leave me alone i have feels

I don’t understand why people feel the need to come into my inbox and debate my opinions with me.

Like, can you not just make your own post and move on? I’d love to be friends with you or whatever but not everybody has to be Right about everything. Your thoughts have been noted, thanks a bunch, leave me alone to play with my toys in peace.

(Anyway I’m done talking about Harry Potter if that wasn’t clear. Please stop sending me messages about it.)

2

“on the glass, the word took shape.

M U R D E R E D

it began another word. there was not enough space left between the D and the new word, and so the second word partially obliterated the first. and again, again, again, across each other:

M U R D E R E D M U R D E R E D M U R D E R E D

stepping forward, leaning over the hood of the car, ronan pressed his finger to the windshield, and while they watched, he wrote:

R E M E M B E R E D.

[Major Spoilers] “Follow your true feelings!”: My Musings on P5′s Wildcard Couple

Can we talk about Morgana’s astute observations regarding Akechi’s true feelings for Akira? Can we talk about how (Morgana’s words–not mine) Akechi’s smile when he was hanging out with Akira had been genuine? This boy– who had distanced himself from everyone, who had wrapped himself up in layers upon layers of lies that he wears like a second skin, who had made revenge his one and only goal in life – had also, in spite of himself, serendipitously found kinship in the one boy whom he has decided that he has to kill. 

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im so tired of fake friends..
and by fake friend I don’t mean friends that act cool to your face and then talk shit when you leave. No no no no. I mean something way worse than that.
I mean those “friends” who say they’ll always be there for you, the ones that tell you if you ever need anything you can always talk to me, but when you need them they’re nowhere to be found. The friends that make plans with you multiple times and make up some excuse for why they can’t come now or just never text you at all and you’re just stuck waiting until hours later they have some flimsy excuse as to why they never got back with you.
You know… those “friends”.

The Friendly Wager (Part 1)

Summary: AU. Reader and Bucky Barnes are neighbors and best friends. After yet another bad date, reader comes home to find Bucky with his typical weekend target. They decide to make a wager about dating, but is there more on the line than reader cares to admit?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,528

Warnings: language, fluff, sarcasm, bad date, implied sexual situations (no smut)

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely Kait’s ( @bionic-buckyb) 5k AU Challenge. Congrats on the followers, friend! My prompt was “Can you please come over so I don’t feel so alone?” I think this will have at least seven parts, so Kait, please feel free to disregard it till it’s completed :)

Part 1 - 2

Originally posted by talkinboutmyimagination

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Let Me Help

Spencer Reid x Reader (smut)

Requested: Yes. Anon: hey! I really love your blog and I was wondering if you could do a reid x reader where the reader has a wet dream about Spencer and she finally tells him about her dream after he asks her what’s wrong and it ends in smut?? thank you so much

Word Count: 3,589, Warnings: Swearing, NSFW, Oral Sex.

A/N: Oh my God okay so I went a little crazy on this one and it’s a full fledged long fic. I was writing this and I actually needed to take a break my palms were sweating because Reid is so fucking hot. Anyway, I hope you like it! Please let me know if you want a Part 2 ;)

- M xo

(Gif not mine, credit to owner)

Originally posted by hisirishsoufflegirl

Sprawled out on your bed, your naked form was being admired and touched by a handsome man. He glided his fingers up and down the sides of your thighs as he placed sensual kisses on your stomach. “God, you’re so beautiful.”, whispered Spencer. 

Wait what? Spencer? Hold on. Did you just have a wet dream about your nerdy co-worker?

You woke up in your bed covered in sweat as you tried to calm down your flustered state as you panted heavily trying to vaguely recollect the memories of the dream you had just had. It wasn’t a bad dream, in fact, it was amazing. You squeezed your thighs together in hopes of some sort of relief, but all you could do was think about the dream, which made your state even worse.

You sat there in silence as you tried to comprehend what had just happened. You’d been working at the BAU for 4 years now and you had never thought of Spencer that way. Sure he was tall, had gorgeous chiselled cheekbones and never failed to amaze you with his intelligent brain. Oh, God. Here you were thinking inappropriately about your co-worker at 3 in the morning when you had to be in for work at 7. There was no way you were going to act normal in front of him after this strange yet intoxicating image of you and Spencer practically having sex ingrained in your brain. All you could do was try to get back to sleep and hope that the flush would be over in the morning.

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“JUNHUI SENT A VIDEO” ੭ JUNHUI

Contains :  bestfriend!junhui, SMUT !  

