legalize my mom

As I’ve mentioned before, I was raised in a strict Christian household. It was full of love, but it was also a house that didn’t like Ellen DeGeneres or Rosie O'Donnell simply because they were gay. A house that would turn off the tv when the lesbian episodes of Friends were on (while I ran to the tv in my room and pressed “mute” to see it). One that would roll their eyes at the idea of gay marriage. Parents that meant well and just went by what they were taught, wanting us to grow up with something to believe. I remember sobbing in high school, thinking they would absolutely kill me. Things slowly started changing when I was 16+.

My Mom was the one who asked if I was gay. She was my biggest supporter, my secret keeper, and the one I told everything to. My Dad? He went from not wanting me to come out, to protect me, to telling everyone he knows if they ask if I’m “dating any new guys” - because that’s simply who I am. In his words “why hide it? Who cares?”. My Mom came to me about Carol on her own, wanting to watch it to see the love story. When gay marriage was legalized, I called my Mom sobbing. She was sobbing with me, after yelling “YES! THANK GOD” in front of all of her friends.

After being raised to hate who I was, not even allowing it to be an option - to now, my Mother texting me just now saying “Do you have any more Human Rights Campaign stickers like you have on your car? I want one on mine”

Change is a beautiful thing. Believe in it and believe in people.

THAT’S parenting.

Don't mess with a schoolteacher.

My mom was a schoolteacher, and the sponsor of one of the school’s student organizations that did charity work in the community.  One of the ways they raised funds was to sell candy bars.  She had a locked cabinet where said candy bars were stored, but there was one problem– the maintenance guy had keys for all of the cabinets, and he was going in to the cabinets and helping himself to ridiculous amounts of free chocolate.  We’re talking $10 to $15 worth a day, which of course was severely depleting the funds raised to the point where they were raising as much money to support this jerk’s sweet tooth as they were for the community.

When she brought it to the attention of the school administration, the maintenance guy threatened to sue both the school system and my mother for slander, and since there was no way to prove it (this was the 80’s and surveillance technology was not cheap at the time), the administration told her to back off on the accusation or she would be fired for being a legal liability.

So my mom asked me to create a few fake flyers for a bake sale, and made some large double-chocolate fudge brownies. I had wrapped them and put labels on them marking them at $2.00 each, and she locked a tin full of them in the cabinet on Friday– he always took a little extra on Fridays, to get him through the weekend.

In addition to taking almost $20 worth of chocolate, he took FIVE of the brownies.  Mind you, when I say they were large, we’re talking about small cakes.  And when I say they were double chocolate, I mean they were the normal amount of chocolate– followed by a healthy dose of chocolate-flavored laxatives.

He wasn’t at work for a week.  Mom actually felt kind of bad about it– she had no idea he would take so many of them, and he very well could have killed himself. 

So after a week, she gets called into the office, and there’s maintenance guy– he’s clearly lost several pounds and still isn’t looking very healthy.  And there, on the principal’s desk, is the tin of brownies.  He is again threatening a lawsuit, and says he’s going to the cops.

Mom, of course, denies everything, and says if he doesn’t have any proof, he’s the one that’s going to get sued.  He says that he’s got the brownies as proof– at which point she opens the brownie tin that now contains REGULAR brownies, normal sized, and all in one zip-lock bag.  She eats one right in front of the principal, and offers him one.  (Remember, I was the one that had wrapped them, and the label was computer printed– none of her fingerprints, none of her handwriting.)

The principal then fired the guy because he’d just admitted that he was stealing.

Petty Revenge: Your daily dose of the best petty revenge stories.

on the topic of kpop, i want to  say i don’t think what you identify with affects how you process things—for example: i lost serious interest in the fast and furious franchise as a means of very topically portraying a sense of street racing culture and catering to the audience gained in its success, after the third installment, but also appreciated the elevation in production value that leads to a much amplified experience of the original product. bad commercial art with successful execution can be sometimes on the same rung as good private art. you don’t have to like something for what it is but how it is.

#all this to say #kpop is my guilty pleasure #i’m coming out to you #mes confidents

you ever seen them music videos

Originally posted by baejoohyun

those girls are having fun

Update on the thing

Tenant’s (he’s still legally my tenant) mom called last night to ask me to please not throw tenant’s stuff out in the street. I reassured her that I couldn’t legally do that until I evicted him–and, at her request, told her approximately how much he owed in back rent.

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” she said.

Anyway, this is the first secondhand information I’ve heard from my tenant since his former boss called to tell me he was writing him off for stealing from the company. So there’s that.

im listening to the latest mbmbam and they’re answering a question about how to let a loved one know they’ve been scammed and it reminded me of the time my mom got scammed very recently

there are these trucks in atlanta that sell WEED ⁽ᶠᶫᵃᵛᵒʳᵉᵈ⁾ CANDY 100% LEGAL and my mom fuckin spent 200 bucks at this weed candy truck without even trying one of the weed candies

and like

first result on google for googling this company’s name is “dont buy this shit it’s fake” 

she spent 200 dollars and didn’t even try one first before she spent the money

COME ON DOG

she got an earful from both me and my sister, basically

I’m 13. A girl. Straight and Roman Catholic. Ok so on with my story.
I just finished arguing with my mom about calling gays ‘fags".
So hear how it went down.
So I was listening to FOB (fall out boy) and the song playing was save rock and roll ft. Elton John.
Me: mom do you know who’s Elton John?
My mom: yeah he’s a fag.
Me: why did you call him a fag?
My mom: because he’s married to a man
Me: so what would you like someone to call your son a fag!
My brother: what’s a fag?
My mom: a gay man
My brother:isn’t that illegal?
(My brother’s 8)
Me: no it’s actually legal in 50 states!
My mom: don’t tell him that!
Me:why not! It’s the truth. Nothing’s wrong with being gay or a lesbian
My mom: it isn’t right by god.
Me:So what! anyone can love who they want! Don’t call people who are gay “fags” cause I’m sure as hell you wouldn’t anybody calling your son a “fag”
My mom:*silent*
Moral of this story is you don’t have to be gay or bisexual or asexual or whatever to understand the importance of loving and having feelings for who you want.
And mother if you’re reading this yoU’RE A BITCH FOR CALLING ELTON JOHN A FAGGOT!! I let it pass when you kept insulting Caitlyn Jenner because you’re not supposed to disrespect your elders but UUUGGGHHHH!!!! Shut the fuck up and keep your opinions to yourself!! And this goes for everyone!!!

anonymous asked:

Do I need both parents to consent to let me go to a therapist or take hormones? They're legally married but my mom's literally never around.

Tobias says:

I don’t think you need both parents s=to consent for therapy. I mean, you can legally go to a therapist by yourself, without your parents knowing (in some states). But I think you do need both parents to get on hormones. I think that’s something you should ask your therapist when you get to it. 

  • <p> <b>Parent:</b> I'm not calling HER 'Mark' unless she gets a legal name change and not calling HER a boy unless she gets a sex change.<p/><b>Me:</b> It's out of respect?<p/><b>Parent:</b> I don't care, not doing it unless they pass it with the law.<p/><b>Me:</b> Okay, Carol.<p/><b>Parent:</b> You have to call me mom.<p/><b>Me:</b> Why.<p/><b>Parent:</b> Because it's out of respect!<p/><b>Me:</b> :^) is mom your legal name?<p/></p>

Last year I went to my first PRIDE festival and everything was amazing and exciting because gay marriage all around the country was just legalized

This year my mom is begging me not to go because she doesn’t want me to get shot and killed

I can’t feel safe anywhere