leaves'

It’s just like.. sometimes there are no feelings in my heart..
—  Sadness
2

new haircut and an alya pep talk <3

All the pain we’ve been through just shows how impossible it is for us to let go of each other.
—  Poets Love Her
good things that happened today that prove life may not suck so bad after all:

• had a fancy bread for breakfast this morning. it had assorted fruit and some kind of cream on top of it and it tasted suuuper sweet and delicious
• told my little sister on the phone that i was coming home this weekend and she immediately screamed in excitement. it made me smile a bit
• caught up with some of the care e-mails @whelvenwings has been sending me. may or may not have laughed/cried throughout the whole process
• watched a lot of videos by my favorite youtubers that i’d been missing out on
• told some friends about my recently diagnosed mental illness and informed them about quitting med school soon. they responded (surprisingly) very nicely?
• one of them even offered me a position in his team for a neurological research that im not entirely oblivious about. thanked him for his offer and told him i might consider it at some point
• had noodles for dinner. it was the right amount of warm and spicy and it sat very nicely in my tummy
• spent 2 whole hours browsing through memes like The Cool Kid™ that i am
• realized that i’ve done a lot of things i should be proud of this week by putting myself first, for once
• you done good, citra
• you done good

jessica988  asked:

First huge fight..

Waves crashed against the pilings, immersing Kristoff’s foot in water.  He looked down in disgust.  Fitting, he thought.  He pulled it up from the edge of the pier and sat farther back, glad that the waterproofing on his boot kept most of the water out.  The tide was coming back in.  Had he really been sitting out here that long?

He should get up and go find lunch.  While he was at it, he should march right back to the castle and apologize.  That would be the right thing to do, but instead he was unable to move.  He was still angry and he didn’t know how to come to terms with that.  The shouting match hadn’t gotten them anywhere.  Every time he tried to collect his thoughts to get a word in, Anna was there, talking too fast, wanting explanations and getting more and more irritating.  When she dared him to leave, his answer to her was to walk away.  He’d have the final say one way or another.

Anna probably didn’t want to see him right now anyway and he deserved that.  But she was also wrong and he didn’t know what to do to fix this. Worry and regret began to take over and he wished he was normal and knew what to say and do to make this right. His head fell into his hands.  

“She probably doesn’t want to see you ever again,” he muttered to himself.

“That’s a little extreme, don’t you think?”

Kristoff whipped his head around to see Anna standing behind him.  He almost smiled before the events of last night washed over him.  He set his mouth firm again and turned to look out at the Fjord.  “How’d you find me?”

“One of the guards tipped me off that you were down here.”

Her knee touched his leg when she sat down.  It made him feel ill at how he had spoken to her last night.  He wanted to reach out and hold her and tell he was sorry.  But he also wanted finish what they had started talking about before things had escalated.  Despite all his awkwardness and social ineptitude, he still knew things needed to be resolved between them.

When Anna spoke, her voice was unusually quiet.  “I waited for you to come back and apologize.  But you didn’t and it made me even madder at you and at how stubborn you can be.  But then I started to realize that maybe I was the one that needs to apologize to you.”  

Kristoff didn’t respond at first, instead watching Anna from the corner of his vision pick at a loose thread on her skirt.  

“I tried to find you,” she continued, keeping her head down.  “But you weren’t anywhere.  I probably would have looked all evening, but it was getting late and Elsa told me that maybe it was better to let things cool down.  You know, get a good night’s sleep and see things from a fresh perspective.”

“Then I’m in trouble,” Kristoff  huffed.

“I couldn’t sleep either,” Anna said.  “I did see the sun come up this morning and it was so beautiful and all I wanted to do was tell you about it.   You know, it was the first sunrise I’ve seen since we were in the mountains looking for Elsa.”

Anna’s hand moved to rest on his knee, palm open with an invitation.   When Kristoff looked at Anna, she was smiling.  But those beautiful eyes that he loved so much held a fear in them and it almost destroyed him.  He slowly slid his hand over hers and entwined their fingers.

“I’m sorry I yelled,” Kristoff said softly.

“Me too.  And I’m sorry I called you a stubborn ass.”

Kristoff let out a hearty laugh.  “I should be offended, but it’s true.”  

It wasn’t long before they were both laughing and Kristoff was blushing like he always did whenever he was around Anna.  He pulled Anna onto his lap, keeping his arms around her waist as she cupped her hands on his cheeks.

“No more fighting, alright?” Anna said.

“I can guarantee you that won’t be only time.  I’ve been told couples argue from time to time.”

“Okay, but not like that again.”

“Deal.”

Anna was still holding her hands to his face, gazing into his eyes with relief and love.  “We didn’t get much resolved last night.  Do you want to talk about things?” she asked.

“Yes,” Kristoff answered. “But right now we have something more important to do.”

“What’s that?” Anna asked.

Kristoff took a quick look around to make sure they were alone.  “Make up,” he said right before pulling her into a deep kiss.

I honestly had a dude like YELL at me yesterday because he told me where free sandwiches were and I said “oh that’s great, but I ate dinner like twenty minutes ago.” 

He was like I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THAT MATTERS, WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU and then said he was gonna go find people who “aren’t on DIETS.”