Group : SEVENTEEN

Member : Jun/Wen Junhui

Words : + 2,8k

Summary : Junhui was a cocky guy, that was for sure, but you never thought that he was that cocky, as you glare at your phone screen, a shaky finger pressing on the imagine of his smooth torso, his hand wrapped around his cock.

Originally posted by indigyu

A/N : For all my babies suffering from the lack of seventeen smut, there you go ! + I’m writing this now instead of after my exams because I was revising and my friend sent me the video of Jun dancing to Who and yeah I couldn’t.
+ someone told me it was similar to other smuts and yes it is, I red other writings with the same plot so this smut is inspired by them


[11:06] you : jun, leave me alone

A sigh left your lips as you placed your phone beside you, trying to focus on the papers all over your desk. Fingertips rubbing your temples, you closed your eyes, trying to remember the things you were reading a few moments before. You hated it, you hated having to learn things by heart, just to recite everything like a robot in front of a teacher, as if it would prove that you were intelligent or something.

On top of that, your best friend was texting you non stop. You were already a pretty distracted person, but with him making your phone buzz every minute, it was even worst. He was a year above you, and didn’t have to pass any exams. His school year was over, and he was celebrating it tonight, in a party thrown by someone from his class.

But apparently, the party wasn’t that amazing, since it seemed like he wasn’t leaving his phone to go grind on some girl.

 [11:07] junhui : talk to meeeee :(
[11:07] you : omg jun why are you like this, leave me alone
[11:08] junhui : its boring without you :(

A laugh escaped your lips, he was probably at least a bit tipsy. See, Jun was your best friend, but you both had this thing were you acted like you hated each other. But when alcohol was running in his system, Jun was the first to spill his feelings, and it was always so rewarding to see his face the day after when you red him his drunk texts.

[11:08] you : you know i have my last test soon
[11:08] you : are you already drunk ? its not even midnight omg
[11:09] junhui : no shit i fucking know you have a test
[11:09] junhui : i cant believe you left me like that

You rolled your eyes at his text, before typing. Yeah, you could understand him. You two were ready to leave, because you were supposed to go with him, but you decided to stay at the last minute, quickly leaving your tight dress for your large pyjama shirt.
Jun had tried to convince you to go with him, after all, the test was only in a week, but you didn’t want to waste time partying while you could use this time to work.

[11:10] you : dont be like this, you know its an important test
[11:10] you : go dance or something, we’ll have all summer to party together
[11:11] junhui : i dont want to dance :( :( :(
[11:11] you : yOU’RE SO ANNOYING JUGNDHGU
[11:11] you : im gonna study byyye

For a moment, the boy stopped texting you, and you thought that maybe he was finally dancing and having some fun. Going back to your notes, you tried to memorize everything, repeating the important points to yourself.
A tired smile stretched your lips when you finally got everything right, moving to the next text. Rolling your eyes, you groaned, seeing how long the plan you had to memorize was, and how depressing the text was, talking about how Humans were damned no matter what.

You took a deep breath, sitting comfortably before starting reading every point, then, your phone buzzed again.

[11:25] junhui : hi
[11:26] junhui : answer me
[11:27] junhui : y/n
[11:27] junhui : :(
[11:28] junhui : i wont stop until you answer
[11:29] junhui : thats the worst party ive ever seen
[11:30] junhui : and i cant even leave because mingyu is the one driving
[11:30] junhui : plus im kind of drunk
[11:30] junhui : wow i cant believe you did this to me
[11:31] you : omg wen junhui ill kill you

You sighed, he wasn’t going to leave you alone, you had to navigate between answering him and revising, rolling your eyes, maybe going to the party was a better idea.

[11:31] junhui : i like when you call me by my full name thats hot
[11:31] you : wtf you have weird kinks
[11:32] junhui : wow cant believe my best friend is shaming me for my kinks !
[11:33] you : find mingyu, maybe he will drive you home
[11:33] junhui : nah i saw him going upstairs with some random girl
[11:34] you : gross
[11:34] junhui : i cant believe u did this to me
[11:35] you : omfg junhui how many times are you going to say that ?
[11:35] junhui : until you apologize ???
[11:36] you : fuck you this exam is more important than an obviously shitty party

You breathed, all your focus now on the coversation with your best friend. He would distract you anyway, and you wouldn’t be able to get any work done, so what was the point. Giving a last look at the pile of paper, you moved from your desk to your bed, trying to find a decently cold spot.

[11:37] junhui : ohmy god your test is in a fucking week
[11:38] you : fuck its just a party why are you getting mad about it ?
[11:38] junhui : because
[11:39] you : you’re a child
[11:39] junhui : whatever
[11:40] you : omg

You growned, dropping your phone on your side, your arm resting on your eyes. He didn’t respond, and it was for the best, when Jun was drunk, he could either be super whiny for nothing, or super angry for nothing, and you would rather stop talking to him for the night than have a conversation with an angry stubborn guy.

