So yeah, It’s been a week and I’ve had a few people actually notice it in person and start asking so now I’ll make the actual post to say that I got a tattoo. It was done by the incredibly talented Kailee Love at Tormented Souls in East Northport, NY.    

It was way easier than I expected.  I’m really bad with needles in general so I expected it to actually be pretty difficult to get through.

Really simple process, actually took longer to set up than to do it but it’s small and really basic so I expected that.  

I love how it came out.  It’s exactly what I wanted and I really can’t be more pleased with it.  It’s so perfectly imperfect.  I love that it’s not totally symmetrical and that it has a little kink in it and doesn’t close at the bottom.  I didn’t want to get a cookie cutter, perfectly even, uniform font style heart. I wanted it to be more personal so I had my best friend, Brittany draw up a bunch and I picked one that I liked most.

As for why a little heart on my wrist?  I’ve had a lot of trouble with depression in my life and still do all the time.  Someone who used to be close to me would draw a heart on my wrist when they knew I was down so I had that reminder that there was always someone who cared.  Silly as it may seem, I’ve kept the idea for years and stuck with it long after that person and I stopped talking.  Not always going to stop the bad thoughts but it has stopped me from taking action on them many times.  I decided that I wanted to have that reminder always there, and in the handwriting of someone close to me so I picked the one person who’s been through it all with me for almost 9 years now.

I’ve had a few people ask me who it’s for.  It’s not for anyone but me.  It’s facing me for that very reason, it’s meant for me to have that constant reminder to stay alive.

leftfac3 replied to your post: I’m not happy…

Hey doofus. I’m off tomorrow so you should hang with Ray, Tim, Billy, and I. Maybe more people I don’t know. I hate when your sad and even though I’ve been failing at making your life better for 8 years I still like to see a tiny smile on your face.

You know, I could kiss you with that kinda spirit.  You’re always there for me <3

And you don’t fail to make my life better, you just don’t have the answers to my problems.  Nothing I could fault you for.

Hey wait…you off tonight?  My shift got cut… Doctor Who is on tonight…. so yeah.  We should totally watch Doctor Who and make out…assuming I don’t sleep for the next 20 hours.

So Thursday night rapidbacon and I had plans to hang out, he shows up, and leftfac3 shows up at the same time by chance and unannounced, which is totally cool cause I love her and I don’t get to see enough of her.
But anyway, since I was home I wasn’t loaded up in a big hoodie or anything and she gives me a big hug and almost right away asks me if I’ve lost weight.  Let me note that she sees me about once a week, so it’s not like it’s been months since we’ve hung out.  But it was just kinda really awesome that she could notice that just from hugging me and really gave me a nice little confidence boost that I’ve been riding all weekend.

leftfac3 replied to your photoSo I’ve got a spare code for this “Xbox Loves You”…

Brittany does. Oh ps, I’m hanging with anthony tonight and he wants to see you.

If anyone else replies I’ll turn it into a random drawing but I doubt anyone will but I’ll send the code when I come home from work tomorrow morning.  I’m on tonight again till 5am though,  I can’t hang :/  They have me next week Monday to Friday too.