors and their Magical Uses
  • White: Protection, Peace, Purification, Chastity, Happiness, Halting Gossip, Spirituality
  • Green: Healing, Money, Prosperity, Luck, Fertility, Beauty Employment, Youth
  • Brown: Healing Animals, The Home
  • Pink: Emotional Love, Fidelity, Friendships
  • Red: Lust, Strength, Courage, Power, Sexual Potency
  • Yellow: Divination, Psychic Powers, Mental Powers, Wisdom, Visions
  • Purple: Power, Exorcism, Healing
  • Blue: Healing, Sleep, Peace
  • Orange: Legal Matters, Success

From “Cunningham’s Encyclopedia of Magical Herbs” by Scott Cunningham

This is a short list, there ARE more magickal uses for these colors, but this is a good start for the beginners.


i was tagged by industryicon in the 9 favorite movies challenge! this actually was a challenge because i have way more than 9 favorite movies! but these are the ones i was feeling in the moment i wrote this. i included my all-time favorites from childhood as well as some newer favorites :)