The summer night was growing hotter, your shirt starting to stick to your body. Tugging at it to let some air hit your skin, you thought for a moment that Jun finally gave up, maybe finding someone to drive him home.

[11:55] junhui : im in the bathroom
[11:57] you : k
[11:57] junhui : i have a boner
[11:58] you : dID I ASK

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, drunk Jun could be either way super whiny, super angry or super horny, yeah you forgot about that.
See, another thing in your friendship was how comfortable both of you were when it came to sex. Junhui was already super comfortable talking about it, and so, you grew more and more confident talking about it with him. That was one of the few things you were grateful for.

[11:59] you : go get some girl to grind on i’m studying

You lied, hoping and praying god that you couldn’t have to deal with a drunk and horny Junhui.
A few moments passed, and again, you thought that he was out of the bathroom dancing on some girl, because you knew that a lot of them were willing to do it. It wasn’t news that Junhui was pretty popular, his delicate features and sweet voice were enough for a lot of girls, but he also had amazing hands, and those thighs, god, the result of years of dancing.
In addition to all of this, the way his hips moved was sinful. You remember seeing him dancing to one the songs he made with his friends, his hips moving slowly, his hand resting on his thigh, so close to his crotch.

Yeah, these were one of these days where you asked yourself, how the fuck do I even contain myself. 

After moving his hips, you remember his eyes finding yours before he started body rolling, his shoulders broad, toned stomach moving.
And it wasn’t all, the choregraphy continued again until his hands made contact with the floor, supporting himself as he fucking grinded on the floor, powerful thrusts over the floor, and you cursed under your breath.

You couldn’t admit it to yourself, but you couldn’t stop thinking about how his body moved, and you blamed it on sexual frustration, yeah that was it.

But more and more, your breath strated inching everytime he got closer, or when his hands got too adventurous, because he also wasn’t helping it.
But soon, you convinced yourself that you couldn’t think about your best friend in such ways, it was weird. You were making it weird at least.

[00:05] junhui : sent a video

Your thoughts got cut by the sound of your phone, your hand grabbing it before tracing your password, and your fucking mind went blank.

Your eyes stayed glued to your screen, blinking a few times, before checking again the name of the contact, yeah that was Jun.
Your troath was dry, and you tried to swallow the built of saliva.

The thumbnail was enough to leave you breathless, and even more sweaty.

Fuck, what was that for ?

You unconsciously licked your lips, your eyes fixed on the image.

Jun’s was sitting in what looked like a bathroom, his black jeans tugged to the middle of his muscular thighs, his black shirt riding up, revealing a parcel of his skin. His hand was wrapped around his cock, tip already red, several rings hugging his fingers. You couldn’t see his face, the image cut to his sweaty neck, but you could understand that his head was thrown back.

You cursed under your breath, a shaky finger pressing on the message, the image filling your screen before starting.
And it started right away, the boy’s hand slowly pumping up and down, his thumb stopping to collect the drop of precum. Touching his sensitive head, you heard a hiss, your mouth falling agape, waiting for more, and it stopped.

Your eyes widen, still locked on the screen, before catching the small three dots on your phone.

[00:06] junhui : fuck, im so hard
[00:06] junhui : help me

You looked up from your screen, as if someone would suddently appear at the end of your bed to help you in this situation.
Your heart was pounding, what the fuck were you supposed to do ? He sent it like it was the most normal thing to do.

And fuck, you wanted to run away from your phone and hide, but on the other hand, your eyes were still glued to the small picture, your mind replaying the faint hiss.

[00:07] junhui : y/n
[00:08] you : you can’t send things like that omg
[00:08] junhui : omfg its okay youre my best friend
[00:08] junhui : just help me
[00:08] junhui : please

“Best friends”, was that a common thing to send nudes to your best friend ? You took a deep breath, before typing again, what the fuck were you getting yourself into.

[00:09] you : what the fuck do you want me to do
[00:09] you : you have a fucking boner its not my fault youre a horny fuck
[00:10] junhui : sent a vocal

You rolled your eyes, taking your headphones before playing the audio, and your heart sank. It started with a clear, deep moan, you could hear that he was trying to stay quiet, before muffling it, the sound of his hand moving in the background was faint, and he started talking. God, his voice was raspy, low, breathless, “What do you mean it’s not your fault ? I have a fucking boner because of you, fuck- That dress looked so good on you.”

