leaves moving

Misunderstood - Chapter 4

The sky was still cloudy, still drizzling over two people standing in the square. The trees moved, the leaves hit the ground. The wind was blowing hard on them.

Molly stared in disbelief at the detective, still unable to believe what her ears heard escaping his lips. He said it in a low voice as a secret.

“God help me Molly Hooper because … I’m in love with you”  Sherlock said.

His voice was lower than usual. Sherlock felt Molly react to his words. He knew that it would be hard to believe, but he would try it without fatigue to prove that his words were true. It is the only truth that can no longer hide, is no longer buried in the depths of his being, or ignored by his mind and body.

“Sherlock I … I don’t know what to tell you … How can you feel things for me? I … Why now?” Molly asked in surprise, her hands on the detective’s face.

“I just know that I’m sorry … I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through Molly, there’s a lot I must tell you, I don’t know where to start, I just ask you to understand me, this is difficult for me, I never felt this, I can not hide it from you anymore ” Sherlock said.

Sherlock sighed and smiled at Molly’s reaction to his words. He knew his voice fascinated her.

Molly smiled back, still confused by everything that was happening.

“Why was that  call?  I …” Molly looked confused  “you never gave me hints that you did not even notice my existence Sherlock, why now? How can I believe that you love me? ” Molly continued, her eyes confused.

“Molly believe me, I’m not lying, look at me, you know me well, you see through me like no one in this world”  Sherlock said, approaching to the pathologist’s lips.

She closed her eyes, cursing herself for not being stronger. The drizzle turned into a cold rain, but they were still there, kissing as if they were the only people in the city. The kiss was soft, very soft. Sherlock could not resist her.

“Molly is better if we’re going to talk somewhere else, it’s starting to rain”  he said. “I’ll tell you everything, no secrets, I promise”

"Well, Sherlock, I’ll give you one more chance, and I hope you’ll convince me” Molly replied.

That’s how they took a cab to Molly’s house. Sherlock had not been there for a long time. Both entered the house and took off their coats.

“Would you like a cup of tea?” Molly asked.

“yes, please”

Molly headed toward the kitchen and Sherlock followed her and entered the kitchen, where that call was, where her heart broke and she begged for mercy.

Sherlock felt a lump in his throat and swallowed.

“The tea is ready” said Molly.

Both went to the living room, Sherlock began to tell her what had happened, the meaning of the call remained for the end, he talks about Sherrinford, the director, Euros, Mycroft and Victor Trevor.

Molly listened intently, convinced that what she was hearing was not a lie. She nodded and commented. Everything surprised her, she knew nothing about his sister, nothing about Sherlock’s past in his childhood either. Imagining him as a child made her smile inside.

Sherlock began to tell her about the coffin, about how he deduced it was for her and then as Euros did call her. The silver plate with that message. The cameras in her house. Jim Moriarty.

“Why me Sherlock?” Why did Euros choose me? “ Molly asked.

“Because she knew, she knew how to take what I felt from me, you know that I never get involved with anyone sentimentally because it’s a disadvantage, I always thought that ,Molly” said looking at her

"But imagining you inside that coffin, after seeing how Mary’s loss affected John made me crazy,  I tried to calm me but the clock was running out and you did not say it and …” Sherlock became nervous, Molly stroked his hand and seconds later he relaxed.

“Then the time was up and the screen did not focus. Then I freaked out ,Molly … I thought I had lost you, that you had died because of me, I thought you dead and … ” Sherlock closed his eyes  “I destroyed the coffin with my own hands. That feeling of loss I never want to sit down again, I can not feel it anymore Molly… I could not think of anything …”

“Well, that explains a lot of things” she said, caressing his delicately injured knuckles.

“I don’t know how to continue with this, I don’t know what to do in such a situation, I never love anyone and my behaviors are not indicated, I know that I am terrible as a person and say terrible things but … the only thing I know is that I want to be with you"  he said, putting a hand on her cheek.

“Sherlock, all I want is to be with you, I always dreamed it and this is so sudden and you have so many more things to tell me”  Molly told him.

Sherlock lowered his gaze and took her hand.

“All I know is that I love you Sherlock … and it will always be like this” Molly said looking into his eyes, they were dilated.

Sherlock swallowed hard. He approached to the pathologist to kiss her, kissed her hard. He felt his own body tremble inside as he heard Molly’s confession.

“Say it again, Molly.”

“I love you …” said a Molly dizzy by the essence of the detective, his lips were her condemnation.

I love you…” he whispered, bringing his mouth close to hers.

Put your happiness and wellness first. Make yourself a priority and leave those that bring you down. It’s okay.

8

endless list of favorite movies: Brokeback Mountain (2005) dir. Ang Lee

We coulda had a good life together. Fuckin’ real good life. Had us a place of our own. But you didn’t want it, Ennis. So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain. Everything’s built on that. That’s all we got, boy, fuckin’ all. So I hope you know that, even if you don’t never know the rest…I wish I knew how to quit you.

I hope one day you regret everything and realize things weren’t so bad between us and maybe you realize I did my best for you every single day. However, when that day comes I’ll be gone, and we missed a perfectly good chance to find happiness together.

“when he left me… i slipped into dresses that were shorter and hugged me tighter than he did. i called him completely sober and blamed the alcohol that wasnt running through my veins. i wrote his name over and over and called it poetry. i dressed in black at weddings. i slept in strangers beds and scream at love. look youre not the only one who can destroy me. i can destroy myself too.”

—s.g // excerpts from a book ill never write #64