lectural

why you should be my pal: conversations include me complaining about trees and complaints in general

2

Old physics notes and new biochem notes on capacitors and lipid metabolism, respectively. Only one week until the final exam for both of these 😬
Good luck to everyone taking finals now or soon!
Happy studying!

anonymous asked:

I'm curious about your weight :3

“A tad bit of a personal question, wouldn’t you say? I suppose there’s little harm in it, though. Within the Shepherds, I am among the tallest and heaviest. I weigh around 14 and a half stones; more or less in line with a man of my height and musculature. I maintain my physique with a balanced diet, a rigorous fitness regimen, and a strict adherence to my daily schedule. I awaken an hour before sunrise each morning and turn in each evening before midnight.

With that out of the way, good stranger, might I offer you a word of advice? Do not ask other people about their weight if you can help it. Not everyone you come across is so secure in their physique, and such inquiries can be seen as rude in certain circles.”

We’re in a psychology lecture comparing the abilities of humans to that of chimps, monkeys, other non-human animals, etc, etc. To start our lecturer asked us to “list special things humans can do” on a poll site, just as a warmup task.

Below’s the full list of submissions.

• Lying
• “Hiding in my room alone”
• Sleep
• Eat a full, large Dominoes pizza in one go
• Sex
• Banging
• Dab
• Make Cake
• Twerk
• “Computer Game”
• Middle Finger
• Lying To Manipulate People Into My Evil Plans
• Be Conscious Sometimes
• Fly (this was downvoted by 22 people)
• Run away from our responsibilities
• Fingering

Long story short we’re all dumb fucks.

  • innocuous tumblr user: hey dudes do any of y'all feel this rather specific, yet common emotion/thing?
  • me: hah hey yeah I know that feeli-
  • another tumblr user whos opinion nobody asked for: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACTUALLYY There's a WORD for this. it's called asafdfhggfjlhkerjuiophilia it'S THIS EXTRA SPECIAL FEELING ONE GETS WHEN THEY- *goes on for several paragraphs*
  • me: :) *furiously scrolls down*

Stuff you can think about while continuing to ignore JK’s racist and pathetically misguided attempts at approximating American wizard history:

  • magic schools in old, one room schoolhouses enchanted to have a dozen rooms for a hundred students at a time
  • magic schools under the Appalachians disguised as old, abandoned coal mines
  • magic schools disguised as abandoned railroad towns (there are a LOT more of those than you think. Seriously, look up West Virginia ghost towns sometime)
  • magic schools under the Kansas hills, built like sod houses to resemble the old faerie mounds
  • historically black magic schools
  • each Native American nation having its own school of magic, making sure their own traditions won’t die out and be forcibly replaced with European ones
  • Chesapeake Bay Academy, the magic school for the DMV (DC, Maryland, and northern Virginia) being sister schools with Mahoutokoro
  • magical schools mascots like hidebehinds, cactus cats, and teakettlers (because lumberjack folklore is weird and adorbs and makes perfect magical creatures)
8

Take up a false identity and immerse yourself into the Bloodborne academia experience. But…try to get along.