Your breath grew uneven, catching your lip between your teeth. A breathy moan fell from his lips, probably picturing you in the dress you were wearing earlier, “And fuck- d-did you really have to start taking it off in front of me ?” You couldn’t help but smile as you remembered taking the straps off in front of him, letting him see a bit of your bra, but you couldn’t imagine that it had such and effect on him.

“God, please, send something, a picture, anything, I don’t care.”, he moaned, before ending the audio. You eyes widen, a picture ? Fuck, you wanted to continue whatever was going on, feeling the familiar discomfort between your legs but you really didn’t know how to take it.

Eventually, you moved your phone, stretching your arm above your head, opening the camera. Your moved to lay on your back, bending your knee up as your other hand tugged your shirt upwards, enough to show the right of your bra and your panties.

It was the exact same bra that Jun saw as you took your dress off earlier, the lacy black bra un panties hugging your body. You quickly took the picture, cutting it after your lips, your lower lip rosy after biting it, and you sent it.

[00:14] you : sent a picture

Biting your lip, you waited for his responce.

[00:15] junhui : fuck, you look so good
[00:16] junhui : sent a video

And this time, you didn’t hesitate to open the video, your breath stopping. Fuck, if he was touching himself while looking at a picture of you, you could to that too, right ? Your hand traveled down your stomach, letting your finger press on your clit, a gasp leaving your lips.
Keeping your eyes open, you watched as the video opened on your phone, Jun’s hand moving faster this time, and holy shit, he looked so big.
His tip was red, a groan coming from his chest as he moved the phone and,

“Oh my god.”, you cursed under your breath as you took your panties off, your digit spreading your wetness. You gasped as Jun moved the phone so you were able to fully see his hand pumping his cock and his face, and god, he look amazing.

His lower lip between his teeth, looking straight at his camera through the locks of his back hair. His mouth suddently fell open with a silent moan as his head fell backwards, letting you see his Adam’s Apple bobbing and the video ended.

Fuck, you were keeping those videos, for scientific reasons.

[00:18] junhui : are you touching yourself ?

Your finger started rubbing your clit, trying your best to reply, but you didn’t even know how, so you took another picture. Quickly opening the camera, you took another one in the same position, your hand clearly visible in the shot.

[00:18] you : sent a picture
[00:19] junhui : i knew it
[00:19] junhui : fuck, i wish you were here

And then, out of nowhere, your phone rang.

You didn’t hesitate long before you accepted the call, placing your phone on your pillow beside your head.

“Y/N.”, he breathed as your finger started to work faster.

“Jun.”, you wanted your voice to be as quiet as his, but it came out in a moan.

“Fuck, why did you have to stay home.”, he gasped, breathless.

“Why did you have to go to this party.”, you replied.

“Whatever, be fucking prepared when I come home.”, a broken moan fell from his lips as you cursed under your breath, your imagination running wild. You allowed a finger to enter your heat, your digit easily sliding in. You moaned, your other hand gripping your sheet.

“God, I couldn’t stop thinking about you in that dress.”, the sound of skin clapping grew quicker as he continued, “I wish I could feel your lips around me.”, he gasped, before continuing, “You’re going to let me fuck your mouth when I come home, won’t you ?”

You moaned, his words hitting your core, but he wasn’t having it, his cocky self coming back. “Words.”

You opened your mouth, breathing heavely before answering, “Yes.”

“Yeah.”, and he laughed out of pleasure, the sound ringing in your ears, adding another finger.

“I’ll make you feel so good.”, he purred, a long moan tumbling from his lips. “You’re touching yourself, right babygirl ? Fuck yourself with your fingers, curl them, imagine my fingers instand of yours.”, he rasped, clearly reaching his climax as he was finding it hard to talk.

And you did, curling your fingers and moving faster, picturing your best friend between your legs, your hips bucking against your hand.
Your moans grew higher, more and more frequent as you moved your hips.

“Are you gonna cum ?”, he asked, breathless, groaning as he tried to wait for you.

“Jun.”, you moaned, unable to give him an answer, feeling the knot in your stomach ready to explode.

“God, I can’t wait to be inside you.”, he cooed, a broken moan filling your ears. “Come for me.”

And that’s all you needed, moaned, your back arching, a clear layer of sweat near your collarbones. Collapsing, you tried to catch your breath, closing your eyes, trying to focus on what was going on on the other side.

A series of curse words mixed with your name tumbled from his lips, before he came on a long moan, gasping every now and then.

“Fuck, fuck.”, he cursed, trying to process everything, before letting a long sigh.

Both of you stayed silent for a moment, before Jun moved the phone, before speaking in a breathless voice.

“Wait for me, I’ll be here soon.”

