here’s a list of theories for the upcoming episode “The Audit” (note: most of them involve jazz brunch):
- Jake and Amy find this DOPE jazz brunch place which they declare their new fave, when they run into Teddy. “What are you doing here?” “This brunch place has pilsners. You two should try some.” Jake and Amy are immediately disgusted because they both kind of really hate pilsners and secretly make plans to leave and never come back. Half because they don’t like pilsners and half because running into teddy would be awkward since Amy stomped on his heart and all. And as cool as finding a jazz brunch was “Is it really important that our brunch place is jazz-themed? I mean who are we? Ryan Gosling?” “Didn’t we already make a membership card for this place though?” “Ugh, don’t remind me Jake, I’m going to spend a month untangling that mess.” “Don’t you mean we?” “No, Jake. No.” Anyway their secret plans turn out to be not so secret because Teddy overhears them and is hurt and the next day they are all shook because they run into Teddy again- but this time it’s not just their brunch place that’s at stake. It’s their work place.
- The Nine-Nine gets ready for their precinct evaluation. They’re confident, they’ve got confetti prepared to celebrate for when their precinct is declared Not Shut Down, and they’re bragging about how they’ve heavily contributed to the drop in New York’s crime rate. “Our precinct single-handedly took down all crime this year!” “No we did not, Detective Peralta. Please do not say anything like that to our auditor when they get here.” “Sure, Cap’.” Holt only sighs at Jake winking and goes back to his office with a slight smile, because even he is confident that they’ll do great. And then Teddy comes in, Amy lets out a little shriek, and as part of their emergency plan Jake and Amy are forced to leave the building lest Teddy finds out they still work there. (Which he does, because Teddy’s a good detective. Also Amy and Jake’s names are still on their desks.) Jake and Amy decide to hide out in this jazz brunch place, and whilst everyone is having the Nightmare of their lives trying to make sure Teddy’s kept happy and doesn’t shut down their precinct, Jake and Amy are in Jazz Heaven.
- Teddy walks in on Jake and Amy doing something intimate- hugging/kissing/bantering/holding hands/making eyes at each other. He interrupts them and they both nearly have a heart attack when he reveals himself to be their auditor
- Jake and Amy panic when they find out Teddy’s their auditor. They spend the entire day walking on eggshells because they could lose everything, and the work family they love so much could lose everything too, and it’d be their faults. But then at the end of the day they find out that Teddy ain’t at all bitter about them being together. In fact, he has his own girlfriend/boyfriend/non-binary date mate now. And they love pilsners just like he does. In fact, they met at this Pilsners Appreciation Getaway and it was very romantic. Teddy still understands why they’d be worried though, and because he thinks it’d be best for them to have an auditor who they won’t suspect has any unrelated objectives or ill will, he gets himself replaced with another auditor. Except he had no idea his replacement used to date Terry.
- Jake and Amy pretend that they’re not dating the whole day, even acting as if they hate each other, setting up fake arguments and the like. Teddy eventually buys it and decides not to shut down their precinct. He supposedly leaves, but when Jake and Amy are caught making out by Teddy himself in the carpark/bathroom/some supposedly hidden place, he gets a heart attack and has to be replaced by another auditor. “Our fake fights got us really horny! Can you really blame us for making out and accidentally giving our auditor a heart attack in the process?”
Feel free to add your own!!