“I deleted your number from my phone month and months ago so that I wouldn’t text you in the late night. I know you sleep well, and fully throughout the night, and you grew sad and distanced yourself each morning you woke to find my frustration, years too late. I unfriended you on Facebook because you liked all the posts I put up, the happy ones, the good ones, the fun ones. I trained my brain to forget your last name. I taught myself not to think of your eyes. Or the shape of your collar bones. I now can proudly say I don’t think of you late at night when I stare at the light coming in my bedroom windows.”

I’m trying to slow time, and stay still enough so that I don’t wreck anything. That I don’t turn any of the good let in my life into something negative. 

I’m writing everything down lately. Because I don’t trust my memory to catch all the good and bad. It’s like a recently mended net, about to test it’s new strength. 

I hate writing K’s and G’s in my handwriting. I like writing L’s and S’s. I bought a spray bottle at the dollar store and filled it up with water and eucalyptus essential oil. I’ve been burning lavender incense and spraying my pillows with the eucalyptus water. I’ve rearranged my bookcase, and listened to an old FM radio. I searched for a station that didn’t have commercials for about 20 mins. My internet had been down some 24 hours at that point and I just needed a little something in my ears.

I’ve been gone 11 days, and now my cats don’t leave me alone. They come, twirling and dancing between my feet as I walk around surveying this apartment I missed. Each tiny and large thing put in a place that feels right, at least for now.  

In college I would repaint my studio apartment’s walls in the middle of the night because I needed a bit of a change. I would rearrange pillows, shelves and furniture because it felt better thinking about how I’d never been kissed. How I’d never known the touch of a trusted lover. Now I do it because it feels good to seek and find solace and comfort here, away from the world outside. 

I’m not sorry that I’ve allowed certain men take root in my memories. Idaho with his grumbling, growling, and breathtaking smile, his declarations. Brown eyes with the way his mouth moved when he talked and his tattoos, and his love of achingly soft music. The midwest gent for his attentive nature, patience, and his stoicism. My southern best friend who made me laugh like no other, with goofy memorable moments of pride and care, his strength. My contractor ex, nationally ranked rugby boyfriend who lived in the Poconos and who made me feel delicate, womanly, but who trusted me with a hammer and power tools. The tall gangly boy who grew into a handsome man, one night to take my hand late at night in his sports car only to whispered beautiful words of praise besides a lake under the moonlight some miles later. 

But that’s because I sometimes forget the bad associated with each. Or the bad I brought to them. 

I’m sitting on the floor, my legs have fallen asleep and I know I should shed my clothes and crawl into my bed. I should make a list of all I want to accomplish tomorrow, and I should, I should, I should, I should. 

I think I’ll soak in the tub, or change my sheets and get into bed and play a song that starts slow and sad, but builds in my chest like road trip views where you get surprised by a great landscape after the same sad thing miles and miles. Just one more hill. Just one more hike, one more mile, until you’re closer. I’m closer.

Everyday, I am thankful for those who have loved me, and who have allowed me to love them, even if it wasn’t enough for either of us in the long run. Because I’m learning to love myself more, and more. Learning to call myself out on my bullshit. Learning that exciting things happen every day, that I can make exciting things happen, worthwhile things.  

That one day, doesn’t matter how soon, all these memories, all this growth will mean a more successful relationship with another extraordinary person. With my extraordinary person. Who will grow with me. That will take me as I am, a person capable of greatness, even if that greatness is just great according to each of us, and the small things I do to affect others positively. 

I just have to breathe in, make several small movements that turn into larger ones, exhale, then do it all over again. 

a***NOTE: VENT *** (excuse my poor english)

I hate when I am having Social Anxiety and Depression. It’s feels like. Killing me inside. When I was alone, this feeling.. the feeling that you are drowning into the deep ocean and unable to escape from the wild wave. Making me unable to continue what I was doing, just sit and lean there and stare all over the surrounding. I never been checkup with a psychologist, but I could tell that I have these kind of disorders I’ve mentioned from above. How do I know that I’m suffering these disorder?

Well, tbh, i’ve been having Insomnia from what i’ve remembered when I was 12 I guess. Which mean, it has been 5 years straight. I easily lose my appetite, and my weight decrease to Severely underweight. I can’t even do any physical activities because I am easily get kidney pain from the left. Other than that, i can’t even concentrate in class and easy to forget every words of what teachers have said to me. And last but not least, I was acting harming myself (throughout school week), knocking my head to the wall, hitting myself , etc, etc.

Yes, I can feel how depression feels like when I’m studying in boarding school. I don’t have friends that i could trust, all I can see was they are being hypocrite towards me, Including my close friend in school, i know they were judging about my social interaction with others, for being shy, quiet, cannot start a simple conversation, bla bla. something like that. It’s unfair when they forced me to communicate with them, even I DID try,  they didn’t even respond what I was about to say. So, what I do is stay solitude.

I remembered when they being so nice to me, during lunch, they invited me to their table to eat together. Everyday. But, it’s different when who’s come to the table first, they invited me to their table because they came to the cafeteria earlier than me.  But when I was the one who came earlier, and sat the table that can fit 5 people in it, waving my hands, inviting them to sit where I was at. But what they did, they ignored me, and went to the other tables. And I’m here like, “oh, okay. Your welcome then” and eats alone. After that day, I started to avoid them calling me to eat lunch together. I don’t like it, because. backstabbers.

I thought holidays is my FREE times to feel freedom. Actually, I was wrong. I know have so many good friends on the internet, I know they are good pals. I know they are busy with schools/finals/works/assignment/etc. I understand about their inactive, i respect what they were doing. But sometimes, the more they are inactive, I kinda feeling left out. Alone in the silent group chat where we used to be together, makes jokes, sharing ideas, and all wonderful time we experience.

To those friends i’ve been close for so long ( i don’t want to mention their name) I just wanted to say, I am very sorry for not cheering around in our group chat when I was having school holidays. I should tell you earlier about my days to come, but I failed. My ego have taking me over, leave it the group with no ‘cheerful welcome back conversation’. Leaving you guys questioned to yourself, ‘is Golzy left our family group?’ . I really didn’t mean to leave the group. and I never wanted to leave the group because you are like a family to me since 2014. 3 years have passed you guys are all growing up, some of you guys are taking jobs, some of you went to college, schools, family, business, et cetera!

I’m feeling unmotivated day by day, although I have some new friends in a crazy group. It doesn’t makes me very happy. I feel myself i’m betraying my old friends and left them just like that , and I develop hallucination of your voices, to arouse my thought, making me FEAR of you guys.

I’m so sorry, The school have ruined me the way I communicate with people, and I’m feeling much worse lately. Even you can see me being happy, behind this virtual screen, i’m mostly a faker. I’m sorry.

Thank you for reading this.

-Golzy

being a minor in an abusive household

i did this same sort of post about being a college kid with an abusive household so i thought i’d do one for non-college kids!

***note: i’m not a minor anymore, but i’m remembering from back when i was a wee lil fetus and using that for this***

  • the “i have something important i need to talk about but who do i talk to if my parents will yell at me when i talk to them ??” problem
  • where do i go besides my room to escape ?????
  • (depending on how old you are/your ability) can’t drive anywhere so i’m Stuck
  • *gets bad grade back* shitshitshit what are they gonna say how am i gonna tell them
  • the “let’s see how long i can stay at school without causing suspicion” game
  • DoN’t LeT aNyOnE cOmE tO yOuR hOuSe
  • staying up super super late because that’s when the house is quiet and there’s no threat of an argument
  • “do i talk to them about x thing that they did/said that bothered me or do i leave it alone bc it’ll cause an argument and that’ll take an hour or so and i still have homework to do plus i gotta shower and get to sleep asap”
  • “you live under my roof so you will follow my rules”
  • *is late to school every day* teacher: is everything okay at home? parents: yup our son/daughter is just lazy and doesn’t get out of bed in the morning ha ha ha ha ha !

i know i’m forgetting things so feel free to add onto this and i’ll rb !

3

Summary:

Dean and Y/N share a bed in a motel and Dean has a dream about her, mindlessly pulling her into him and peppering he with kisses.

Words: ~2100

Warnings: mention of injuries, FLUFF

A/N:I’m actually really proud of this one even though the introduction is a bit boring. please read until the end and tell me what you think! Also, I really love this cheesy bed sharing fanfictions but it’s different in this imagine. (This theme wasn’t my idea, I saw it somewhere but don’t remember the name anymore…)

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Falling in love is so easy that you don’t realise that it is actually happening.

A stupid, cheesy saying that I never really agreed with. I mean, how could you not notice being head over heels because of one person.
Well, I guess I learned it the hard way. Or rather kinda the hard way.

I was used to share a bed with Dean. But it was never the type of bed sharing that was needy and consisted of endless cuddles and realising the love for the other person.
It was never the type of bed sharing that was described in the Dean Winchester fanfictions on the Internet.
Yes, maybe I was interested in the fantasies of the so called “Deangirls”. But that’s not the point.

Back to the topic: Dean and I just laid next to each other, not really caring about the other and simply only wanting to rest after an exhausting day.

So when we entered the motel that only had one room with two normal sized beds left, there wasn’t a nervous fluttering in my stomach. Why should I be nervous?
So when we entered the room that was barely tidied up, there wasn’t a flirty comment from Dean about sharing a bed with his godlike body. Why should he be flirty?

Dean only looked at me briefly when Sam threw his bag on the bed at the window, reassuring our arrangement. I nodded before I headed to the bathroom without a word, feeling cramps in my abdomen.
I tried not to get pissed about my period. The life of a hunter was cursed anyway and my period was actually the pain that was the easiest to endure.

Trying to forget about the pain coming from my stomach and the fresh, deep cut caused by a werewolf, I stepped into the shower. I enjoyed having the warm and clean water covering my body like a sterile blanket and felt better as soon as I changed into my pyjamas which weren’t soaked in my own and werewolf blood.

Leaving the bathroom I saw Sam getting patched up by Dean and I approached them. “How bad is it?”, I wanted to know while I took a closer look on Sam’s neck.

“It’s very deep… but not deep enough to turn him, I guess.”, Dean mumbled, his eyes fixed on his younger brother’s neck.
“I’m fine!”, Sam rolled his eyes but Dean pushed a cloth against his neck making Sam groan in pain. “Yeah, maybe not.”, I chuckled and gave him a smile filled with sympathy.

I sat down on the bed, watching the boys tiredly. “Your turn.”, Dean demanded seriously, but his voice was definitely filled with concern after Sam stood up to have a shower as well.

“I’m fine.”, I rolled my eyes just like Sam did a while ago and Dean scoffed. “Trust me, sweetheart, you’re not. Stop bullshitting me like Sam does.”, Dean said harshly and now it was my turn to scoff.

“How about you shut up and let me rest?!”, I snapped, causing Dean to jump slightly at my sudden change of mood from tired and annoyed to aggressive and dangerous.
“Well, I would if you hadn’t had this huge cut on your tigh! And in case you didn’t notice, if you hadn’t thrown yourself in front of me, I would be the one with the cut.”, Dean replied matter-of-factly with an incredible calm voice while I stood up to face him.
“So it’s my fault now that I’m hurt?”, I yelled, folding my arms in front of my chest.

“Hell yeah, it is!”, he threw his arms in the air, “I could’ve handled this freaking werewolf on my-”
“Hey, guys, lower your voices!”, Sam’s voice interrupted Dean and we both stayed still, glaring at each other.

“Whatever.”, I shrugged with anger in my voice and turned around to finally get some rest.
He didn’t say anything else while I started to go through my stuff, looking for my beautiful, black gun that always had to lay right next to the bed.
I didn’t know what Dean was doing and I honestly didn’t care at the moment. I just wanted to sleep.

I laid down flat on my back on the right half of the bed, leaving the left half to Dean.
I allowed myself a glance at him, sitting at the little table and researching. I could see the tension in his muscles while he propped up his head with his right hand. It didn’t took me very long to feel sorry, my mood changing again.

But before I even had the chance to think about apologizing, Sam entered the room and it was Dean’s turn to have a shower.
I quickly closed my eyes, hoping that Sam wouldn’t ask questions and would leave me alone.

About ten minutes later, I was already zoning out, I felt Dean next to me because of the lowering of the matress due to his weight and of course his shoulder that was pressed against mine.

“I’m sorry.”, I whispered so that only he could hear it before I opened my eyes and turned my eyes to look at him.
“I just wanted to help.”, he murmured, his facial expression tensed telling me that he was still mad at me. Without thinking I took his hand in mine, intertwining our fingers and feeling the tension slowly vanishing.

“I know. I’m just super sensitive at the moment.”, I mumbled, hoping he would get it. But he just looked at me, confused and tired. “I’m… um, it’s just… it’s this time of the month again.”, I explained and his eyes widened slightly before he nodded. “Oh.”

I fell asleep several minutes later with Dean next to me and his fingers between mine, which wasn’t romantic in any way. It was simply platonic
Our relationship was platonic even though Sam said different things I was pretty sure that there wasn’t anything romantic going on between Dean and me.
It was simply platonic.

And I was also not in love with Dean Winchester.

But when I woke up to Dean pulling my small body into him, I did feel a weird feeling in my stomach and it wasn’t my period, that was for sure.
I felt Dean’s strong arms under my head and around my waist while his chest covered my back. “Dean?”, I asked and only got a quiet groan as a reply.

I didn’t remember the reason why I let him sleep, probably because of his lack of sleep. But I did remember how my heart stopped beating for a couple of seconds when I felt his lips on the back of my neck. Warm and soft.

One kiss, then another, then another…

And then, him mumbling my name… I couldn’t move like my body was bewitched while his lips trailed over to my shoulder. “Dean?”, I asked again and I turned around a bit, feeling the grib on my waist tighten and his lips wandering to my neck.

My face was hot. Very hot and probably red like a tomato. Dean groaned again when he started sucking on my neck and I let out a unwanted moan.

I looked over Dean’s shoulder to Sam, panicking and checking wether he was sleeping. He was asleep. Thank god…

Slowly getting calmer, I let Dean kiss me and started to enjoy the feeling of his slightly wet lips on my sensitive skin.
My eyes closed without me wanting it, taking in Dean’s scent which mostly consisted of cheap soap.

I didn’t wanted to admit it but I liked it. The whole situation.
Dean’s scent around me, the warmth coming from him, his strong arms around me and the fact that he was probably dreaming about me while kissing my neck.

“Dean!”, I raised my voice when I got out of my trance and he groaned again.
But this time he finally woke up, his face in the crook of my neck and his arms holding me near him.
In a second, his beautiful face was as red as mine while he let go of me.

Without a word I hurried into the bathroom to go to the toilet and to wash my teeth, wanting to feel clean again.
I quickly brushed my hair without really looking into the mirror.

“I’m going to buy some pie.”, I mumbled before leaving the motel and Dean just nodded, not saying his usual words “That’s my girl.”

When I got back about half an hour later, Dean was packing his stuff and Sam wasn’t in bed anymore. “Where’s-”, I began and Dean answered before I even ended the sentence, “Bathroom.”.

“Here, I already packed your stuff. I hope you don’t mind ‘cause of your… Nevermind.”, he mumbled while he handed me my backbag. We stood still for a moment, his incredibly green eyes wandering to my neck and staying there. He cleared his throat before he looked at me again and then continued, “Sam said that we should wait in the car.”

After he finished packing everything in his back we went over to the Impala where I remembered the pie in my plastic bag that I totally forgot surprisingly.
“That’s for you by the way.”, I told Dean as he leaned against his car.

His green eyes lit up at my words while his smile widened. “You’re the best.”, he grinned at me, not even looking at the pie I gave him. He also took my bag out of my hand to put it and the pie on the back seat.

And before I knew it, his lips were on mine. Not on my back, not on my shoulder, not on my neck. No, they met my lips and slowly moved, filling me up with excitement. His right hand wandered up to caress my cheek while his nose brushed against mine.

I knew that it was definitely too late now. And maybe I even knew that already in the morning. There was no point of trying to hide it from myself.

I was in love with him.
And I let myself melt into his body, my hands roaming up over his body while his arms wrapped around my back to lift me up. I laughed against his while I folded my arms behind his head and deepened the kiss.

A few moments later Sam appeared put of nowhere and cleared his throat. Dean and I separated quickly but kept close. And of course, he had to comment what he saw, “Told you she would let you kiss her.”

After Sam sat in the car, I saw Dean still smirking at me. “I wouldn’t have kissed you if Sam hadn’t told me about you letting me kiss you this morning.”
“What? I thought he was asleep!”, i exclaimed, making him chuckle and pulling me into a hug.

“I’m sorry by the way. I didn’t know that… well, I was dreaming that you and I…”, he whispered, his lips brushing over my ear.
“It’s fine. I mean, I can’t complain. And sharing a bed with you is always fun. It never hurts to have such a gorgeous sleeping beauty next to me.”, I mumbled into his shoulder before he pulled himself back to lock into my eyes.

He smiled at me a few seconds before he leaned down to kiss me again. With a quick movement he turned us, my back hitting the Impala when his hips pressed me against his car. There wasn’t much time before this kiss escalated. His tongue tracing over my lower lip, causing my knees to get weak and my body to melt even more into him.

We were interrupted by Sam, his knuckles knocked against the half-open window. “Honestly, you lovebirds, we have work to do.”, he laughed and Dean groaned loadly when we parted, my head instinctively following his.

He looked down at me sweetly, his eyes not even fully opened and he pecked my lips again before he pressed a kiss on my fore head.

“You have no idea what you do to me.”, he sighed quietly before he let go of me and we got into the car.

Sam just smirked at Dean and then turned around to look at me, smirking at me as well while Dean was concentrated on the road.
“Nice hickey you got there.”, Sam mentioned and my eyes instantly widened as my hand reached up to my neck.

As soon as I locked into the mirror I saw Dean staring at me. Then he winked, making my face heat up but a smile formed on my lips.

This was the beginning of something new. Something different.
And I was really happy about Dean dreaming about me and also Sam not being awake.